The Backstage Raccoons Chapter 2
Written by Brother Ralph
Just half an hour later the three raccoons were waiting in a queue being let into the disco, which was blasting out dance music. It was a very cold night and their breath was hanging on the air despite the coats they all wore. Melissa began to shiver and stood a little closer to Ralph. She started exaggerating her shivering, secretly hoping that Ralph might notice and put an arm around her or something.
Oh my God Melissa, what's come over you? Are you really that desperate? She thought to herself silently.
'Hey, Melissa, you're shivering. Are you OK?' Ralph asked.
'Aww. Come give your buddy Bert a hug, I'll get you warm girl.' Bert said engulfing her in his arms.
'Thanks Bert' she said, hiding the disappointment but genuinely glad of his warmth. Still, she thought to herself, you've got some good friends here.
The group infront of them were let in and as they moved out of the way the bouncer came into sight for the first time.
'Schaeffer! Hi! What are you doing here?' they asked in surprise.
'Oh, hi gang. I work here some nights.' He said 'It's a good second job. Me and the wife are saving for a nice little holiday home in Spain we spotted.'
Still holding Melissa Bert asked whether he could join them, but unfortunately he would be working the door all night. He let them in, jokingly warned them not to cause trouble, and said he'd see them soon. Once through the door Bert finally released Melissa, who had begun to feel a little claustrophobic.
'Bet you wish you were Schaeffer,' Bert said to her, 'He didn't even have a coat on; his fur alone is good enough!'
The group hung their coats on their chairs and sat around a circular table while Bert bounded off to the bar. When he came back he was carrying three pints of Fox Ale with the practised hand of someone who knows how to hold three brimming pint glasses without spilling a drop. Melissa wondered how fast that practised skill would deteriorate once drinking began.
Ralph shot him an annoyed look, 'Bert, you could have asked us what we wanted first!'
'But Ralph, Fox ale is our favourite!'
'No Bert, fox ale is our favourite. Melissa may have wanted something else.'
Bert looked like he was going to quarrel until Melissa stepped in and said that fox ale would be fine for her. Bert sat down opposite Ralph with a victorious smile.
'Now Ralph, you know what you've got to do with the first pint.' Bert reminded him.
'We're not at college anymore Bert.'
'The rules still stand my friend. The faster the first one is out of the way the faster the fun begins.' With that Bert began to drain his ale. He took it all in one go.
Ralph watched with a nostalgic smile, remembering the fun the two of them had had in the past this way. When Bert eventually surfaced and placed the empty glass on the table he winked at Ralph.
'Don't worry if you can't match it any more, buddy. I know you haven't been drinking for a while.'
It was all the provocation Ralph needed to follow suit, draining his in a single go as well. Bert cheered him as the empty glass joined his on the table. But there was still one full glass on the table, and they both looked at Melissa.
'Wow, you two went drinking a lot in college?' she asked, trying to delay what she thought was coming.
'Only every night' Bert claimed with a hi-five to Ralph, though they all knew that was an exaggeration. They'd never have afforded it for a start!
'You don't have to down it Melissa,' Ralph told her, 'It's just a little ritual me and Bert have.'
'No, it's Ok, I want to' she said. I really don't! said the voice in her mind. Determinedly she took hold the glass and began to drink. Turned out she quite liked Fox ale too, but it was a little strong to drink in this fashion. She had known she wouldn't make it in one, she had to surface for air twice before the glass was empty. When she had finished her two companions placed one hand on each of her shoulders. They looked into her face with a serious expression, then looked at each other, then looked back at her.
'Welcome to the family.' They said together. Then they smiled and laughed and she smiled with them. She had felt welcome ever since joining the cast, but she knew this was a turning point. She was no longer just welcome, she was one of them.
Bert bounced off saying 'same again!' before Melissa could change her order. While he was gone Ralph said, 'Don't worry, the second pint is much slower. We just get the first one down that way, and then we drink a bit more sensibly.'
Melissa hoped he was right as she could already feel the alcohol moving though her. She wasn't used to its effects and knew she had a fairly low tolerance for it.
When Bert came back she relaxed a bit more as it turned out they really did slow right down. They sat and talked about the show and about the other people in it. They talked about the raccoon that played Melissa in the specials and how off stage she was really high and mighty. No-one had really liked her much. They were onto their third drink now and they were starting to get that warm and fuzzy feeling where everyone is your best friend. They talked about how much better Melissa fitted in with them, and how the crew and everyone really liked her.
There was the real danger of things getting soppy when the mood was interrupted by a bunch of rowdy foxes that came in and started causing a major party on the dance floor. One of them stopped her dancing long enough to wave an acknowledgment to the raccoon table and Ralph raised his glass in response.
'Who's that?' Melissa asked, noticing how attractive the female fox was.
'That's Vixen. We met at an audition for the 'Animals of Farthing Wood'.' Ralph told her.
'Wow, you were in that? I heard it was a really good film!'
'Nah. I was good enough to get the part, but they still turned me down. Apparently they only wanted animals 'native to the UK'. I mean that's…well…it must be speciest or something!'
'Yeah, Ralph was really bitter about that. Hey Ralph, what did you say her name was? Vixen? She's looks nice Ralph, what's she like?'
The three of them looked over at her and she was dancing very flirtatiously with one of the male foxes from her group. She was a good dancer; taking every opportunity the fast track music gave her to make suggestive moves with her body, even using flicks or strokes of her tail to entice the male.
'She's just your type Bert.' Ralph asserted bringing his attention back to the table.
'And who said I was interested?' he asked defensively
'You're always interested,' a sly smile crept between the two of them.
'Perhaps she's why you were so disappointed not to get the part?' Melissa added suggestively, trying to probe information from Ralph.
'Nah.' Ralph dismissed it, 'it was a good part but it wasn't everything. Mind you I do get annoyed about the whole speciest thing. There's hardly any TV work for Raccoons these days. If you want to get ahead you need to be a monkey, then you get selected as the annoying sidekick loads.'
'Not to mention the pirate movies' Bert added.
'Schaeffer seems to be doing alright.' Melissa observed 'Holiday home in Spain, doesn't sound bad.'
'Yeah, he deserves it. Good man, Schaeffer. Dogs get loads of work too. Everyone loves a dog in their film. Who wants a Raccoon as the friendly family pet?'
The conversation went on and Melissa learnt a great deal of her two new friends. She hung on Ralph's every word and found herself captivated by him. She kept trying to pull herself out of it, reminding herself that despite it all she had still only known him for a week or two. Reminded herself not to be too hasty. She started making a list in her mind of his bad points and good points. In her bad points she had 'He smokes' and nothing else. In the good section she found there were too many points for her to remember them all. She'd even added to the good points 'she likes a challenge' referring to the challenge of getting him to stop smoking.
Bert came back to the table with the fifth round of the evening and Melissa was finding the room was starting to swirl. She speculated that Bert and Ralph were starting to show the effects too, so perhaps she wasn't doing as badly as she had thought. Her liking of the Fox ale was growing, or was she just getting drunker?
Bert opened his hand in the middle of the table, revealing three white pills standing out against the black of his paw. He gave the others a conspiratorial wink as he swallowed one.
'Ideal!' Ralph said with a slight slur, and swallowed the second tablet. The third one came to Melissa but she shook her head fervently, horrified at what they'd done.
'Come on Mel! It's just a couple of E's. I'd reckon pretty much everyone in the rooms got one flowing round 'em. Get's you in the mood for a party.' Bert said holding out his palm for her.
Melissa still silently refused, unable to find words to refuse with. It looked like Bert was going to speak again, but Ralph spoke for her.
'Bert, don't pressurise her! You know we've done this stuff before, but it's a very personal decision. If she says no the first time then that's your answer.' His voice remained calm all the way through, and Melissa in her alcohol filled condition felt as though some act of great chivalry had just occurred. Bert nodded solemnly and gave Melissa a genuine apology before slipping the pill back into his own pocket. Then he tapped Ralph on the arm and said 'don't wait up buddy, I could be gone all night.' And with that Bert went for the dance floor. The other two laughed as he made a beeline for Vixen and quickly displaced the male fox as her dance partner. The other fox stopped dancing and stalked off looking thwarted, probably to order himself some beer and get drunk enough to forget the whole thing.
Once Bert left the table Ralph spat out a white tablet into an empty glass.
He smiled at Melissa, 'You'll have to forgive Bert, he doesn't know when to stop sometimes.'
'You didn't take it?' Melissa asked incredulously.
'No, I took one once and had a good time, but it's a risk every time you take one. That's why Bert loves them. Personally I like to have fun while staying safe'
'Why didn't you just say no?'
'And have Bert the nutcase know? No way! I can't let him think he's the only party animal in town, he'd become unstoppable! Not to mention that he'd say I'd lost my bottle.'
Melissa giggled at this 'Sounds like whoever cast you in the Raccoons did a really good job.' Ralph laughed too. They took their drink a lot slower without Bert there and had a fairly long and cosy talk. Melissa tried to steer the conversation towards ex-girlfriends he may have had, trying to politely find out if he was available without asking the trademark 'So are you seeing anyone?' that would automatically alert him that she was interested and left her vulnerable to rejection. It wasn't a risk to take at this stage, she needed to keep playing with words for a while yet. But he seemed fairly closed on the subject of past loves, either that or he just didn't have a history of ex's. During their conversation Melissa saw Bert over Ralph's shoulder. He had an arm draped around Vixens shoulders and he seemed to be talking to someone else who was hidden from view by the crowd. He seemed to be trying to persuade them into something, and kept making encouraging movements.
A short while later Bert left Vixen at the bar and came over half leading, half dragging the confused and embarrassed meerkat Simon.
'Hey guys! Look who I found! It's Simon the camerameerkat!'
'Hi.' He said quietly, cheeks turning a bright red. 'Hi Ralph, hi Melissa.' he started to breathe a little faster.
The two returned his clumsy greetings. Simon turned to Bert and said 'well, Bert, I'd best be going now.'
'Nonsense you can stay for one little drink.' Bert assured him and putting his hands on his shoulders pushed him into his old seat.
They all sat in an awkward silence for a while. Then Simon seemed to take a breath and said all in one go 'I thought you looked really good on the set today Melissa especially when you got angry ha ha.' The nervous laugh at the end caught in his throat and may have been the only thing that ended his sentence.
'Er, I'll leave you guys to it.' Bert said, and just as he was leaving added 'Er, I think Vixen would like to say hi to you Ralph, you coming?'
'Really?' Ralph asked, 'I barely spoke to her at the audition.'
Bert elbowed him in the ribs, doing his best to be subtle. Ralph gave an 'ow' followed by an 'oh' of understanding before getting up and leaving Melissa alone with Simon.
She smiled at him and he smiled back. They both sat silently. She took a sip of her ale. The night dragged on. Gee, thanks Bert. She thought.