"People of Hogwarts" Shouted Harry at breakfast the next day. "Enough is enough. I've had it with these deatheaters!"
There was a pause.
"Join me today my brothers," said Harry, trying to take a different turn. "Wizards and witchs, friends and countrymen. Join me, my kin! Join me today, this morning as one army. One comunity. We shall fight as one. Join me and get all other good magic type people to join me. And together we shall make ONE army together. Then we shall fight in ONE great battle. A battle against all the bad magic type people. All of them. We shall destroy them once and for all. No more attacks, no more fear, no more bad ass wizards shitin' all over the place!"
The crowed began repeating it. "No more attacks, no more fear, no more bad ass wizards shitin' all over the place!"
"Again!" Shouted Harry over and over again.
"Again!" Shouted Harry over and over again. "And what are we going to do my bros and countrycrookmen?"
"Destroy. Destroy youknowwho." They repeated.
"At a boy, Harry!" Said Dumbledore, slapping Harry on the back with a twinkly in his eye. "I knew you had it in you!"
"DUMBLEDORE?" Said Harry, alarmed!
Dumbledore than turnned into the golit of fire, then vanished.
"What the crap!" Shouted Harry.
"Maybe the goblit of fire can tranform into things." Said Hermione.
"But the goblit of fire is dead." Said Harry, shooting his mug of beer with a caffeen spell, hoping that will help him get over being drunk. "What a wild night last night, eh, Hermione? I'm surprised we never had sex!"
"You never asked me." Said Hermione. "Thankfully."
"Being drunk made me forget." Said Harry, smacking his drunkin face. "Anyhoot, me need to get back to da army! Ohhh, Mcgonigle!"
Mcgonigle walked up to Harry.
"Mcgonigle!" Said Harry, "I need you to tell everyone at the order of the phoenix about my army and to tell someone at the order of the phoenix to tell everyone at ministry and for someone at the ministry to tell the miniter of magic and for the minister of magic to tell all of the other ministers of magic to tell all the wizards in the world that are good and to somehow get somone to tell the other side to ready their army and bring them to battle and for that bad person to tell volde so he can tell all the wizards in the world that are bad and tell everyone that the battle will take place at Hogwarts on the last day of the school year this year. Oh, and Ron's dead, at least I think he's dead. I was too drunk to remember."
"Harry Potty!" Said Mcgonigle, in a very stern voice that only Mcgonigle could dish out. "Uh, I mean Potter. Harry Potter! You have not only stayed up all night drinking under age-"
"The wizarding laws don't have a drinking restriction." Said Harry.
"They don't?" Said Mcgonigle. "Well, anyhoot, you were not only up all night the night before school began, but you disordered our breakfast trying to start your own little army! You have broken all 738 rules in the Hogwarts book!"
"I didn't break rule 257."
"Which one is that?"
"The rule that forbids you to have sex with another student on the hogwarts grounds." Said Harry, glairing at Hermione. "I could have broken all 257 rules within 12 hours if she had just reminded me!"
"Whatever the fuck!" Said Mcgonigle. "You have broken just about every rule you could except that one! And all I have to say is this. This is the best dang idea your little brain has ever had! I'm gonna make you both headboy and headgirl! And I'm gonna make sure this battle will take place the exact way you said you wanted it, baby! WOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"I think someone drugged her." Said Harry with big eyes to Hermione. "So, what about breaking rule 257? Right here. Right now. Right in front of everyone."
"I'm not drunk anymore, Harry!" Said Hermione sounding almost disappointed. "I would NEVER do something that stupid when I'm not drunk!"
"Well," Shouted Harry to everyone. "It's time to start training for the battle! When we fight, we never give up, we either save the world or die hard!"
He began playing some "hip" music on his gutar. "Yeah, baby!"
Harry could almost hear someone watching all of this and chuckling to himself. "Fools. Soon everything will go the way I want them to!"