So sorry that it has taken so long to post this chapter… I had to install an air conditioner into my 'writing room.' But that is not an excuse…
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Enjoy…
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Dean sighed and ran a hand through his cropped hair. He had been sitting by Sam's bedside for the three days that it had been deemed Sam would be allowed to have constant visiting with family. No amount of his father's pestering had been enough to get him to leave for more than a few minutes. The only times that he had left his little brother's side had been to take a shower in the nurse's locker room, or to go and get food for himself from the vending machine or the cafeteria.
The day before, Dean had come back from one of trips to the shower to find his father standing over Sam, brushing away his bangs and mumbling something to his little brother. It wasn't an occurrence that was uncommon since they had arrived, and Dean had moved to sit in the chair he had occupied almost constantly.
When Dean had heard what his father had been murmuring to his brother, he had finally let all the anger and fear he had felt since his brother had left go.
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"Sammy," John sighed, running his hands through his youngest son's hair. "God Sammy, I knew you shouldn't have gone. If you had stayed home, none of this would have happened." John told Sam, and Dean growled.
"If he had stayed home?" Dean asked incredulously, and John turned to him. "You can't seriously be blaming Sammy for this can you?"
"Well, if he had stayed home, he wouldn't be hurt right now, hell the accident probably wouldn't have even happened if he hadn't been in Erin's car." John said, and reached to put a hand on Dean's arm, while still running the other hand through Sam's unruly locks.
"Get away from him," Dean ground out, and his father stepped away in shock.
"What?" John asked, shocked and confused at his oldest' behavior.
"You heard me," Dean growled. "You stay the hell away from him. You haven't acted like a father to him in years. You've always put your wants and needs ahead of his, and it's going to stop, right now!"
"Dean-" John warned.
"Don't you 'Dean' me. You damn well know that Sam would be fucking depressed right now if he had stayed 'home.' And what home? We haven't had a home since mom died," Dean paused as his father flinched. "Our "homes" for the past nineteen years have been shit-box motel rooms, with water stains for decorations. Oh yeah once in a while you get an apartment, but even those aren't homes. They're more like boxes that smell bad and don't have enough room."
John let out his own growl and stepped threateningly towards his oldest. "Now you look here, I-"
"No! You look here old man. I'm glad that Sammy wanted to make something better of himself, and you should have been too. But you, you have to act all high and mighty, like it's your way or the effing highway. You're the only who pushed Sammy out, you're the one who told him never to come back, and you're the reason, Sammy's lying there fighting for his life!" Dean yelled, clenching his hands into fists.
"Just," Dean sighed after a minute, "just leave why don't you?" All the fight had gone out Dean, and he slumped into the chair at Sam's side, focusing his attention on his younger brother, and effectively cutting his father out.
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His father had deserved what he'd gotten, and for once, Dean was relieved to have finally told his father exactly how he felt. He had owed it to Sam, he had owed the tongue lashing to his father for a long time, and it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders when he had finally snapped.
Dean turned his attention back to the still form of his little brother and sighed again. Sammy was too young to be hurt this badly. He was too young to be dying… 'He's too young for a lot of things,' Dean thought to himself.
"Hey Sammy," Dean started, threading his fingers through Sam's. "How you doin' little brother?" Dean took the momentary pause that he had every time he had a one-sided conversation with Sam and went on. "Well the doctor says that you haven't improved, but that you definitely haven't gotten worse, and that's good news right?
"Sorry that Dad hasn't come to see you, but if you heard what I told him yesterday, then you know that I told him to go, and it's not his fault that he's not here, it's mine." Dean took a deep breath, and resumed pushing his hand through his brother's hair. "I'm kinda glad that he hasn't come back yet though, I don't really think that I feel comfortable as your big brother, letting him back in here just yet, and you know how protective I can be," Dean said with a smirk, remembering all the times he had beat the snot out of someone just for saying something mean to his little brother, and his father had crossed the line the night had forced Sam to go.
"I bet your in their sulking that you can't get your geek on, aren't cha?" Dean smirked, knowing that he never would have gotten away with that comment if Sam had been awake. "I bet you might have even gotten a girl at Stanford, they're all as freaky smart as you, probably even uglier than you when torn away from a book, huh?" Dean continued to talk to his brother, hoping that it would help him heal, that it would help Sam know that he didn't hate him, that he never could.
C'mon little brother…
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John Winchester stood outside his youngest son's room with a grim smile on his face. He had been standing there since Dean had started his one sided conversation with Sammy, and though he couldn't hear everything that was being said, he hoped that Dean was telling Sam to get better, and that his stubborn youngest would take his brother's words to heart.
He watched for a few more minutes, then turned away, and headed toward the cafeteria, needing some caffeine and something for his empty stomach. As he walked, John thought about the things he had said to his youngest, and the reaction Dean had when he had heard his words. Dean had been right to tell him off, what he had been saying to Sam had been wrong, and though he hadn't realized it at the time, he certainly did now.
'Please forgive me Sammy…'
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A/N: So yes it was short, but I kind of liked this chapter. I liked the way I wrote Dean's reaction, I figured that it was past due time for John to get it from Dean, and I really love protective Dean. So excuse my babbling about how much I like this chapter…
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OSS