A/N: the first drabble is crack!fic. the second set of drabbles are more romantic and serious and have absolutely NOTHING to do with the first drabble at all. and yeah, i know i technically fudged a bit on the first drabble -- it's not really that person's first time -- but it's their first time with harry! hehe. hope ya'll enjoy!

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Everybody Remembers Their First Time (first time)

"Grip it tight," Harry said. "But remember, you have to be able to move your hands up and down the shaft, that's really important. Try varying the amount of pressure you use."

Near Harry's ear, Ron whispered nervously, "Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah, absolutely," Harry reassured him.

"Am I doing this right?"

"Twist your wrist a bit, near the top, when you pull up. And grip it hard when you slide your hands back down." Harry was flushed, breathing rapidly, completely excited.

Hermione landed her broom again. "How'd I do?"

"Not bad, for a first time flier," Harry smiled.

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Silence Is Golden (First Time)

Fuck, I can't do this! I want to, I want to so much it hurts -- but I just can't. I'm not ready.

No one but him has ever been this close to me, physically, mentally, emotionally. And I love him with everything that's in me. I'd die for him, kill for him.

But I can't bring myself to give him this one thing. He's my first, my ONLY love, and yet I just can't keep from shaking, sweating, and flushing a red deeper than his hair.

My eyes rush with tears. Oh, why can't I do this one thing?

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He's not ready yet, and he thinks I hate him because of it.

He couldn't be more wrong. It took us a long time to get to this point, and I won't push him.

He's scared as hell and shaking like a leaf caught in a high wind.

I push the damp hair back from his forehead and kiss his brow. "It's alright, Harry. I know how you feel, you're my first, too." I wrap my arms around him in a gentle and comforting embrace. "I don't need to hear the words to know that you love me, too."