Chapter 3: Memories
I remember it so clearly. Walking on a cool night to Lily's house; knowing that Parker was there, knowing that Lily's parents were out of town for the night, but not knowing that Robbie would be there. I remember I was just in a fight with Parker and I wanted to talk to her about it and make things okay again. We had been getting in little fights, because I was going to a college that was a little over an hour away and she didn't want to be away from me. I remember that I was going to tell her that I changed my mind, and was going to the same school she was going to.
I remember knocking the door, hearing a couple laughs and silence. I remember thinking "Oh, they're probably just too drunk to come to the door" and letting myself in. I remember walking past the hallway, into the kitchen, hearing some bottles open. I remember walking into the room, and seeing Robbie and Parker embraced in a passionate, teenage make out session, while Lily was eating some pie. When I walked in, I remember Lily looking at me, with a drunken grin on her face, and slurring, "You were never that good of a couple anyway..."
Robbie and Parker broke apart and Parker looked at me with her wide eyes and started laughing, laughing, laughing, crying out, in between cackles, "Oh, R-Ray, is that you? No, this..."
I remember feeling crushed and hurt and frustrated and betrayed. I remember trying to control my anger as Lily told me, "She wants to break up with you, Ray. She doesn't like you anymore."
I opened my mouth, but I couldn't speak. All I could do was stare at Parker, who was still trying to form sentences. I had to turn away and then I started for the hallway. I remember her screeching, "Rayyyy!" then coughing and the disgusting sound of throwing up. I opened the door and walked away, past the Underground, past Mickey's, past my house. I remember thinking, "Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. What happened? Why did she do that?" over and over and over and over and over. Then I couldn't walk anymore, so I sat underneath a tree and cried.
--------------------
It was only a few weeks until graduation, but it was still so hard to avoid Parker. It seemed like it she was everywhere. There were lots of times where I was walking down a busy hall and saw her in the crowd and had to take cover in a nearby classroom so I would not pass her. I had lots and lots of messages on my cell from her, begging me to give her a chance to explain. She would leave notes in my locker, asking me to at least meet her to talk.
I never replied, and she finally started to give up. I tried to avoid speaking to Robbie or Lily either. But it always seemed like no matter how much I tried, Robbie would always track me down and try to talk to me. He would yell and me, tell me he was so sorry. Tell me that it was a mistake. Tell me that Parker and him had no romantic attachment whatsoever, and nothing else happened. Ever.
I would always shake my head and walk away but he would always shout after me, "You're going to regret this, Brennan!"
How did he know that?
--------------------
On the day of graduation, I wasn't really planning on anything big afterwords. Maybe a party, but I wasn't planning on having a good time. Just to go and say goodbye to everyone. After the incident, I hadn't much of a social life. I just stayed quiet and in the crowd, only cracking jokes if someone talked to me first.
When I got my diploma, I looked out into the audience, into my classmates. Some were crying, some were smiling. I saw Parker, and she looked at me with such regret in her eyes I thought she was going to cry. But she just smiled and nodded. I nodded back.
Then I turned to Mr. Waller and smiled and took my diploma. "Thank you," I said.
"Congratulations, Mr. Brennan." he replied.
Then I walked off stage, but not before glancing in my case and seeing the smooth, white paper. Then I grinned and shouted proudly, "It's in there!" And then I heard hoots of laughter, a "WAY TO GO" from my family, and lots of clapping.
After the ceremony, there was a lot of crying, picture-taking, and hand-shaking. Lily and Robbie both came up to me, but I didn't run away. I put my hand out and they both shook it. And, okay, I let them give me a little group hug. But we didn't say a word. Except for, "Good luck." Then we went back to saying goodbye to everyone else.
Parker, though, didn't come up to me at all. I wanted to go give her a hug, but I couldn't bring myself to.
--------------------
After graduation, I ended up going to University, but I hated it. I stayed in there, though. Met a couple of girls, but it always ended up in disaster. I didn't mind it much though. I just worked, ate, and slept. Then after four years, I graduated there. When I got my diploma, I forced a small smile, but when I looked and saw the paper was there, I didn't say anything. At college, I wasn't the funny one. There wasn't any point.
Then, I went to look for work. I got a nice office job, and found a decent apartment. It was crazy, though. I couldn't stand being alone. The quiet. It's not a great thing, being alone with your thoughts. They tend to make you insane.
So, I posted a sign saying that I needed a roommate. I got two; Hayden and Greg. They were so loud and crazy, I couldn't say no. Also, when they moved in, I got a neighbor; Misty. She was best friends with them and was forced into moving because they wanted her there.
It kind of reminded me of me, Lily, and Robbie, back in the day. And I was the Travis in the group; new and quiet and strange.
A couple of weeks after they moved in, I was happy. Happier than how I was in college, at least. They were my friends; they cheered me up, they gave me advice, they took me drinking...They laughed when I told them about Parker. They told me I was a fool, they told me I should have ran after her, they told me I was hopeless.
Usually that would make people angry or something. But it just made me laugh, because it was so true.
--------------------
BADABADABOOM! This was like a memories chapter. Boring, yes, but it needed to be done. Gotta know why the hell Ray's not talking to Parker and why he's hanging out with Mistay.
Next chapter, we see Swami. And Question Mark. And Shady Lane. I'll give you a little preview: they get together and RAPE RAY!
Knotreally. More like, awkwardness. 'Cept not with Trav, 'cuz he has no clue what's going on. (He left, 'member?)
Kso...BYE!
Love, Allie