DISCLAIMER: I do not, in any way shape or form, own the characters from Law & Order: SVU. They are created by Dick Wolf and I will forever love him for it. I am using these characters and the basis of this television show purely for entertainment and am not making any form of profit off of the writing of this piece. (AKA: It's not mine. Don't sue. Thanks.)

Fix You

A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews…I feel like I let some people down. This is an EO fanfiction, it will end EO, but there have to be obstacles. Olivia has to deal. I know she slept with a random guy. I know she's acting stupid. I know it seems OOC for her. She was raped people, it doesn't just disappear (much thanks to those who realize it). As for those who want to kill me for making her do it…I didn't make her. When I write, stuff kind of flows and happens. When I'm writing about something that hit close to home, well, let's just say that it's less about what I want to have happen and more about what I know to be realistic. I would love for her to just trust El and be over it, but that's not how it works. We do, however, see a lot of improvement in this chapter.

Now, virtual cookies. Thanks to: Andrea, instenseintimacy, KatieKat112211, PaceyW'sgirl, AbbyGrl, Abagail, marianne0424, onetreefan, MaryWhite, and MariposaAngel18. Take your pick of cookie, enjoy it, and have fun reading this chapter.

Without further ado…

Chapter 5: Good Times

"How has your week been?"

"Fine."

"Anything happen that you feel like you should tell me about?"

The brown haired woman took in a deep breath. It was Friday and she was sitting in Dr. Huang's office for her weekly therapy session. She silently debated telling him about her first venture into sexual relations. She tried to decide whether or not she wanted help. Elliot had maintained an entirely professional relationship with her, but always offered to help out if anything was appearing to be too much. Not once, however, had she taken him up on it.

"Olivia," the psychiatrist prompted, "why don't you tell me what you've done recently?"

"I had sex," she answered monotonously.

"Really," George nodded. "With whom?"

"His name was Andrew," she said blankly. Her eyes were examining the floor beneath her feet.

Huang searched his mind for anyone Olivia had mentioned named Andrew, but could think of no one. Wanting to understand what prompted the activity, he pushed further, "How did you meet Andrew?"

"He was at the same bar I was at that night," she whispered. "He said I was cute."

"You liked feeling loved?"

Olivia shrugged, "I wanted to feel normal. That was the last day of the trial – Macedo was found guilty. I cried like a baby in front of my coworkers, Elliot and I had fought that morning and that afternoon. I wanted control of my life. No matter what I do, no matter how much I restrict my food intake, I can't have control. I thought making the decision to move on, at least intimately, would make it all disappear."

The doctor noted her mention of restricting how much she ate, but decided to stick on the topic that she had willingly delved into, "It didn't."

Benson rolled her eyes in an annoyed manner. His responses were always so obvious that she almost couldn't stand it. Still, she kept her emotions in check, "No."

"Why didn't it help?"

"Because all I could think about the entire time was Macedo's hands running over my body. All I could remember was the feeling of being violated. I wanted to scream for him to stop, but I couldn't make myself," Olivia stopped to breathe for a second, doing all in her power to maintain a stable pitch in her voice. "I wanted to be in control again."

Huang nodded, making a note on the pad in front of him, "But you aren't in control?"

"No," she whispered.

"Tell me about your relationship with Elliot," George pushed cautiously. He could tell that his patient was standing on thin ice and every attempt to move closer was putting her at risk for falling.

Olivia looked around the room as she spoke, refusing to make eye contact with Huang, "He got mad at me when I kissed a random guy in front of him the night I testified. I was drunk, don't remember it all, but I still did it. I know it hurt him.

"He cares about me so much, you know? I just want to give him everything he deserves, and he deserves someone who isn't a walking train wreck. He deserves better than me. So I haven't told him about sleeping with someone. Our relationship is, for the time being, purely professional."

"Do you think that helps," George pushed.

Olivia sighed, "It's better that he's not hurting."

Huang nodded, "Maybe he's hurting anyway."

"Because he doesn't have to put up with the easy slut who can't manage to live her own life without being destructive," she scoffed. "Yeah right."

"You said earlier that nothing gives you control," George moved on, trying to best decide how to approach his next topic. "What have you tried to gain it?"

"I slept with a random guy. I've been drinking more lately," Olivia responded.

"What about your eating patterns?"

Olivia thought for a moment before shrugging, "I'm trying to be healthier."

"That's what you say every week," George reminded her cautiously.

Knowing that she was treading on thin ice, the female detective fed him the answer he had been waiting for, "I don't eat because it makes me feel like I have something that I can be in charge of. I can't control who the next perp attacks. I can't control my own emotions. I can't control how much what I do hurts the man that I love or my best friends. I can control how much food I shove into my mouth. Forgive me for taking charge of the one thing I can."

Nodding slowly, he watched as the patient slumped down in her chair, staring yet again at the floor in front of her. Not wanting to invade on a personal moment, he waited until she made the next move.

It took a few minutes before she looked up at him, "I know it's wrong. I know that what I'm doing isn't healthy. But you can't take it away from me." Olivia stared at him with pleading brown eyes, "Don't take this away from me, George."

"There are better ways to cope," he stated calmly.

"I don't want to know about them."

"You need help."

"No," she answered defiantly. "I don't. I am in control of this situation, I can quit whenever I'm feel like it."

The psychiatrist shook his head, "I'm not so certain you can."

"Don't do this," she begged quietly. "Please, just give me some more time. I can handle this."

"You just said you had no control, earlier you stated that even restricting your food intake didn't enable you to control your life," he said, pulling Olivia's own words back to haunt her. "I'm not supposed to give you any passes – no free rides. I should be telling Cragen that you need more help than I can provide, that you need to go to an inpatient treatment center."

"You won't, though," she stated quietly. "Will you?"

"Not yet," George answered. "But I want to see you more often, every Tuesday and Friday, at least. Bring Casey along next time and we'll find alternate coping strategies."

Biting her lower lip, Olivia gave a small nod in gratitude. George smiled softly, trying to reassure her that it would all be okay. "Go to work, and make up with Elliot. Tell him you're sorry. I know you still need him."

"I do," she whispered. "You're right."

"I'll see you Tuesday," he stated as he escorted her out of the door. "And, Olivia," she faced him, "you are anything but a slut or easy. You're one of the best cops I know, and the strongest woman I think I've ever met. This may have you down, but you're not out. Remember that, okay?"

Forcing a small smile, the detective nodded once more. She turned and walked from the building. There were still days when she didn't want to be alive, and the past few had been that type of day, but every so often someone would remind her why she was still alive. In those moments, she found the strength to move on.

Benson wandered into a squad room that felt unusually empty. Elliot sat at his desk, but aside from that, no one else was present except Captain Cragen who was in his office with the door shut. She noticed how unusual it was for there to be so few people around during the mid-afternoon but quickly dismissed it when she heard a voice addressing her.

"How'd therapy go?"

"Fine," she told her partner.

"That's good," Elliot nodded as he finished typing out the DD5 he had been working on.

Olivia took a deep breath, "Look, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Her brown eyes looked at his face, searching for any sign that he was actually listening to her. Deciding that he wouldn't simply ignore her calls, she continued, "For hurting you, for not trusting you, for not trying harder to get away from it. I was scared. I was upset. I lost control and started trying to fell into a pattern and let this whole thing take over every thought, every move I made. I lost who I was for a while, and now I'm ready to find me again."

Elliot looked at her with gentleness in his blue eyes. The fear that played on her smooth features was undeniable as he took in her words. He spoke to her softly, as though she were a scared child who needed to be reassured in the middle of the night, "I know you were and are sorry. I don't blame you, I blame myself for not being more supportive."

"You did everything right," she answered.

He shook his head, "I pushed too hard."

"You did not," she fought back, determined to prove to him that she was truly sorry and he had done nothing to deserve the cold treatment she had been handing him ever since the day she was raped. When he said nothing in rebuttal Olivia made the decision to bridge the gap she had created between them, "Are we okay?"

"We were always okay," he answered. "I would never just abandon you, and you know that."

"What I meant to ask was if we were back to how we were before I kissed some random guy in a bar?"

"Of course," he whispered.

She felt guilty about not revealing the fact that she had slept with someone else, but that was something that only her psychiatrist knew, and she had no intention of revealing that information to anyone else. It was a mistake, she learned from it, and hopefully it would never get out to her boyfriend.

"Thank you," she finalized the conversation.

"Any time," he told her with a small smile and a look of devotion in his eyes.

Olivia's eyes returned the same gaze as she smiled at her partner, "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," was his tender reply as he returned to his work. Olivia did the same until they were called to a crime scene.

Once there, she spoke to the victim in caring tones as Elliot hovered nearby. When the ambulance took her to Roosevelt Hospital, she rode in the back, but Elliot met her at the door before walking into the building. He stood outside of the door while Olivia held the victim's hand through a rape kit, but he knew that the night would be a long one when Olivia stepped out of the room, found the nearest trash can, and heaved up the little food that had been in her stomach.

As soon as the victim was decent, he watched her walk back into the room and speak with the young, red haired teenager who couldn't control her tears. Olivia held the small body close as she shook and went through the motions of taking a detailed statement.

Every case seemed to hit harder than the last, and Benson continued to find it increasingly difficult to remain unattached. Again, Elliot would cover for her if she needed it. He would explain her conduct as necessary to their captain and the IAB if the need arose. Nothing changed the fact that his partner was a damn good cop.

As the brown haired woman stepped out of the room, Elliot peaked his head in to see the teenager fall back on the small bed she had been sitting on.

"What have we got?"

Olivia sighed, "Megan Churchill, 15. She was walking home from a friend's house when some man asked her for directions. She stopped to help him and then turned to leave. He knocked her out, drug her into the alley, and she woke up halfway through the rape. Thankfully she fought like hell; got a piece of him under her nails and he left DNA, not a very clean man. I'm calling a sketch artist to work with her. Are the parents here?"

"Waiting room," he whispered, resting his hand on the small of her back. He watched her close her eyes and let out a deep breath as she attempted to rid herself of too many memories. Elliot decided to ease her burden, "I'll do the talking."

"That would be greatly appreciated," the female detective breathed. The two walked together to the waiting room where they sat across from the parents. Elliot briefed them on their daughter's condition and led the way to visit. Olivia warned of the possible reactions they may encounter.

Stabler stood by as his partner watched through a window at the family's interactions for a moment. For the most part, the girl seemed genuinely happy to see her parents. Assured that she was safe, Elliot led the way out of the hospital and back to the precinct where the two filled Cragen in. He dismissed them willingly, saying something about it being late and all of them needing sleep.

"Do you want to stay with me," Elliot questioned, "or Casey?"

Olivia walked over to her locker and grabbed something trivial that she didn't feel like leaving at the precinct overnight. Approaching her desk, she walked past it and over to Elliot, permitting her body to fall against his chest for the first time in nearly four days. He smiled as he felt her mold against him and let tension flow from her body. A small smile fluttered across her face. She took in the scent of a long day at work and days of concern. Finding comfort against his body, she remained silent and refused to move.

Elliot responded in the only way he knew to be logical – wrapping his arms around the woman and pulling her close, resting his chin on her head and rubbing her back soothingly. They remained intertwined for a few moments before Olivia looked up at his face. However, at her odd angle, all she could see was the edge of his chin and straight up his nose. She pulled back and stifled a laugh.

"What's so funny," Elliot asked quizzically.

"Nothing," she answered, her eyes sparkling with humor.

Despite his lack of understanding, nothing made him happier than to see the sparkle in his partner's eyes that was a rare commodity anymore. He allowed a grin to wipe across his face and walked to the door, "Detective Benson, if you would like a ride, come now."

"Are you taking me out for food?"

Elliot looked at her for a moment before speaking, "You're hungry?"

"Starved," she answered.

"Well, then. Food it is."

Olivia took his hand as she began walking, "You're buying."

Elliot rolled his eyes, playing the annoyed boyfriend, but if the truth were to be told, in that moment, he couldn't have been happier.

A/N: So…that's chapter 5. I don't know if I like it at all. I wanted something a bit lighter though, something that was worth smiling about at the end. I wanted the two of them to be happy for a minute or two because poor Olivia has been through pure hell and deserves to smile. So there ya go. Let me know by reviewing. This time, reviewers get pie!