AN: On one hand, I'm happy as all Hell for the reviews, suggestions, compliments, light criticism, and 'update soons' (which I did for those of us starting school tomorrow), but on the other hand... I got less for last chapter then I got for chapter six! (TT-TT) Wah! I shouldn't have made the last one so angsty, but I had to! This chapter doesn't have much (or more like ANY) humor either. Its all story and character development... AAGH DONT HURT ME! Its actually not a very eventful chapter... it may even be downright boring... but I had fun writing it and thats all that matters.

Also, the way I sorted the teams up may create some people to think 'WHAT THE FUCK?' and stop reading and reviewing, but it makes sense to me. And for future reference, I know Hufflepuff can be useful sorting wise, but I just don't like that house. Yeah, I know, if there was such a thing as 'housist' I would be.

And in the last seven chapters, I forgot to tell you all that if you have any questions that you would like me to reply personally, then please, tell me specifically in a review, or I'll just end up answering them in bulk in an AN.

OMFG SUDDEN EDIT: I forgot to add my special thanks! So thank you to Morena Evensong (again), Christine (again), Yuume Li, Merkitten, CoughHackChokeDie, and RetaroO (who I found out lives 15 minutes from me! Awesome!)! And to all my other reviewers! You guys all made me update a few days earlier. Seriously.

(1) Direct quote from the book. Yeah, lazy. I had to crank this out before school started, okay? Don't expect a speedy update either.

(2) Omake: Bonus feature. Ive decided to put one at the end of every chapter.

x

Shikamaru wasn't a impatient person, honestly, he could pretty much wait for anything no matter how long it took as long as he had the sky to gaze at.

But quite frankly, this sorting was taking an awfully long time.

Ino had just been sorted, looking slightly unnerved not unlike the others before her. Most of the shinobi after being sorted had either jumped off the stool quickly to meet their new table, or slowly got up to sit in a brooding silence. Ino had done the first. As she took her seat, the chuunin in the audience expelled the breath he didn't know he was holding. He was seeing a repeating pattern in the shinobi sorting... a very troublesome pattern.

Shikamaru, along side Kakashi, was the only ninja left standing in the crowd, his comrades going before him to sit at their new tables. It had first been Naruto (compliments of his huge, obnoxious mouth), then Sasuke, then Sakura... Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Lee, Neji, Tenten, Chouji and finally Ino. And of course, Shikamaru remembered the order of the sorting. Not only was he intellectually capable of doing so, but they had gone in order of teams, making it easy to recall.

"Shikamaru Nara!"

And now it was his turn.

The chuunin gave Kakashi a lasting look before lazily sauntering through the crowd over to the stage that held the stool and the singing hat. He had to admit though, he was at least a little curious as to how the hat choose which house one belonged in. He was sure it had something to do with telekinesis, he saw, on more than one occasion, the shinobi's lips moving, as if conversing with the damned thing.

But no matter what it was, he was sure it would prove to be quite troublesome.

Shikamaru sat. The hat was placed on his head, (with a little difficulty due to his very stylish pony tail), and he waited.

'My, my!' chuckled a voice deep in the back of his subconscious, 'Such a mind!" Shikamaru smirked. Telekinesis it was then. 'You are quite the sharp one, I see.'

'Why thank you, hat,' thought Shikamaru. 'And who would have thought your talents were only limited to singing?'

'Oh no, the pleasure is all mine, young man.' replied the hat, 'It's not often I get to peer into the mind of such natural genius. Ah...a strategist, eh? Shinobi truly are magnificent, a real delight. Quite a nice change from the usual wizard.'

'Interesting,' thought Shikamaru.

'And it seems that you are just as doubtful of your abilities as a strategist as you are confident of them,' Shikamaru raised a thin eye brow at the comment, 'You also have an arrogance that is perfectly balanced by your self-consciousness.'

Shikamaru felt himself prick in irritation. Was this why all the other shinobi looked so bothered after the sorting? Because the over enthusiast of a hat wouldn't stop babbling about character flaws? How troublesome.

'Look, hat, I came here for business. Seeing as how you were the one to create it, you must see the pattern that my comrades have been forming. No one has been sorted into the yellow house. If you can really see my intentions, then you know why this needs to change.'

'Yes, yes,' it said, 'I do see, but I cannot sort you into Hufflepuff, young man. You simply just don't hold the traits necessary. You of all people... if it were anyone else to request it, then maybe. But not you. You are extremely clever, loyal, and a great leader despite your doubts, albeit lazy. You definitely only belong in one house, and my mind cannot be changed. Please pardon the troublesomeness.'

Shikamaru scoffed just as the hat cried "Ravenclaw!" He then walked over to his new table, slowly of course, and sat down in the back with the rest of the shinobi clustered there.

Sakura greeted him with a warm smile, Hinata gave him a little bow, and Tenten sent him a nod of acknowledgment.

Girls again?

Dammit.

Shikamaru sighed. Putting that other problem aside, he was (barely) ashamed to admit that he had been the mission's last hope when it came to the task of expanding their perspective of the school. He had planned for everyone to be scattered around EACH of the houses, not just three. Now, no one was in Hufflepuff, and they were thoroughly screwed when it came to collecting information.

Shikamaru sighed again.

It seemed as if no one else had took notice of the rather troublesome situation and instead looked hopelessly dazed. Even Naruto, who was usually bright and smiling no matter the situation, was quiet and actually... dare he think... reserved?

But even Shikamaru had to admit that a mind reading hat that pointed out the flaws that one would rather leave untouched was unsettling. Personally, the chuunin wasn't as messed up as say, Neji or Sasuke, so he obviously couldn't imagine what they were going through at the moment. The two mentioned boys, in fact, were sitting side by side, angsting together in a hostile silence at the Slytherin table.

Shikamaru would think it troublesome if he wasn't forced to turn his attention elsewhere. The last first year had been sorted and an elderly man sitting at what he thought to be the teachers table, located in the far side of the great hall, had just called for their attention. He looked, to be blunt, eccentric. Extremely so, in fact. He was dressed in purple robes bright enough to rival Naruto's orange outfit, half moon spectacles, a very tall, pointy hat, and gave off a strange aura. The man didn't stick out like a sore thumb, he stuck out like a genetically altered nose sprouting out the back of someone's hand. Not that the other teachers were too normal themselves.

As soon as he stood, raising his arms to perform a gesture, the hall immediately fell into such an intense silence that one could drop a senbon and actually hear it. And senbon were damn hard to hear.

"To our newcomers," said the man in a ringing voice and a smile on his face, "welcome! To our old hands, welcome back! There is a time for speech making, but this is not it. Tuck in!" (1)

The hall erupted with laughter as the shinobi looked confused. But before Shikamaru could think 'Tuck into what?', his table suddenly exploded with an unbelievable amount of food that appeared out of nowhere. There had been no warning, for neither the shinobi nor the wizards.

Kiba, who was sitting at the Gryffindor table, let out a girlish squeak. Neji and Sasuke both back flipped ten feet in the air, over the Ravenclaw table, and onto the horrified Hufflepuff table, knocking plates and tea cups and chicken and people to the ground. Tenten defensively surrounded herself with about twelve different weapons of various size and deadliness. Chouji was one pudding cup away from an orgasm. Shikamaru raised an eye brow. All talk screeched to a halt and the hall was smothered in a pregnant pause.

Troublesome? Yeah. Maybe a little.

x

Naruto blinked and then saw food. Lots of food. He blinked again and saw Sasuke and Neji standing on the yellow table in battle ready mode. He also saw Tenten covered in pointy weapons, and Shikamaru raise an eye brow. Not only that, but Harry became noticeably paler.

He couldn't blame them, though. It came as a surprise. The food really did come out of nowhere, and in a sudden flare of immense chakra that startled the shinobi into taking defensive actions. But as soon as the initial shock dissipated, the baffled silence covering the hall was ripped off with enough force to lay waste to a lesser nation.

"YES NEJI!" cried an excited Lee, "EXPLODING WITH YOUTH!"

"Sasuke-kun! Get down!"

"Ack! Tenten! Put those away!"

"Chouji? CHOUJI! Chew first, dammit!"

And how would Shikamaru put it? ...Troublesome? Yeah. Maybe a little.

x

Sasuke didn't know why, but upon seeing a flash of silver and feeling a sudden surge of chakra; he was standing on a table that wasn't his own.

Huh. Curious.

And with Sakura's order, he put the kunai away and leaped off the yellow table, along with Neji, with enough grace to regain about a third of the dignity they had just lost. Really, had they just displayed such a reaction to magical food? Bah.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Tenten un-summon her many weapons, Lee try to smack the barbecue out of Chouji's windpipe, Kiba attempt to preserve his manliness, and a certain familiar blonde wizard from the Slytherin table give him a incredulous look. He chose to ignore his noticings and join Neji in taking a seat amongst the almost deafening wave of excited and confused chatter coming from the students and, who Sasuke suspected to be, the teachers.

The especially eccentric man from before, with the bright, sparkly, purple robes and half-moon spectacles, stood up. He rose his arms up once again and the room reluctantly fell quiet.

"I was going to wait to introduce our new, foreign exchange students, but it seems they have left me no choice in the matter," he said this sentence with a annoyingly bright twinkle in his eye which would have been malice if said by anyone else.

"Please welcome our new students and treat them as you would treat your own," he smiled a little broader before saying, "I would like to introduce: Naruto Uzumaki, Kiba Inuzuka, Rock Lee, and Chouji Akimichi at the Gryffindor table." The shinobi in turn, stood up, Naruto waving and Lee crying "YOSH!"

"Also Sakura Haruno, Hinata Hyuuga, Tenten, and Shikamaru Nara at the Ravenclaw table." All of the girls stood up, smiled, and either waved or bowed. Expect Shikamaru, who looked as if he was going to fall asleep in his mashed potatoes. Sasuke had to wonder if Tenten even had a surname.

"And last, but not least: Sasuke Uchiha, Shino Aburame, Neji Hyuuga, and Ino Yamanaka at the Slytherin table." The only person in the last little list of names to respond in any way was Ino, who stood up and giggled. About half a minute of excited chatter and necks craning to get a better look at the new students went by before the man spoke again.

"They have come from a far away land; where their Head Mistress so graciously allowed us to import a few of her unique and extremely talented students to our school. Please make them feel at home!"

With the final words, 'Tuck in,' which Sasuke didn't understand in the least, the man sat, and the collective sounds of forks and knives and spoons scraping plates filled the air.

Sasuke noticed how both himself and Neji eyed the food then stabbed it with a fork distastefully. It didn't exactly look or smell bad, just unfamiliar.

"Eating it?" asked the Hyuuga, skewering something with a butter knife.

"No. You?"

"Hokage-sama couldn't pay me nearly enough."

x

Harry had been laying on his back, slightly fuming in his room at five in the morning. He was listening to the sound of light rain hitting the window glass, the faint snores of Ron and Naruto, and the little voice nagging at the back of his head, telling him something was wrong.

He had a nightmare again. Snakes. A whole lot of snakes and shadows and blood, which was rarely seen in any of his dreams. He didn't wake with a start, like he usually did, but he did wake up with his scar pulsing in a throbbing pain.

After the feast, which wasn't quite eventful, save for the introduction of the shinobi and new Defense against the arts teacher. Said teacher was small toady, annoying, and sported a bright pink bow that didn't exactly highlight her large, bulbousy eyes in a positive light. She had given a speech, a long, boring speech with many big words that only Hermione had understood. It had resulted in waning attention spans and Naruto to even take off his translation button-pin at one point, claiming it was broken.

And as soon as dessert disappeared from the table tops, and the students were excused to their dormitories, Hermione and Ron left with the new Gryffindor first years and ninja, and introduced them to the castle, telling them of the rules, regulations, and dangers. The talking paintings had amazed them (Naruto and Lee constantly fell behind due to random conversations struck up with particularly interesting paintings), the moving staircases had startled them (Naruto and Lee falling more than a few times), and the Fat Lady portrait had annoyed them (insulting Naruto and Lee's pronunciation of the password, which was unfortunately mimbulus mimbletonia.)

They had then been shown around the common room, told the rules and regulations, again, and sent to bed. Classes would be starting the next day, so they needed a good night's sleep. But problems had arisen, so sleep would come at least an hour later then expected.

"Wait, Lee, you don't have a wand!"

"A what?"

"A stick! You came straight from the train so you don't have one!"

"I don't need sticks when I have YOUTH!" he screamed, proceeding to pump his fists in the air with much unneeded enthusiasm. The triangle cheeked boy, Kiba, promptly told him to 'shut his god damn youthful face.'

But Naruto was right, if the three newest ninja had no wands, then they couldn't attend classes. It was a problem. Not that Harry cared much, he still hadn't gotten over his growing dislike for the foreigners, so the less he got to see of them, the more of his sanity he was able to preserve.

The ninja had assessed the problem for twenty minutes more or so, with Hermione eventually and abruptly ending it by telling them to go to bed. They hadn't come to a single conclusion, and as they headed up to bed, the big one, Chouji, had muttered something about 'just asking Shikamaru.' Harry didn't see how that would help anything, and followed them up the stairs and into bed to sleep.

That's when The Boy Who Lived had woken up to a nightmare, and found himself reverie-ing the night away. He was convinced that he wouldn't be able to sleep for the remaining two hours until seven, the time he usually got up to get ready for classes, but that didn't mean he couldn't try anyway.

He had almost succeeded, his eyes had fluttered closed and was in a state of very light, calm slumber, but was pulled away by the barely audible sound of a creaky window opening, and the light rustle of blankets.

"Naruto," whispered a familiar voice. "Oi, dobe, wake up."

Naruto mumbled a sleepy retort that could have been a insult, followed by the rustling of more blankets and the blonde asking, "Sasuke? Did you have another nightmare?"

There was silence, more cloth rustling and the sound of springs creaking. Harry, in his half-asleep daze, found himself peering through a slit in his royal red tapestries, laying eyes on Sasuke sitting on the blonde boy's bed, fully dressed in his Slytherin robes. Harry could barely make them out, seeing as how he didn't wear his glasses to bed.

"Lets just go, we need to talk," said one of the figures on the bed, "But not here in english. People are listening."

The last thing Harry remembered before laying back down and retreating into a deep sleep was the sound of worn springs and a window opening and closing.

When he woke up at seven in the morning to Ron shaking him, he wondered about the events from last night over the emptiness of Naruto's bed, unable to sort his dreams from what could have been real.

x

Sasuke had nightmares whenever he sleep, regardless of the time of day. He would wake up every night at least once with a light scowl on his face until he dared to attempt slumber again. But last night's nightmare was especially gruesome, about snakes and shadows and blood. But no matter the nightmare, he would never wake up with a start, just slowly float to a reality that wasn't all too different from the demons that plagued his dreams.

He only had two particularly nasty dreams that had ever lead him to Naruto's one room apartment in the past, the first time only half awake, not fully aware of what was happening until he found himself standing in front of a familiar door. That time he had been tempted to turn around, but knocked anyway.

The second time he went on his own accord, willingly (in a reluctant sort of way) walking over to his blonde companion's apartment to sleep on a spare futon, just as he did the last time. They had never spoken of either events, both taking the momentary lapse of, what Sasuke thought, was weakness in silence.

But Sasuke had found himself beside the blonde's bedside again, not just for support, but also to ask the boy to train for the next two hours before classes started. The nightmare had almost totally abolished the waning resentment that had built up since the fight at the hospital, and not only that, he was beginning to feel stiff from three whole days absent of physical activity. He suspected Naruto did too. A ninja could only stay still for so long.

With a sleepy agreement, Naruto dressed quickly, shed the ridiculous sleeping cap, and jumped out the window, the Uchiha in tow. They both made a note to talk about private matters in only Japanese from then on, that boy, Harry Potter, had already heard too much for comfort.

"Wanna go explore first?" asked the blonde boy. They had taken to standing atop one of the towers closest to the window they had launched from, looking out at the pink and purple clouds smeared across the rain fresh sky, and the sun rising above the trees of an ominous looking forest.

"How about we check out the Forest of Death?" suggested Sasuke.

Naruto laughed, fully awake now, "You mean the Forbidden Forest?"

"Forbidden... Deadly... all the more reason to go."

Naruto laughed again, and Sasuke cracked a barely visible smile as a wave of relief washed over him.

They jumped from castle tower to castle tower, only accompanied by the smell of rain in their lungs and the early rays of the sun on their backs.

x

Sasuke-kun and Naruto had been late for breakfast. They had come just five minutes before the food disappeared from the tables, wet, rumpled, and (in Naruto's case) grinning.

"That forest is AMAZING!" ranted Naruto loudly as he and Sasuke sat down at the Gryffindor tables, grabbing food and pumpkin juice greedily and eating it as fast as they possibly good. Sakura joined them, excusing herself from the Ravenclaw table. She thought it a feat in itself the way Naruto could talk so loudly with his mouth so full. She also noticed that one of his fingers were bleeding.

"It's WAY bigger than the Forrest of Death, and the chakra feels so weird... you should go next time, Sakura-chan! Me and Sasuke killed something big and hairy... and we saw some tree sprites... and some trees attacked us... and this awesome lake... and I saw some unicorns!" his frenzied speak was cut off when the food suddenly disappeared. But that did nothing to ruin his mood. Instead, they both bid Sakura 'adieu' and got up to leave.

Sasuke nibbled on a scone and Naruto was talking through a mouthful of bacon as they walked, side by side, out the doors of the almost empty great hall and into the rain that had returned with a vengeance.

She smiled.

Maybe their team was going to be alright after all.

x

"I've managed to get some information on this school, Orochimaru-sama. Tsunade-sama was quite clever, sending him off to a place where you probably wouldn't be able to follow."

"The only thing I am reluctant to do when it comes to Sasuke-kun's body is die, Kabuto, and maybe not even that."

Kabuto, pushed up his glasses, a secret smile playing across his face. He clutched a small stack of papers in one hand, and a scroll in the other.

"It's true that knowledge of the school is uncommon, but not unheard of. If you dig deep enough, you're bound to hit water," said the young medic nin shuffled some of his papers before adding, "Hogwarts, apparently, is in another dimension very much similar to our own, it even overlaps slightly. The country our area overlaps with is called 'China,' in a place called 'The Macau Special Administrative Region' on a small peninsula. If you send the Four into a cave located just west of Yumeka Sumomo Port, then you will come out of another cave in 'Macau.'"

"Ah. Good job. Send the Four with directions to 'Hogwarts.' Make sure they know as much as they can about this new world. Oh... and Kabuto?"

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama?"

"Have them uncover as much as they can about these 'wizards.' I'm thinking its time for me to put my new arms to work."

"Hai, Orochimaru-sama."

x

Forbidden Forest Omake Part One

x

"Naruto, don't touch it."

"..."

"Naruto. I. Said. Don't. Touch. It!"

"But... its so cute!"

"I don't care what the hell it looks like. Haven't you ever heard of that saying 'Mother bear is never far from her cub?'"

Naruto rolled his eyes at the raven haired youth, and proceeded to tickle the fuzzy black creature he was crouched in front of.

"I'm sure its not a bear."

"Narutooo..."

"Stop worrying over something so cute and OH DEAR GOD IT BIT ME!"

"...do you hear that?"

"GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET-!"

"Run Naruto."

"-IT OFF GET IT OFF!"

"Run Naruto!"

Something broke into the clearing, knocking trees aside as if they were twigs, and both boys ran, fearing for their lives, from a creature as unholy as Satan himself. It was black and hairy, so much so that it's eyes couldn't be seen. Not that you would be able to anyway, the enormous mouth lined with huge, jagged teeth that seemed to split the onion shaped creature in two would serve as too much of a distraction anyway. Each step it took towards them caused the ground to shake and its fur to ripple in the darkness of the forest.

"It's like Sasquatch and Pac-man fused together to create SAC-MAN!"

Sac-man gave a deafening roar as Naruto Kage Bushin-ed all over the place, scattering among the trees and Sasuke's hands flew up to form the seal of the Tiger.

"I'll be DAMNED before I die by the hand of a monster you named Sac-man!"

x

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...YOUR MIND IS MINE!