Overlooking What We're Looking For

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

"Apologize" by OneRepublic

--::--

"This is ridiculous."

Harry glared from behind thick glasses, pulling his knees closer. He didn't appreciate the interruption anymore than Draco welcomed meeting like they had been.

"Than go to the Astronomy Tower."

Draco snorted.

"You're always there! It doesn't matter where I go, you're there." Draco dropped his arms and sent him a deadpanned look. "Are you stalking me? I don't like it."

"Considering the situation Malfoy, I would have to say you're following me." Harry returned to staring out over the moonlit water. "Go to the Astronomy Tower."

"Why should I?"

"I'm not there now."

This had been happening for over a month. Draco wouldn't be able to sleep, he'd wander to some place he felt provided privacy, and would stumble across Potter. It was unending.

"Will you be there tomorrow?"

It was only when he felt the petite boy wasn't going to answer that he replied. Quiet, unsure words that rang in the silence.

"I don't know."

Draco bit his lip. He had been watching Potter since the third meeting. Watched him mostly push around his food and swallow little, trail after his friends silently, back off from the usual verbal spars, refuse lunch, drop further and further behind in classes, refuse dinner. His habits made it apparent he never slept either.

Draco was unnaturally worried.

"Potter. Do you even know where you are?"

Harry didn't say anything for the rest of the night.

--::--

He was numb.

-Who made the Hippogriff mad?- Harry mused, drugged.

Groaning, the black unicorn opened blurry eyes. The lighting in his stall had been dimmed to the point of nonexistence, sunlight filtering over the door supplying the most visibility. Straw crinkled under him when he moved, and it wasn't entirely uncomfortable, just itchy. Not that he felt much below his neck. Hagrid must have given him a powerful Numbing Potion.

Straining to raise his neck, Harry attempted to observe his stall. It was a small square but not small enough he started to panic. Something in his subconscious stirred at the enclosure. He wrote it off as the natural instinct to roam.

-Good morning, Harry Potter-

The greeting sent a rush of cold reality down his spine. Snorting, Harry scanned the beams holding the ceiling, and met golden orbs. Lounging, tail curling and uncurling with leisurely ease, the animagus Bellatrix was maneuvered directly above him.

As a prey animal, Harry struggled to flee. The potion was too strong however, and his legs just flopped uselessly. Harsh mocking laughter permeated the silence and scuffles.

-Ah. Is poor little Potter trapped? The half-breed practically hand delivered you to me- Bellatrix teased cruelly. She made no move to follow on her half-hearted threat. -Are you enjoying the body my master choice for you, Harry Potter?-

Defenseless, waiting for the final blow, Harry felt injustice broil in his chest. It bloomed, engraining seeds of hate and helpless despair in his veins. This was not a glorified way to die, and there was nothing Harry wanted more at that exact moment than to live.

-Quite. Why don't you slither back and tell Tom thanks for me?- Harry retorted, and for a split second, her sneer drooped. Then it returned, revealing pink fangs to the slivers of sunlight through the boards.

-I see you have a tongue, but is there venom? Or are you merely barking?- Bellatrix leaned down, the scruff at the base of her neck bristling. -Tell me, Boy-Who-Lived, how does it feel to know not one of those precious people you care about can save you? My master has plotted well, and long. There is no running from this, and when you are dead and decayed, we will rise above those pathetic muggles, and slaughter the mudbloods that mar our heritage!-

-'We'? Bellatrix, you're getting ahead of yourself. Only Tom will have power- Harry murmured slyly. The panther went rigid, golden eyes wide in outrage.

She snarled, rising to a crouch. Despite himself, Harry quaked at the ripple of muscle beneath her deceiving coat.

-Petty words will not stop me, Potter. You may be safe in this barn and on this soil, but the minute the call of the forest becomes too strong, you are mine. Oh, and it will. It is the beauty of unicorn blood. You see, no magical creature can be contained for long, whether against its will or not- Bellatrix hissed, stretched indulgently. Her smirk was acrid, claws shredding gouges in the wooden beam.

-We shall see how long you last, unicorn-

Cumbersome footsteps reached Harry's sensitive hearing, and he tilted an ear. Hagrid was the one person he could think of that could be so heavy the straw would vibrate.

Returning his gaze to the ceiling, he was unsurprised to see emptiness.

"Eh! Awake, are ye? Good!" The bearded man boomed, clapping massive hands together in excitement. Shuffling thoughts of Voldemort's plan aside for later digestion, Harry gaped. He hadn't seen Hagrid so positively delighted in years. He's mad! For all the half-giant knew, Harry was a psychotic unicorn that went on mass rampages. It was not in favor of his nature, but still. He was a wild animal, and magical no less.

Harry briefly wondered how Gawp was fairing.

-I'm a unicorn, Bellatrix wants to eat me, Voldemort is plotting deviously, and the Wizarding World probably thinks I've been had- Harry remarked pulling his legs closer. -My life…it's out to get me!-

A little melodramatic but even the stoutest Gryffindor would quail under the circumstances. And I even have Slytherin in me. Harry suddenly had the desire to laugh and laugh until he couldn't see.

"Ye all right there, boy? Snape's potions can be tough. Even Pomfrey didna know what else ta do." Hagrid said, babbling. Although Harry was actually a rather tame unicorn, because he wasn't a unicorn, he found Hagrid maddening. The smile was innocent and loving, as only a very open-minded man could be. He had a child's ability to love unconditional and unrequitedly.

Harry whickered softly.

Abruptly, he didn't feel quite so alone.

--::--

A Thestral shrieked, warring with another male across the aisle. This of course started off the entire barn, nearly two dozen screaming creatures of death. It was the same, every hour or two. Even though they never got within ten feet of each other, even though bars lay around their stalls, even though they never really saw the other!

Harry moaned.

There was nothing worse than enhanced hearing in an enclosed space. If anything, the bedding seemed to ricochet the sound back into open air. The gods hated him, he was sure of it.

-Be quiet!- He shouted, a piercing whinny cutting the sound and sending a hush down the stalls. The Thestrals did not know what to make of the strange horned animal sharing their home. They knew he was a unicorn, and black at that, but they also knew him for a human. It was Men that gave them orders, and treats.

Should they listen to him too?

Harry moaned again, when the Thestrals renewed the shrieking.

Down the aisle, the door slide open with a terrible clamor. Relieved, Harry exploded up from his small pool of straw, straining his head over the stall. Thank Merlin for the lack of bars! Hagrid was stepping into the dim settings, light spilling around his bulky frame. He had promised Harry freedom soon, a paddock or pasture or anything! The ex-wizard was desperate enough to take a walk, rope or no rope.

His inner Slytherin suggested flight.

bellatrix

Her threat lay heavy in his mind. Harry had considered it, for a while, and come to the conclusion he had to stay at Hogwarts. Obviously. Yet if she hadn't been lying, and the call of the forest did overcome him, he had a problem. The unicorn's basic instincts were more potent than his logic and common sense. It wasn't really his body, just 'borrowed'.

Indefinitely.

-Hagrid, you're late! These Thestrals are making me mad. If you don't get me out of here, I'll likely turn into the new Voldemort and kill them all!- Harry serenaded the half-giant with a wave of complaints. While he couldn't understand the unicorn stallion, it felt good to Harry to speak English.

Hagrid chuckled at the enthusiastic neighs.

"Do ya know wha day it is, then? Easy there! Ya aren't healed all the way! Canna have ye runnin' off on me."

-What's that supposed to—Oh no- Harry glanced down to the bundle he carried. It jingled slightly with each step, and Hagrid raised it closer to his face when he was next to the stall. The bridle, a lovely piece of black leather, was certainly delicate. However, one sniff and the magic spelled into its buckles burned down his throat. There were so many spells of keeping on it that Harry nearly passed out.

-I mean it, no!- Harry tossed his head, banging his horn uncomfortably on the ceiling. Wincing, he shook off the stars in his eyes and the water blurring his sight.

"Easy there, boy. It ain't gonna hurt ye!" Hagrid cried, pained to see the clearly hysterical animal. "Its okay, there, easy! Easy now!"

"Hagrid? Do you need help?" The hesitant, female voice drifted down the barn, reaching Harry's ears. He immediately stopped flailing, head perked. Unwittingly, he propelled himself to see out the stall.

-Hermione?!-

Hagrid, not one to miss a chance, struck. A swoop of his hands and he had the buckle latched. Stunned, the stallion blinked. Wha… He moved and an unfamiliar weight pulled his face down slightly. Feather light, it dragged at the skin behind his ears, and lay precisely beneath the base of his horn. In his peripheral vision, Harry caught the glimmer of polished leather.

"There ye are, ya brute. Come on out. Stand back now, Hermione," Hagrid called, unbolting the stall door. "All ye, move away. He'll be ah runner!"

Still out of it a bit, Harry saw the stall door swing open. It was a foreign thing, to see freedom so carefully contrived at his feet. Lowering his head and blowing heavily at the stone aisle way, he gradually placed a hoof forward. Colder than his straw bedding, it caused a certain firmness that was strikingly safe.

-Right. Just a little concrete, nothing big- Harry reassured, and lunged into the open barn. Thestrals snorted and rattled in their stalls uncertainly, finally catching a full glimpse of the unicorn. The raw magic that radiated off his coat and horn was purely light magic.

Rolling the whites of his eyes, Harry stiffened. His hooves were now a separate part of his body, clanging alarmingly. Easy Harry! It's your hooves making that sound! He dropped his head, staring suspiciously at the ground. When he lifted a leg and dropped it, the same sound resonated. Problem solved.

"Oh my…"

-Hermione- Harry gasped, having forgotten his friend's presence. Turning slightly, though it felt weird to turn sideways to do so, shadows pulled away from the light. Hermione, hair still bushy, had covered her mouth with two shaking hands, awed. Draco, Remus and Sirius hovered behind her, staring blatantly. The werewolf was taken aback, amber gaze flinty.

-Draco!- Harry laughed, but reining himself instantly. There was no recognition in his gray eyes, not the soft emotion he often gave the petite wizard. There was only a unicorn before him, pawing the stone and taking in the surroundings.

He certainly didn't care for the animal, however immortal.

Turning his gaze away before it became too agonizing, Harry smiled gently at his godfather. The man had a childish wonder on his worn face, a youthful gleam in his eyes. He was tugging on Remus's shirt, smiling and pointing.

"Remus! Would you look at him."

Hagrid scratched his head in confusion. He had never seen a wild animal that refused to run away.

"Ho there, boy! Out ye get!" He whistled, whacking his hands startlingly. Harry danced forward, before slamming into a full gallop. His hind leg constricted tightly but didn't give out. Hagrid's healing had done a miracle for Bellatrix's inflictions. There was barely a scar to outline his near murder.

Charging past the group of people, all four huddled against the wall, his hooves landed in fresh dirt. The feel of the earth was intoxicating. Whinnying, Harry twisted and changed direction, a scathing need for the magic of the forest rising. It had come from nowhere, and Harry struggled to pull himself up.

His body kept moving.

Harry fell flat on his face.

With a shout, he shook of the dust coating him and rose. Strange, there wasn't a root in the path. In the days he had been fleeing the Death Eaters, he had tripped only once, in the beginning of his change. Unicorns were born with a natural grace.

Hagrid's laughter, not unkind, floated on the breeze.

"Now there's somethin' ye don' see every day!"

Draco had come up to flank his right side, baffled.

"What stopped him?"

"His halter," Hermione replied, interrupting Hagrid. She had figured it out the moment it had been placed on his head, glowing an imperceptible white. "It's spelled to keep him within the wards of Hogwarts. Right, Hagrid?"

A ripple of relief burst in Harry while his unicorn mind would have none of it. Crying in disbelief, he ran down the length of the field, always held back by an invisible wall.

"Well, I'll leave 'im. Gotta feed Fang, and, ah, visit the forest a bit. You all be careful round 'im. He's a pretty thing, but wild." Hagrid said his farewells, hurrying off rather quickly. Hermione giggled secretively, knowing intimately where he was headed.

Harry narrowed his eyes, figuratively speaking. How dare he put a magical halter on him, and leave?

Too busy fuming, he hadn't noticed Sirius's approach. Apparently no one else had either, because a chorus of shouts arose. Observing the fugitive, feet from him, Harry tossed strands of black forelock from his eye. A similar awe had come over Sirius's expression that had previously belonged to Hermione.

Odd, but he knew why Sirius allowed the enthrallment. Caged in Azkaban for over a decade, forced to feed on terror and bitterness, the purity Harry exuded was mind-boggling. No unicorn could resist a tortured soul, especially one that had so much kindness remaining.

Harry couldn't heal him but his presence was like a salve, easing aches the man didn't realize he had.

-Hello Sirius- Harry greeted with a gusty sound. The man held out a thin hand, tanned from his new contact with the sun. Stretching his neck out, Harry allowed the pats on his nose. Telling himself not to spook as the others came down the incline, he sighed. It felt good to see his last living family member, unicorn form or not.

"But Hagrid said he was wild," Hermione said.

"Perhaps he caters to a different kind of wildness." Remus offered, and Harry pinned his ears. Recoiling, his muscles seized with adrenaline. The werewolf had an unmistakably stark smell up close. Sirius lowered his arm, puzzled by the drastic change in demeanor.

Remus seemed to understand, because he retreated.

"Sorry. I forgot I must be scary for a prey animal."

"Remy—" Sirius started, sadness coloring his face. Guilt washed over Harry, and bucking up, he took a deep breath. As a wizard, there had never been any problems involving his wolf tendencies. He refused to let them get in the way now.

Striding forward, barreling past Sirius, he nudged his nose hard into Remus's chest. He was touched by wild magic, old magic. Harry recognized it intuitively in himself. While his was gifted, or cursed, the unicorn had always belonged to it. Rejecting a fellow magic-user was foolish. Now I'm even thinking like a unicorn.

Basking in the joy on Remus's tired face, he hoped he wouldn't completely lose himself.

--::--

"I was looking through a book once, about an ancient Roman knight. He had a warhorse," Hermione said. "Black as night with courage to boot. The horse was named Ferox, which in Latin mean courageous, or arrogant."

By now she had caught everyone's attention. Lower in the field, out of hearing range, Harry was giving the sprouts of grass an evil glare. He was very hungry.

"It might be a good name for him, don't you think?" She asked, and Draco dropped the handful of mashed grass. Remus paused in his reading, looking toward the sky thoughtfully.

"Ferox. Yes, it has a certain majesty to it."

Face covered by his arms, sprawled inelegantly across the grass, Sirius nodded.

"Good pick, Hermione," Draco said, laughing when she ripped out a chunk of grass and tossed it towards him. He cried out indignantly, brushing from his blonde hair.

"No! It took me forever to get my hair right!" Draco whimpered. He had long since abandoned gel, instead letting his bangs fall in his eyes idly. About ready to simply chop it off three months ago, he had decided to keep it when Harry had complimented it.

Meanwhile, entranced by the lush greener around his hooves, Harry gave in to defeat. It wasn't like Hagrid would be supplying steaks or fruit. No need for them to think he was a carnivorous unicorn. It would raise some nasty questions.

Squinting his eyes, Harry took a large mouthful of grass and tugged. The rich taste of dirt lavished his tongue. With a mournful cry, he spat it back out, hacking up chunks of roots that had lodged behind his two back teeth.

-That was awful!-

The four blinked owlishly at the stallion.

"Well," Sirius exclaimed, having risen at the enraged cry. "He's a unique one."

Hermione grinned wanly, a shadow crossing her face.

"Reminds me a bit of Harry." Remus, having turned to stare, opened his mouth carefully. Surveying the unicorn, and recalling his first reaction outside the Great Hall three days ago, grunted under his breath.

"Yeah. Yeah, kind of."

Distantly, the distinct whistle of a train reached Harry's ears, disrupting his attempted graze. Hogwarts Express. At least I know what day it is. He mused, staring in the general direction he knew the train would arrive.

Dumbledore would be on it.

His magic was unique, for a human. Stretching through great distances, it saturated the atmosphere, rising to impossible zeniths. A drugged mood floated over his mind, calming. It pulled Harry's consciousness, mapping paths and ideas and lives in a string of loops. Albus Dumbledore was old and the Light on him tasted like ancient power. A power another one of his kind-no, another unicorn-might so possess.

-He'll know me. He'll know me, and he'll know how to fix this- That driving realization struck like a blow. Disregarding the consequences, as he so often did, Harry hurtled forward on swift hooves.

If he was not fast, Dumbledore would vanish inside the castle.

And hope would dwindle.

AN: WHERE THE HELL IS THIS GOING?! TT I HATE these kind of stories…