AN: Hey, all my lovely, wonderful reviewers and readers! Thank you all for the fantastic, encouraging reviews! I also wanted to let you know, (even though no one READS ANs), that the thirtieth of October was my birthday, so I just imaged your reviews as presents. And I didn't really get questions that can't be answered in the story itself, so...
Special thanks time!
As always, to Morena Evensong (who has been an amazingly fantastically wonderful reader and reviewer since the first chapter), RetaroO (school and life really does equal EWW), NinjaSquirls (for finding a new mission in life! SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH!), HatefulShinobi (huggles back), Yuume Li (for guffawing), kiseki-girl (for helping me save kittens), Yue-eternal (just because I love it when I'm told that) Starshinesoldier (what shounen-ai? laughs nervously HA HA… I swear this fic has no pairings!), me (yeah, I realized that too late, and people liked that ending line too much for me to change it.), Kerii-chan (yaoi? What gave you THAT idea?... :D), and finally:
kuroiryuu.
I swear. That had to be one of the most in-depth, flattering, make-me-wanna-update-five-weeks-faster reviews I have ever received in all my (one) years of fanfiction! It looked like a friggin ESSAY. Thank you so much for taking the time to type it!
Damn these long ANs!
x
"You know," said Kiba offhandedly as he threw a stick into the edge of the Forbidden Forest for Akamaru to fetch, "It feels like someone's missing…"
"Yeah," replied Sakura as she tried to get as close to Sasuke as possible without him (or Ino) noticing. "It really does."
"Hey, Sasuke," called Naruto from the shade of a tree he was currently sharing with Neji and Shikamaru, the three of them partaking in the oh-so-stressful task of cloud watching. It was lunch time, and the ninja decided to spend theirs outside, where the weather was warm and resembled the Konohagakure climate.
"What, dobe?"
"Where the HELL is Kakashi?"
x
The receptionist turned a disapproving gaze on the blatantly eccentric white haired man seated in one of the waiting room chairs. He giggled suggestively, as he would every few minutes, into the book that his nose had been buried in since the moment he walked in about half an hour ago. The various pieces of cloth covering three fourths of his face did nothing to hide the shameless mirth he displayed, and she felt her left eye lid twitch. It was his turn next, and for some reason, she couldn't suppress a feeling of dread.
"Uhm… Mr. Kakashi, was it?"
Said man, dressed in a strange uniform even though formal robes were strongly recommended, curved his one visible eye to resemble an upside down 'u,' so he was probably smiling. Or had spontaneously fallen asleep.
"Actually, my family name is 'Hatake.'"
"Well then, Mr. Hatake-"
The woman was cut off before she could finish the sentence by the white haired man when he insisted, "Actually, I would prefer to be addressed as 'Kakashi,' thank you."
"Well, Mr. Kakashi-"
"Kakashi."
The hasty correction was the last straw, and the woman at the front desk was really aggravated now; it took all her strength not to hex his insistive ass right out the door. The fact that 'insistive' wasn't a real word, (judging from the red, squiggly line it stood upon), did nothing to pacify her (or the author's) growing annoyance. 'Kakashi' smiled.
"Well then, sir. The minister would like to see you now."
"Thank you, ma'am."
And the white haired man made his way to the door on her right, stuffing the mysterious little orange book into one of the many pockets that covered his person. She sighed as he disappeared, trying to calm her nerves. She peeked at the paper he had presented to her just a few moments before, curiosity consuming her.
"Hatake Kakashi…" she murmured to herself, "Temporary representative of The Village Hidden in the Leaves…"
She stopped reading and huffed, putting the papers back into their respective stacks.
As if she didn't get enough weirdoes working here.
x
Kabuto had always thought that Orochimaru-sama was more like a woman than he let on. He took forever to make even the most menial decisions, (like what to wear in the morning, what color eye shadow accentuated his skin tone the most though he picked the same one every morning, what to eat for breakfast, which body to transfer into after Sasuke-kun's retrieval failed…), and he took even longer to get ready for an upcoming mission.
You would never think an S-class missing-nin that had almost single handedly (or so he says) destroyed the great Konohagakure would not, just a few days ago, have been fretting over the loss of his favorite traveling sandals.
But he did.
Orochimaru-sama had decided to come along with the Sound Four through the Outer Dimensional Overlap that led to the strange country that was 'China,' at the last minute. This had thrown the whole mission schedule into chaos, but in the end, they followed through and left the underground mansion right before sunset.
They had arrived to 'China' right after sunrise, directly in the Qingdao Port according to the map. They traveled swiftly, taking very few rest breaks, and covering enormous ground both on foot and by "car."
From Qingdao they followed a long road that quickly took them through the cities of Shijiazhuang, Xi'an, Urumqi, and finally to Bishneck. After a very short break, they traveled from Bishneck to Uzbekistan, crossed over the country of Iran, and finally taking a real rest in Turkey.
Kabuto was sure to take many notes on this strange new world, paying special attention to the effectiveness of their telephone poles, the characteristics of their wildlife, the uses for the "car" and the roads they rode on, and the various cultures that they came in contact with. He found many of the things in this world to be similar to the ones back in their dimension, and theorized that this place had very little difference, or was the same.
The Medic-Nin had noted many observations in this dimension, the first being that the more north-western they traveled, the stranger and more foreign the culture became, Turkey being the most prominent example. He couldn't make neither heads nor tails of this place, and had been scribbling frantically into his notebook the second he stepped foot over the border.
By this time, Jirobou had been sent out with the task of stocking up with food that could at least last them the month, blankets, water bottles, and other essentials as Tayuya, Sakon, and Ukon were given the task of scouting for anything interesting or worth noting. This left Orochimaru-sama, Kidoumaru, Kabuto and Kimimaro (who had demanded his participation in the mission, only succeeding through walking short distances and being carried as dignifiedly as possible by Jirobou) to survey the town, taking in as much as they could with what little time they could spare.
It was in Turkey, the strangest land they had ever stepped foot in, where they felt it, a sort of chakra signature concealing some kind of tavern. It was extremely powerful, but Kabuto discovered that by pouring a vast amount of chakra into the jutsu, you could disrupt the internal workings, disabling the illusion and barrier and allowing one to easily slip through. And this was what the four of them did, fueled by curiosity and hidden intention.
They would make the most of this mission.
x
Harry didn't remember much from the occasional kung-fu fighting movies that Dudley brought home, (seeing as how he never got to really WATCH them, memories of hiding in Dudley's closet to get a glimpse at Jackie Chan plagued his mind as he thought this), but he did know one thing:
Ninja's sure in the hell weren't supposed to like scones as much as Sasuke did. No matter how hard he tried to hide it.
And furthermore, ninjas definitely weren't suppose to be so loud (Naruto, Kiba, Lee), obnoxious (Naruto, Kiba, Lee, Sasuke), and uncooperative towards their employers (Naruto, Kiba, Sasuke, Neji)
But, as expected of ninja, some of them were plenty scary. (SHINO NEJI SASUKE)
And if there was one thing that he KNEW they all had in common, it was their destructive capabilities.
It had just happened a few hours ago. Harry took his eyes off Naruto for less than thirty seconds and the blonde had disappeared. Almost immediately Harry heard a loud, earth shaking explosion detonate in the distance. Naruto had returned moments later, grinning as if he did something unforgivably evil and was damn proud about it. Harry felt the need to be even warier then usual, which was pretty friggin wary.
But now, during lunch, it had almost been seven whole minutes since The Boy Who Lived saw any of the ninja. That was a hard feat, considering the fact that there were about thirteen of them roaming around the school.
By now, Harry was more than a little nervous, and felt the need to evaluate a quick review that pretty much summarized everything he had come to know regarding his body guards:
NINJA + OUT OF SIGHT : APOCALYPSE
There.
And they were out of sight… for a whole EIGHT MINUTES. With this last thought, he decided to excuse himself from the lunch table that he was sharing with a few other Gryffindors and a Ravenclaw and look for them, making sure they didn't get into too much trouble. He wasn't sure if the castle could take it.
So Harry ventured out the Great Hall doors, armed with nothing but a half eaten leg of chicken and his wand, expecting the worst but hoping for the best.
After a few minutes of searching the front of the school (mostly looking for signs of destruction and burning corpses) he found nothing. But after a few moments more, he heard the distinctive sound of a barking dog.
Harry followed the noise to a clearing near the tree line of the Forbidden Forest a little bit past Hagrid's hut. It was here he found the shinobi, sprawled out in the shade and branches of the trees, basking in the warm sun, throwing sticks into the forest, and eating chips.
"Neh neh! Doesn't that one look like a cat?"
"No. It looks like a cloud."
"You know, Neji, for someone with Byakugan, you really suck at cloud watching."
Harry was so relieved at the peaceful lounging he dropped his chicken bone. There seemed to be no mass devastation, no mayhem, no casualties… nothing.
"Harry!" cried Naruto, finally noticing the messy haired wizard, "I was worried that in the three minutes ('Actually, it was eleven') that we've been gone, you'd been kidnapped by that one guy we know nothing about!"
"You mean Voldemort?"
"Bless you, Shikamaru."
"Naruto, that's his name."
"Well, it sounds like a sneeze."
Harry tried his best to ignore Naruto's rambles as he surveyed the shinobi's positions. Lee and Shino each lounged lazily in the branches of the tree whose shade gave refuge to the hyperactive blonde, Neji, and Shikamaru. A little further from them, Sasuke, Sakura and Ino were leaning against a boulder, with both the girls looking ecstatic and the raven haired boy looking uncomfortable and slightly nauseous. And little further from them, Tenten, Hinata and Chouji reclined in the grass, polishing dangerous looking knives, long, thin needles, and other dangerous looking weapons all the while munching chips. Further away, Kiba was playing fetch with Akamaru a little too deep into the tree line for Harry's comfort, throwing a long, slim, familiar looking stick back and forth into the ominous, undoubtfully deadly forest.
"Do you really think that forest is that deadly?"
"'Doubt it."
Harry felt himself prick in irritation. But this was forgotten when a cry of frustration and a bark resounded from the forest. Seconds later, Kiba broke into the clearing, Akamaru in tow and growling low in his throat.
"Shut up, Akamaru! It IS your fault!" this was countered with an angry bark. "Don't use that tone with me!"
The Boy Who Lived could only stare dumbstruck at the (seemingly) one sided argument unfolding before him. He had seen a lot of weird things before, (attending a wizarding school and all), but this had to be one of the strangest. Had he ever seen anyone take part in a verbal fight with a dog? He quickly took that back. He'd seen Mrs. Weasley bicker back and forth with Sirius plenty of times before.
"What happened, Kiba?" asked Hinata quietly, her tone made it apparent that the boy didn't do this very often.
"It's Akamaru's fault!" he answered angrily. "He says I threw it too far, but I think he just can't catch. Now we can't find my wand!"
If Harry could face fault, he probably would have at that second. These current events had surfaced two demon spawn questions. Demon spawn question number one: Why in the HELL was Kiba using his wand of all things to play fetch? Demon-spawn question number two: Why of all the places to lose it, the FORBIDDEN FOREST?
…FORBIDDEN.
God dammit.
"Well, where is it then?" asked Naruto.
"It's in the forest, obviously!" said Kiba, pointing behind him, as if it were really the most obvious thing in the world. Though it was.
A whole multitude of annoying dialogue resumed afterward (but was to be excluded for the sake of the author, who thought it appropriate to channel her inner Shikamaru and think it too troublesome to type details), discussing the fate of Kiba's wand if they didn't retrieve it, the fate of Kiba's participation in the mission if they didn't retrieve it, and the fate of the shinobi themselves if they DID retrieve it. (The author also thought it appropriate to inform readers that talk of fate was taken in most part by Neji.)
"So we have definitely decided going into the forest is our fate."
"Neji, say 'fate' one more time and I swear I'll…"
"What? 'Kick my ass'?" he said in a stoically mocking tone before Naruto and Tenten gave him a knowing look. Harry felt it was also Neji's fate to shut his mouth.
Minutes later, Harry found himself and twelve shinobi of varying moods and hair colors standing before the Forbidden Forest, ready to march head first into the ominous foliage, unsure of how he got dragged into the whole mess that had stemmed from a game of fetch.
They had decided that the ones to lead the expedition would be no one other than Harry, who had been in the Forest more times then he could count, (okay, so it was about seven, but who was really counting? Not the author). Sasuke was to be the second, incase Harry met an untimely death, then Naruto, because he was the only other one to have been in the forest besides Kiba.
And with a battle cry of "YOUTH!", "DATTE BAYO!", and "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" the huge mob of ninja and a wizard charged, ran, sauntered, swaggered, bounded, multiplied, and slowly walked into the forest.
Harry thought it was a horrible idea to make so much noise all the while leaving such a big trail for something to follow, but this rapidly changed when after a few minutes, he found himself with only Sasuke, Sakura, and a few of Naruto's replications. The rest had either fallen behind them, went off ahead, or moved in a different direction, and in the process, striking Harry with an overwhelming sense of awe as he witnessed the shinobi perform amazing feats of strength and agility, leaping and weaving through the trees at deafening heights and speeds as if it were as simple and second nature as breathing.
The Boy Who Lived had also thought it strange that they were delving so deeply into the forest when it was only logical that the wand would have landed somewhere near the tree line, not further from it.
"Hey, isn't this too far?" he finally asked.
"Well, yeah. Kiba and his team are practically experts at tracking and finding stuff, especially with Hinata's Byakugan, so they stayed behind. Y' know, they probably found it by now…"
"Then WHY are we still in the FORBIDDEN FOREST?"
…FORBIDDEN.
God dammit.
x
Naruto thought it extremely obvious that the whole "looking for Kiba's wand" mission was really just an excuse for the shinobi to explore the forest. It was so dark, so foreboding, so deliciously dangerous, that it was just calling them. But Kakashi, the missions general over seer, being the only jounin, had advised them against it. He had strictly told them not to enter unless given a good reason.
And what better reason did they have than finding Kiba's lost wand? But it was too bad Harry got dragged into it.
"Naruto, you said that you and Sasuke explored here yesterday?" said Harry after awhile, addressing one of the replications.
"Well, yeah, but we didn't see much. Just Sac-Man, some killer tree sprites, some killer trees, a few unicorns, a lake…"
Naruto saw Harry twitch, muttering 'just?' under his breath.
"What else is in this forest, Harry-san?" asked Sakura, she still insisted on using honorifics, though chances are, no one in this dimension knew what they meant.
"Uh…" stammered Harry, it seemed the question caught him off guard, "Well, I'm not too sure what Sac-Man is, but yeah, unicorns, tree sprites, enchanted lakes, centaurs, dementors, werewolves, vampires, ghosts, demons, some living dead, some dark wizards… and oh! Giant spiders."
Sakura gave a shiver, Naruto knew she hated spiders. Hell, who didn't?
"And once, even Voldemort was hiding here," he continued.
"Oh yeah! About him Harry-san, can you tell-"
But before Sakura could finish her question, a flash of green catapulted into view, kicked off a tree and landed with so much force it blew a crater into the forest floor, creating up a mushroom cloud of dirt, and disrupting the general wildlife. Naruto (who was so surprised that he dispersed all this bunshins), Sakura, Sasuke, and Harry shielded their eyes, then finally rested them on Lee, who stood in the center of the destruction, covered in dirt but smiling victoriously.
"YOSH!" he cried just as the debris had settled, "Neji, I have won!"
Despite his victory cry, the Hyuuga was nowhere to be seen.
"What the hell, Lee?" Naruto cried, "Neji isn't even here!"
"Oh? I guess he didn't hear me when I declared our race!"
Naruto was sure that the Hyuuga heard the loud, round eyed boy, and opted to ignore him instead, but he wasn't sure why Lee had picked such a place for the finish line. He was most likely just running blindingly through the forest at speeds that put the sound barrier to shame, no real destination in sight.
"Well then, I lost my team. May I ask your permission on accompanying yours?" he said with a polite bow, mostly in Sakura's direction and blushing.
"Sure, Lee-san," smiled Sakura, and Harry cringed. Lee returned the smile and fell in step with the pink haired kunoichi and Naruto, Sasuke walking a little ahead with the lone wizard.
"You know, lunch is about over, we should head bac-" Harry was cut off before he could finish, and visibly shivered.
"What is the matter, Harry-san?"
Naruto, confused as ever, tensed when he felt it. Like a chunk of ice had dropped down the back of his shirt and was slowing riding down his spine, and when he had voiced his surprise, his breath crystallized in the chilled air. He shivered, and watched Sasuke and Sakura and Lee do the same.
"Get behind me, everyone!" yelled Harry fiercely, taking out his wand and positioning himself in what could possibly be the wizard equivalent of a fighting stance.
"What is the matter Harry-san?" repeated Lee more urgently, getting into a real fighting stance and acting as his back up. Sakura stood beside him, as Naruto and Sasuke took position beside the armed boy.
"Go back!" he screamed as the temperature dropped dangerously. "Why are you just standing there, I said go!"
"No!" Naruto protested, just as loud. "This is what we're here for! You go back!"
Harry didn't respond, and looked ahead, focusing his attention on the shadows that were slowly advancing, all foliage either freezing or dying in their wake. Naruto had to suppress another shudder.
Beside him, Sasuke made a noise, Naruto, concerned, turned toward him. The Uchiha was gripping his head in anguish as more shadows swooped around, circling them ominously.
"Naruto…" he called breathlessly, making the other boy's stomach clench painfully, "Naruto… take Sakura and go…"
The blonde shinobi watched in horror as his raven haired companion fell to his knees, clutching his head more fiercely as he muttered incoherently. Naruto thought he heard "Itachi… no… don't!" in his whispers, but he wasn't sure.
Naruto turned, getting ready to sling Sasuke (whether willing or unwillingly, it was going to happen), over his shoulder and escape back to the school, dragging the rest with him, but stopped. The chunk of ice that froze his spine felt as if it had extended sharply to the very core of his mind. He fell to his knees as all thoughts of hope and escape fled his conscious and were replaced with feelings of loss and despair.
For some reason, all he could remember were the cold, lonely nights in his apartment, the feeling of invisibility as he walked the streets of Konoha, the collective looks of hatred and disgust and fear as a child… He remembered lying in bed every night wondering why. Why him? 'Why me? Why me? Why me?'
"Why me? Why? What did I do?"
"Naruto! Naruto, snap out of it! Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun, help Naruto!" he barely heard Sakura cry helplessly.
Naruto wanted to help, wanted to escape, but he felt as if he were sinking in something dark and heavy, being overwhelmed by his hopelessness and drowning in the memories of his past. He scrabbled for any sense of warmth as all feelings of happiness were torn away.
The last things that Naruto remembered before hitting the ground, and allowing himself to be engulfed by the horrible, cold blackness, was the sensation of landing on soft, familiar sand, a scream of "Expecto Patromun", a fading blue light…
And a warm, shaking hand gripping his shoulder desperately.
x
Ollivander Omake
Enter: Sand Siblings
x
It had been decided. Ninja were bastards. Cold, unfeeling, terrifying, bastards that weren't fit to hold wands, let alone own wands, and even less step foot in his shop.
But, unfortunately, they had came, they had destroyed, and they had left.
The last three must have been the worst by far, striding in with the swagger of born assassins and carrying various huge, dangerous weapons that had consisted of fans and gourds and… mummies.
And as soon as they came, the three ninja had left, two with a smirk, one with an indifferent scowl. They had took three perfectly good wands and left behind a barren desert (quite literarily a desert) of pure despair and the legacy of being the worst costumers ever in the history of all wand shops. And this particular wand shop had been around a whole lotta friggin years.
Ollivander wondered if his insurance policy covered sand storms.
x
You'RE all Very Important to thE Writing anD continuAtion of this fic, and just knowing that you read it Makes Me Immensely ecsTatic!
Another subliminal message? What subliminal message? And shounen-ai?
…what are you talking about?
And sorry, no Voldy. I couldn't work his snakey ass into the chapter. Next one, I swear!