DISCLAIMER: I do not, in any way shape or form, own the characters from Law & Order: SVU. They are created by Dick Wolf and I will forever love him for it. I am using these characters and the basis of this television show purely for entertainment and am not making any form of profit off of the writing of this piece. (AKA: It's not mine. Don't sue. Thanks.)

Fix You

A/N: First and foremost, yet again, thank you for all of the reviews! They are what get me to continue writing….Next, to the person who listened to Fix You by Coldplay and said it was a great song: AMEN! I'm glad I could get someone to listen to it. It's got to be one of my favorite songs EVER.

WARNING: There is sex in this chapter. I tried to keep it as not graphic as possible, seeing as this is T rated, but its there none the less. You'll figure out when it's coming, so just be warned. If you don't like it…don't read.

Without further ado…

Chapter 4: Give Me Novacaine

It had taken a while for the tears to subside, but Elliot and Casey had managed to get Olivia back to the precinct and up to the cribs after the conclusion of the trial. Thankfully, both had been blessed with the assistance of the other members of the Special Victims Unit. The brown haired detective had yet to look at any of her companions. No one knew what to say or how to ease the waterfall of emotions that was finally being released.

Eventually Benson's sobs had come to an end, and her grip on Elliot's hand had loosened. She pulled herself up with the fabric on his dress shirt and nuzzled her head into his chest, taking in his comforting sent and feeling his arms resting comfortably around her. Ashamed, she sniffled once more and looked up into his blue eyes. He smiled down at her and kissed her forehead lovingly.

"This is done," he told her kindly.

"No," Olivia countered. "It's not done."

"Talk to me," Elliot pushed.

Benson let out a deep sigh, "Seeing his face, his hands, his body, it brought the whole thing back. It made it real. This happened, and I can't pretend it didn't."

Stabler searched for the words that could comfort the woman who rested within the confines of his embrace but found none. He pulled her closer to his larger frame in a pathetic attempt to shield her from the world. Slowly, Olivia's eyes drifted shut and she let her own body rest with the knowledge that she would be safe in her partner's secure hold.

Elliot watched her sleep for nearly an hour before anyone entered the crib. At the sound of the door opening, the detective glanced up from the cot in the middle of the room to see ADA Novak looking on in astonishment.

"She's actually sleeping," The prosecutor questioned.

Stabler nodded his head, "We didn't get much rest last night."

Casey nodded as she sat cautiously at the other end of the bed. She watched as Elliot gently rubbed the back of the love of his life and smiled softly as she realized how safe her best friend was with him. Finally, Novak found her voice again and spoke of the plans for the evening, "The guys want to take her out in celebration."

"I don't know if she's up to that," Elliot quickly answered.

"I think we should let her decide," Casey argued. Shaking his head, Stabler readjusted the sleeping figure in his arms. Rolling her eyes, Novak continued speaking, "You can't protect her from everything. Maybe a night with Munch and Fin will do her some good. We'll both be there to stop her before it goes too far."

Elliot mulled the idea over in his head for a few minutes before glancing down to see brown eyes opening in his arms. He smiled reassuringly, ignoring Casey's presence for the time being, and waited for his partner to take the lead.

In good time, the detective pulled her body from his arms and stretched while still sitting on the bed. Quietly, Olivia filled the silence, "How long was I out?"

"About an hour and a half," Elliot answered.

"I was a mess in that courtroom," the brown eyed woman sighed, not expecting an answer.

Casey spoke this time, her voice gentle and reassuring as she addressed Olivia, "That's okay, though. You still faced him. I would have done the exact same thing if I were you."

"Thanks," she sniffled.

"Of course," the blonde smiled kindly. "By the way, Judge Petrovsky sends her regards and wants you to know that she congratulates you on the jury's decision."

Benson glanced at her friend, brown eyes still red and puffy from her earlier tears. "Is that even allowed," she questioned.

"I guess so," was Casey's only response before changing the subject. "Munch and Fin were wondering if the three of us wanted to hit up Mulligan's with them this evening. Drinks are on them."

Trying to influence the decision, Elliot spoke before Olivia ever had a chance to jump in, "You don't have to go if you're not ready, Sweetheart. No one will be upset if you decide to take the night to just hang out at home and rest."

Olivia pulled a sheet around her frail body as she thought for a moment. She desperately wanted to regain a sense of normalcy in her life. Being treated like a breakable object was becoming tedious and she wondered silently if going out to celebrate would be the way to prove her capability of still being a normal person. Weighing the pros and cons of what could happen, she decided that with Elliot and Casey there, she would be fine and it could even be fun. She bit her lower lip and let out a small, hesitant nod of the head. Casey smiled widely, knowing that her friend would hopefully begin healing.

Elliot didn't allow his uncertainty to show through as Olivia made her decision. He didn't want her to drink so much that she lost all sense of self again. Despite the selfishness of his desires, he wanted his girlfriend to be solely his – no matter what. When Olivia drank, she either got angry or flirty. He heard Novak and Benson making small girl talk and allowed himself to study the linens on the cot, losing his mind in contemplation. As he looked up from the sheets he had been staring at, his blue eyes met the brown ones of Benson. She was smiling slightly – the first sign of true happiness in quite a while. Noticing his slightly troubled expression, she began talking to him in a vaguely concerned manner, "Penny for your thoughts?"

He glanced past the brown haired woman to the blonde ADA on the other edge of the bed. Casey, quickly taking the hint from his blue eyes, excused herself. Olivia shook her head slowly, but continued to study Elliot's facial features. She knew something was bothering him, and after the previous two days, she couldn't blame him. Still, it hurt her to know that he was upset.

"I don't want you to get drunk again," he told her after Novak had vacated the room and shut the door.

Olivia nodded in understanding, "I won't."

"You don't know how much that hurt me," Elliot continued. "I love you and only you, but to think that you could kiss another guy – a complete stranger – and think nothing of it the next morning, it scared me. It upset me."

"It won't happen again," she repeated.

"You may say that, and I know that it will take some time to heal, but how do I know that you won't lose control again tonight and kiss another guy. Or worse, how do I know that you won't do something more with a random guy."

A look of pain flashed across the female detective's features as she pulled back from the man she had previously found refuge in. She scooted to the opposite end of the puny mattress and hugged her knees to her chest as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Not again, she pleaded. Memories of their fight earlier that day flashed through her head. Resigning herself to believing that she had ruined his day and his life, she pushed her body away from the bed, dropped the sheet on the floor and began walking to the door.

Olivia rested her hand on the doorknob and her entire body trembled with uncertainty. Turning to look at her supporter again, she silenced him with simple words, "I never intended to hurt you, I just wanted to feel better. I don't remember what happened, but I am sorry. I know I don't deserve you, and you should find better. Don't worry about it, El. I don't want to wound you anymore. I love you, but we need to be done. At least until I can take care of myself because this is unfair to you. It's okay. I understand."

She began to open the door. Elliot jumped up. She was overreacting again and he had to stop her before she did something she would regret later.

"Olivia," he called out. "I didn't mean that. I just needed to talk to someone, to tell them what happened, and you were sitting there. I thought if I just told you how I felt, it would go away. I don't know why," desperation began to fill his voice as she took a step from the room. "Don't just leave."

"You deserve better," she whispered.

He watched her shut the door and fell onto a bed. It was worthless to follow her when she was this upset as her only response would be to push him further. He'd destroyed the trust they had formed, and now someone else had to pick up the pieces.

On her way out of the precinct, Olivia had apologized to Casey and told her that she didn't think she would make it. Novak, a normally perceptive person, noticed the tears in her friend's eyes. Yet, when no explanation was offered, the ADA refused to push. She walked the female detective outside, hailed her a cab, and told her to call if she needed anything. After that, she stormed up to the cribs where a yelling match between the prosecutor and Stabler ensued.

No one went near either person afterward.

Olivia went to the same bar she had gone to the night before, but didn't allow herself to drink as much. When a man began flirting, she smiled back and joined in the game. She was still aware of her surroundings and what was happening and continued to remind herself that the sandy haired, blue eyed creature who was complimenting her so kindly was not the same man who had stolen her life from beneath her just a few months prior. After all, this time she knew the man's first and last name. Andrew Dougherty seemed to be a very kind person.

"You're such a pretty woman," the man stroked her cheek. "Why aren't you here with someone?"

"My boyfriend and I just had a falling out," she responded, smiling coyly. "No big deal though, he was kind of suffocating, if you know what I mean."

"Well I," the man crowed, "Am nothing like that."

Olivia let out a slight giggle. Her eyes fluttered closed as his lips captured hers in a sensual kiss. She returned the action willingly.

"Shall we go to my humble abode," he questioned confidently.

Telling herself that this was not the same man as before, Olivia nodded timidly. She bit her lower lip when he grabbed her hand and threw money down to cover their drinks. Allowing him to lead the way to his car, she climbed in the passenger's seat and the two rode in silence.

Vacating the vehicle and entering the apartment, her lips were immediately assaulted with his. As she felt his hands roam in places she hadn't been touched since her rape, her mind immediately flew into the moments where Macedo began attacking her. Forcing herself to remember where she was and who she was with, Olivia tried, with all of her might, to return the actions willingly. This was not her first one night stand, and she simply wanted it to be her way of moving on. If she could do it with him, she could return to Elliot and believe with all of her mind that she had sewn her wild oats and would be able to give him everything he desired in their relationship.

As they entered the bedroom, she tried to take the lead. She gingerly unbuttoned the man's shirt and removed his pants. She stroked his ego and his body in places that could only provide the utmost pleasure. He returned the favor. She watched as he rolled a condom over his member and took a deep breath, bracing herself for what else was to come.

With every touch, her mind found itself in Macedo's room. She held back the tears as he pulled off her shirt kindly and pushed away the images as his lips sucked on her tender skin. Trying to get her rapist's face out of her mind as Dougherty entered her cautiously. Olivia played the good girl – acted like she was enjoying every second. She gripped the sheets tightly as she wanted to cry out for him to stop. She bit her tongue to stop her voice from screaming no.

If she could survive this encounter, she would be able to move on. Over and over in her head she chanted the same mantra, you are safe, and this is fine. The man on top of her reached his release and Olivia played the part of a satisfied partner. His face nuzzled into her neck, and she turned away. Quickly slipping on her clothing, she stepped to the bedroom door.

"Thanks for a great night," she choked over her tears.

"That's it," he questioned. "You're leaving?"

"I have work tomorrow," she replied simply.

"Can I at least have your number?"

Shaking her head solidly, Benson let herself out of the apartment and ran to the street as quickly as she could. She kept moving quickly until she was nearly two blocks away. Pulling out her cell phone, she called the only person she could think of.

Novak.

"Casey," she breathed heavily. "Come get me."

Where are you?

Olivia could hear the panic in her friend's voice. She glanced at the street signs and gave the location to her friend before tacking on a desperate cry, "Please hurry."

I'll be there soon, I promise

The line went dead. Olivia sat on a nearby bench until she saw Casey's car pull up. Numbly the brown haired detective climbed into the sedan and pulled her knees to her chest as she leaned against the car door. Casey glanced at her friend and took in her disheveled appearance. Wondering what had occurred and how Olivia had gotten into this part of town, she allowed herself to wait for Benson to take the lead as she drove to her own apartment.

When there were no words from her friend, Novak spoke, "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Olivia bitterly answered. "I just want to sleep."

"All right then," Casey whispered. The ADA knew that it would take time, and she just had to make a silent vow to be ready when her friend needed to talk.

A/N: Yes? No? Like? No Like? Let me know by reviewing. If you review, I am happy. If I am happy, I write more. If I write more, you read more. Then this whole thing gets done. That was not a fun chapter…so thanks for reading and review. Did I ask you to review yet? Pretty please review. Every reviewer gets a digital cookie!!!!