Thank you, everyone that reviewed!

:D

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"Talking in English" and 'Thinking in English' / "Talking in Japanese" and 'Thinking in Japanese'

DISCLAIMER: I didn't really mean that the Naruto-tachi were mine, I meant to say, that… that they… were MIMES! (does poor impression of mime in glass box) Ha ha ha… ha.

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Naruto was, to put bluntly, a excruciatingly humongous, clueless idiot. And it wasn't just Sakura who thought that, but also everyone in The Hidden Leaf. And The Hidden Waterfall of Sand. The Hidden Mist. Parts of the Bird Country. The WHOLE Rock Country. And of course, any other small towns, house holds, buildings, or fruit stands he had just happened to come across.

Not that he knew that EVERYONE knew.

And even though this observation was completely irrelevant, Sakura really did think Naruto held strange and striking similarities to foxes. Without the wit.

The (blinding) orange outfit, his intense curiosity, the way he squeezed his eyes shut when he grinned, and of course, the whiskers.

But these strange similarities and the analysis of Naruto's intelligence had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that, fueled by raw, idiotic curiosity, Naruto pulled down a curtain hanging in the dark hall way. Why? Does anyone really know? No.

Sakura didn't see it coming, Sasuke couldn't stop him, and Kakashi couldn't care less. Hell, even Haku, the Grand Ice Demon Speed King in all his feminine glory couldn't stop him from yanking down that damned curtain.

And apparently, under damned curtains, resided cursed paintings. Said painting had, probably after being exposed to the light, (because all demons hated the light), commenced in an unholy, evil screeching.

"Naruto, you idiot! That's a demon painting!" cried Sakura, frantically performing purification hand seals to protect herself from evil demon-speak as Naruto started repeatedly shouting the Japanese equivalent of, "The power of Christ compels you!" And of course, Sasuke watched in the immediate background.

It took the skinny, long haired man, the red headed man with glasses, and Kakashi-sensei to wrestle the unnaturally stubborn curtains closed.

Before disappearing into what appeared to be the dining room, Naruto shouted a loud, "This house is AWESOME!"

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"When I hear the word 'ninja,'" said Harry, motioning towards the four figures sitting at the end of the dining table eating buttered scones, "this is NOT what comes to mind."

Ron and Hermione both, at his sudden statement, lazily turned their faces in Harry's general direction. He thought it was odd that they both seemed, kind of, 'OKAY' with the fact that they were almost carried and off and killed by ninjas.

"Oh, I've been meaning to ask you, Harry. What's a ninja?"

"You're asking me NOW?"

"Oh yeah, you're right! I COULD have asked when I was tied up on the floor of my bedroom with a knife at my neck, hm?"

Hermione took that time to steer the conversation away from their recent near-death experience by answering Ron's question.

"Ninjas are like warriors, generally from Japan, who are trained from birth in the ancient art of shadows, serving people who pay them."

"Well, gee Hermione," drawled Harry, "now that you put it that way…"

Ron's face changed from curious to horrified in an instant, saying, "That has Death Eater written ALL over it!"

Mr. Weasley took that time to bust through the door, looking excited and out of breath.

"Quiet! Quiet everyone! We need to discuss business with our… guests."

"Dad, it's not like you can understand what they're saying, anyway."

It looked as if something had finally clicked in Mr. Weasley's mind.

"Ron! Get your mother! I just remembered something."

"What, Mum speaks gibber?"

"Japanese." corrected Hermione crossly.

"No, she's great at Charms, so she has to know a Translation Charm…"

Harry looked at Hermione, both of them wearing the same look, a look that clearly said:

'The worst has yet to come.'

And how right they were.

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In a fight over dominance between Sakura and Naruto, Sasuke didn't need to watch the fight to know who would to win. And today, it was over 'scones.' A pastry that was buttery and delicious and not too sweet. Not that he wouldn't die before voicing that.

But he only had one tasty scone, and all for the sake of the mission. He was too busy watching the 'Hari' boy with his insanely exceptional peripheral vision to eat anything, he knew Kakashi was doing the same, or maybe he really WAS reading porn? Bastard.

It wasn't long until the red haired boy brought down a large, red haired woman, probably his mother, who to Sasuke's light alarm, was holding a stick. The GoDaime had warned them to treat a stick in the face as you would a kunai by not allowing it to get that far, but in the off set it did, watch it's movements and attack accordingly.

"Kakashi… she has a stick." said Sasuke only loud enough for the Jounin's ears.

"Yes, I see. I was told not to take alarm from the people residing in the house."

"Then why did we ATTACK them?"

Sasuke was answered with silence, then the turn of a page.

The Uchiha Clan Heir decided to ignore his sensei, who didn't seem quite right in the head, (not that he ever did), and focus his attention on the large woman coming towards him.

She seemed to give some sort of greeting, catching the attention of Naruto and Sakura, and smiled to them. Sakura smiled back warily as Naruto gave his huge, trademark, 'I don't know what the hell is going on, but I'm happy anyway' grin.

The woman took this as her queue to do whatever it was that she had intended, which was wave her stick. The idea of her coming all this was to wave a stick mildly irritated Sasuke, until she said a word and materialized four button-pins out of thin-air, handing them one each. She gave a gesture that encouraged them to put them on, and they complied…even though Sasuke's button had a picture of a purple smiley face plastered on it.

"Kakashi-sensei! Why does mine have a boot on it?"

Sasuke suddenly felt that he actually liked his purple happy face. As long as it wasn't a boot.

"All set? Do you understand me now?"

Naruto fell out of his chair, Sakura dropped the scone she had just grabbed, and Kakashi turned a page.

But Sasuke, Sasuke kept his cool, and instead, gaped slightly.

"I can… I can understand you!" cried Naruto from his position on the floor. "Ah! I'm speaking some strange, gibbery language! How...how is this happening?"

The woman smiled knowingly, and said "Dear, the button-pins translate what you are saying, so that you speak our language, English."

"That's AMAZING! What else can you do?" said Naruto excitingly, jumping up from his position on the floor. "I want to learn that jutsu too!"

"Learn?" said the woman, slightly taken aback. "Well, dear, if you really want to, then I'm sure I can find some time in my busy schedule to teach you some things, but for now, I have to deal with cleaning the house." She then sighed forlornly in an overly dramtic way before saying, "…Alone."

Naruto looked disappointed, but quickly covered it up with a smile, which the woman returned with one of her own, asking them to call her Mrs. Weasley.

As soon as the woman left, the room fell uncomfortably silent, the only ones left in the dining room consisted of who he assumed was Mr. Weasley and the three kids that they had encountered before in the ambush upstairs.

It was Sakura that made the first move.

She walked over to the bushy haired girl, and said in a good natured voice, "Ah… We're… REALLY sorry about tying you and your friend up."

The red headed boy coughed indignantly.

"…And threatening to kill you."

The bushy haired girl smiled real friendly-like, and said, "That's quite alright! Mistakes like that happen… all the time? Welcome to the Order! If Dumbledore can trust you, then so can we!" The girl turned to the red headed boy to give him an evil look that could maybe rival Sakura's.

"I'm Hermione Granger, by the way."

"So you say your family name last, right? I'm Sakura Haruno."

"Nice to meet you Sakura!"

The girl, Hermione, held out her hand the same moment Sakura dipped her head in a bow.

They both laughed awkwardly for a moment, and the room fell silent again. Sasuke wished for a distraction, ANY type of distraction to save him from this room filled with awkward tension and dribbling idiots.

Unfortunately for him, it came in the form of a request.

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Naruto honestly didn't know that him asking to be taught the new jutsu would end up with him, and the rest of his four-man cell, cleaning an unbelievably dirty house.

Mrs. Weasley-obachan had said, and Naruto quoted: "Naruto, I could help you learn some spells faster if you help me first!" in a innocent, sing-song voice.

And how could he refuse? That was right, he couldn't. He had the habit of turning to pudding every time someone had asked him a favor with a smiling face and a kind voice. Especially women.

But at that time he didn't know the true horrors of that house, or the unholy creatures that resided within it.

The things that were alive but had to be dead by the afternoon included little, sooty, flying demons, dust creatures that bit at your toes, a two-headed crab that had locked himself in the upstairs bathroom, a goblin that went by the name 'Kreatcher,' talking mold, and two, red headed twin boys that appeared and disappeared randomly within the house, generally creating havoc.

But luckily, Mrs. Weasley-obachan had halted all cleaning for the day after Sasuke had katon housenkai-ed the hell out of the sooty-black biting demons in an act of uncharacteristic surprise, and getting a letter that announced something to do with Ron and the Bushy-Hair becoming what could be the wizard equivalent of chuunins.

The house lit up in cheers, the wizard population sincerely happy for their companions, and the ninja population sincerely happy for themselves, who didn't have to clean anymore.

And amongst the celebrations, Naruto recognized a smile that the boy, Harry, had plastered onto himself right from the beginning. One that covered suppressed feelings full of envy, self doubt, and deceit.

It was a smile that Naruto, at times, found himself wearing, and was shocked to see it worn by someone else.

Naruto noticed how he found himself following the Harry boy, using his unskillful stealth skills to the best of his ability. He had eventually ran into a bored Sasuke talking to a delighted Sakura, probably because Sasuke was actually talking this time, and they began to stalk Harry together.

Naruto saw him talk to various people, with the word 'Prefect' said repeatedly, he saw Harry scowl at his red headed friend, also repeatedly, and he watched as the strange wizard with an insanely abnormal blue eye that spun around in its socket randomly present Harry with a picture.

Harry then, plastered that familiar, replicated smile, and excused himself up the stairs.

Naruto and his cell-mates could do nothing more than follow, going up the hallway and up the stairs, past the glaring paintings with searching eyes, down three doors to the left, and bursting through the doorway, but not literally this time, led them face to face with a dying Ron.

Who turned into a dying Mr. Weasley, then another dying boy with red hair, and another, then a dying Harry…

"M… Mrs. Weasley!"

Harry bolted to the side of a huddled, sobbing Mrs. Weasley-obachan with speed that could mildly impress Lee. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were soon to follow.

"What the hell is going on?" cried Naruto, dumbfounded.

"Don't panic, its just a henge, we can take care of him easily."

Then the Harry boy, maybe in an act of heroism, jumped in front of Mrs. Weasley-obachan, and the dying red head became something entirely different. But Naruto couldn't tell if it was a henge or if had just changed back to what could be it's original form.

The thing was a tall, skeleton thin creature, covered with a black, ragged cloak who's frays fluttered in the breezeless room, it chilled Naruto's bones, and apparently Harry's too. The other boy seemed frozen, wide eyed and mouth slightly agape, only to quickly change to a determined glare as he moved to draw his wand. But Sasuke, at his defense, jumped in front of Harry before he could even begin to show any bit of emotion mildly resembling surprise.

Sasuke's body, from the hair on his head to the toe nails on his feet, tensed up in a fraction of a second after he laid wide, enraged eyes on Itachi.

Itachi, wearing his black and red-cloud Akatsuki cloak, stared at his younger brother, somber face blank amidst the blue-electric glow of a developing Chidori.

A thousand birds sang as Naruto felt his heart skip a beat.

Then Sakura jumped in between the two Uchiha, her arms spread wide at an attempt in creating a human shield, just as the older brother moved to strike.

Sasuke's pained rage turned to bewilderment as he found himself, through the junction of Sakura's neck and shoulder, staring face to face with… himself. Sasuke's Chidori died in his palm as he studied his other self. The duplicate was smiling menacingly, eyes stained red with the Sharingan and dark curse marks crawling from the seal and curling themselves around the left side of his body.

Naruto, knew what was happening now, and being the only Genin who hadn't jumped ahead with the intention of saving someone, did just that.

But he wasn't surprised by what he saw.

The Kyuubi.

He saw the evil, laughing eyes of the Kyuubi, all nine tails lashing, and giving off a thick red chakra that licked the surrounding air before dissipating in the silent room like steam from a bowl of ramen.

Naruto's knees buckled, and he hit the ground. Looking away from the Kyuubi, he saw that Sasuke and Sakura were doing the same. His body was igniting with the same agony that he had experienced during the Circle Transmutation, it tore at him, but he refused to scream. Naruto wrapped his arms around his body, and turned his attention back to the Kyuubi.

But he saw himself.

He saw himself bearing a familiar pained expression, with red, tainted eyes and viciously elongated fangs, shirtless, gripping the swirling seal on his belly so intensely that it dripped blood.

"Riddikulus!"

And he vanished in a puff of furling smoke.

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