A Fortress Strong
Ok so it's a two-shot…..Again I don't own Dally, Johnny, the boys or the lyrics…..Susie and Gordon do…..and I thank them!
When you reach the part where the heartaches come
The hero would be me
But heroes often fail……
It wasn't even a conscious thought what I did after I watched you take your last breath. I just couldn't deal with the fact that you were gone. I had never felt pain like that. It hurt so bad. My heart felt like it was going to explode in my chest. I could actually feel it break.
I cried and I don't recall the last time I had done that. I was hard, nothing could touch me. Nothing but you and the fact that I couldn't save you.
It was my fault you went into that church. My fault you were lying in this bed. My fault you were dead….dead? My Johnny. No….I sent you there. I made this happen. I failed you.
XXX
But for now love let's be real
I never thought I could act this way
And I've got to say that I just don't get it……
Nothing seemed real to me. I left that damned place. And it was damned, believe me. It let you die.
I left and I ran until I found myself in that store. The only thing I could think of was you. You weren't gone. You couldn't have left me. You were the only thing keeping me sane, keeping me strong, making me feel like I had something to live for. Something good in my life. You couldn't be gone, Johnny. You just couldn't. Goddamn you! How could you leave me?
"Gimme the money!" And then I was running again.
I don't remember much. I just remember hearing the sirens. I was crying for you. I wanted to scream. I wanted this pain to stop. This goddamn searing pain in my chest. I wanted it all to end. And then it did.
XXX
But stories always end
And if you read between the lines
You'll know that I'm just tryin' to understand……
I saw my body lying there. It was the weirdest thing. There was no pain, no sound. Just the faces of my friends below me. Oh man, what did I just do to them?
Then I looked up and there you were. I hoped I'd be with you but I didn't know. I mean, I had done so many rotten things in my life.
You had a sortof disapproving look on your face but I was so happy. I had you back. And you looked beautiful. That fear in your eyes was gone, your scar was gone, you were walking. I ran over to you and dropped. I did the only thing that I could do. I held you and cried. But this time they were happy tears.
And I understood. Loving you was the one thing that redeemed me. You, Johnnny. Always you.