The Death OF Henry James Potter Chapter 2: death of a wizard, a harry potter fanfic

THE DEATH OF HENRY JAMES POTTER

CHAPTER 2!

DEATH OF A WIZARD!

Harry gaped at Dumbledore's super dead body.

"Well..." Said Hermione. "he's dead now."

And with that, she burst into tears.

"Look, Hermione." Said Harry, trying to comfort her. "Sometimes shit happens, and there's nothing you can do about it. You can either clean it up, or let it stink the house up."

"What?!" Asked Hermione, confused.

"The Dursley's got a dog last summer." Explained Harry. "And the dog wasn't house trained, I thought it would be a good compairison."

"You are drunk." Sang Hermione. She had ment to just say "You are drunk", but since she was also drunk, she sang it instead.

"That sounds like a good song!" Said Harry, getting out an electric gutar Ron had bought him for his birthday. What was cool about it was it looked like a regular gutar. But, like most magical things, it wasn't. You knew this when you played it.

"Poor Ron." Said Hermione, with a tear in her eye. "Remind me, was it me who accidently killed him or you. I'm too drunk to remember."

"Excellent lyrics!" Said Harry. "In honor of Ron!"

"You are drunk," He sang real loud and in the toon to "Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love" by Elvis, and playing his ELECTRIC gutar. "Remind me, was it me who killed him. I am drunk, I was too drunk to tell. Higher and higher, is my blood alcolal! What just happened is one big cload. Cuase' that whiskey came out o' fire! Like my street wise electric gutire! I think someboday died. While I was drunk! A just a hunka hunka burnin' drunk. I'm just a hinka hunka burnin' drunk!"

"How is Dumbledore alive." Asked Hermione. "Well... he isn't anymore, but why was he using pollyjuice potion to disguise himself as Snape? And why-" Her face broke off in tears. "Why would he try to kill you, Harry?"

"Your just filled with ideas for songs tonight, aren't you baby?" Said Harry.

"Bab-y" Sang Harry, plinging his gutar way cooly . "Baby, how are you alive? Though you, sad-ly, yet again are now dead! But why were-you trying to lie to-me? Why would do that to me, bab-y? Why would do it? And more importent-ly, why were you trying tooooooooooooooooo-kiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllllllllll-meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Baby, I know there's been lots of sadness. But a lot of good times, too. I don't know what happened. But I know, but I know, but yes I know, I still looooooooooooove yoooooooooooouu! Bab-y, why don't you lission to-me? Bab-y, don't you know I still care abooout yoou? Ohhh, bab-y! I can-not stant! I cannot stand! I simply can not live... without you, bab-y! Your lookin' at me sweet and-"

"Harry!" Said Hermione.

"How come your sensible Hermione again?" Asked Harry. "In the last chapter you were a crack."

"Cocktails make me act funny" Said Hermione.

"Yeah," Said Harry. "Cocktails make you very funny, your very good at jokes when your drunk, my baby witch!"

"Oh," Sang Harry. "I'm all lost in my cocktail. I should of known they'de be bad for me. I'm all lost in my cocktail, I can no longer party happily!"

"That's enough!" Said Hermione. "That's enough singing for me and the readers of this awful fanfiction!"

"Fine!" Said Harry. "No more singing!... for now." He said with a grin.

Before Hermione could say anything, someone burst threw the doors. It was Slughorn.

Harry frowned. "Is that really how your name is spelled?", He inquired.

"Oh, uh, Harry. Harry, me boy!" Said Slughorn. "I was just seeing if any refreshmints were still here."

"There's plenty of drink!" Said Harry, knowing what Slughorn really wanted. "Drink and get drunk, baby!"

"Don't mind if I do." Said Slughorn, helping himself to some vodka.

"Your supposed" Said Hermione, hiccuping, "Your supposed to mix vodka in some kind of other drink"

"Of course, I know that, silly bitch!" Said Slughorn, adding whiskey to his vodka. "What kind of fool do you think I am?"

All three of them drank some more, and some more.

"Wooo!" Said Slughorn. "I feel good!"

Harry was about to get out his gutar and sing another drunkin song when... he saw it.

Standing right behind Slughorn was, was, was, Hedwig!... but standing behind Hedwig was Voldemort!

"Harry!" Cried Hermione. "It's-it's-it's-it's it's your owl, Hedwig! It looks like she has a package for you."

Voldemort was making faces behind Slughorn, aware no one else had noticed him. Then, he pulled out his wand.

"Professor!" Screamed Harry. "Look behind you!"

Frightened, Slughorn slowly turned his head. Slughorn screamed, a pitiful, loud, scream.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" He Screamed. "Help! HELP ME! You have to help me, Harry! I have to get away! I have to get away somehow! Save me! I beg you! I just washed my hair! I don't want your stupid owl shitin' on it!"

"You mean." Said Harry. "You didn't see Voldemort?"

"Shhh! Don't say his name Harry! Of course I saw him! But I don't think he's going to kill anyone on Hogwarts grounds. I imagine he's just here to spy on us. Don't worry, Harry, I don't think he'll try to kill you just yet."

"AVATA KADAVRA!" Shouted Voldemort. A jet of super green light kicked Slughorn in the... he fell down dead.

"Next time." Said Voldemort, smiling and jestoring to the Scrimjore's dead body. "This will be you, Harry Potter."

And with that, he was gone. Harry guarded his... in fear.

Hermione yawned. "WHat happened, Harry? I passed out drunk."

"He killed Scrimjore!" Cried Harry, so drunk, he got his names mixed up.

"Hedwig killed the minister of magic?" Asked Hermione. "I thought she was such a nice owl."

Harry looked at Hedwig, he hadn't bothered to see what the owl had delivered.

He opened the letter attatched to the package. And read it.

"I will never forget how when you caused the near death of Voldemort 13, no, 15 years ago, no 16 years ago, everyone thought you were some powerful wizard. I had already had to put up with Voldemort getting all the publisity, but soon Voldemort will be dead and everyone will fear the far more powerful dark wizard of the north... or any derection. Yes, Harry, they will hail me! As the most powerful wizard that has ever lived or will ever live again. Sincerly, RAB

P.S.: No, I am not dead.

P.P.S.: Don't call me "rab".

P.P.P.S. Once I kill Voldemort, I will kill you!

P.P.P.P.S.: Or once I kill you, I will kill Voldemort.

P.P.P.P.P.S.: Whoever I can kill first.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: Or maybe I'll just kill both of you at the same time.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: Or maybe I'll let Voldemort kill you, then I'll kill Voldemort. To make people really scared. If Voldemort can kill the "grreat Harry Potter", and this new guy can just kill the killer of Harry Potter just like that, how powerful will he be?

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S.: But I'm probably going to just let you and old Volde kill each other. It's loads more fun!

Harry opened the parsol. Inside was the Hufflepuff Cup. Which holds, or used to hold, a part of Voldemort himself.

"Wow!" Said Harry. "It's cool to have something singed by a celebritory, but to have something that actuley contains part of the celebritory is something else!"