Chapter 6: the little things
It's been two weeks and this whole time I've been keeping an eye on Itachi. I've reassured myself that he's not depressed anymore, or if he is, it's not to an extreme. Yes he may not be that social, and doesn't smile, but there are no other signs of him still being sick. And I do suppose he is social with me. Though I don't know how he is at school.
It's Saturday and Naruto had asked me to come watch a movie with him. I agreed, I don't need to be cooped up with my brother every weekend. Kakashi said it would be all right and I was glad. Now if only I could get Itachi out of the house too, I don't think he's wondered farther than school this whole time….But then why is it any of my concern if he likes to lock himself in the house? Let him do what he wants.
Iruka had dropped me and Naruto off at the theater. "So how's it going with your brother? Gettin' along better, I hope." Naruto asks.
"I don't really talk to him that much…so guess I can't complain."
"But you're talking, that's good. I mean you can't hate him forever." My friend explains, as we walk into the theater, the movie would start any minute. And it did once we found a set. Can't hate him forever, huh? I don't know, sometimes it feels like I could. I just don't have the same connection to him. He's just not my Aniki anymore, he never will be. Because my Aniki wouldn't kill anyone. I stop my depressing thinking and just watch the movie. I went out with Naruto so I could get my mind off of my brother.
At the end of the movie, Naruto came out of the theater laughing. Recalling all the funny parts of the movie and telling me to lighten up. While we were standing, waiting for Iruka to come pick us up again, I actually cracked half a smile. Much to my friends enjoyment. Then we talked about things, like normal teenage boys talk about. Not once was Itachi brought up in the conversation and I almost forgot all my worry about him. All the pain and discomfort of having him back.
When I entered my home at ten o'clock it was eerily quiet. I supposed that everyone was asleep until I heard a small moan coming from the upstairs. I stiffened at the sound, a disturbing thought that involved Kakshi ran through my mind. I shake my head and go up to my room, hoping I wouldn't hear anything until I'm under the covers and fast asleep. But of course the sound came again, sending a strange shiver down my spine. As if a moan of relief rather then pleasure and it didn't come from Kakshi's bedroom.
Anger boils up inside of me as I go to the bedroom of my brother. I grab the handle, only to see the door is locked. The sweet soft sound of relief came again. And that same tickle crawled up my spine. After that sensation came panic, my emotions were all mixed up and I didn't know why. All I knew is that I wanted into that room badly. I felt like a kid again, wanting to stop Itachi from hurting himself again. I stop my frantic knocking at the door, which I just now notice I was doing. I take in a deep breath and ask myself why. Why am I standing here? Why should I care?
Then the door opened up and my brother stood over me. "Sasuke? What is it?" Itachi asks me softly panting, as if needing to catch his breath. I look at my brother, he was straight in his pajamas. I narrow my eyes.
"It's nothing." I say plainly looking at my brothers pants to see any sign of blood. When I don't see anything I turn and walk to my room. God why did I react like that? Hadn't I said I didn't care if he were to drain himself of blood? Then why is there such worry in the pit of my stomach? I shrug it of as worry about my used to be comfortable home. I didn't want this all to turn back to what it was like when I was young. Though I never showed it, I appreciate Kakshi. And I wouldn't want my brother to drag him and me into his depression again. Because a sickness like that effects everyone, not only him. I close my eyes, wanting to escape all these troubling thoughts.
Yelling; that's all that I hear. It's Itachi and my dad again. I listen close to their argument.
"Take the goddamn pills Itachi!" My father yells.
"No! They don't help!" My aniki yells back.
"Damnit Itachi, why would we get them if they didn't help? Why would they be on the market if they didn't help!"
"They don't, some fucking idiot came up with them!"
"And you would know how to make them work, wouldn't you? 'Cause you're just that damn smart!"
"Isn't that what you wanted me to be? A prodigy?" There was a long silence. Then the calm voice of my father came.
"Please just take your medicine. Do you really want to hurt yourself like that?" Once again silence. "Think Itachi, you're hurting us all. No one wants to see you this way. Please take your pills, if not for me then for Sasuke." The arguing then stopped and I could here the sound of running water.
I wake up to the sun shining into my bedroom. The memory that I had just dreamed, it was lost to me till now. After all, I can't remember everything. I sit in my bed thinking once again. So my Aniki took pills, but which depression was it treating? The one they labeled him with or the one I think he really has….Maybe it was the medicine that took my old nii-san away from me.
I get out of my bed, telling myself I don't care. That none of this concerns me anymore and as long as Itachi hurts himself and not anyone else it will stay that way. It's nothing I have to worry about….but then why do I worry for him? For that murderer, isn't this just what he deserves? A tortured existence, to pay for what he's done?
I get ready for the day and then walk downstairs. To eat some breakfast. Itachi was sitting at the table, Kakashi was in the living room watching the news, a cup of coffee in hand. I put two slices of toast in the toaster and wait. I glance over to Itachi, who's just drinking a glass of juice. When the toast pops back up I put them on a plate and put jelly on them. I also get myself a glass of milk, then sit down across from Itachi.
It was quiet for along time, but then my brother put down his glass. I couldn't help my eyes from wondering to his face. He was looking directly at me and I avert my eyes.
"Why were you at my door last night?" He asks me calmly, picking up his glass to take the last sip of his juice.
"I though….I heard something is all. But I must just have been hearing things." I say. My brother looked at me, a slight hint of surprise, or is it embarrassment in his eyes. I couldn't tell from the short time he held the emotion. His cool uncaring demeanor came back quickly. He put away his glass and then walked out of the kitchen. My eyes follow him, he was taking those little geisha steps as he glides across the room and out of my sight. I then go back to eating my breakfast.
Later on in the day, I was talking to Kakashi. Itachi was up in his room. "Sasuke, I'm proud of you." My guardian states, I say nothing. "For at least acting civil around your brother." I still don't speak and the rest of the time me and my guardian watch TV in silence. But that little bit of worry was still inside of me and I was wondering about Itachi's strange behavior this morning. I really just want everything to be normal, is that to much to ask? I don't want to repeat what happened in my childhood.
A/N: Was Itachi really cutting himself? Or was he doing something else? Anyway please review! Thanks! I also won't be updating until after December thrid or so.
P.S Sorry for the shortness