Disclaimer: i dont own anything or anyone... unfortunately for me

A/n: this will be in Snape's point of view. Sorry it's so short. the lack of reviews is giving me writer's block. ahem hint hint.

That Potter boy was beginning to confuse me. As our (meaningless) lessons progressed, (damn Dumbledore for doing this to me!), I started to find myself thinking differently of him. I started second guessing my hatred towards him, noticing all his good qualities, and the stark similarities between us. Both of us had had horrible excuses for a childhood, and both of us had an insatiable thirst for knowledge. Once I had my stubbornness in control, I realized how intelligent Potter really could be if he put his mind to it. His determination and his willpower made him deserving of the heroic title placed on him by the media and by Dumbledore himself. I often argued with the Headmaster about whether he might be putting too much pressure on the young man to save the Wizarding world.

"The boy is only sixteen, Albus. The biggest concern of most his age is whether or not their crush likes them, and will they pass their NEWTS next year with flying colors, or be forced to work as the Garbage Collector at Saint Mungoes."

"Moving past who takes out the trash, I feel that Harry is more than capable of the task fate has so unkindly set before him. Whether out of a need to avenge the deaths of his parents or out of a sheer hatred and revulsion of evil, I don't know, but he is definitely in the right state of mind for this, regardless of his age."

"Headmaster, I disagree."

"Is this concern your showing for the boy, Severus? Because I thought that was a positive feeling, the likes of which you have sworn off when it comes to Harry." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled madly, a sign of self-assuredness that made me very uncomfortable.

"Concern? Hardly! It's just that I feel you are overworking me. If he is as ready for this as you say he is then why does he need my assistance? It's bad enough having classes with the brat, but to place us in such close quarters more often than necessary…"

"I never said he was ready for this, Severus. You know as well as I how unprepared he is, despite the mounting anger bubbling inside of him. Anger and emotion is not nearly enough in this case, I'm afraid. He needs to be trained and there is no one better for the job than you."

"But-but-"

"No buts, Severus. The two of you will have to deal with each other for now."

I let out a sigh of resigned anger and blinked my eyes for dramatic effect. "If I must, I must."

"It's for your own good, you know." Sure. Keeping eating your sweets, old man.

Harry was a puzzle to be solved, an intricate maze of emotions twisting and turning without end. One second I'd have him all figured out, the next he'd prove me all wrong, saying a kind word in response to my animosity or showing tremendous skill in an area I thought he had no hope in. The boy was full of surprises.

After only four months of training, Potter had grasped the most difficult of concepts. One night, he came down to my rooms on a mission. Make a fool of the Potions Master. Here I am only joking, for I don't truly believe that was his intention, but I don't buy that rubbish about "wanting a break". He wanted to play chess! Who plays chess with the person they despise the most on earth unless they want to beat them for some sly cunning purpose?

He completed his mission after an intense battle with a triumphant "CHECKMATE!" after which I proceeded to engage him in the most destructive duel of his life. My living room has never been the same.

I decided to challenge him with Legilimency for the first time, and he proved quite adept at that, too. At first I let him in, just to give him a taste of what it feels like to be inside someone else's mind. Then I felt him push past my barriers and into unguarded territory so to speak. I tried to block him, to kick him out, but he was better than I thought.

He saw the memory of my return to the light, my visit to Dumbledore.

When I was finally able to push him out, I expected him to be seething; all hopes for a better relationship were squashed. But he wasn't. He already knew, he said, about how I sold his parents to the Dark Lord. Well, that was a relief. But there was much I needed to discuss with him.

Over the course of the next few lessons, we talked, just talked. We discussed my experiences as a Death Eater, at least as much as I was willing to expose. He told me about his childhood and his hopes for the future.

"Number one on my list is to survive past age 18," he said, grinning sadly, "and even that's a stretch."

For the first time, I discovered that Harry Potter was not a stuck up brat who sought attention and loved playing the hero; he was a teenage boy who knew his destiny and had so much compassion for his fellow humans that he was willing to put his life on the line to save theirs. This was Harry.

I started addressing him by his first name in about February, something that feels oddly comfortable on my tongue, though still new, even now in May. He's really something, that boy. Man. He's a man.

I've become a whole new person because of this man, more caring, more open. It would sicken me, normally, were it not for the fact that this man is Harry, someone who has come to be my closest companion in recent months. I only wish things weren't the way they are.

There is so much about me that Harry does not know; he knows I am a spy, but he doesn't fully comprehend the job description behind that title. He does not believe me capable of the murderous cruelties I have committed, despite the fact that he's seen many of them through reliving my own memories. His aptitude for Legilimency has proved to be more of a curse than a blessing for me.

Recently, as in the last few days, I have begun to think of Harry in a somewhat-strange-way. His voice, his body, his eyes- they occupy my every thought. I cannot sleep at night knowing how far away he is. I cannot teach because I'm always thinking of him, and when he's there in my classroom, I cannot teach because I am trying so hard not to stare at him.

I have always known about my homosexuality, but I was never really concerned about it; there have always been bigger things to worry about. I never thought I was in any danger of having feelings towards anyone, because I never let anyone get that close.

Harry was different, so different. I felt my heart beat faster every time he entered a room I occupied. I mentally (and sometimes verbally) cursed myself for feeling this way. I had let myself go, and now things were getting out of hand.

Severus Snape doesn't open up to people like that, I chastised myself, why should famous Harry Potter be any different?! How could you let this happen, Severus? You idiot!

I was falling, very fast, for someone I could never have. Harry had his eyes on that Weasley girl. I knew that. I was 20 years his senior for god's sake! It was more than inappropriate; it was downright wrong, and I would not stand for it.

I went to Dumbledore, telling him that Harry didn't need any more training. He was grrat, fine, perfect (and so damn sexy!) and I felt there was nothing more to do.

Dumbledore saw right through me, as usual.

"Do you care for him, my boy?" he asked, not sounding the least bit surprised.

"Care for him, Albus? Of course I care; he's responsible for my fate as well as his own in this and I feel I have done the best I can. I wouldn't be saying it if it weren't true for I am concerned for my own life as well."

"Come, now, Severus, don't tell me that's all it is!"

"That's all it is, Headmaster." I will not tell you what you want to hear.

"You care deeply for him. I see it in your eyes when you look at him. When you hear his name, something lights up in them."

"L-lights up, sir? Do no liken me to a Christmas Tree at a time like this!"

"A time like what, Severus? A time when you feel vulnerable? A time when you've caught yourself off guard at your own emotions?"

"Headmaster, I do not wish to continue this conversation."

"Ahh, but alas, you have no choice. Whether we continue this or not, the truth is undeniable, your feelings are undeniable. You will continue with the lessons, Severus. Good day." Good day to you too, you sneaky little bastard.

A/N: REVIEW !!!!! if you want more!!