AN: okay i finished chapter 10, it's not very long, but at least i finished it, right?

I do not own twilight or new moon. I also don't own It Ends Tonight by the all-american rejects.

Chapter 10

Edward's POV

I sat up slowly, and muttered something that was even incomprehensible to me, the speaker. I swore darkly, glancing quickly up at the sky. One quick look gave me all the information I needed. There was going to be a storm.

Could anything truly get any worse? Before Bella I had succeeded at everything I tried, no, not just succeeded, but surpassed all others, including my "siblings". Normally, when I would only discover one simple answer to my problem, I found eight, if not ten different solutions.

The approaching storm meant I would need to head home, and at the moment, I really wasn't ready to face them. I was already facing a large enough dilemma without the input of several different minds.

If only life were simpler. If only Carlisle had let me die when I was supposed to. If only Carlisle had not interfered, and messed with fate and reality. The reality many humans believed in. If only they knew the truth.

I closed my eyes taking a deep breath, not that it helped to calm me. Nothing could calm me. I could just picture Bella rolling her eyes at me, annoyed with my quick to spark temper.

Maybe, that was my problem. I loved Bella because she just Bella, her own being, unlike any other around her. I loved the way she blushed, her clumsiness, how she was sweet and stubborn.

Evelyn, what about Evelyn? I knew nothing of her or her past. All she had over me was an unusual sense of control.

I needed to make a decision, and fast. This decision should have been easier, but yet it wasn't. Something was really, truly wrong.

Maybe, I really did need help. Alice seemed like the perfect candidate at the moment, and I couldn't think of anything better to do with my time.

I jumped off the soft moss covered floor, and set off toward the house at a run, not that I was really in a rush to get home and face her. She had had a discussion with Bella in Art, and I had heard the thoughts that had been running through her head.

What would the rest of my family say if I left Bella? I could just picture Rosalie's reaction to another informed human. I knew Esme would say that she was fine with my decision, but deep down would be very disappointed in me. And Alice? Alice would most definitely voice her opinion out loud.

Just as I neared the house, I came up with another speculation. Perhaps, my only problem was that I really would be better off with Evelyn, but I felt bound to Bella after putting her through so many life threatening situations.

I shook my head. Who would believe that these thoughts were running through my head, surely not my family? After all, I had already risked everything for her, on more than one occasion. Not that really seemed to matter in my mind anymore.

Confusion. The one human emotion that I had hoped I would never have to encounter again. Not only had it returned, but also it had messed with my mind, my view of common sense.

I groaned, and came to halt. Like I would actually make it appear that I had been in rush, -in need of help for once in my life- to my entire family, not that Jasper and Alice wouldn't know in the end. If I had a choice, Alice would be the only one I informed, but I had become accustomed to Jaspers special talent that I rarely bothered worrying about I would reveal to him.

I entered quietly through the front door, and headed straight for Alice and Jasper's room. Strangely enough, the room only contained Alice's small form. A sense of relief flooded over me at this discovery. It wasn't that I didn't feel uncomfortable around Jasper, it was just being aware of the fact that he could mess with my emotions, which were already in turmoil to begin with.

"Alice?"

Her head snapped toward me at a blurring speed. She glared. "You!"

I frowned. What did she know? Should I bother telling her of my confusion, or should I just tell her to get it over with. Besides, I never knew Alice to back down from a problem, or a snag, as she would refer to it as.

"I just came to ask you for a piece of advice."

"Oh," She looked puzzled, "what do need help with?"

"You swear you won't take sides with a certain person?"

"It depends."

"Hell Alice, I need advice and if you don't feel like giving it to me I'll go ask someone else!" I was way beyond my wits end; I had been since my fight with Bella.

"Yes, of course I'll help you."

I nodded. " Alice as I told you I have a problem. You know how I've been acting since you told me of your vision, well I think it's coming true, and now I'm not so ready judge the idea of me leaving Bella, so crudely."

I ignored the glares she was aiming regularly in my direction. "I talked to her Alice, and I don't know… it's like she holds more attraction to me than Bella. Even you know how hard that is to do. I'm afraid that I would be better off with Evelyn, and the only reason I feel guilty about leaving Bella is because she's risked so much for me," I stopped. As an after thought I added, "And, because all of you seem to have a bond with her, even Rosalie. I can't bear to think of what thoughts would be running through Esme's mind if I told her. She loves Bella so much."

Alice stared sadly down at my pale hands. "Edward, nothing I say can cause you to make a decision, you have to do it on your own, and this is something you have to use your heart for. I know you believe your heart died along with you soul back in 1918, but your wrong, and I can't see how you could believe that after everything you've felt for Bella."

"Edward, don't get me wrong, but is Evelyn's beauty really the thing that's drawing you to her, or is it more… Is it the fact that she looks like your fiancé? I'm not stupid Edward I saw the picture in the letter from your mom a few months before she died."

"The thing I don't understand though is that you told me that you had never loved anyone before Bella, how can that be true?"

"Alice, you don't understand. I didn't love Jessica; I never even felt anything for her. Her family was incredibly wealthy, and my parent's had made a deal with her father. If I married her, he would the army money to get me off the draft. That was my mom's only worry, that I would be drafted as soon as I turned 18. She tried everything in her power to keep me home."

"The first time I met Jessica I realized she was not someone I would ever even dream of sharing the rest of my life with. Yes, she was beautiful, smart, and kind but she just didn't understand anything I tried to discuss with her. She didn't know anything at all about the war going on around her, she didn't know how look after herself, or even how to pour her own tea. Her father did everything for her."

"She thought of herself as being better than everybody else, and she didn't believe anyone was worthy of her. I laid my observations in front of her like a red carpet; I had insulted her, and destroyed her dreams. No, I never felt anything for her." I concluded. I had never told anyone this before.

"Maybe you feel guilty about what you did, and are trying to make up for it by pretending that Evelyn is Jessica." She stated thoughtfully.

"No."

She sighed, exasperated. "Than what do you feel? Because I'm really trying to understand what's going through your head at the moment."

Finally, she was starting to understand. "That's the whole point! I have no idea what's going through my head, everything's wrong. Problems that would normally take a matter of seconds to solve are taking me hours to find a solution. Everything I was so sure of before has been destroyed."

Alice looked pained for moment. "Maybe, this is just another test of your love, to see what or who you choose. Edward, please don't make me decide for you. I can't help you anymore; Bella's my best friend. I feel like I'm plotting against her, betraying her trust."

I nodded, understanding what I was putting Alice through. "Thank you, Alice, I mean it."

I turned, and walked slowly up to my room. Staring at my shelves of CD's I ran through my jumbled thoughts trying to make sense of them. I sat there for hours debating on my decision.

I stared out the window, stared at the moon's bright reflection on the rough surface of the rushing river. The answer was now clear in my mind.

The dawn would mark my new beginning, the beginning of a life that would consists of Evelyn. Bella was out of the picture.

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

B/N: Hey peoples! Moonlight313 might delete this part, but I just wanted to leave a BETA note, it sounded fun. All errors are on me. Wasn't this so sad? I'm scared the ending isn't going to be happy. Keep reading though, it's good! Lena Bergel

AN: Hope you liked it, i will update within a week, hopefully. A big thanks to Lena Bergel for being a very helpful BETA! Moonlight313