Chapter 4: Stranger yet
"Well I'm going out again, tonight." Kakashi says grabbing his car keys. "You two try to get along and have some fun, ok?" With that both me and Itachi tell him goodbye, Kakashi waves and then closes the door behind him. This is the second time he's left me alone with my brother. Though this time I do plan on spending time with him. I'll give him a chance, just this one chance. But this doesn't mean I'll ever feel the admiration and love I used to feel for him. No, he lost that and will never get it back. But seeing as we have to live under the same roof, and we're blood related, I should at least make peace. My hate for him will always be there, but he's the only family I have left after all.
"So what do you want to do?" I mumble to my Aniki. He then looks at me, emotionless to anyone who doesn't know how to read his expressions. But, I could tell he was taken by surprise by my question.
"Are you offering to spend time with me?" He states more then asks, but I nod. "Well there's not much we can do." He states and goes to sit on the couch. Then turns on the TV. He wants me to sit with him, though he didn't say so or make any gesture to it, I knew that's what he wanted. So I sit next to him. The stranger that is now my brother. Though he seemed to be the same, he also as obvious differences. Or maybe Itachi was always like this, maybe he always had the ability to kill. And, I just never noticed it till now.
I wanted to talk, says something, because the silence just bothered me. It was awkward and I wondered why Itachi didn't say anything. Usually he's the first to speak, even if his words make no sense. I watch the TV, Itachi had finally stopped on a channel. But it was still strange and uncomfortably peace. I find myself mindlessly pulling on the chain around my neck. Yes I'm wearing it, the locket he gave me. It's actually only the second time I've placed it around my neck this past week. I let the locket part of the necklace fumble into my hand. Then I stroke it, soon opening it only a bit, then closing it. Itachi seems to notice I'm playing with something.
"You're wearing it." He states a hint of joy in his voice easily missed by untrained ears. I say nothing, lost in a day dream. Yes maybe he's always been like this. After all the way he talks is the same. You have to listen and look closely to notice any sort of emotions, any sort of happiness. And I can pick those feelings out, because I've been around him in my childhood. I'm trained in picking up on the small hints in his voice and expressions.
Then a thought came to me, one that I didn't hope was true. I ignore it, after all he went to the hospital…is he so emotionless because he still has it? Does he still have his depression? No they wouldn't have let him out of the nut house if he did.
"Sasuke?" I look at Itachi, who was staring at me with wonder. I must have done something while thinking to make him worry, maybe my expression changed. After all I haven't yet completely master his coldness. I look at him for a bit, he turns his face to the television again. I narrow my eyes, it's unlike him to look away from anyone. He can usually intimidate anyone with his eyes and never averts his gaze.
I ignore it though, in favor of speaking. After all the quiet was starting to annoy me, and there was something inside that wanted to know. Is this still my old nii-san? "Why." That one signal word, it could mean so much…but, we both knew what I meant. And Itachi wasn't going to play dumb.
"Because not everything is as it seems, Sasuke. Just because a Kingdom seems to be at peace, doesn't mean there isn't a civil war." I knew that's the only explanation I would get from him, at least for now. Because deep inside he wanted to tell me, I know he's waiting for something. Maybe the right time, but he wants to tell me his reasoning. He thinks he could be forgiven then, or maybe he just wants the weight off his shoulders. But he'll tell me. It may take years, which I hope not, but he'll confine in me.
"What about you?" Itachi retorts.
"Me? I didn't kill anyone." I say with a hint of harshness in my tone.
"I meant, why let me back in your life?" He asks, I look at him our eyes meet. I stare into his cold, dark as coal eyes. I could have sworn there was a glitter of red in them, like the reflection of blood. Blood on the floor spilled so long ago. "I could have been assigned to a different foster home." He speaks again in his emotionless voice. This time not even I could hear anything but coldness. It made me feel confused and uneasy, that I have no hint to his feelings about this situation.
I get angry. "Why did you pick to come live here then?" Itachi smirked as if he had just won something. And maybe he did, after all I didn't answer his question.
I stare into the emptiness of his eyes, and don't notice him move his hand until he speaks. "Because I missed you, little brother." He explains, and runs his hand through my spiky hair. I finally escape those scary eyes and slap his hand away from me.
"I told you before not to touch me." I hiss. Itachi turns his attention back to the TV and it was silent again.
"I didn't care either way, where you where to go and live." I brake the silence by answering his earlier question. Nothing more is said, and we sit together. Like we use to so long ago….
"How are you doing in school, Sasuke?" My father asks me, we were all at dinner.
"He's doing great! I spoke to his teacher today." My mother chimes in, Itachi the whole time sat in stillness next to me. "She says he could even skip a grade…just like Itachi." My mom was wary of using Itachi as a comparison. After all she never knew what could set him off, what could start a fight. It was quiet for the longest time. Then my parents went back to speaking, about me. I looked worried in the direction of my brother.
Noticing fresh cuts on his wrist as he put down his fork. When did that happen? I asked myself, after all I thought I was keeping a good eye on him. Itachi had skipped one grade, I think he never went to first grade. He started school at an early age. Not going to kindergarten in favor of second grade. He was smart, sometimes my dad would—in a hush tone, when he though no one was around to hear him—say Itachi was too smart for his own good. Aniki, was offered to skip even more grades, but he declined.
"Well that's just wonderful. I'm proud of you Sasuke. Are you going to take the offer?" My father asks me, I bring my attention to him.
"I don't know yet." I mumble as an answer. Itachi then gets up, pushing his chair under the table. My father glared in his direction. As if warning him not to make a scene. Itachi saw this and only smirked at him.
"May I be excused?" Came his emotionless voice.
"Of course honey. Thank you for sitting with us." My mother said, smiling. Though my father didn't have the same kind look on his face. Itachi then takes his plate to the sink and rinses it off before going up stairs. Worry went through my little body. And I jump off my chair following him. He had fresh cuts, and I wasn't going to let him add anymore.
"Sasuke?" My father questions me. I bow and then ask to be excused too. They let me but, I could hear my father mumble as I leave.
"Itachi's such a bad influence on Sasuke." The door upstairs clicks, signaling that Itachi locked it. I climb the stairs as fast as my little legs could take me. Even stumbling on the way up. It was so strange, back then I loved my nii-san so much. He always made time for me, even before this whole sickness came over him.
"Aniki?" I asked, knocking on the door. I got no response, I knock again louder. I do this twice more before the door opens. I was relieved. Why did I put so much responsibility on myself at such a young age? It's not my job as the younger brother to take care of the older one. Itachi leaves the door open and walks back to his bed. I follow closing the door behind me.
We sit together for a long time, not saying a word to one another. Then I finally take his hand. I look at his wrist, though play it off as a childish hand game. Then I put both my hands over one of his, glad to see there weren't any more cuts then there were before.
"I love you Aniki." I whisper out. Itachi doesn't respond, but picks me up, putting me on his lap.
"Are you going to skip a grade?" He asks me.
"I don't know yet." I say, just like I told my father. Then I feel something wet. I scoot away a little, and look at my brother's thighs. Red was bleeding through his light colored jeans. He had cut himself after all.
My eyes open only a little, and everything around me was blurry and dark. I must have fallen asleep on the couch. I then notice that I'm moving, and can hear footsteps. I tiredly move my head, to try and see what's going on. My cheek hits material and underneath is a heartbeat. Then a door is opened. I'm put on soft sheets and pillows. I still can't open my eyes all the way, and sleep keeps me from making out any clear images. I get tucked in, I feel like some child.
"Goodnight Sasuke." Is the last thing I hear before my eyes go back to closing all the way. It was Itachi's voice that uttered those words.
A/N: Aw so cute, isn't it? Please review, thank you.