Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
I realize that the last chapter was bound to upset a few people, but I think it was somewhat necessary. In my opinion, HBP (when it wasn't focusing on relationships and snogging) was all about the fleeting of innocence. Really, in a world where the Daily Prophet arrives and Ron has to ask "who's dead today?", what else do you expect? I agree that having Harry kill someone so soon, especially Malfoy, probably wouldn't happen in the books, but I feel I should remind some of you that this isn't one of the books. While I can't tell you how flattering it is that people compare this little story to JKR's writing, I can assure you that the way things happen in this fic and the way I hope things happen in the seventh book are two extremely different things. Remember, above all, this is still a work of fanfiction.
I want to keep this story mainly about relationships but it's rather difficult to ignore that there is a war going on, and Harry has many responsibilities. I think the question "how far is everyone willing to go?" has many possible answers, and these are just mine. I'm not going to make Harry some hardcore murderer, or anything like that, but I'm at that stage where I can't realistically continue this without some of the Order getting hurt and dying, and how fair would it be if Harry and co didn't get in on the action at least once or twice? There will be necessary deaths in here, as well as murders, and many of them will probably be firsthand from some of our favourite good guys. If you don't like this, I really am sorry, but I think you should probably find another fic to read.
Chapter Thirty-Eight: Progress
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Upon hearing that Moody was most likely not going to recover, Hermione allowed herself a moment to feel guilty, and then closed her mind to the thought that she could have done something to prevent such a tragic event from taking place. Any one of the people fighting at the Department could have done something. She would never feel guilty for choosing Ron above all others.
But she did feel guilty about the other thing she had done. Had she really even done it? She clearly wasn't in the right state of mind when she'd pulled out her wand and used an Unforgivable – though, if anyone deserved it, it was a Death Eater.
She was an awful person now, wasn't she?
She'd spent her entire life establishing herself. She had a perfect, spotless record for doing everything right. And that was all shot to hell now, because she'd used one of the worst spells a person could use.
Merlin, the Ministry should just take her wand and erase her memory, so she could go back to being a regular Muggle, with no knowledge of the magical world or anyone in it.
She didn't deserve to be a witch. Magic was such a gift, and she'd taken it for granted by doing something so awful.
She shouldn't be allowed to go away with Ron and Harry to look for Horcruxes. She shouldn't be allowed to fight in this war.
She was supposed to be the one to keep Ron and Harry in line. She was supposed to maintain her sanity while everyone else went crazy. She was supposed to think rationally and weigh the consequences before each and every one of their actions. She was supposed to keep them all alive.
But it turned out that she sometimes leapt before she stopped and took a look around. She could have killed that Death Eater. Or worse, they could've ended up like the poor Longbottoms. How was she supposed to watch over Ron and Harry when she couldn't even control herself?
She'd once thought that killing another human being – no matter what side they were fighting on – was the worst thing a person could do. And surely it would mean no going back, that once someone had committed murder they could never be just a normal person.
Now, though, she knew differently. She suspected that many of the Order members, possibly even a Weasley or two, had used the Killing Curse in the past. She also suspected that by the time this war was over, Harry would be joining that list as well. The thought had once frightened her, caused her to worry so much that she could hardly think straight, let alone meet her best friend's eyes. Now, she was forced to wonder if she would end up on the same list.
Was this war making her hard? Or was she merely starting to realize just how much it would take to win?
She had to ask herself a very serious question. And she had to make an important decision.
How far was she willing to go?
She knew the answer before she even thought about it – she would go as far as she had to. She would do virtually anything. Even if it meant breaking every rule in the book and totally losing the old Hermione in the process.
And she refused to let herself feel bad about that.
……………………………………………………………
'Ron?' Harry whispered into the dark. 'You still awake?'
Ron's reply was a simple, 'Yeah.'
Although Harry had wanted to speak to Ron earlier, he had to admit that when he had whispered to Ron moments ago, he'd sort of hoped that Ron would have really been asleep.
'Can I talk to you for a second?'
'It's the middle of the night,' Ron said, but he didn't directly protest, so Harry assumed it was okay to say what was on his mind.
'Remember that Death Eater you told us about? Amycus?'
'Er, this is why you're keeping me up?' asked Ron. It was clear to Harry that Ron wasn't overly-enthusiastic about discussing this, but Harry really felt he needed to know what had happened.
'Yes,' Harry said. 'I need to know ... I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. Did you, y'know, kill him?'
'Yeah,' Ron said. 'Well, I mean, I guess I might have. I'm not sure.'
'You're not sure?' asked Harry. This wasn't the answer he'd expected. 'Didn't you use the –?'
'Nah,' said Ron. 'I didn't really – I mean, I didn't use Avada Kedavra, but I might as well have. He was tied up and the house was on fire ... I knew that if I didn't untie him, he'd – he'd die in there. But I Apparated out without helping him. He's dead now. I think people can consider that murder.'
'But what do you consider it?'
Ron hesitated a moment. 'I dunno,' he said. 'I haven't really thought about it.'
Harry knew that this was a lie. If Ron was anything like Harry – and he was – he'd obviously thought of nothing else until he'd reached a conclusion he could accept.
'Ron,' Harry said.
'I – fine,' said Ron. 'I reckon it counts as murder. What d'you think?'
'I think,' Harry said, 'that you did what you had to do.'
'Yeah,' Ron said, sounding pleased with this answer. 'Yeah, I did. And I'd do it again.'
It was silent for a long time, and Harry wondered if Ron had fallen asleep. Again, he was torn between feeling relieved and disappointed that he would not be able to discuss his dilemma with his best friend tonight.
'Why're you asking?' Ron inquired, breaking the silence, startling Harry.
'I – oh,' he said. 'It's just that – Malfoy died at the Department of Mysteries.'
'Yeah?' Ron said, and Harry could tell by his tone that he was waiting for the rest of the story.
'Yeah,' he said. 'I mean, I – I followed him after the whole Ginny thing and – I pressed my wand to his neck and I said it. Avada Kedavra. I said it. I killed him.'
Ron's bed creaked. Harry squinted in the darkness and was able to make out Ron's silhouette, sitting up in his bed.
'Good,' Ron said harshly.
'You don't think that I ... I dunno ... overreacted?'
'I think that Malfoy was a bastard. A despicable, evil little ferret,' said Ron. 'He called Hermione a Mudblood and made fun of my family, and it seemed like his sole purpose in life was to give you a hard time. He's the reason Dumbledore is dead! I think that he was the nastiest person I've ever had the displeasure of meeting, and if I were you, I would've done the same thing in a second. So if you're asking me all these questions about Amycus because you feel guilty about what you did – you shouldn't. Because Malfoy would just love to know that you're beating yourself up inside over him.'
Harry felt himself smile. 'Thanks, Ron,' he said. And when he closed his eyes, he found that this time, he was finally able to get to sleep.
……………………………………………………………
It was a morning near the end of October when Charlie began noticing how much he had missed in his absence.
It was no secret that he had spent the better part of the last ten years living in Romania, only coming home when he could, which was not very often. He had missed quite a few important moments in his siblings' lives. He hadn't been around to comfort Ginny after the Chamber of Secrets incident, and he hadn't been waiting up all night at Grimmauld Place with the rest of them when their father had been attacked by the snake. He'd been in Romania when Ginny and Ron were in the hospital after the Department of Mysteries, as well as when Ron had been poisoned on his birthday. He was the only one not there at Hogwarts the night the Death Eaters had invaded and Bill had been hurt.
Charlie loved his job. But he loved his family, too. And it was fair to say that when he'd had to choose between the two, he often chose his job. Sometimes, though, it wasn't his choice. He was a grown man now, with a career and a life independent from The Burrow, and he had certain responsibilities. He couldn't just leave and come home at the drop of a hat, not even now, in the middle of a war. He'd taken a long leave of absence so he could devote himself to working in Romania with the Order, which had paid off completely, because Harry and the others had been able to find a Horcrux there.
Because of all this, though, he sometimes felt rather detached from his family. He assumed that Bill felt this as well, and knew that Percy, who had only just come back to the family, must feel this way too. In the past few years, Charlie had only been home a handful of times. Percy hadn't turned out as loyal as hoped, and Charlie wondered if it would have been different if Percy had had the influence of his two eldest brothers at home during his last few years at Hogwarts. The twins had been different each time he'd seen them, and if it were possible, even more devious than before. Ron kept getting taller and taller, and more in love with Hermione every year. And Ginny – if it hadn't been for the Weasley hair, Charlie wouldn't have even recognized her when he'd come home this time.
As if on cue, Ginny and Hermione came down the stairs and entered the kitchen.
'Morning,' Ginny said, smiling brightly at him before sitting down on the opposite side of the table.
An owl arrived with the Daily Prophet, and Charlie read it as Mrs Weasley served breakfast. The delicious smell must have been strong enough to reach Ron's bedroom, because Ron and Harry quickly appeared.
Charlie recognized Ginny then, because of the look on her face when Harry came into sight. She looked exactly like the little girl she used to be, obsessing over the legend of Harry Potter. He sat down beside her and kissed her cheek, whispering something in her ear that Charlie didn't hear, and perhaps he didn't want to hear.
Charlie did not spend as much time with Harry Potter as the rest of his family did, and so he was slightly more objective when it came to Harry's relationship with Ginny, his baby sister, his only sister.
He wasn't quite sure whether he approved of it or not. Granted, he was aware that he'd never think anyone was good enough for Ginny, and that if anyone was going to make her happy, it was Harry. But he was more realistic than his mum, who said that their relationship was "harmless", and he was apparently more concerned with Harry's intentions that his father, who said that "Harry was a perfectly respectable young man" ...
Harry might've been harmless and respectful in everyday life, but he was seventeen. Clearly, Arthur had forgotten what it felt like to be seventeen and randy beyond belief.
Charlie hadn't. All the good intentions in the world couldn't stop Harry from being a teenage bloke with a pulse. It wasn't all that long ago that he had been in Harry's position, after all. Well, as close to Harry's position as one could get without actually being the boy being hunted down by one of the Darkest wizards ever.
And wasn't that just another reason why Harry shouldn't be so closely attached to Ginny?
Bloody hell, Ginny had been captured by Death Eaters because of her relationship with Harry. And now this whole prophecy thing ... It all seemed to spell disaster.
Everyone around The Burrow tried to be optimistic and supportive, always saying things like when the war is over. But nobody ever seemed to stop and realize that this war was not going to be won on hopes and dreams and positive thinking. There was a very real chance that many people were going to die. That Harry was going to die.
Being that Charlie wasn't as close to Harry as everyone else, it was easier for him to accept that Harry would probably not make it out of this war alive. Voldemort would be defeated – that was something Charlie allowed himself to hope for. He was willing to pay the ultimate price if it meant the difference between victory and defeat. This was something that he knew Harry was willing to do, as well. And though nobody ever spoke of it, Charlie was fairly sure his family all knew – or at least suspected – that Harry would have to pay this price.
In a perfect world, the Harry Potters would live. But in a perfect world, there would be no wars to begin with.
They were living in dark times, and the sooner everyone realized it, the better. Still, Charlie did not have the heart to tell his sister this.
What would he say?
Hey, sis, try not to get too attached to your boyfriend. Word on the street is that he won't make it to his eighteenth birthday.
She would castrate him.
He loved all of his siblings equally, but he had always been most protective of Ginny. Perhaps it was because she was the youngest, or maybe even because she was the only girl. But whatever the reason, he'd always taken care of her. Bill had been gone by the time Ginny was at an impressionable age, and Percy had been too wrapped up in studying to worry about her. Ron and the twins had never seemed to realize that Ginny was their sister and that they should be nice to her, because one day they would grow up and want to be closer with her. He'd stuck up for her with the twins. He used to take her for rides on the back of his broom. He'd been the one to put a bandage on her when she'd fallen and scraped her knee.
And now – she was really the only Weasley sibling who intimidated the twins, and she went for flies alone on her own broom, and when she fell, she would just stand up and dust herself off.
She had not just matured mentally, either. She had always been a cute little kid, and now she was a beautiful young woman. At the wedding, all of the teenage boys on Fleur's side of the family (and, disturbingly enough, even a few on their own side) had stared at Ginny with lust in their eyes. It was sick to think of his baby sister as sexy, and the fact that boys and men looked at her that way made him want to start taking names.
Ginny was chatting away now with Fred. Charlie watched as she picked up a plate of flatcakes and absentmindedly put one on Harry's plate, and Harry refilled her now-empty glass with pumpkin juice. They smiled at each other, and Charlie marvelled at the way they were so in sync with one another. The only two people he'd ever seen work that way before were his parents, and even that was rare.
George told an off-color joke and through the laughter, some of the pumpkin juice Harry was drinking dribbled down his front. Though Ginny was turned the other way, talking to Hermione, she picked up a napkin and turned back to Harry. She leaned closer to him and wiped his shirt, and because she was still wearing her summer pajamas, she was probably giving him quite the view down her shirt.
But Charlie noticed that Harry's eyes stayed on her face. And what was more, the look in his eyes was not that of lust. It was love, and in some way, this bothered Charlie more than anything else.
Their relationship wasn't cute or innocent. They were in love. Merlin, how had Charlie missed it before?
They were young – too young – to be feeling the way they obviously did. Most people probably waited their wholes lives for someone they could find love with. And, of course, his poor sister had to find it right away. With Harry Potter, the Chosen One. The boy who, if they were all completely honest with themselves, surely everyone knew would not be around in a year.
He vowed that when this was all over, he would be there to pick up the pieces and glue her back together.
He only hoped that the glue would hold.
……………………………………………………………
Hermione was reading a book on her bed when Ron knocked on the door.
'Um, hey,' he said. She closed her book and waved him in. 'I got kind of bored downstairs ... I mean, I can only annihilate Harry at chess so many times ...'
Hermione smiled. 'He is rather bad at it, isn't he? Even I can beat him now.'
'You can? That is bad,' he teased, sitting down beside her on her bed. 'I like to give him a hard time about it. Since when is Harry bad at something? That's almost as foreign as you being bad at something.'
'I'm bad at a lot of things!' she insisted. 'And Harry is, too. He wasn't exactly top of the class at school.'
'Yeah, but school doesn't count.'
'Honestly, Ron, how we do in life is decided by how well we do in school!' she lectured. 'I've been telling you for six years that you can't slack off because you'll regret it later, and you never seem to listen to me. How do you think –?'
Her voice died away as Ron leaned forward and kissed her. He pulled back a moment later and grinned. 'Looks like I finally found an off-switch for your lecturing,' he declared. 'Now, why didn't I think of that back in fifth year when you were going totally crazy over studying for OWLs?'
Hermione rolled her eyes. 'Because you were too busy being a complete git.'
'Ah, that's true,' he agreed. 'But I cottoned on eventually.'
'It sure took you long enough.'
'Nobody ever said I was smart,' Ron said, smiling.
'I think you're smart,' she insisted.
'No, you don't.'
'Yes, I do! You're very smart.'
'Not as smart as you,' said Ron.
'You're a thousand times better than me at chess,' she said. 'And you're a better fighter.'
'Hmm ... am I?' She nodded. 'I think I like this conversation. What else?'
'You're also better at Quidditch. I couldn't fly a broom to save my life. And you put up with Trelawney all those years, so you're far more patient than I am, which really says something about me, considering you aren't patient at all.'
He chuckled, then leaned in and kissed her again.
They were interrupted, sometime much later, by the sound of Ginny's exaggerating gagging.
'Go away,' Ron said. He moved off of Hermione (when did he end up on top of her?) and looked at his sister. 'I don't bother you when you snog Harry.'
'Harry and I do not snog with the door wide open, nor do we do it in your room,' Ginny said in a singsong voice. 'But since I don't fancy listening to you two all night, I'll just be grabbing my pajamas and going upstairs with Harry.'
'Not something I want to think about,' said Ron.
Ginny shrugged innocently and winked at Hermione. 'Have fun. You might want to consider an Imperturbable, by the way.'
She left, closing the door behind her.
Hermione sat up and checked the clock. It was just past midnight.
'Should I go?' Ron asked softly.
Hermione shook her head. 'I – well, Ginny's going to be in your room, so where would you stay?'
'It doesn't matter,' he said. 'I could go up to Bill's room. Or –'
'Ron,' Hermione said. 'I want you to stay.'
She fought to contain her smile when she saw him swallow hard.
'I just – um – I've been meaning to ask –' she began, wishing she could skip the question, but knowing that she'd go crazy later if she didn't get an answer.
'Yeah?'
'Lavender,' she said. Ron sighed. 'I don't mean to bring her up again. I just want to know – what you did with her.'
'What d'you mean?' he asked, though she was fairly certain he knew exactly what she meant.
'I know you did more than snog her,' Hermione said. 'But I want to know how much more.'
Ron's eyes widened. 'I – hardly anything!' he said. 'I mean, I ... I touched her, um, chest ... a couple times ... but nothing else. I swear.'
Hermione let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. That was exactly what she'd wanted to hear. Well, maybe she would've preferred him to say that they hadn't done anything other than snog, but she knew that he would be lying, and she didn't want that, did she? Besides, it wasn't as though McLaggen hadn't touched her chest, as well. Though, she hadn't exactly given him permission to. He'd sort of just done it at Slughorn's Christmas party.
'She wanted to do other stuff,' he said awkwardly. 'But ... I couldn't. She ... she wasn't ... you.'
Hermione beamed, then reached for her wand.
'What're you doing with that?' he asked.
'I'm going to Imperturbable the room, like Ginny said to,' she said. 'Unless you don't –'
'No,' Ron said quickly. 'I definitely do.'
'Okay, then,' she said, and cast the spell.
'Brilliant,' he said.
……………………………………………………………
It was late at night, and Charlie was too tired to be bothered to Apparate back to his flat in Romania. As he climbed the stairs to his old bedroom, he passed by Ginny's room, and saw a faint blue glow under the doorway. He felt his jaw clench. Why did his sister's bedroom need to be Imperturbabled? She was only sleeping, after all.
He knew, realistically, what the real reason behind an Imperturbable was. After all, he'd used a few in the past. But he also knew that his sister had no business needing one.
There was nothing he could do at the moment. He made a mental note to wake up early and wait for her to lower the Charm, so he could barge in immediately and catch his sister and Harry Potter red-handed.
As he kept on his way up to his room, it occurred to him that Ginny shared a room with Hermione. Although he couldn't imagine Hermione needing an Imperturbable, he much preferred that to Ginny. He was well aware of the double-standard that existed – if it turned out that Ron was in there with Hermione, Charlie would probably laugh and forget about it, but if it was Harry in there with Ginny, he would go ballistic. Still, he couldn't be bothered to care about how unfair he was.
But if Hermione was with Ron, that meant that Ginny was sleeping somewhere else, anyway. Charlie went up to Ron's room and saw that the door was closed but the room didn't appear to be charmed.
He went down into his own room and grabbed his Invisibility Cloak. Yes, Harry Potter wasn't the only one with that handy little instrument. Wearing the Cloak, he went back up to Ron's room and pushed open the door. He found Ginny there, lying in Harry's bed with her back pressed against his chest. He stepped into the room and shut the door behind him.
The twinge of annoyance he'd felt earlier grew into something larger, and he was a second away from waking Ginny up, sending her to sleep in his bedroom and parking himself in Ron's bed just to make sure she didn't try to sneak back, when Harry shifted. His arm wrapped around Ginny seemingly on instinct, and then he opened an eye.
'What're you doing here?' he asked.
Charlie didn't think Ginny would answer, as she appeared to be asleep. He was surprised when she said, 'Ron's downstairs with Hermione. I don't even want to think about all the nasty things they're doing in my bedroom.'
Harry laughed. 'You've got the dirtiest mind out of anyone I know,' he said. 'How d'you know they're not just sleeping like us?'
'Oh, so we're sleeping, are we?' she asked, sounding dejected.
'Yeah,' said Harry. 'Why? Got a better idea?'
'I can think of one or two things,' Ginny – Charlie's baby sister – said. She shifted backward against him and he groaned.
'Your parents are just downstairs,' he said.
'My parents have never stopped you before.'
'No, your parents have always stopped me before,' he said. 'They've just never stopped you, and ... fuck, Ginny, I'm only human.'
Ginny smirked but said nothing.
Charlie held his breath and tried not to shift too loudly on his feet, hoping they would fall asleep soon so he could open the door and sneak out. As much as he wanted to pull off the Cloak now and throw a huge fit, he knew that Ginny would make the rest of his life a living hell if he did. He had long since missed his chance to make his presence known, and if he was discovered now, he would be flayed alive for "spying". But was it really spying if your intentions were honourable? Though he felt certain he had every right to know all of her personal business, Charlie knew that his sister would feel differently, and she was not someone he wanted to go toe-to-toe with when angry.
'I think your brother hates me,' Harry said after a moment of total silence.
'My brother? There are six. You'll have to be a bit more specific than that,' said Ginny.
'Yeah,' Harry said. 'Charlie. He hates me.'
'What?' asked Ginny. 'Why do you think that?'
'Dunno ... haven't you seen the looks he's been giving me all week?'
'No, I haven't,' she said. 'Because I would've given him hell if I had. He – he's always been really protective of me. I guess he's just not ready to accept that I'm not a little girl, that none of my big brothers are the most important male in my life anymore.'
'Hmm.'
'You're not scared of Charlie, are you?'
'There are quite a few things that I'm scared of,' said Harry, 'but Charlie isn't one of them.'
'Oh? So what are you afraid of?'
'I – don't know,' he said stupidly.
'Harry,' Ginny said pointedly. 'This is me. You can tell me the truth.'
Harry paused for a moment. 'I – well – I'm not scared of dying. I'm not,' he said. 'I know that I – well, I just – I think I'm okay, y'know, knowing that it's going to happen –'
'It's not going to happen!'
'Gin –'
'Shut up.' She kicked the blankets off of herself and stood up.
'Ginny,' he repeated, sitting up behind her and grabbing her wrist softly.
Ginny stopped but didn't turn back to him, and Charlie fought to hold in his sigh of relief. If she hadn't stopped, she would've plowed right into him and completely given him away. That was the least of his concerns at the moment, though. He was thoroughly interested in where this conversation was going. And upon seeing Ginny's expression, he found himself wondering if they hadn't had this conversation before.
'I can't imagine not seeing you everyday. I can't – I can't even stand the thought of it. And you talk about it like you've already made your peace with it. Like you aren't even going to try to stay with me. Hell, Harry, don't you want to live? You don't act like it.'
'That's not fair,' he said sharply.
'None of this is fair,' she said, shaking her head.
'You don't think I know that?'
She closed her eyes tightly.
'I just – I just want you to be okay,' he whispered. 'If I – when I'm gone.'
'Why are you doing this?' she sobbed.
Charlie felt his stomach churn. While he was glad to know that Harry was thinking realistic about everything, and trying to get Ginny to do the same, Charlie was going to have to seriously hurt Harry for making her cry like this.
'Because,' he ground out. 'If I – if it happens, you need to be prepared. I – that's what scares me. That once this over, you'll be drowning and I won't be around to save you. That's the only thing I worry about.' He rested his chin on the top of her head and closed his eyes.
'I refuse to let you go,' she whispered, and he wrapped his arms around her.
'I don't think it's that easy,' he told her.
Ginny turned back to face him and whispered something that Charlie didn't hear. He saw the way Harry's features sharpened, the way the air around him suddenly seemed so much darker, and the person he was looking at wasn't Harry any longer, it was a man who was going to do evil, awful things in an attempt to save the world – or, more aptly, to just save Ginny, his world.
No longer caring if he was detected, just knowing that he needed to get out of there, Charlie opened the door. Once he was in the hallway, he pulled the Invisibility Cloak off of him and Apparated home to Romania.
……………………………………………………………
'Everything all right, Harry?' Lupin asked the next day.
'Yeah,' said Harry, but he really meant no. Of course something was wrong. Why else would he have Floo'd to Headquarters for no reason?
Lupin sat down across from him at the kitchen table. 'You know, for a Marauder's son, you can be a terrible liar.'
Harry sighed, but cracked a smile. 'I just – it's Ginny,' he admitted.
'Did you two have an argument?'
He shook his head. 'No. I don't even know. Last night, we –'
'Oh, this isn't one of those problems, is it?' Lupin asked, wearing a large smirk.
'No,' he said, feeling himself blush. 'We were talking about the war and ... Merlin, I just really have to figure out a way to keep her away from everything that's going to happen.'
'Why do you need to do that?' Lupin asked.
'Because,' Harry said.
Wherever you end up, he remembered her whispering, just wait for me. Because I'll follow you anywhere.
'You know,' said Lupin, 'I remember your father having the same problem with your mother.'
Harry felt his insides jump at the mention of his parents. 'So what did he do?'
'Well, actually, he did nothing,' said Lupin. 'James was smart enough to realize that nothing he could do would stop Lily from fighting in the war, and so he let her. I mean, he didn't let her. She would have regardless. But it was definitely easier on their relationship when he saw reason and stopped fighting her on it.'
'Yeah,' he said after a moment. 'And look at how they ended up.' He shook his head. 'That's not going to be Ginny.'
'It might have to be,' Lupin said softly, looking Harry in the eye. 'Lily – Lily was a beautiful person. A wonderful friend. A terrific fighter. But your mother had to die for you. If she didn't, I don't even want to think of what the world would be like right now.'
'It's two completely different situations,' Harry argued. 'Enough people have already died to protect me. My parents, Sirius, Dumbledore ... It's my fault they're all dead. And I can't be responsible for Ginny's death, too.'
'It's Voldemort's fault,' Lupin said fiercely. 'He killed your parents. He had his followers kill the others. Your safety was the most important thing to all of them. They chose to die, to protect you. And I promise you that they're all happy with their choices, wherever they are.'
'Sirius didn't have to die,' Harry said, closing his eyes briefly. 'That was my fault.'
'You made a mistake. Everyone makes them.'
'Most people's mistakes don't get other people killed.'
'You're not most people,' Lupin said. 'And Ginny isn't, either. She's a capable witch, Harry.'
'I know that,' said Harry. 'But she's also the number one target because of me. If anything ever happened to her, I couldn't take that.'
'You love her?'
'More than anything,' Harry said, absolutely unembarrassed. Why should he feel embarrassed?
'Then you'll let her do what she wants.'
'It's not that simple –'
'It is,' Lupin argued. 'I see a lot of your mother in Ginny. Lily was never one to sit on the sidelines while James went out and fought. She was always right there with your dad. Saved his neck more times than I can count.'
'And he was okay with that?'
'He had to be,' Lupin said. 'Lily was ... fierce. That was what James loved most about her.' Lupin sighed. 'You have to understand. Back then, we'd always figured that if we died, it would be in battle. But your parents, like so many other Order members, were hunted down and killed personally by Voldemort.'
Harry swallowed thickly.
'My point,' said Lupin, 'is that you just never know. If you force Ginny to stay behind and not fight, you're changing her. And maybe she'll be alive when this is all over, but she won't be the girl you fell in love with. Do you really want that?'
'I – I just want her to live. Nothing else matters. If I could go back and never get involved with her ... I would, if it would keep her safe.'
'Would you have wanted your father to go back in time and not be with your mother?'
Harry paused. 'That's different.'
'They were only together for a few years, but they made the most of it. They were happier than most people are throughout their entire lives. And if it had been me, I wouldn't have wanted to trade that for anything.'
Harry sighed and put his head in his hands. 'I hate not knowing how this is going to end. I hate that so many people have died, and that so many are still going to. I wish I could just find these bloody Horcruxes already and be done with it.'
'Now,' Lupin said, 'try not to get your hopes up, but we think we might have a lead on another one.'
Harry immediately sat up straighter. 'What? Where? Who found it? Do you know which one it is?'
'Minerva brought Dumbledore's Pensieve here yesterday evening. Tonks and I spent this morning reviewing the memories he'd showed you during your sessions, and she thinks that the orphanage might be a location worth checking out.'
'That's ... great!' Harry said, feeling his mood lighten significantly at the prospect of potentially finding and destroying another Horcrux. A second thought came crashing down on him, though, and he felt his stomach sink when he realized that he, Ron and Hermione would need to leave soon, in order to destroy this Horcrux alone. That meant leaving Ginny, and after the discussion they'd had last night, he didn't think she would be horribly willing to let him go.
'What is it?' Lupin asked, apparently noticing how Harry's face fell.
'Nothing,' he lied. 'I just remembered that I forgot to do something ... I should probably be getting back to The Burrow.'
Lupin nodded. They stood from the table.
'Um, should I tell the Weasleys, or will there be an Order meeting about this?' asked Harry.
'We'll probably hold a meeting in the next few days, once Tonks and I have been able to find out a little more about the location,' said Lupin. 'But feel free to tell any of the Weasleys. And Hermione, of course.'
Harry nodded, say goodbye, and then Floo'd back to The Burrow to tell Ron and Hermione the news.
……………………………………………………………
'The orphanage?' Ron repeated. Hermione leaned forward, listening intently.
Harry nodded. 'That's what Lupin said,' he told them. 'But it's a Muggle orphanage, so any information we'd get on it would have to be from Muggle books.'
'I'll owl my mum and ask her to check the library,' Hermione offered.
'Great,' said Harry. 'All I really know is that it was an orphanage in London. It was definitely running during the late 1920s and all of the 1930s, because that's when Tom Riddle was staying there. But how many orphanages in London can there be, really?'
'Only one way to find out,' Ron said with a shrug. 'You think your mum will find what we need?'
'Surely she'll be able to come up with something,' said Hermione. 'Can I borrow Hedwig?'
Harry nodded and crossed his fingers, hoping that Mrs Granger would be able to find exactly what they needed.
……………………………………………………………
Two days later, Hedwig returned during breakfast with a large package from Mrs Granger. Hermione downplayed it in front of the Weasleys, saying her mum had probably just sent her a few things from her bedroom at home, but her heart was already beating faster as she sat the package on the floor beside her chair. It felt heavy enough to contain at least one book, and she hoped that her mother had come through and obtained the right information.
She struggled to eat breakfast at a normal pace, wanting nothing more than to devour her meal in three bites and run upstairs, where she would wake Ron and open the box. Harry was already training at Hogwarts, but Ron wasn't due to go for another few hours, and so she could at least look at the contents of the package with him. Ron could tell Harry all about it as they trained.
She finished her food slowly and then lingered for a moment more before going upstairs. She could tell that Ginny sensed something was up, but Hermione wasn't going to tell her. Harry had not told Ginny the details yet, and as far as she knew, he was not going to. Or perhaps he was planning on telling her just as soon as Hermione's mum got back to them. Regardless of his plan, Hermione knew that Ginny wasn't going to hear a word from her until she could know for sure how much she was allowed to disclose.
'Ron,' she said, nudging him awake.
'What d'you want?' he mumbled, not opening his eyes.
'Get up.'
'Why?'
'I received a package from my mother,' she said. 'I'm opening it. I just thought you'd want to be awake when I did.'
He groaned and sat up. 'Okay, let's have it, then.'
She set the box down on his bed and opened it. Slapping his hand away when he reached for the topmost book, Hermione grabbed the note that was attached and began to read.
Dear Hermione,
I searched the library for hours, but I'm afraid I couldn't find very many references to a London orphanage operating during the years you listed. I managed to find two references that I think best suited your descriptions, and this box contains the two separate books that I found them in. Page 159, paragraph 5 in the first book, and page 308, paragraph 16 in the second book.
I checked the location out on the Internet as well. I found several newspaper articles on the building, and I have attached one of them to the back of this letter. I'm going to suggest taking a look at the article before the books.
I don't know what you needed this information for, but I sincerely hope that I was of some help to you. I have also included 250 pounds in this package. Hermione, I don't know what you're about to do, but I'm willing to bet that it is going to be dangerous. Please be safe. Your father and I love you very, very much. Give our best to Ron, Harry, and the rest of the Weasleys.
All my love,
Mum.
'Well?' asked Ron.
Hermione turned the letter over and gasped as she took in the title of the newspaper article.
'What's that?' Ron asked, moving closer and reading it for himself.
'An article my mum found ... about the orphanage.'
'About the orphanage?' he repeated. 'But – shite. This says it burned down.'
'Yes,' Hermione said softly. 'And look at the date of the article.'
'1945,' Ron read aloud. He looked up, and their eyes met. 'So?'
'So,' said Hermione, 'we've just found our Horcrux location.'
……………………………………………………………
Please forgive my terrible lateness. I've been in a horrible mood lately, for reasons I will not bore you with, and every time I sat down to write this chapter, it ended with Harry dying. And when I would give myself a shake and try again, Ginny was the one dying. Since neither was incredibly convenient for this chapter, I decided to put the writing on hold for a while.
Review, and don't forget to check out my newest one-shot, Left Behind.