DISCLAIMER: I do not, in any way shape or form, own the characters from Law & Order: SVU. They are created by Dick Wolf and I will forever love him for it. I am using these characters and the basis of this television show purely for entertainment and am not making any form of profit off of the writing of this piece. (AKA: It's not mine. Don't sue. Thanks.)

Fix You

A/N: Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews. I'm glad the visit to Alex was accepted well and it made people happy. I've never really written Alex, so I don't know how well I'm doing. Any advice is much appreciated.

It's officially the 4th of July, but dad's sick. He had a heart transplant Nov 2005, and now he gets sick a lot, and he's in rejection and so it kinda sucks. Oh well.

And now it's the 5th of July. This damn chapter is taking FOREVER. Seriously. Oh well…

Without further ado…

Chapter 9: Thicker Than Blood

Alex woke around three in the morning to a loud scream from her guest bedroom. The blonde took a moment to adjust to the sound, but before it ended she was out of the door and in the one right across the hall. The sight shocked her. Olivia sat up in her bed, knees hugged to her chest, and tears streaming down her face. Cabot sat on the edge of the bed and waited, offering silent companionship during a moment of fear.

Within a few minutes, Benson had wiped the tears from her eyes and glanced at her friend, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Don't worry about it," Alex answered reassuringly.

"I thought I could sleep through the night."

The blonde examined her friend's demeanor. Olivia was speaking with a very doubtful tone. The confidence the detective had once exhibited was an on and off again show. Alex assumed it was a mask she put up to prevent people from worrying about her. Never before, though, had she seen Benson so broken – so hurt. Alex offered a sad smile, "Don't worry about it. Part of you being here is healing, right?"

Olivia nodded. Alex continued, "So maybe this is part of the healing. We'll just take it a day at a time, all right?"

Again, the detective's head bobbed up and down silently. She threw the tangled covers away from her and stood up. Alex watched as Olivia left the room in silence. The ex-ADA sighed softly before making the bed. She left the room and changed into her running shorts and a tank top, assuming that anymore sleep would be a very unlikely occurrence.

Cabot walked down the stairs and pulled a bottle of water from her refrigerator. She then sat on the recliner in her living room and turned on the television. It was nearly four by that time and she was trying to find something besides an infomercial to view. Settling on an I Love Lucy rerun, the blonde watched silently until she heard foot steps bounding down the stairs. Olivia stood in front of her around five with her hair pulled back, black gym shorts on, and one of Elliot's old NYPD t-shirts with the sleeves cut off.

Alex stood up, "I take it you're ready to run."

"Let's move," Olivia pleaded.

"What's gotten into you?"

The brown haired woman shrugged, "A serious desire to blow off some steam?"

"I'll take that," Alex answered as the two left the house and took off on a light jog. Olivia followed as her friend took the normal route. It was barely light out and the streets were mostly bare. A car would pass by every so often, but very few people seemed to be out and about that weekday morning. Their total run took about an hour. When they arrived back at the townhouse, Olivia showered first and Alex followed. When the blonde left the bathroom, the distinct smell of scrambled eggs floated through the house. Quickly changing into jeans and a blue short sleeved blouse, she left her bedroom and meandered down the stairs.

The table was already set and orange juice was poured for the two table settings. She watched wordlessly as Benson served both plates. The brown haired woman looked over at the door frame and smiled graciously, "I figured I owed you."

"For what?"

"For letting me crash in your house with no real warning," Olivia replied.

"If this is my payment," Alex stated, "then you can crash here any day. I didn't know you cooked."

Olivia let out a small chuckle, "I have a few tricks up my sleeve, you know."

"I see," Alex answered as she took a seat, her still wet hair hanging around her shoulders. The two ate mostly in silence, only talking about little, inconsequential things. Olivia did the dishes and they set about running errands and enjoying a much needed vacation.

For the next week and a half, things were lighthearted between Olivia and Alex. Cabot had no desire to push the other woman through the healing process. They ran together each morning – which appeared to be a stress reliever for Olivia. Almost every night was riddled with nightmares, and Alex was learning that all that the other woman needed during those moments was a friend to sit by her and assure her that it would be all right.

However, when Olivia had only three days left with Alex before returning home and she started to withdraw. At that point, Cabot took it upon herself to make a difference. That evening, she insisted on taking Olivia out for dinner. When they returned back to her place, the two sat on the couch, preparing to watch something on television. However, before turning the console on, Alex pulled her leg underneath her and looked at her friend.

"Talk to me," the blonde said sensitively. While she didn't want to push Olivia, it was obvious that the goal of starting to heal hadn't been reached. When a blank stare was the only reply, Alex continued to press on, "You barely eat half of your meal anytime we go anywhere. You can't sleep through the night. You shy away from every man you pass on the street. You said you wanted to heal. You have to talk for that to happen."

Olivia sighed quietly before talking, "I'm still terrified. No matter how hard I try, I can't push what happened away. It's always a part of everything. On top of that, I'm a horrible girlfriend, I have no control over my life, and I can't even sit through an interview or interrogation without wanting to go throw up in a corner.

"It doesn't help any that I happened to get really, really drunk the night I testified and kissed another guy in front of Elliot," the brown haired woman stopped for a moment, thinking about how to word what was next. Eventually, she found the syllables that would correctly convey her actions, "and then I broke his heart by having sex with one Andrew Dougherty, but don't ask me what his phone number is, what he does for a living, or anything else about him. I didn't talk to him long enough to learn any of that. I just did everything in my power to remember that Kevin Macedo wasn't the one lying on top of me forcing his body inside of mine. Sure, it was consensual that time, but that doesn't mean I wanted to do it."

Alex nodded silently, taking in every word that escaped from her friend's mouth. Olivia shut her eyes tightly before speaking once more, "I didn't tell anyone, save Huang. A few weeks after that, Elliot and I were talking, and talking turned into kissing, which turned into fooling around, and eventually started to seem like we would finally make love. I know he's wanted it for so long, you know? He said I was beautiful, and I lost it. I screamed and jumped away from him, curling in a corner until Casey got to his house to hold me. It was after that when I finally told him about having sex with someone else."

"How'd he take that," Alex questioned, picturing Elliot yelling and screaming.

Olivia scoffed, "At first he just wanted to know why, he was still kind and loving – trying to understand, I think. Once it sunk in though, he was pretty pissed off. I can't blame him, though."

"What else," the blonde continued to push, knowing from Benson's sorrowful gaze that she hadn't finished her answer.

"He accused me of lying," Olivia pushed back a sob. "He asked me how many other men I'd been with since the time we'd started seeing each other. The worst part, though, was when he questioned whether I had been raped."

Alex's jaw dropped slightly at the end. She could understand his doubtfulness when it came to her honesty with other men, but to accuse his partner of eight years of lying about being raped when all Olivia desired to do was put rapists and abusers behind bars was an uncalled for low blow. A low, depressing grunt escaped Benson's lips, "It wasn't that bad."

"Are you kidding," Cabot muttered. "That would be horrible."

"He didn't mean it," the detective quickly defended. She knew that Elliot was sorry, that he had never intended to hurt her. "It was said in the heat of the moment – I said some hurtful things too."

Alex nodded before she glanced at the clock. It was getting late and a stifled yawn fell from her mouth. Yet, before announcing her desire to go to bed, she waited to see if Olivia had anything else to say. Watching the brown haired woman closely, it was obvious that some relief had come from simply telling someone who wasn't so close to the situation. Benson smiled warmly at her friend, "You can't care about this."

"I care about you," Alex answered firmly. "I wonder how you guys are every day I'm here. You can't know how amazing it was to know I would finally see you again – although I do wish it was under better circumstances. So I do care about all of this, because you deserve to be happy, healthy, and safe. Don't deny yourself that right."

"Thanks Mom," Olivia whispered sarcastically, warm tears of comfort prickling the corners of her eyes. She felt two arms wrap around her small body, and she fell into the embrace. Her head fell against the shoulder and her eyes shut as she let reprieve from her pain take over. The arms remained tightly fastened around her until she released her own grip.

Alex smiled before standing and stretching, "I think we should both get some sleep."

Olivia nodded in agreement before walking up the steps ahead of the blonde. She turned one more time to face her friend, "I can't thank you enough."

"Just get some sleep," was all Benson heard before the other bedroom door shut. Feeling more at peace than she had in many weeks, Olivia changed and fell into her bed. The brown eyed detective let her eyes drift shut as she yanked her covers around her small body and hugged her knees to her chest.

She slept peacefully through the night and awoke more rested than she had in as long as she could remember. Olivia and Alex spent their last few days together by talking through the rest of Olivia's fears and doubts as well as just having a good time. It was as though they had never been apart, and the two assured themselves that, no matter what, they would both be all right. Those days were healing for Alex just as much as they were for her friend.

Slinging her carry on bag over her shoulder for the final time that day, the brown haired woman turned to the blonde standing next to her. Letting out a deep sigh, she embraced her friend once more, longing to take the past two weeks with her back to New York and replicate them for the rest of her life. She wiped tears from her brown eyes before offering a sad, uncertain smile to her friend.

The blonde pursed her lips before waving her friend on, "Michelle, just remember that you can write anytime."

"Trust me," Olivia whispered, "I will."

"I'll miss you," Alex stated calmly, trying to hold herself strong for Olivia.

"We'll meet again soon, Hayley, I know it," the detective answered, keeping her friend's cover. "Thank you. For everything."

Alex wiped a stray tear, "Anytime. Remember, this will all be okay, you'll be okay. You can do this."

"I can do this," the brown haired woman whispered confidently.

"Go," Alex waved once more, "You'll miss your flight!"

Nodding, Olivia gave one final grin, this time one that shown of confidence and her old stubbornness. The NYPD Detective walked quickly through the metal detector and scanned her purse and bag. She waved one final time to the blonde, who offered a quick gesture in return. Not wanting to break quite yet, Olivia quickly grabbed her belongings and walked to the terminal for the plane back to New York.

Boarding began; Olivia had an aisle seat and was next to a six year old girl. As tears flowed from the detective's brown eyes despite her greatest efforts to prevent them the girl smiled up at her, "Are you leaving someone you love?"

"I am," Olivia answered softly.

"Who was it?"

"My best friend," the brown haired woman answered, amazed at the child's innocence.

The red headed child smiled again, "I'm visiting New York with my mommy."

Olivia grinned at the big gesture to the red headed woman seated by the window. She spent her flight to New York chatting with the young girl and coloring with her. Once the plane landed, she prepared herself quickly for seeing Elliot again. She had called him asking if he would pick her up, and he had willingly agreed.

Walking off of the plane and through the terminal took a fair amount of time. Benson navigated through the crowds of people as quickly as she could maneuver. Once she was out of the terminal her eyes fell upon the dark haired man she had come to love. Despite missing Alex, she had never been happier to see Elliot's smile. Walking up to him, she felt his arms wrap around her and his lips gently grace her forehead. Olivia smiled blissfully into his chest.

Pulling back, Elliot was the first to speak, "Have I ever missed you!"

"Me too," she whispered. "But I saw an old friend, and I think things are better now."

Elliot examined her brown eyes as she spoke to him. He could finally see the old sparkle they once held – the definite glimmer of independence and strength – had returned. Grinning broadly, Elliot picked her up and spun her around once more. She laughed gently, truly pleased to be back with him.

He picked up her carry on bag and began walking toward baggage claim, tenderly pulling her hand into his and leading the way. Olivia pulled her body as close to his as she could, relishing in the comfort that her best friend in the world was still safe and alive and that the man she loved was standing by her side.

Benson knew the road was still long and winding, and she was bound to falter many times, but she would not fall.

A/N: That took me a while, and I don't really like it, but I wanted her to heal and get home so I could have something else important happen. I decided this will be a trilogy thing…if you're all okay with that…because where I leave this may not please many people. I am estimating that I may have 2 more chapters…which will be mostly fluff. So yeah. Review!! Please!!! I like knowing that people are reading and enjoying. Thanks again!