"Uh, kids, I changed my mind. You're going to your relative's house right away because I think you would be a pain in the ass at my house," Said Mr. Poe as he started the car. Violet burst into tears. "Shut up, you little emo!" Mr. Poe screamed. "Anyway, your relative's name is Count Olaf." Mr. Poe coughed again to sound cool. "I've never even heard that name before," said a confused, simple minded Violet. "Well you have now, you stupid slut bitch!" Mr. Poe shrieked. Mr. Poe was practicing his swearing skills all the time these days.
"I wonder if Count Olaf is as rude as you are, Mr. Poe." Violet grunted. Mr. Poe had had enough of this little whore! He fed her a vicious, powerful backhand to the cheek and her head flew in the opposite direction. Mr. Poe chuckled to himself. "Vav xoota!" Shrieked Sunny. She probably meant something along the lines of "So lyra and her daemon turned away from the world they were born in, and looked toward the sun, and walked into the sky." Nothing much happened for the rest of the trip, and soon they arrived at a cheerful looking house that they would live in from now on, or so the children thought.
They knocked on the door and a woman arrived at the door. Violet, being not so bright, asked, "Are you count Olaf?" The woman opened her mouth to say something but then she thought first. "Uh, yeah, I'm count Olaf! I've got some candy for you if you come inside! Also could you help me find my dog?" Violet was about to agree, but Mr. Poe would have none of this nonsense. "Children! Get the hell away from there, you slut whores! Count Olaf's house is over there!" He pointed to a different house that was dark and gloomy with a tall tower coming from it. "I'm leaving now! Good luck on ever amounting to anything or prospering in life at all!!" Screamed Mr. Poe.
"Tabono." Sunny said purposefully. She probably meant something like, "And from then on, the evil ranatatons never came to the land of zarzazumich ever again. Long live king balababar." And so the Baudelaire children walked towards the door of the dark, gloomy house, expecting more Series of Unfortunate Events. A phrase which here means, "And so the Baudelaire children walked towards the door of the dark, gloomy house, expecting more Series of Unfortunate Events."
Review this please. I would like to see what you think of it.