Reminder of where we left off, action-wise: Now my face was really burning. I groaned, but Bakura just grasped tighter.

DISCLAIMER: Do you really think I own Yu-GI-Oh?

RYOU'S PERSPECTIVE

I squeaked in protest, but I didn't really mean it. Whywould I complain about Bakura holding me?

On the other hand, I know he doesn't feel the same way about me as I feel about him, so that in a way makes me feel even worse whenever he touches me or talks to me. It feels like all my hopes are for nothing, which is probably true. I don't even think he likes boys, not in this way. In fact, until I met Bakura I didn't think I did either. But Bakura changed everything.

At first I was afraid of him and resentful of him, but I gradually began to find out that he wasn't so bad. He was just inexperienced in terms of friendship, and angry at the world for what some long-ago Pharaoh had done to him. As he let go of the past more, I began to feel something for him that I'd never felt before for anyone. I'd had crushes before, on girls, but this was different, deeper. This was a connection that encompassed everything about him. And I realized that I was...in love.

Of course, it gets me into trouble. He started coming to school, and when we end up in the same classes I find myself staring at him instead of doing my work. But since I'm not sure how long this feeling will last, and I'm sure he doesn't feel the same way, I have tried to keep quiet about it.

Marik was staring at me out of the corner of his eyes, so I quickly stopped making complaining noises at Bakura. Its always better to go unnoticed by Marik. How come I live with all the crazy people? I wish Marik and Malik would move out.

A tiny voice in my mind asked snidely, Oh yes? If they leave, Bakura will move back into the other room. Now do you really want that?

I tried to smother my thoughts. Lately I've been growing steadily more obsessed with my dark companion, to the point that it interferes with everything. My grades are falling, I'm not getting enough sleep, and I keep getting lost in embarrassing, uncharacteristic daydreams. And the strangest part is that as destructive as all this is, I don't want it to stop. I like being in love with Bakura more than I hate it. If only he would show affection back, I could live with it, but instead he either plays with me , orders me around, or ignores me...

Suddenly I realized that Malik was talking. I barely caught the tail end of a sentence.

"-still, I think he likes it."

I jerked involuntarily, brain frozen. Were they talking about me? I squirmed away from Bakura's grasp quickly. Was my infatuation that obvious?

They all looked at me in surpass, Bakura looking confused. As reason returned I realized they probably hadn't been talking about me at all, and immediately felt embarrassed. I muttered something about homework and fled to the room I was sharing with Bakura. My bed was on the side farthest from the door, and I launched myself into it angrily. What is the matter with me?

Things have been spiraling out of control for the last few days. I can't quite figure on what's wrong but I know that something is. I just don't feel like myself. I feel alone, distant from everyone else around me. I haven't been hanging out with even my closest friends at school, and especially my Yami. Maybe it is a phase, or maybe it's something more serious than that. I've been trying to keep all this to myself but things keep slipping, slipping out of control.

As my thoughts swirled around in my head I heard the others downstairs laugh. Discussing my strange behavior? I thought of something, my heart stopping. What if Bakura thought I had pushed him away and left because I didn't want to be with him? I'm such an idiot- why can't I think before acting? Argh!

More to distract myself than anything, I picked up a book. I didn't feel like studying, something else unusual for me. Why isn't anything simple anymore? Sighing, I opened the book and began to read.

NORMAL P.O.V.

Several hours later Bakura came up the stairs to the room he shared with Ryou. While he had had a good time with Marik and Malik celebrating Malik's birthday, he decided to turn in early. He snorted. Maybe his Hikari was rubbing off on him. But thinking about Ryou led to some confusing thoughts.

He could usually feel his young Aibou's emotions, at least in a general way, but something prevented him from being able to sense them recently. Ryou's companion was getting worried about him. Something was wrong but he couldn't figure on what it was. Ryou wasn't himself and Bakura couldn't figure out why. It was like Ryou had put up a mental block and Bakura couldn't get through to him. And though he didn't like to show it, Bakura cared about his gentle Hikari.

Bakura opened the door to their room and saw that Ryou was reading a book. As soon as Ryou saw Bakura, a shadow fell over his delicate features, clouding his brilliantly green eyes. Something wasn't right; where was the happy, innocent Ryou Bakura was used to?

" What's wrong?" the dark asked his light, sitting on the edge of Ryou's bed and watching him closely. Ryou simply shrugged his thin shoulders and turned his eyes down. There was an awkward silence between the two and Bakura waited for the boy to clear his mind and try to express his thoughts.

" I don't know." Ryou finally looked up at his Yami, his green eyes full of pain. For a second Bakura thought that he saw something like...longing? but then Ryou turned away. Bakura watched his Aibou for a moment and frowned, his eyes dark from worry. Ryou had been so quiet lately. He hadn't spoken much and he hadn't been spending time outside his room, though he usually followed Bakura like a lost puppy. In fact from what Bakura could tell Ryou hadn't spoken to anyone lately, not even at school.

" Aibou, what's going on?" Bakura moved a little closer to him, crouching down to get eye level with him. " Something's bothering you. You haven't been acting like yourself lately."

Ryou turned so that his Yami caught nothing but his profile. Yami watched him a moment longer, sighing heavily in frustration and worry. Bakura was trying to understand, but it was no in his nature to be patient and he was starting to think he couldn't help his light. He hesitated, then ruffled Ryou's hair and walked over to his own side of the room, picked up the comfy pants he slept in, and started getting ready for bed.

Ryou felt Bakura leave, the hope that had started to blossom when Bakura had touched his hair deserting him as quickly as it had come. He stared at the ceiling for a moment before burying his face in his hands and weeping, his small frame shaking with silent sobs.

Bakura had left to change in the bathroom, and by the time he got back his little Hikari was asleep, a troubled expression on his face. Bakura sighed and climbed into his own bed, though it was some time before sleep claimed him.

RYOU'S P.O.V.

I awoke to an alarm beeping just above my head. Tiredly, I groped for the button and sat up, rubbing my eyes. I surveyed the room. Bakura was already up, presumably taking a shower judging by the sound of water running in the other room. I swung my legs out of bed and tried not to think about what I would do today, a Monday. I hadn't done most of my homework, and knew I would regret it today.

The carpet was soft against my bare toes as I made my way over to the dresser and picked out some non-descript clothing. Bakura says I have no sense of style and he's probably right, but I can't bring myself to wear the kind of tight clothes he wears and certainly not leather like Marik and Malik. Yet another reason Bakura will never want me...

I dragged myself out of the bedroom, softly tapping on the bathroom door. The shower stopped, and Bakura called out.

"Yeah, wha izzit?" He'a not a morning person.

"I need to take a shower too you know," I said stiffly, surprised at how distant I sounded. Why was I being so rude?

Bakura clearly had the same impression, because he paused. I could almost imagine the perplexed expession on his face...but just thinking about his gorgeous features was painful. I heard the sounds of footfalls, and the shower door opening and closing. He was getting out. Finally he said, seeming more alert than before, "Sure Ryou. I'm getting out now, won't be long."

In a few moments he opened the door. He was wearing a towel around his waist and nothing else. My eyes wandered across his muscled chest of their own accord. He was beautiful, toned and lean. His skin was gleaming and smooth. Yes, my yami was beautiful. But no wait, he wasn't really mine...

I forced myself to bring my gaze to his face. He was grinning, having noticed my stare. I kicked myself mentally, my forehead knitting. The smile on his face wavered and disapeared as I walked into the bathroom without a word, feeling worse than before. My arm accidentally brushed his and I unintentionally shivered, just that simple touch sparking my whole body into awareness of just how amazing he looked draped in that towel, but my brain knowing that he saw me as just a silly Hikari.

I hurried in and shut the door shed my pajamas, turning the water temperature to high, trying to use the stinging needles of water to drive all thought out of my head. Today was not going to be a good day, I could already tell.

The entire way to school we'd didn't say much, but just his walking had been enough to drive me crazy. From the slight sway of his hips to the way he gazed arrogantly at his surroundings, it was all so perfect.

Even when I wasn't around him, he managed to fill my thoughts. I couldn't pay attention in classes, and my English teacher actually took me aside after class and asked if I was feeling all right. I just sighed, and didn't say anything. He looked concerned, but had to let me go to my next period.

The day passed agonizingly slowly, and every class was torture, especially those with Bakura in them. He seemed to attract my thoughts without even doing anything. When school finally ended I was relieved. I had avoided everyone, eaten lunch alone, and had an overall miserable day.

Bakura and I walked home together and I made it a point to be silent. I didn't even try to start a conversation.

Partway home he smacked himself on the forehead. "Damn, I left my English binder in my locker! I gotta go back and get it," he exclaimed. English is the one class he actually tries in, even though he's actually pretty smart.

My heart plummeted, but I tried to disguise my disapointment. Just you average, innocent, plain Hikari. Nothing to see here. Or so I pretended anyway.

"Oh...alright," I said softly, turning my head to stop him from seeing my features cloud. "See you when you get back." I walked the short distance to the entrance, closing the door behind me. I could almost feel Bakura gaping at me. I'm always the cheery bubbly one. Or I used to be.

When Bakura came home, I still said nothing, pretty much keeping to myself. He'd tried to talk to me, but I ignored him, lost in my own thoughts. Eventually he'd relented and gone off somewhere to 'do his homework'. More like watch TV, from the sounds downstairs.

During dinner, I felt even more depressed, and somewhat desperate. In fact I was so much not my self that I decided to try and ask the question that had been plaguing my head. I pushed away my barely-touched plate.

"Bakura," I said. He looked at me strangely, but in my despondent state I barely noticed.

"Yes, hikari," he responded tentatively.

"Well...nevermind"

"Ryou, you can tell me."

"Do you...I mean, could you ever..." I trailed off, unsure how to phrase it. He looked confused, unaware of the struggles taking place inside of me.

"What is it Ryou?"

If I had been thinking straight I would have noticed right away that he was acting differently towards me. Normally he would have brushed me off or not taken me seriously, but this time all his attention was on me.

"It's just, I feel..." my throat constricted and I could feel tears coming on. What was the matter with everything? Why was it all so hard?

"Ryou, I don't underst-" I cut him off.

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Yami." I got and ran to my bedroom, without even bothering to put my plate in the sink or anything. I didn't feel like doing my homework again that night so I changed into a huge comfy T-shirt and boxers and lay face up on my bed. But I was not even close to falling asleep. Instead, I drew a shuddering breath, and felt tears well up from my eyes.

He doesn't love me. Nobody does. I'm Ryou, just Ryou...I don't deserve his love. He doesn't even like me, he'd probably be happier if I didn't exist...everyone would, it would be better that way...

I was sobbing more quickly now, drops trailing down my face onto my pillow and making me feel even more pathetic. I tried to stifle the noise I was making, but half-hoped Bakura would come to me and comfort me.

But nobody came, and eventually I fell into a deep sleep riddled with bad dreams in which I was with Bakura . I would stretch out my hand to his but he would shake his head and move away, and as hard as I tried I couldn't reach him.