Dear You Who Read This,
This is a chain letter, a spam, junk as far as you can read.
Hello! This is Fred Weasley, one of the two founders Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. You know us by the names Them Who Wreck Rules or Those Who Escaped Umbridge. Man, that escape was indeed staggering! It felt good though.
It was too bad that George accidentally ate Exaggerated Emotion pills we just made. Now he's a drama player in Diagon Alley, confessing love to our neighbor and saying tragedies to their children, all the while quoting 'be it, or just don't be it.'
Well, one head was never better than two, except if you were running from a two-headed hydra, but I would still write the How-to. I will do it alone. Of course, our sense of humor was not that good if there is only one of us, so…
How to Joke
By Fred Weasley, One of the Twins
Joking was no laughing matter. It required great knowledge of everything, and I mean everything. Before you began to make a joke, you must first have:
1. A Life
Contrary to popular belief, comedians DO have life. It's important for you who like verbal jokes! If you're a ghost and transparent, how can your audience focus on you? They will instead focus on the old chimney or the fat guy who keeps picking his nose. If you're a ghost, ALWAYS stick to pranks.
2. A Superb Knowledge about Dictionary
Puns and word plays are an absolute winner. And for that, you need a dictionary that you take to heart. You can find that 'Defiant' was different than 'definite', 'wiener' was actually a sausage, and 'I think we should see other people actually means 'Haha, I already did' only in Dictionaries. Those things were god send. If you were bored about it, throw the Big Ol' Book to the other's head. It's fun!
3. A Lot of Comedian Videos
'Leonardo da Vinci's Latest Quirks' was one of my most favorite, so is 'Hitler: Kill All Enemies!' Once you get yourself a copy of 'Bush: Massive Mass', you will never stop laughing until the end of your life. It was jinxed with The Greatest Joke Ever spell.
4. Be Inspired
Inspiration was really important in making a joke. To be inspired, you could do anything; from picking your nose to brainstorming by using Storm Braining jinx. Just don't pick Troll's nose or using Brain Storming jinx instead. We tried it. See what we had become?
5. No Emotions for Animals
…Some of you do realize one of our bestseller Buzzing Book uses Pixie's horns as one of the most important part, right?
Now that you got all these prepared, time to get to the main point.
1. Always Write Your Jokes on a Paper
If you don't have paper, use toilet paper. If there isn't any, use the unused books (mostly Gilderoy Lockhart's ones, huh?) and the empty page usually at the end of it. If you don't have any unused books (or you're a big fan of Gilderoy Lockhart), you could use your brother's cloak instead. We always did that with Ronnie-poo.
2. Remember Your Jokes
Neville. 'Nuff said.
3. Don't Joke Too Much
Even comedians had feelings. Never use jokes at the inappropriate moments. Inappropriate moments would include the time when their fathers were attacked by giant snakes visible from a boy with a thunder-shaped scar on his forehead, or when their Headmaster was murdered by some stinky, stupid, Professor.
4. Be Creative
Make new jokes.
Before I leave you on your own, please be sure to:
1. Thanks People Who Heard Your Joke
People had lives. If they waste few minutes of their life to listen to your possibly unfunny jokes, thanks them. Shake their hand. But remember to remove the Ghost Glove first.
2. Don't Leave Anything
If you're an exploring comedian, be sure not to leave any of your stuff, or the most important, your joke things. Any comedian who happened to leave the Big Bang Simulation on any places was advised not to become a comedian anymore and went straight to St. Mungo's. Neville, you forgot your Fake Snot. Or was it the 'Sake Fnot?'
3. Visit Weasley's Wizard Wheezes for the Latest Pranks Ever
It's all matter of business.
P.S: Is it me eating too much Meanings Revealed pills or 'Joking is no laughing matter' sounded funny?