Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

For Katherine. 02.01.06 – we miss you like it was yesterday.

Chapter Forty-Seven: The Letter
……………………………………………………………

Ginny awoke exactly eight hours after she'd gone to bed, feeling refreshed but unsettled. She couldn't remember having any nightmares, but she frowned just the same, knowing that she'd had a dream about Harry and that it hadn't been good. She couldn't remember any of the details … but something wasn't right. And why did she get the awful feeling that something bad had happened here last night?

She wanted to ask Hermione if she felt something too, but judging by the sound of water running through the pipes overhead, Hermione was currently in the shower.

Shaking off all negative feelings, she dressed and went downstairs. The Burrow was decorated for the Christmas season, and nothing put Ginny in a better mood than seeing the mistletoe hanging in the kitchen doorway. She'd have to remember to get Harry under there later.

'Good morning,' she said brightly, coming into the kitchen.

'Someone's in a good mood,' Mr Weasley remarked, not looking up from his copy of the Daily Prophet.

'Yeah,' said George. 'Since when are you a morning person?'

'Leave her alone, boys,' lectured Mrs Weasley. 'I think it's lovely. Good morning, dear.'

'So tell us, Gin. What did you do last night that's put you in such high spirits?' Fred asked, raising his eyebrows in a rather suggestive manner.

'Does it have anything to do with why Harry's so bloody tired this morning?' asked George.

Ginny felt her cheeks heat at the look her mum shot her.

'Only joking, of course,' George continued. 'Don't worry, Mum. Why, I bet Harry and Ginny – '

'Mum!' Ginny whined. Why did her brothers always have to pick on her and Harry?

'Leave your sister alone,' Mrs Weasley said automatically, and Ginny thought it was somewhat sad that telling the boys to leave her alone was just a reflex by now.

'Don't you have anything to say about this?' Ginny asked Ron.

'And what would you like me to say?' Ron said, his mouth full.

'Yeah,' said Fred. 'I bet his girlfriend would rather read a book than shag him, anyway.'

Mr Weasley let out a snort from behind his paper.

Ron's ears turned red and he slammed his fork down onto the table.

'All right, all right,' said Mrs Weasley, looking at her husband disapprovingly. 'This is certainly not talk for the breakfast table. Honestly, I don't know where you boys learned this. I swear that I tried to teach you lot manners. Goodness only knows where they've gone …' She sighed. 'You boys can clear the table when everyone's finished.'

'We've got to get to the shop!' said George.

'You should have thought of that before you starting giving your sister a hard time for nothing.'

'My arse,' Fred grumbled.

'What was that?' Mrs Weasley demanded.

'Nothing,' he said quickly, and then dropped his eyes to his plate.

'Good morning,' Hermione said cheerfully, entering the kitchen and kissing Ron's cheek, earning a snigger from Fred.

'What's with you birds this morning?' George mumbled. 'Did some sort of Cheering Charm get shot around your room during the night, Gin?'

Ginny rolled her eyes and dove into her breakfast. She really was starving. And if Harry didn't come down soon, she was going to eat his food too. Speaking of Harry – where was he? She glanced at the clock and frowned. 'Harry's really not up yet?' she wondered aloud.

'That git?' said Ron. 'Bloody miserable this morning. Nearly bit my head off because I asked him if he was coming down to breakfast or not.'

Ginny frowned. That really wasn't like Harry. He was hardly a morning person, and he often snapped at Ron, but something about what her brother said sounded off. Perhaps Harry wasn't feeling well?

'I passed him on my way down. He was headed for the shower and he looked … a little worse for wear.'

Everyone, even Mr Weasley, glanced in Ginny's direction this time.

Ginny rolled her eyes and stood. 'Filthy perverts,' she muttered. 'I'm going to go check on him. And I'm leaving my plate here especially for you, George.'

'Lovely,' George grumbled as she left the room.

When she made it up to Ron's bedroom, she found Harry's bed empty. She knew that he was still in the shower, but she really wanted to talk with him. Something about this entire day wasn't right. And surely he could sense it too. What else could explain his absence at breakfast and shortness with Ron? His wall was up, and even after several polite but insistent attempts to have him lower it, it remained intact.

She sat on his bed for a long time. Longer than it should have taken Harry to shower. She wished she knew how to Apparate. She'd just pop herself down there and bust in on him. She smiled at the thought and stored that idea away for a day that she was able to do just that.

'It's about time, Potter,' she said when he finally entered his room. 'I've been waiting for you.'

'Oh,' was all he said.

Okay, she thought. Maybe a different approach will work better. 'You didn't come down to breakfast.'

'Nope,' he said. He closed the door and lost the towel he'd tied around his waist. She averted her eyes as he dressed, even though she didn't really have to, because it felt more like looking at a stranger than her Harry just then.

'Is everything all right?' she asked.

'Yeah.'

'Are you sick?'

'No.'

'Are you capable of saying more than one word at a time?' she said, raising her voice in frustration.

He looked up at her and shrugged.

'Dunno.'

She didn't smile, but judging by his reaction, she didn't think he'd really expected her to.

'You're being a real arse right now,' she said. 'For no bloody reason.'

'Sorry,' he said, but his voice went up slightly at the end, as if it was more of a question than an apology.

'What's going on with you?'

'Nothing,' he said. She was about to absolutely lose it on him when he decided it was in his best interests to say more. 'Bad sleep. Missed you last night.'

'Yeah?' she said, and she hated the smile that crept onto her face.

'It's very cold without such a hot body wrapped around me.'

'Well.'

He looked sideways at her. 'What's with all the one-word answers?' he teased, and there was a smile on his face for the first time all morning.

'Dunno,' she said, smirking at him.

'You're being a real arse right now,' he said in a high-pitched voice that she assumed was supposed to be her own.

'Maybe you should come over here and discipline me.'

'You'd like it too much.'

She smiled innocently. He sat down on the bed beside her and kissed her. It started off soft and slow, but quickly turned into something more. When Harry's hand made contact with the flesh of her stomach, it burned. She gasped against his mouth and he clearly misunderstood what it meant. He dragged his lips to her neck and moved his hands higher.

'Stop,' she said. He didn't. 'Harry, stop.' Her skin felt like it was on fire. She tried to move away from him, but there was nowhere to go. What the hell was he doing? 'Stop!'

Something finally seemed to click in Harry's head. That, combined with Ginny kneeing him in the stomach, got him to roll off of her.

'What the hell was that?' she cried, jumping off the bed and glaring down at him.

'Ginny,' he gasped, his hands over his face. 'Wow. Wow. I'm sorry. I don't – I don't know –'

Her skin throbbed. She lifted up her shirt and gasped at the sight of her red, raw flesh. 'What …' she said. 'What did you do?'

'I'm sorry,' he repeated.

'Harry – look at me.'

Harry looked at her and cursed. 'Did I do that?' he asked guiltily, moving toward her. She felt her heart beat faster in fear. Could he really do something like this without realizing? Or – or what he known all along?

She immediately hated herself for even thinking that. Of course he hadn't known. Why would he intentionally do something like that?

He reached out to touch her skin, and she took a fearful step back. What if it hurt again? His face fell. 'I had no idea I was doing it,' he said firmly, his eyes big and worried. 'I – I know I was short with you before … but you do know that I wouldn't …?'

'Of course you wouldn't,' she said. She wondered if her voice sounded sincere enough. Did he believe her? Did she believe herself?

'I can heal it for you,' he offered. Truthfully, she wasn't sure if she wanted to feel his hands on her right then. She didn't want to leave for fear of upsetting him, but she thought she was going to be sick if she stayed there any longer. The room felt like it was spinning.

'I –' she choked out, and then shook her head. 'Maybe we should go to McGonagall.'

'Why?' asked Harry. 'I can do it. It's just a small healing spell.'

'Don't you want to know what caused it?'

'You think McGonagall will know?' he questioned. 'If I can't figure out how to control it, how is she supposed to be able to?'

'I don't know,' said Ginny. 'But …you hurt me. Doesn't that … concern you? Even a little bit?'

'I said I was sorry,' he whispered.

'I know that you are,' she insisted. 'But …'

(But you didn't stop.)

'I would feel better if we went to McGonagall. Or even Lupin. Just someone who knows what they're doing.'

Harry appeared to be waging a war inside himself, between his guilt for hurting her and his anger that she didn't seem horribly forgiving even though he'd apologized and apologized. 'Fine,' he said, his guilt winning over.

……………………………………………………………

'And where do you two think you're going?' demanded Mrs Weasley.

Harry and Ginny stopped dead in front of the fireplace. 'We're just going to Headquarters for a bit,' said Ginny.

'We need to ask Remus something,' added Harry.

'He's coming over later,' said Mrs Weasley. 'Surely it can wait.'

'Mum,' said Ginny. 'We're perfectly capable of Flooing to Headquarters. What could happen?'

Mrs Weasley looked as though she could name a hundred different things. 'I don't think this is up for debate, young lady.'

'Relax, Mum,' said Charlie, coming up behind her. Harry bit his lip. There really was something about Charlie that he didn't particularly like. Perhaps it was Charlie's blatant dislike for Harry and Ginny's relationship. 'I'll take them.'

Mrs Weasley turned to regard Charlie. 'Well,' she said. 'I suppose it would be all right if you went with them …'

'What!' said Ginny.

Harry didn't know what to say. If Charlie came with them, he'd obviously expect a full explanation for why they had to go see Remus in the first place. And telling him that Harry had hurt Ginny would not be smart if Harry wanted to live past Christmas.

'Really,' said Harry, 'we'll only be a few minutes … it's no big deal.'

'Then it's no big deal if I come,' Charlie challenged.

Harry shrugged in defeat. 'No,' he said. 'I guess it's not.'

Ginny shot him a look, but what could he do?

They went to Headquarters with Harry holding his breath, hoping for a way to distract Charlie so he and Ginny could talk to Remus in private.

Remus was the first to look up. His eyes met Harry's, and Harry could feel that there was something different between them now. 'Harry,' he said. Whatever he intended on saying next was lost when he spotted Ginny behind him. 'Ginny, hello. And Charlie. What brings you all here?'

A tall woman with lime green hair turned away from her conversation with Tonks. 'Charlie?' she said. Her accent was thick, and Harry thought he recognized it from somewhere.

'Cassi?' said Charlie. Harry remembered her now – she was part of the Order in Romania. 'What're you doing here?'

'I 'ave come to viseet Tonks,' Cassi explained. 'We 'ave many theengs to discuss.' She smiled and changed her hair to dark purple. 'Zis is better, no?'

Charlie grinned in a way Harry had never seen before. Ginny caught his eye and raised an eyebrow. Harry merely shrugged and looked back at Cassi – just the distraction he'd been looking for.

'And you 'ave brought 'Arry!'

Before he could brace himself, Cassi had flung herself past Charlie and over to him. She kissed both of his cheeks (though her lips landed dangerously close to his own both times) and when she pulled away from him, he saw that both Weasleys were glaring in their direction.

'And you,' Cassi said, ignoring the look on Ginny's face. 'You must be Geenevra!'

Ginny looked somewhat taken aback at the use of her full name. 'Er – yeah, that's me. And … who are you?'

'Cassibellaunus Predoviciu,' she said.

'That's quite a mouthful,' said Ginny, folding her arms across herself.

'Call me Cassi.'

'And call me Ginny.'

'Charlie 'as told me so much about you, Geeny,' Cassi said.

And Ginny, to her credit, nodded politely. 'How lovely.'

Cassi turned back to Charlie. Harry, sensing the moment was upon him, looked at Remus. 'Can Ginny and I talk to you?' he said. 'In private?'

Remus nodded and the three made their way out of the kitchen.

'I'll come too,' said Charlie.

'Why don't you stay here with Cassibacknuts?' Ginny said sweetly.

'You had better be nice to her,' Charlie said sternly, lowering his voice to keep Cassi from hearing.

'And you had better keep her off my boyfriend,' she countered.

'Why? Trust issues?' asked Charlie. He glanced at Harry, who glared at him.

He's lucky he's a Weasley, Harry thought. If he wasn't, I would punch his bloody face in.

Ginny rolled her eyes and followed Remus into the other room. Harry locked his gaze onto Charlie's, and there was an understanding between them that Charlie was going to do his best to keep Harry away from his sister, and Harry was going to seriously harm Charlie if he so much as tried.

'So,' Remus said when they were alone. 'What can I help you two with?'

'There's … we have a slight problem,' said Ginny. 'We were hoping you could solve it for us.' She looked at Harry.

'We were, you know … kissing earlier,' he said. 'And my hands burned her skin.'

Remus raised his eyebrows. 'Burned her skin?' He looked at Ginny. 'Can you show me?'

Ginny blushed and lifted up her shirt. Harry nearly winced at the sight. The normally smooth flesh of her stomach was nearly raw.

'Could you heal it?' she asked. 'Harry said he could but – I just wanted to show you first.'

Harry really doubted that was why she wouldn't let him heal it. He suspected the real reason was that she didn't want him touching her again. But it hadn't been his fault! He would never – could never – hurt Ginny. Not intentionally, anyway. He'd probably indirectly hurt her a million times. But even that killed him inside.

'Sure,' Remus said. He pulled out his wand and muttered the spell. Ginny rubbed her stomach and smiled.

'Thanks. We, er, don't know how it happened,' she said. 'I mean, Harry obviously wasn't trying to do it …'

'Of course not,' said Remus. He looked at Harry. 'Any ideas?'

'If I knew,' he said, 'we wouldn't be here.'

'Well,' said Remus. 'I'm certainly not an expert when it comes to Wandless Magic. But I'd guess that you've – understandably – had a lot on your mind this morning and all that extra emotional energy released itself in, er, negative ways.'

Harry nodded. Ginny gave him a strange look.

'And just what have you got on your mind this morning?'

Harry ignored her. 'Thanks for your help. We'd better get back to The Burrow before Mrs Weasley comes over here to make sure we haven't died,' he said simply – quickly – before Remus had another chance to bring up the previous night.

'Right,' said Remus. His eyes showed that he disapproved of not telling Ginny the truth, but he also seemed to know that it wasn't his decision to make. 'I'll see you both later tonight then.'

'Harry,' Ginny said. 'I asked you a question.'

'What?' he asked. He should have known by now that playing stupid never worked with her.

'What did you have on your mind this morning?'

'Nothing important,' he said, making his way over to the fireplace. Charlie was wrapped up in conversation with Cassi and didn't seem to realize that anyone else was even in the room.

'Well, it was important enough to burn me.'

Harry sighed. 'That wasn't my fault,' he said. Even though it probably was.

'I know,' she said.

'Do you?'

'Of course,' she said. 'But I can tell you're keeping something from me. And … I deserve to know what the hell is going on.'

'There are some things,' he said, 'that I just can't tell you about. That I just won't tell you about.'

He went back to The Burrow then, knowing that she would continue to bother him, but also knowing that his resolve would not crumble like it usually did.

If he could help it, he would never tell her. Ginny didn't need to know. Nobody outside of himself and Remus needed to know. He and Ginny had already been through a trying couple months, and he suspected that her finding out what he'd done would have detrimental consequences to their relationship.

It wasn't that he was ashamed. Because he wasn't. He'd had reasons – valid reasons – for doing what he'd done. But he knew that nobody else would understand. He'd done the right thing. And he really didn't feel like putting up with anyone who was willing to say otherwise.

He'd sat up most of the night thinking about what had happened, and he knew that he didn't regret it. He couldn't. Wormtail had sold out his parents. He was the one who had tipped off Voldemort. If he hadn't done it –

Everything would be different.

Literally everything.

Harry would have parents. He wouldn't have grown up with nothing but a few pathetic pictures to reference every time he forgot the exact shade of his mum's hair or his dad's eyes.

And Sirius would still be alive. His parents would have their best friend. Harry would have a godfather, someone to go to when he needed advice about girls or pranks.

Would Sirius have had a son of his own? Or Remus? Would there have been a whole other generation of Marauders to cause trouble at Hogwarts? Had that been the plan – before everything had gone to pieces around them?

Wormtail was the reason Harry had spent ten years of his life locked up in a cupboard under his aunt's stairs. He was the reason Harry would never meet his parents. He was the reason Harry would never get to celebrate a successful prank with another of the Marauders' sons.

If Peter Pettigrew hadn't done what he'd done …

Harry couldn't even think about it anymore.

The fact that Wormtail had been walking around – breathing – as if nothing had ever happened … it was something that had been eating away at him since third year.

If he hadn't stopped Sirius from killing Pettigrew when he'd wanted to … If he hadn't given him the chance to escape … If he hadn't been such a fucking idiot … Wormtail would have been taken care of a long time ago.

Sirius could have died knowing that he'd avenged his best friends.

Instead, Harry avenged Sirius. And his parents. And Remus. And even himself.

He could never feel sorry for what he'd done because, to him, Wormtail had been living the last sixteen years on borrowed time anyway.

……………………………………………………………

A week later, Ginny was drifting off to sleep when she heard it. Tap. Tap.

Hermione was the first to realize what it was. 'Oh,' she said. 'There's an owl at the window.'

'Let it in,' said Ginny. She didn't recognize it, and so she assumed it wasn't for her. Perhaps it was for one of her brothers, but nobody had answered at their windows.

But when the window opened, it flew straight past Hermione and went to her.

'This letter for me?' she asked the owl, who hooted in response.

'Whose owl is that?' inquired Hermione.

'Dunno,' Ginny said. She untied the piece of parchment from the bird's leg. She patted its head and it bit her fingers. 'Ouch. Unfriendly little bugger, aren't you?' The owl hooted disagreeably and flew off. 'Wait! Don't you need my reply?' But the owl was gone.

Ginny rolled her eyes and unrolled the parchment.

The Quidditch stands.

Noon tomorrow.

Ginny recognized the scrawl. It was the same handwriting that she'd found on her graded Potions essays from first to fourth year.

'Who's it from?' asked Hermione.

'Um – Luna,' she said quickly.

'No wonder the bird was so spotty. Look at its owner.'

Ginny smiled faintly, the parchment feeling thick between her fingers.

'So what does she have to say?'

'Not a lot,' said Ginny. 'Just that she's doing well and that she misses us. She hopes to see us soon.'

'I doubt she'll be seeing us anytime soon,' said Hermione. 'Is she expecting a reply?'

'Er, no,' said Ginny. 'She's just replying to a letter I sent her.' She faked a yawn. 'Right. Well. I'm off to bed. Close that window, would you? Goodnight.'

……………………………………………………………

'Can I go to Hogwarts?' Ginny asked her mum the next morning.

Mrs Weasley blinked. 'Why do you need to go there?'

'Harry's there,' she said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

'And?'

'I'd like to see him.'

'See him when he gets home, then,' she said.

She sighed. That wasn't going to work. 'Okay. That's not the real reason why I want to go.'

'Then what is?'

'Well … I want to borrow some books … you know … since I technically should be in school right now. Just because Hogwarts is closed doesn't mean I should let my brain rot, does it?'

Mrs Weasley smiled at her. 'You must really need to see Harry if you're willing to make up a lie like that,' she said.

Ginny blushed. 'I'll be very quick. I promise.'

'All right. Go if you must. But try to be home in time for lunch.'

Her heart started beating faster in her chest. 'Really? I can go? And I don't need to bring Charlie or anything silly like that?'

'Is there a reason why you should?'

She shook her head. 'Of course not. I'll be with Harry and McGonagall. It doesn't get safer than that, you know.'

She left then, knowing that she wouldn't be able to go through with this if she looked at her poor mum a second longer.

She shivered as she walked through Hogwarts. It was hard to remember a time that students and laughter filled these corridors. It seemed like it had been abandoned for years. But she could close her eyes and remember shuffling past these exact portraits on her way to her next class. She could recall running through here, trying to get to the Common Room before curfew was over. And the way her heart used to jump into her throat every time she and Harry roamed the castle in search of a deserted classroom.

Her footsteps echoed and she knew better than to worry that someone would catch her. This wasn't the same as sneaking down to the kitchens after hours with Harry. The only two people in the building were both too busy to notice her.

She passed by the Great Hall and could hear them practicing. She wanted to poke her head in, but knew better. If she didn't want to get caught, she couldn't give herself an opportunity to be caught.

Was she really going through with this?

It was awfully cold outside, but the fact that she was breathing in fresh air was sweet enough to make her forget all about the way her teeth chattered. She caught sight of Hagrid's Hut and wondered if he was still occupying it. She'd been to Hogwarts a handful of times since the end of term, but she hadn't seen him once. Harry said he used to have tea with Hagrid when he came to train, but he hadn't mentioned anything in some time.

The pitch seemed bigger than she could remember it. She looked up at the rings, but it was hard to remember a time that she'd been up there on her broom. Had it really only been seven months since Gryffindor had won the Cup? Since Harry had kissed her in front of all those people?

She sat in the stands, just as she had for her first four years at Hogwarts, only this time she was not waiting for a glimpse of Harry on his broom. She kept her wand clenched in her hand and tried to shake off the feeling that she had walked directly into a trap.

'You're late.'

She didn't know where the voice came from, but she was pleased that she hadn't jumped at the sound of it. She didn't need him knowing how nervous she was.

'Sod off. I'm right on time,' she said.

She heard him sigh. 'Don't just sit there like a bumbling idiot. Get under here before someone spots you.'

Ginny finally caught sight of him, underneath the stands. She scrambled to her feet and joined him.

'All right. Why'd you call me here?'

'I have a proposition for you,' he said.

'I don't care,' she said, determined to take control of this meeting. 'Do you have any idea what Harry would do if he found out I was talking to you?'

'Believe me, Weasley. You care about what I have to say.'

Did she? Or were Death Eaters going to jump out at any minute and nab her?

She couldn't decide if she trusted him or not. Why should she?

But then again, what he'd done for her in the past hadn't gotten himself any further ahead in this stupid war. She had no reason not to at least hear him out.

'I'm listening,' she said.

She took a deep breath and tried not to let him see how nervous and vulnerable she was. If there was one thing she knew for certain about Severus Snape, it was that he did not miss an opportunity to make a Gryffindor squirm under pressure.

There are some things that I just can't tell you about either, Harry.

She glanced back at the castle. She wished she hadn't come. But if whatever Snape proposed would help Harry … she was obligated to at least explore this possibility.

……………………………………………………………

Review.