A/N: So here comes my long winded excuses of why I haven't been updating, for anyone who's interested, any who's not then let me just say It short, I AM SO SORRY! So a friend and me are working on a youtube project that is entitled Naruto South: The days of our lives, which took up some time, with the planing out and the editing and everything. I also have been shopping for cosplay Akastuki cloaks, and my birthday was and event that took up time along with the party of another persons birthday party which I went too. Then of course driving lessons and I've been writing other stories that aren't' fanfic related in hopes that I will get them published. Well that's why I haven't been updating so frequently, I'm very sorry.
Chapter 20: The short moments we have
I waited for Kakashi to tell me the 'good' news. "Iruka has agreed to watch you, so you'll be spending most of your summer with Naruto," he says sounding relieved that he doesn't have to worry about Itachi and me. I wanted to yell at him, to scream and voice my outrage, to tell him how ridicules this all was. But what point would there be yelling over the phone? I'll wait for him to come home, and talk to him then. I want to be able to spend the last days I do have with Itachi at home here with him.
"What is it?" Itachi asks.
"Kakashi wants me to spend the day with a friend of mine until you're gone," I tell my brother. Seeking comfort I cuddle close to him, we stay silent. Who knows when I'll be able to hold my brother like this again? No matter how much I complain to Kaakshi I have a feeling that I'll be forced to go to Iruka, but I'm not going down with out a fight. Maybe there's a slight chance that I can convince Kakashi other wise.
When it was close to the time Kakashi would be coming home I went down stairs so that I cold meet him, and talk to him. I'm not a child, I know what I'm doing, I know what I'm feeling. I can't see the point of me talking to him, would it be considered a miracle if I could convince him into understanding my point of view? Maybe there is no point behind my wanting to speak with my guardian, the irritation that sits inside of me won't let me be. It's telling me to talk to Kakashi, even if nothing will change, the point is I would have been heard. I would have spoken and been heard, even if nothing good will come out of it, I need to be heard.
The front door is being unlocked, and I star at it in wait for him to enter. Quickly running the words I want to say threw my head. They came and went so quickly that I couldn't understand but pieces of them, but I knew the moment I open my mouth my speech will flow. His eyes land on me and for a moment time seemed to stop.
"Is there something Sasuke?" He ask studying my face, he knows all to well there is something on my mind.
"You were the one who said to give Itachi a chance, you told me to give him a chance," I say in a low voice. "Now that I have and it's gone beyond what you consider normal everything must be aborted. I have to be kept away from him. Well I'm not going to Iruka's tomorrow or any other day! I'm staying right here until Itachi turns eighteen!"
"Sasuke you're going to go for your own good. I already told you…I don't know how you went from disliking your brother to…to this. But can't you see how it's affecting you?"
"I can see how your interference in my business is affecting me!"
"I'm not going to ague with you. You were left in my care, and the title of minor is still on your head. Which indicates you are too young to properly make a lot of decisions for yourself. You're going to Iruka's tomorrow."
"I maybe a minor but I know what I'm doing! No matter what you do now it's not going to change that I love Itachi…." It was that simple phrase that had Kakshi looking at me with pity. The look confused me. But once he finally spoke with a sad shake of his head, I knew that my speech had meant nothing to him.
"I already told you I'm not arguing with you, go up to your room, and be ready to be dropped off at Iruka's in the morning." He says with a sigh. For a moment I simply sat there glaring at my guardian. Then I do as I was told and head towards my room. Upon reaching my door I look at Itachi's door which is slightly ajar. With a disobeying thought flickering threw my mind, I go into my brother's room, and lock the door behind me. It's Kakashi's own fault for not taking of the lock, if he's already being so extreme he should have thought of doing so as well.
Itachi gives me a knowing look, which held no pity, but only apology. He was not apologizing for the trouble he was causing, he was simply apologizing for the fact that the situation cannot be helped. A sort of look that gives me comfort and I walk over to my brother, who had by now predicted I wanted to be in his arms. I go to sit in front of him, resting my head on his shoulder. He simply laid his hand ontop of my head, and I start to fumble with my locket. There was silence, and there was a thought in my head I couldn't entirely comprehend until I spoke it out loud to my brother.
"Lets run away," I mumble, and Itachi's hand drops down no longer on my head.
"Impossible little brother," He tells me. I knew it was, but at the moment I really want to run away be far away from anyone and anything. I just want to believe, to float in the delusion for just a moment that possibly us running away together would lead to a happy ending. Of course Itachi didn't let me have false hope, he didn't want to encourage such a thing. He simply says the truth or what is logical to him. But why can't this be a fairy tale. Like the ones people use to believe were true, were fairy godmothers would help you escape an unwanted situation. Possibly I over reacting, maybe I'm being silly. But if I can't live in false hope at the moment then let me at least have the joy of my misery. Even if it may not seem like torture to anyone else, the thought of losing Itachi now…after all we have built up is unbearable.
"Sasuke I know you're in there, unlock the door and go to your room," Kakashi says in an all to calm of a voice. I didn't want to leave, but Itachi pushed me off of him, telling me to obey Kakashi. With a kiss upon my forehead I'm sent to the door, Itachi's face expression never changing as he urged me to leave. Once again I wonder what Itachi is thinking. Of course I can read some of his expressions and am more skilled in translating them then most. But now it seems like his face really is blank, and he leaves me with nothing, but that kiss upon my forehead. I unlock the door and go to my room, feeling eyes follow me. Was running away really such an impossible task? No I'm simply being foolish, Itachi's right. We would have police following use, because I'm sure Kakashi would report me missing.
The next day I practically awoke with a scowl on my face. Kakashi seemed to ignore it not caring, not saying much of anything to me because he knew the wrong word could start an argument, which is something he didn't want to get into at the moment. None the less silently I was forced to occupy the passengers seat, and watch as the building that held my brother in it disappeared from my grasp. Soon he will disappear from my grasp completely.
Upon reaching the place were I will stay until Kakashi's workday is over, I was greeted by my blond friend. Naruto seemed so happy to see me, I couldn't say that I had the same expression on my face, but it wasn't the boy's fault, he didn't know what was going on.
"It's kinda weird that you're staying here man, I though you were starting to get along with your brother. Now all of a sudden you can't even stand to be around him for the time Kakashi is gone?" He says, obviously this begin the story that Iruka gave him, the reason that would explain why I'm here. I don't think I would want it any other way. I doubt that Naruto would understand how I feel about Itachi now, I don't think many people would understand. It's part of human nature, I suppose, we sometimes understand so little, and do not always listen when someone says, ''put yourself in their shoes'. My friend leads me inside, a concerned look upon his face as he notices my expression and my lack of a response to what he had said earlier. Iruka and Kakashi seem to be having a small conversation like most adults always seem to have. I wouldn't be surprised if I am the topic of their conversation.
Once we were in Naruto's room and Iruka had come back inside having finished talking to Kakashi who was now driving off, my friend asks, "So what happened?"
"What do you mean?" I question in a monotone voice.
"Why are you here all of a sudden, like I had said, I though you were getting along better with Itachi."
"It's nothing, Kakashi just thinks it would be better if we weren't' around each other," Naruto wasn't stupid and he gave me a look and a lift of an eyebrow, which stated that. But I didn't give him anymore information, and Naruto let it drop, for now at least. I really don't want to tell him everything. I still strongly believe that my relationship with Itachi is my business…our business. After all Kakashi as stuck his nose in our business and look were that has lead. For the whole rest of the day Naruto tried to get that scowl off of my face, but he didn't succeed and I could see the worry in his blue eyes. He knew something was wrong, he knew that there was more to the story then anyone has told him, yet even if he was clue less and an idiot sometimes he knew better then to push me for answers. I didn't want to talk, and he knew this.
Once Kakashi came to pick me up everything was silent. Though I felt some sort of happiness knowing that my Aniki would be at home, maybe waiting for me. Even if we will not get any privacy, I can at least see him. The though brought some comfort, as I stepped out of the car and up to the door, there was a tinge of happiness. But this only resulted to be torture, being so close to my brother, yet unable to have a moment alone. I couldn't hold him, he couldn't hold me, we couldn't' as much as talk.. Or at least it felt like we couldn't talk, because every time our eyes meet there was a silence and I knew we could both feel the watchful eyes of Kakashi upon us. What could we say? What was there left to say, accept for the eventual good bye.
It was on the third day of this routine that Naruto had finally gotten enough of being in the dark. I no longer held a scowl but a sort of empty sad expression, and Naruto had had enough of it. "What's going on Sasuke!" He yells at me, and I only close my eyes and slowly shake my head. Naruto calms down only a little bit, but I know he's still bothered. "What did your brother do?' He asks, automatically assuming this is all Itachi's fault. I continue to say nothing. Naruto lets out a sigh, it sounded like he was going to give up, but instead he went on.
"Did he do something to cause flash backs or something? What happened sasuke, stop keeping crap bottled up and let me help you for gods sake!"
"It's nothing you can help with Naruto, so just shut up," I say curtly. My friend did stop speaking but instead gave me a hard look, and just shook his head in pity. How does he think he can help? Naruto kept staring at me, a new approach to getting an answer. And indeed it did aggravate me that he was staring at me. I'm watched at home after all, I don't need eyes burning a whole into me here too. I glare at my friend, silently commanding him to stop his annoying gawking.
"How do you know I can't help?"
My angry eyes continue to warn him, "You just can't so let it drop," I hiss out. Naruto reluctantly let the subject drop.
The days started to pass agonizingly fast, the clock ticking away every single minute that I couldn't have spent with my brother. But his presents was still there, it was pure tutor knowing soon he would no longer be in my reach. I don't want to let him go. Can't I even have one last moment with him? On last private meeting, where maybe I can be reassured that we will meet again. That he will find me. After all four years will pass, and I'll go to my own college, how will he find me? Every passing night I though of a way to get close to him one last time. The though of somehow escaping Iruka's house and going to him, was so appealing. Then the though of running away all together was such a nice fantasy, sadly one that Itachi would never fulfill with me. Because after all it would be hard for us, if I did indeed run away with him. I just wish, somehow that I could see him privately one last time and here of his plan. I know he has one. I know he has a plan to find me when those four years pass, but…I don't know it, and I don't want to be left in the dark.
Naruto saw my growing unhappiness, and with concern tried to reach out to me. But I would only swat him away. He couldn't help, no matter how many times he told me he could, he just couldn't. If I told him what was going on, he wouldn't even try to help me; I know. But that doesn't matter because there's nothing he could do even if he wanted to. Even if he didn't find my love for my brother utterly wrong. I looked at the calendar having been in a daze I hadn't really kept up with the passing time. And today was the last day my brothers presence would be in the house, his birthday. Naruto was so confused, when he saw me only get darker with depression when I looked at the calendar. I isolated myself, and tuned out my friend. I hardly even noticed when the doorbell rang and Kakashi called for me, saying that is was time to go.
I got up ever so slowly, as if my slow pass would stop the inevitable. Kakashi seemed to be phased a little by my expression, and I wonder if he was regretting his actions. If he saw now, that I'm not some stupid child that got tricked into believing that he loved his brother, but that I truly hold strong feelings for my Aniki. When we finally reached the front door of our home, I had a little bit of hope. That maybe I could see Itachi one last time as he leaves. But a heaviness came over me as I enter the quiet home. I turn to Kakashi, glaring at him.
"It's for the best…he's gone now," he tells me looking into my eyes. I felt nothing but anger nothing but hatred. I was angry at Itachi, for not even giving me a chance to say good bye, and it seemed that I held some hatred toward Kakashi, because it was all his fault. I was isolated, I had no chance to say goodbye, and I don't even know how I will even meet him again, and I blame Kakashi. Why don't people understand? Why don't they put themselves in others shoes, like they always say you should? It should be considered that if you don't understand something you should leave it alone, and not ruin it. I head up stairs, looking at the room were my brother had stayed. I lean on the window seal and look outside, my fingers drifting over the glass.
"I only hope I'll see you again," I whisper to myself as if trying to provide myself with some comfort. It's not like I could get any reassurance from anyone else. I hold on to my locket tightly, trying to convince myself that he will. That Itachi will come back for me. But I couldn't help but think of myself trapped, and I think back to all the times Itahi had called our old family life a kingdom, and my wishes of a fairy tale solution to our problem. Was I a subject or a prince? A prince who is now trapped in a tower, waiting for his prince to come take him away, to come save him like he did before. I open my locket and gaze at the pictures it holds inside, "But I suppose not all fairytales have happy endings," I whisper to myself.
A/N: So this is the last real 'chapter', but there is a high likely hood that I will make an epilogue, to answer some of the questions that have come up, and to tie everything together and such. But I warn you, I'm not very good at endings, as u may already see, since this 'ending chapter' isn't that great.