Disclaimers: I do not own Ocean's Eleven, Ocean's Twelve, or Ocean's Thirteen and I never will.

"We are definitely gonna die."

"We are not. Just stay calm. Like I said before let me talk."

"Alright then. Oh, man here they come."

And so Rusty was right when a very angry looking Tess and Isabel came out into the balcony.

They were both fuming while Tess' face showed annoyance while Isabel's showed irritation.

"We found a very disturbing thing." Tess slowly started with a slight evil hiss.

That hiss made Danny shudder. He knew that hiss. It was a reprimanding hiss. The hiss was absolutely horrible to be hissed at.

"It seems the room that we got for you two has been totally destroyed." Isabel also continued slowly but her voice had no hiss because instead it was really, really soft.

That softness made Rusty wince. He knew that wince. It was an admonishing softness. The softness was undoubtedly bad to be said softly at.

They both looked at each other trying to come up with something to say. Instead Tess interrupted, "Now I really hope there is some and I mean some… explanation for all of this."

Rusty opened his mouth but Isabel cut in, "Everything has been destroyed. The furniture that we chose, the clothes we chose, and the alcohol seemed to have drained."

They both looked at the men expectantly. Their eyes pierced the men's. They were definitely pissed.

For sometime the men didn't say anything to defend themselves. No, they just stared back and forth from their lady loves' eyes to the floor when finally Rusty nudged Danny.

"You see while you two beautiful ladies were out…" he started, quickly thinking of a way out. "We (indicating him and Rusty with his hands) were already set to do a job."

"By yourselves?" Tess just as quickly asked.

Rusty nodded. "By ourselves…" Danny continued. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "But then we had a little problem since Rust-man over here totally screwed us over."

"Hey! I did not screw us over. I merely made the wrong move. I'm getting older every day… Lay off of me!" Rusty said in his defense.

Tess and Isabel just nodded but it was easily seen that the two weren't going to be appeased.

"Older every day, eh! That's what you get for using all those products to keep your features alive and well! Now you're going to become a wrinkled hag." Danny snickered.

Rusty immediately slapped his friend on the shoulder. Isabel said in a very impatient tone, "To the point!"

"Sorry!" Danny quickly apologized. He glared at Rusty who just glared back. Returning his gaze to the ladies he continued, "So we went to the bar and started arguing."

Rusty interrupted, "Well Danny was arguing… I was just trying to keep everything calm."

In return for that statement Rusty was punched on side by Danny. "Aw!" Rusty exclaimed.

"Would you two stop acting like a pair of teenagers and get on with it?!?" Tess said. Her eyes were blazing.

Rusty glared harder at Danny and in turn Danny glared harder back at Rusty. Finally breaking away, Danny continued, "Sorry, Tess. Anyways… We were obviously drinking at the bar and when we returned to the apartment slash condo you two gave us the arguing started-both of us started it- some more and we started once again to drink."

But the men both saw the ladies anger growing and growing and they realized that Danny shouldn't have mentioned that they were drinking.

So Rusty took over. "We didn't drink that much." But the glares he received from the ladies made him recant, saying, "Okay, so we drank more than much."

"And we are sorry that we destroyed the apartment slash condo you two gave us while we were in our drunken state." Danny added.

"Plus we both had a very bad three days." Rusty put in.

"We couldn't control ourselves."

"And the alcohol just was too tempting."

"So we had to drink it."

"Okay, rephrase that. We didn't have to."

"But we did anyway."

"So the ignorance was partially in play."

"And the loss of judgment was another key."

And that was it. They waited for Tess' and Isabel's reaction. For awhile they both saw nothing in the ladies' faces instead the ladies backed away to silently talk to one another as if analyzing the whole explanation.

The men were sinking in their fear while Rusty muttered, "I don't like it when those two have their silent talks."

Danny agreed. "I know…especially when they don't say everything in their words. They use that women intellectual slash instinctual code."

"That code is very dangerous."

"Yup, we should be very wary."

"What do you think their going to think?"

"We can hope they believe us."

"We told the truth!"

"I know…shush before they hear you. But you know them as well as I do. They always have a way of--- figuring things out."

"Like what?"

"You know… figuring out that we didn't say everything; figuring out that we were lying."

"Oh, I hate when that happens."

"Me too. Me too."

Tess and Isabel were finally done with their own conversation. They turned to the men and expectantly looked at them. They didn't say anything.

Danny and Rusty didn't know what to do. So Rusty hesitantly said, "So…we're okay now?"

Silence…. Until Tess exclaims sarcastically, "Okay!" The men winced at the sound of her hiss. "No, it is not okay."

"You two may be able to fool tons of men but not us." Isabel assured.

"Continue…" both women said.

Rusty was silent. He was shocked because Danny was right. Danny wasn't shocked. He was just freaked out. So he mumbled, "Um….."

"Um….what?" Tess questioned.

"Stupid intellectual, instinctual code…" Rusty muttered, mostly to himself. But Tess and Isabel both knew he said something but didn't know what.

"What?" Isabel asked.

Rusty looked to Danny. Danny looked to Rusty. They both shrugged as Rusty took the reins. "Well, you see we woke up. We found ourselves in an--- how do I say this? Um…. In an interesting situation."

Danny pointed daggers at Rusty. He was keenly conveying through his eyes that Rusty not tell them about how they slept.

Seeing this, Rusty conveyed through his eyes a "Duh! Of course I'm not going to tell!" look and continued to their ladies, "We had horrible hangovers when we got a knock."

"A ring." Danny interrupted.

"Whatever!" Rusty said. "We got a ringing knock. And there appeared a delivery boy who had a strange order from miles away. So we had to pay for it. We were about to clean everything up when I realized that the money that was used to pay for the large amount that cost for such a long and weird delivery boy's pizza was my money… we instead entered another arguing….predicament."

"Predicament such as…" Isabel slowly said.

"Well…." Rusty started but Danny quickly intervened. "We maybe got into a little fight…" he said.

"A fight?" Tess said. "As in fists swinging?"

"Or verbal fighting?" Isabel put in.

Danny scratched his cheek. "More like see whoever can break the most stuff while adding sophomoric insults kind of fight."

"I see…" Tess started. She and Isabel nodded as if understanding everything. Rusty and Danny didn't know whether to be relieved or cautious about that understanding.

"So you two." Isabel continued point at both of them. "You two had a ridiculous argument, went back to the temporary home we got you, started drinking, and destroyed the place."

Before any of the men could say anything, Tess added, "And then after waking up…you two had to pay a large sum for something you probably didn't remember buying, and when you Rusty figured out that my husband used your money to pay you both decided to get in a petty fight that involved the absolute decimation of all the things we bought for you two."
Both men were silent. They knew the looks that their loves gave them. They were the looks of pure anger with a silent deadly assurance that indicated that the both of them would be punished…harshly.

"Um….yeah." Danny finally admitted.

"That's about it." Rusty finally said.

Surprisingly, Tess and Isabel didn't yell at them. Instead the ladies nodded, both said okay, and left the balcony. They left two very confused, anxious, and scared men who were trying to figure out if their leaving without yelling was a good thing or not.

"That went well." Danny said, letting his voice stop the silence that was formally between them.

"Quite well." Rusty agreed. He sighed a breath of relief but that relief soon disappeared when he said, "They didn't yell. That means their going to put on us a cruel punishment."

"Don't say things like that…" Danny snapped but he eventually agreed with a nod. "We should commit suicide right now."

"Yeah, cause they both will torture us before death."

"What'd you think they do?"

"I dunno. Deprive us of something?"

"Food?"

"Nah…money?"

"No…besides we'll just steal some. I don't know man."

"They're going to deprive us of something. I can feel it."

Silence. "Oh, no!"

"What?"

"They can't. That's just wrong."

"What's wrong?"

But then he too realized what the other realized. "Oh, no!"

"I know!"

"They wouldn't."

"Oh, they would."

"But why?"

"Because their women, they have the power, and we love them. That's why."

"But that'll just destroy us forever. We'll be utterly dry!"

"I know! That's why they'll deprive us of it."

"Oh…this is bad."

"Very bad. We need to do something. We can't be deprived of something that makes us live."

"I agree but what?"

"I don't know…"

"Oh, that helps."

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"Us arguing now won't help us stop their impending depriving of a man's natural thing."

"You started it."

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Not!"

"Did!"

"Not!"

"Did!"

"Not!"

"Not!"

"Did!"

"Ha!"

"Oh!" Pause. "Whatever!"

"Okay no more arguing."

"Okay."

"So what are we going to do?"

Silence.

"I don't know."

"Wow! That's such a wonderful helper."

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"Idiotic man whore."

"Momma's horny boy."