AN: Okay, okay. This chapter's about twice as long as the last one. Yes, it goes in a completely different direction, but really, where would the story go otherwise? I have a big fat adventure planned. (And don't worry, I'd never deprive you of your BillyXMandyness!) So, read and enjoy.
Mandy blearily opened one bloodshot eye. Something was tapping her head, hard. She growled venomously and sat up. "Who the hell-"
A cold, bony hand covered her mouth. "Don't talk, girl, just get up."
Mandy ripped the hand off her mouth and tossed it aside unconcernedly. "Tell me what's going on," she demanded.
Grim was standing beside her bed, looking grave, scythe glowing ominously. He stooped for a second to pick up his hand. It reattached to his arm with a loud "crunch!" "I, uh, opened up dis random portal..." he began, suddenly sheepish. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.
"Go on," Mandy said coldly.
"And, eh, Billy was sorta- dere wit me... and, heh, now it ain't me own fault, but he-"
Mandy jumped out of bed. In an angry, lightning-fast flash, she ripped Grim's skull off and kicked the rest of his body away. "You let him through," she growled in his face.
Without waiting for an answer, she gave a bestial snarl and smashed his head into the wall. "Hey!" he cried out in pain. Mandy raised the skull high and brought it down as hard as she could on her pink bedpost, and it stuck there, the way a corkboard would be stuck with a pushpin. Grim moaned in pain as his eyes drifted shut. Mandy paused, forcing her slamming heart to slow down with each beat, and noticed Grim's body collapsed in the corner.
She took his robe off and took his bones apart. The robe she looked at carefully before pulling it over her own head. It fit her slender frame decently.
The pile of disassembled bones was much more entertaining. Mandy quietly put them back together- just, not in the proper shape of a skeleton: when she'd finished, they formed a vulgar yet unmistakable shape. She unstuck Grim's unconscious head then, placing his mouth over the top of the shape, and gave a cold, half-amused snort as she surveyed her work. He'd be in for an unpleasant shock when he awoke.
Mandy wasn't sorry. Grim deserved what he got.
The scythe leaned up against her bedroom wall, not quite forgotten.
Mandy walked slowly over to it and grasped it calmly. It was warm and vibrated slightly in her hold, and she gave a small smile as the power from it enveloped her hands, sending a warm, resonating feeling into her. The wood, as smooth as it was, didn't slip in her clutch.
She raised it high. Shhhing!
The green portal she'd opened swirled in front of her invitingly.
-GABM-
"Hey, you," Mandy said, prodding a giant, ugly blob with a yellow eye in the center of it.
"Uhhh, heyyyy," the being slurred slowly.
Mandy had teleported herself to an Underworld bar of sorts. The chamber was huge, dark, circular. Sickly green neon lights flickered on the walls. The floor was checked with black and neon pink, and the chairs and tables were elaborate and spiky, all behind a bar that appeared to be selling zombie five-year-olds vile alcoholic beverages.
The room was to her liking.
The blob Mandy was trying to talk to was hopelessly inebriated. It oozed slowly, and the substance it was made of was murky and unhealthy-looking. It had no visible mouth, but it found some way to speak- sort of. Mandy had a hard time understanding its blurry dialogue.
"Have you seen a small human boy? About yea high? Red hat, orange hair?"
"Ohhhh, uhhh..." it moaned. "I...uhhh, umm, uh-"
With that, the blob collapsed onto the floor, its eye dull.
Mandy gave a snort of disgust. Now she had to find some other nasty creature to question. The zombie child had passed out next to the bar, and its mother soon stumped along, singing in a loud, ugly voice, to pick up her poor child. Mandy shook her head at them. She wanted something sober.
The bartender, a scuzzy little man wearing a huge tophat with a detailed picture of Bettie Page pinned to it, would almost certainly be sober. Mandy drifted over to the bar casually.
"What can I get for ye, darlin'?" the man screeched at her, grinning. His teeth were each filed- or perhaps they were naturally like that- to a vicious little point.
"Information," she said quietly.
The man's smile disappeared by a few points. "It's a drink a question, darlin'," he hissed.
"I don't have money," snapped Mandy, equally as frightening.
The man laughed, and the noise was just as obnoxious and shrill as his speaking voice was. "There's a few unsuspecting blobs carrying money just over there, dear. Go earn some."
Mandy didn't hesitate in front of the bartender, but as she approached, she walked slower and slower. Who knew what those blob things were capable of? How many were there? She didn't mind starting trouble, especially to find Billy, but if something happened to her- well, there was no one else.
Mandy glanced behind her. The bartender was watching her and grinning maniacally. When he saw her looking, his grin increased and he waved a stubby arm at her. She ground her teeth in fury. He couldn't just smirk at her like that and expect her to fade into the shadows.
Mandy steeled herself and sprinted towards the blobs, hoping for their sake that they died quickly. They saw her coming and reared up, screeching. Mandy raised the scythe once again, feeling that unmistakable vibration of power in her hands, and brought it down with a clean, lethal swing. The blob divided in two. Mandy turned to the others, expecting the blob-halves to lie still or perhaps seep harmlessly into the floor. They did neither. Instead, they each grew into their own full-sized blob, and made shaky gurgling noises that couldn't have been anything but laughter. Worse, all the other blobs were now after her.
She growled at them. The scythe did more than slice. She raised it high and fired a fiery blast at the blobs. Perhaps they'd boil to death-
The blast deflected off their slimy skins. Mandy leapt nimbly aside, trying to think. They hadn't divided again, but they were obviously outraged. What did hurt them?
She quickly thought back to the one she'd spoken to- the poor, murky, disgusting creature. She grimaced. The thing was probably dead already from alcohol poisoning.
Poisoning.
She cut a neat, tiny slice in one of them. It whined at her and oozed as fast as it could towards her. She raised the scythe again and fired an acidic blast into the slice she'd given it. The thing grew murky, and began to make strange, weeping noises. It oozed off-course, rolled about, became sticky and bad-smelling. Mandy made quick work of the other ones. It was almost sad, the way they didn't stand a chance against her. She gave a mental shrug. That was the way the cookie crumbled. Save Billy. Kill a few other sentient beings. He was worth it, she thought simply.
She cautiously quartered them with the scythe. It really is a nice little toy, she thought, the wooden handle welcome in her hands. The eyeballs had a hardened, brittle exterior. Mandy shattered them.
A few coins dropped out of each eye. She stooped quickly and picked them up. Mandy had absolutely no idea how much they were worth. She tried not to betray her ignorance as she walked back up to the bar.
"Welcome back, honey!" roared the little man. "How about them drinks? What suits yer fancy?"
Mandy gave a glance at the neon menu hanging on the wall. She didn't know what any of them were. All of them sounded unpleasant. "I'll have a frenzied sharksplice," she said calmly, as if she's spent every day of her life ordering from Underworld restaurants, "with extra under-venom."
The bartender whistled through his pointed teeth. "Ah," he cried, "a risk-taker!"
Mandy's stomach churned. She didn't like the sound of that. And it frustrated her, how she could do nothing to the annoying little man but glare at him from the other side of the counter. He came back with her drink in an enormous glass goblet.
Mandy raised the glass to her lips, trying not to drink very much, trying to look dainty rather than afraid. The liquid slid down her throat and dizzied her slightly. "Right," she said coldly. "My questions."
"Question," corrected the bartender blissfully. "A drink a question, m'dear."
"Fine," Mandy snapped. "Have you seen a human boy, about this tall, neon orange hair, enormous nose?"
The bartender scratched his pimply chin. He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. "Wellll," he replied, obnoxiously slowly. "Yeah, come to think of it. Yeah, I did. Young man was prancing around, sniffing other monsters' drinks up that gargantuan nose of his and giggling stupidly. I think he was already drunk, though."
"No, he's always like that," Mandy said, weak with relief.
"Do have a drink, darlin'."
Comforted, Mandy absently tilted the goblet and took a giant swig. A few moments later she realized she probably shouldn't have- her eyes watered and she leaned up against the counter, woozy. "Tell me where he went," she demanded with some difficulty.
"Uh-uh! You haven't finished your drink, and you need to buy another one before I answer you again. So drink up, honey."
The scythe vibrated in her grip, reminding her. Tempting her. "Enough," she said, voice cold and crisp once again. She jumped nimbly atop the counter and pressed the blade against the man's dry white skin. "I told you to tell me where he went. If you know what's good for you, you will tell me."
The man gave his unpleasant laugh. "Put yer little knife down, angel."
Angel? Mandy was tempted to slice his head off then and there. She pushed it in gently enough to cut through his skin. "Tell," she said, raising her voice slightly.
The bartender raised his arms up in mock surrender. "Oh, I give in. How very clever of you."
Mandy almost lost her cool. Her face flushed a bit under her hood. She was glad he couldn't see her face. "Shut the hell up and tell me where he went," she demanded, voice dangerously quiet. The coldness made even the bartender's smile disappear.
He squirmed slightly. "You won't kill me," he said, voice desperately shrill.
"And why not?" Mandy deadpanned. "There are thousands more who have seen my idiot cavorting about. You aren't worth anything to me."
"Ooh, your idiot? Do you love him?" jeered the bartender nervously.
Mandy inhaled sharply. An image of Billy laughing appeared in her mind. Only yesterday she'd spent hours at his house, slapping his face and watching his unbelievably stupid antics. He was trying to get her to climb onto his roof. He was babbling on about the time he'd blown his cat up. He was giggling again. He was smiling sweetly at her.
He was holding her hand when she wanted to hurt him.
She snapped back to reality as the smooth wooden handle of the scythe was jerked from her grasp. She grunted and fell into the business side of the bar. The world pirouetted insanely as she was shoved to the ground, the blade of the scythe held at her throat by the demonic little man. "I'll take that as a 'yes'!" he screeched, and began to cackle, head tilted back evilly.
"Be careful," Mandy said in a total monotone. The man stopped cackling. Somehow, he'd heard her. Mandy wasn't surprised. People heard her when she wanted them to, no matter how loud she was. "I hate you more than you could ever imagine, now, little man. That's not something you want directed at you."
The man frowned at her. There was no doubt about it, now- he looked afraid.
"Go ahead. Kill me. Whatever dimension I end up in, alive or dead, I'll hunt you down. And eventually... you. Will. Suffer."
The man raised the scythe away from her. "Forgive me," he whimpered in his high-pitched voice.
Mandy stood, brushed herself off, and snatched the scythe away. "No," she said coldly.
She gave the scythe a little twirl. The man's face registered surprise.
Then his head slid off.
-GABM-
Mandy sat atop a turquoise hill, letting the slight breeze lift her bangs from her face. The bartender's blood had dried purple on the scythe's blade. Mandy had decided to let the blood of her victims dry on the blade, and show it to Grim later, to prove to him how bad he was at his job.
She tucked her knees under her new robe. Blood had gotten on that, too, but it didn't show.
The scenery was beautiful, in an eerie, demented way. The sky was black, with puffy, faintly green cloud formations. There were several rolling light blue hills, the tallest of which Mandy was now sitting atop. When she turned her head, she could see a twisted black forest to the right, where a bunch of ugly, undead creatures were loping about.
She put her head on her knees. She'd been walking about for hours, traveling from dimension to dimension, with no sign of Billy. Since the bartender, no one had even seen him. She glared at the strange horizon. She would find him. Since when had Mandy failed at- well, anything? She had to admit, though, she wished Grim was there to act as a guide. Grim would have had money on him at the bar. Grim would know what dimension to search in. Grim would probably have been able to negotiate with the bartender without killing him.
Ah, but there was Grim's problem, Mandy thought. He didn't want to kill people while negotiating. Yet- just maybe- threats weren't the best strategy, either. Killing someone generally didn't encourage them to spill their info.
Mandy needed to find someplace to sleep. She stood, stretched, and opened another interdimensional portal. And- who knew?- maybe Billy would be in this one.
She glared into the portal. That boy would get the worst beating of his life once she found him.
If you find him, that is.
Mandy scowled and stepped gracefully into the portal.