As gently as he possibly could, trying to not wake the lightest of sleepers, Albus pushed a lock of long, dark hair behind Minerva's ear to keep it from obstructing his view of her face. He was not certain how long he'd been awake. He dared not turn to look at watch or clock for fear of waking the woman who slept peacefully in his arms. Instead he simply looked at her, taking in a sight he was certain he would never see again.

Guilt flooded his mind. What had he done? He knew perfectly what, of course, but that did not lessen his horror at such a dramatic loss of control. How could he have done this to her when he claimed to love her and have no desire in his heart other than to protect her? He could not become involved with her. He knew that. Yet look at what he'd allowed himself to do.

You're only human, the little voice in the back of his head told him.

Well, that was simply unacceptable. He may be only human and therefore unable to be certain he could adequately protect her but that fact should not also be the cause of her pain.

Yet it would be. He knew it just as certainly as he knew he loved her. When she woke he would have to tell her that despite what had just happened and all of the things he'd told her, they could not be together and they could not let last night's events ever reoccur. It was simply too dangerous. He would be able to live with himself even less than he could now if she ended up dead because of him. It was that which drove him to not simply spare the both of them and continue down the path they were on.

He hoped she would understand. She was a reasonable person, so it was not entirely unlikely, but she could also be a very emotional one at times as well and she would by hurt. Because of him. She would be hurt because of him. God, he'd never meant for any of this to happen. He'd hoped to keep her peacefully ignorant of his feelings in the hope that—as painful as it would be for him—she would give up on him and move one to someone else who could make her happy. Now, by admitting his feelings, he'd probably just made that ten times harder for her.

Assuming that she didn't hate him after today. He hoped she would not. As selfish as it was, he needed her. She was his right hand, his trusted second and more than that he valued her presence. He did not want to lose her completely.

He'd never meant for any of this to happen.

As Albus had discovered that she was apt to do, Minerva squirmed a bit in her sleep, turning away from him but remaining near him with her own arms pressing his to her. She, like most people really, appeared quite peaceful in her sleep. Her face was relaxed and a small smile, so rare in her waking state, rested securely on her lips. An urge to kiss her forehead, brought on by the pleasant sight, came upon him but it was ignored. An action like that would certainly wake her, and that was the last thing he wanted. This was both the first and last time that he would have her here like this and he intended to savor it. Moreover, he wanted to postpone having to tell her the inevitable as long as possible.

They stayed like that, she sleeping secure and unaware in his arms and he doing his best tp take in all he could, for a long time. It could not last forever, however, and eventually Minerva stirred into wakefulness.

A pair of soft lips brushed his and Albus found himself unwittingly returning the gesture, momentarily forgetting his misgivings just as he had the night before when they'd . . .

His misgivings returned quickly enough and using as much willpower as he possessed, he broke the quickly turned passionate kiss.

"Minerva . . ."

"Hmm?" she asked, pressing herself comfortably to his chest. He was very aware of the fact that she was still wearing not a strip of clothing and his heart pounded.

All he really wanted to do was kiss her again and make the morning, an ironically sunny and beautiful one to his eyes, a continuance of the night before and forget this insanity of giving her up. That wasn't possible. He would never forgive himself for doing that, just as he would never forgive himself for putting them both into the situation they were in now.

"I'm sorry."

The contentedness which had been radiating from Minerva even as she'd slept snapped like a brittle twig and suddenly the entire atmosphere of the room changed.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," he repeated quietly. "I should never have allowed this to happen. I let my heart run away with me."

He had never seem anyone look as confused and hurt as Minerva did right then and his heart shattered to see it. He should have known better—he did know better. His guilt doubled. She suddenly seemed very young to him—and, God, she was! Suddenly he saw and felt every year of the seventy-five year difference in their ages.

"I don't understand."

Of course she didn't understand. How could she? He barely did right now?

"Minerva, do you remember a boy who came to this school the same year you graduated, a Slytherin by the name of Tom Riddle?"

Minerva's manner shifted drastically, suddenly fiery and mad rather than vulnerable and confused. Seeing that, Albus knew he had mis-stepped. Despite that, he preferred that she be mad at him. It was far more Minerva, and frankly made the ache in his heart ease, if only a little, to know she'd not been broken.

"Albus, what kind of—"

"He's been killing people, Minerva. He's been killing Muggles and our own kind as well—those who he feels have tainted blood or like Muggles too much. He's taken a new name and I believe that he is a threat. A small one right now, but a growing one as well."

Minerva could not see what this had to do with Albus taking advantage of her. Tom Riddle was utterly irrelevant and the fact that Albus would try and pretend that he was relevant just made her temper double. Albus was a lecherous old man, and she told him so.

Desperate to salvage as much of any relationship with her as he could, Albus moved toward her, grabbing her shoulders and looking into her angry green eyes. "Minerva, I meant everything I told you last night. I love you, and I have for years now." He swallowed hard, willing himself to continue. "And that is exactly why I am sorry for all of this and why I'm speaking of Tom Riddle."

He could see her anger burning higher and hurried to continue.

"He came here. He was applying for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. He was quite mad about it when he did not get the job and I believe he's added that to his list of grudges against me. He's dangerous and I've no doubt he will continue to become more so. I can't risk your life, Minerva. I love you too much for that and that is what would happen if I were to allow myself to continue involvement with you. Tom might see you as a way to hurt someone who stands against him. It's too dangerous."

Minerva could not listen to him anymore. What he was saying sounded good but she was either too hurt or too angry to listen any more and she could not decide which. Either way, it did not change any thing. She had to go. She couldn't stand to stay. She just wanted to go to her room and cry from hurt or anger, whichever it was.

She pulled herself from his grasp and grabbed her robes from the floor. She put them on as quickly sd she could manage and fled from Albus' chambers to her own. Albus, feeling defeated and unsure of what to do for the first time in many years, did nothing but watch her as she left. He could only hope that if given some time she would understand.

/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/E/

Author's Note:

I'm thinking many of you are probably none to pleased with me right now, but it will all work out in the end. Whenever that comes.