Title: Speak Up
Disclaimer: I'm not entirely sure if Sasuke and Hinata have even officially met in the series.
Rating: PG-13 ( T ) – Cause it's about to turn pervy.
Spoilers: Umm...I guess I've given away that Sakura becomes a medic-nin, does that count?

Summary: Naruto shook her off and confronted Sasuke again, "Not until he apologizes and promises to leave Hinata-chan alone!" SasuHinaNaru.

See? I didn't forget...

Chapter 10: Call Me

"This is stupid..."

Buzz-t.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at Sasuke's distant back, jutting his lip out in a derisive pout. Dipping his fingertips into his ear canal, he depressed a small button within and replied "If you're going to say that every time, then I'm going to stop helping and let you go embarrass yourself." The static from the miniature communication device sizzled against Naruto's eardrum, vibrating within his skull. An unrelated headache was beginning to throb between his temples. "And say 'over' when you're done talking. Over."

Buzz-t.

"Hmph. What a ridiculous waste of time."

Buzz-t.

"Just say it, Sasuke-teme. Over."

Buzz-t.

"I'll look like I'm talking to the little green government men living in my head if I say it. Most of the village already thinks I'm out to cannibalize their children."

Buzz-t.

"Hey, dog-breath was the one that started that rumor, not me. Over."

Buzz-t.

"I'm still not saying it."

Buzz-t.

"Say it or we abort. Over."

Buzz-t.

"You're an idiot."

Buzz-t.

"Say it. Over."

There was a short pause before Sasuke's irritated voice crackled through the static-ridden two-way radio. "This is stupid. Over."

Buzz-t.

"That's more like it." Naruto snickered. "And my plan isn't stupid, stupid. It's going to work. Over."

Buzz-t.

"You said that the last time. Over."

"And it worked. Sort of." Naruto rubbed a sheepish hand against the back of his neck, grinning lopsidedly. "Over."

Buzz-t.

"Yeah, except now she thinks that I find her ugly. Over."

Buzz-t.

"That's why we're doing this. There's no way that she'll think that you think she's ugly if my plan works. Which it will. Over."

Buzz-t.

Another long pause of static snapped and popped over the airways. "Somehow, I'm not convinced."

Buzz-t.

Naruto was beginning to feel annoyed by Sasuke's negativity. Reminding himself that his future with Sakura rode on Sasuke's happiness with Hinata, Naruto took a deep breath and willed his nerves to stop rubbing against one another. "Look, just trust me, okay? All you have to do is make one little phone call and Hinata-chan will forget the whole bathhouse thing, realize that she's in love with your grumpy-ass self, and everyone will live happily ever after. Over."

Buzz-t.

As an afterthought, Naruto depressed the little button within his ear again and said "And say 'over' when you're done talking, you bastard. Over."

Naruto brought his binoculars up to his nose and peered through the eyepieces, fervently wishing that the second phase of their "Get-Hinata-chan-to-love-that-stupid-creepy-bastard-Sasuke" (or GHLSCBS, for short) mission were also taking place at a location at which women felt comfortable getting naked with one another. Instead, he was staking out Ichiraku's Ramen House, which didn't do anything for him from the branches of a tree.

"This is all for Sakura-chan," he reminded himself over and over as he watched Sasuke lift the flap of material over the entrance to the ramen shop. The Uchiha meandered inside at his usual lazy pace and approached the counter, as planned. "All for Sakura-chan..."

"Are we in? Over."

"Yes."

Buzz-t.

"Over," Sasuke added.

Buzz-t.

Naruto grinned and swept the immediate area for possible dangers to the mission objective. No ANBU...no Sakura...no creepier-than-Sasuke Team 8 rejects...perfect. "All clear to proceed. Over."

Buzz-t.

"What was the number again? Over."

Buzz-t.

Naruto groped through all of his pockets before locating a scrap of paper with barely-legible numbers scrawled across it. Naruto reported them to Sasuke, eyes narrowed in an effort to identify them. "704-346-831...2? Could be a five. Over."

Buzz-t.

"I'm feeding you the signal now. Over."

Buzz-t.

There was a series of metallic clicks and beeps before the signal cleared and a soft, computerized ringing thrummed over the line, uninterrupted by manual interference. Thanks to the little eavesdropping device that Naruto had bribed Konohamaru to "borrow" for him from Iruka, listening in on Sasuke's call would be disgustingly simple. If the Hinata-lovin' creepazoid messed up, it would be even simpler for Naruto to override Sasuke's signal and take over. Not that Sasuke knew that, of course.

After about three rings, there was a soft click, a moment of dead air, and then someone on the other end of the line answered. "Hi, thanks for calling the Yama – "

The signal cut out for a few seconds, obliterating the feminine voice at the other end of the phone line. With a couple curses and a few adjustments, Naruto clarified the conversation again.

" – speaking. How may I help you?"

Sasuke replied instantly, carrying on through the technical difficulties. "Hey, baby. I've been thinking about you."

"Who is this?"

"You know me." Sasuke paused, as instructed, for effect. "I'm in your bed every night while you dream."

"Tell me who you are or I'm calling the cops, freak."

Sasuke laid it on thick with the sultry voice they'd been practicing. "I'm your destiny, kitten."

"...Sasuke-kun? Is that you?"

Naruto frowned, drawing his eyebrows together in the center of his forehead. Since when did Hinata call Sasuke anything other than "-san"?

Sasuke didn't respond for a few seconds. When he did, his voice had returned to its usual cold, suspicious timbre. "Who is this?"

"It is you, honeybunchkins!" There was a piercing squeal over the line. Naruto had to remove the earpiece from his ear canal before it rendered him deaf.He turned down the volume before putting it back in. "It's so sexy that you called me at a public place, you naughty, naughty boy, you! You really shouldn't talk dirty while I'm at the flower shop, though. My parents could be listening in!"

Naruto waited for Sasuke to butt in and cut the girl off, but he didn't. Taking another peek through his binoculars, he could see Sasuke within the ramen shop, holding his own earpiece as far away from his head as possible.

Technology had its down sides, Naruto decided. As cool as their little spy-gadget was, filtering the sound through the ear buds and directly into their ears had proved to be a dangerous health risk.

"So why don't we save this for tonight and – "

Click.

There were a few brief seconds of muffled rustling as Sasuke returned the earpiece to its proper place. "It wasn't a two, dobe," he snapped.

"Yeah, I got that." Naruto combed through his unruly spikes with his fingers and sighed. "Try the five."

"You forgot to say 'over.'"

Snarling in a very canine-way, Naruto snapped "Shut up and try the damned five!"

— — —

Authors Notes: I hope that nobody feels shortchanged because this chapter was mostly dialogue. What can I say? Dialogue is my favorite part of writing n.n

For those of you who didn't catch my hints, Sasuke and Naruto accidentally called the Yamanaka flower shop. I couldn't find a way to give Ino's name without the dialogue sounding stupid, so I hope that most of you got it. Those of you who didn't manage to catch it can go back and look for the context clues.

Sorry I didn't update last week n.n; My birthday was on the eighth, my exams ended on the thirteenth, I left for Michigan on the fifteenth, and I was visiting with my boyfriend's family for most of last weekend. I've been writing for the last couple of days, hence the rest of the delay. Suffice to say, I've had a busy week and a half n.n; I didn't forget my chapter for a single day, though, rest assured.

Also, there is a second part to "Phase Two" of the "Sasuke-Loves-Hinata" mission, so don't worry; more hilarity is coming. I just wanted some of this one to be in Hinata's POV (it'll be funnier that way) so I chopped the segment in half. I expect to update in another week.

I'd guess about three to five more chapters to go before this story is utterly complete. I've got a sequel in mind, so don't think it ends there.

Augh, long Authors Notes. Sorry. Un-beta'd.

. ( . Ms Videl Son . ) .

– Love can be black and white. SasuHina.