Chapter Nine: Something's Not Always Better Than Nothing

Alex

"Fuck Alex! I fucking have something!"

I opened my eyes and looked at the clock by my bed. It was five in the morning and I still had another hour to sleep before I needed to get ready for school. I looked up to see Craig standing over me with tears running down his cheeks. Even though I hadn't been talking to him for the past few days, I knew that something was really wrong if he was crying. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"I got something from Ashley. You were right, I should've gone to the fucking clinic," he cried.

"Calm down." I pulled on his arm so he would sit on the bed. "How do you know you have something?" I asked.

"It fucking burns when I pee!" he whispered loudly. And itches," he added. "What the fuck am I going to do?"

"Go get dressed. We'll make up some bullshit excuse about going to school early and go to the clinic first." He threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly.

"I'm sorry Alex. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You're such a great sister to me and I'm shit for a brother. I'm sorry you got me for your twin," he blabbed on and on. "I can't believe I've been so stupid. What's gonna happen to me?"

"It's gonna be okay Craig; really. You'll be fine and I'll help you get through this," I told him.

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"I forgive you. Now go get dressed."

As soon as he left my room, I sighed and threw on a random outfit. I quickly brushed my hair and got my school stuff together. Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I ran down the stairs. Craig was already down there, grabbing something quick for us to eat.

"They're not up yet," he whispered.

"Good."

I wrote a note to our parents saying we were walking to school and going early because there was an Equality Club meeting before homeroom. It was 5:30 by the time we got out of the house, so we had a half hour until the clinic opened.

As soon as it opened, Craig talked to the woman at the front desk and filled out some paperwork. Then we had to wait for someone to see him. By the time he was done getting tested, it was already 7:15. We only had fifteen minutes to make it to homeroom on time.

"What did they say?" I asked him while we were on our way to school.

"I definitely have something, and I'll find out what in three to five days. They're gonna call my cell phone and I have to go back there to get a prescription," he said, sighing. "I really fucked up." I reached out and patted his bag, then hugged him.

"Everyone fucks up," I told him.

"So, I was thinking we could have a third date this weekend," Ellie said at lunch. Marco was home sick and Spinner was waiting in line for his food.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked her.

"Of course I am," she said.

"I just want to make sure that you actually like going out on dates with a girl," I said. "I like you Ellie."

"I like you too. And I like going on dates with you. I'm positive that I'm bi; I just don't want everyone to know yet. I'm not ready for that."

"You should join Equality Club. Straight people can go too, so no one would know."

"I don't know…maybe. I'll think about it," she said.

"Think about what?" Spinner asked, bringing himself into our conversation as he sat down.

"Ellie might join Equality Club," I told him.

"You should! It's a lot of fun," he said.

"We were just talking about this weekend," Ellie said, changing the subject. "Where do you think we should go?"

"Let's go bowling!" he suggested. He obviously misunderstood that Ellie was talking about just the two of us. We exchanged furtive glances and I nodded at her.

"Sure," she said. "We should get more people to go; it'll be more fun that way."

"I'll ask Marco and Manny," he suggested.

"And I'll ask Craig. We can make teams."

"Great, I can't wait!" Spinner exclaimed. Ellie and I smiled at each other. We'd have to have some alone time another night.

"You doing okay?" I asked Craig that night after dinner. We were washing and drying the dishes together.

"Not really. I just can't believe I was so stupid. I hate Ashley; how could she not tell me that she had something?" he whispered.

"Because she doesn't care about anyone but herself," I said. "You should do something fun this weekend. Ellie, Spinner, and I are going bowling. Spinner's asking Marco if he wants go to and I told them I'd ask you," I explained.

"I'm grounded, remember?" I asked her.

"Mom and Dad are going out, remember? We'll get you back in time, don't worry."

"Thanks, that sounds like fun. Can I ask Emma to come too? If she'll talk to me, that is."

"What happened between you two? I noticed her ignoring you this morning."

"It's a long story," he sighed.

"You really like her don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I know that she likes me, but I messed things up with her too."

"Just try talking to her. She'll forgive you, whatever you did," I told him confidently.

"I hope you're right," he said.

"Don't worry, I'm always right."

Craig

On Wednesday morning, I took Alex's advice. I got to school early and waited by Emma's locker to try to talk to her.

"Not now Craig," she sighed, turning away from me.

"You're not gonna even give me a chance to apologize?" I asked her. "You've been my only friend since I moved here and now all of a sudden you're shutting me out? Look, I shouldn't have brought it up at all, but it's not like I hurt you on purpose. And Jay was just looking out for you when he told me," I explained.

"This is not the time or the place to be talking about this," she snapped, slamming her locker.

"Is there some kind of problem here?" I heard a voice ask from behind me. Sure enough, I turned around to see Emma's dad standing there with his arms crossed. Strike two.

"No Dad, it's fine," Emma said. "I'll meet you behind the school during lunch," she said as she walked past us. As soon as she was gone, Emma's dad moved closer to me.

"Don't hurt her," he said before leaving me standing there staring after both of them.

I sat on the ground, leaning back against the building with my eyes closed. Emma was already fifteen minutes late and I thought she stood me up. But then I could tell someone was watching me. I opened my eyes and saw her standing there a few feet away. She walked over and sat down next to me. She stared straight ahead and wouldn't look at me, but at least it was progress. At least she was there.

"I'm sorry," I said, pulling my knees up to my chest. I felt like such a girl, but Emma really did mean a lot to me and I didn't want to screw up our friendship—or whatever it was.

"It's obviously not your fault," she said, an annoyed tone to her voice. "I'm sick of people saying that they're sorry about what happened. It doesn't really help at all," she sighed. I could tell by the way her voice was shaking that she was crying, but I kept looking in front of me.

"Well, I shouldn't have brought it up at all. I just…"

"Wondered why I act like such a slut?" she asked.

"I wasn't going to say that."

"You were probably thinking it though. Everyone is. Everyone knows what happened to me and even three years later they still look at me like I'm some poor little kid. But I'm trying to put that all behind me," she said.

"I get what that's like—trying to put something behind you," I said. "I know it's not nearly the same thing, but when Alex first came out at our old school, everyone was so terrible to her. And one day after school, a huge group of girls attacked her. I stood there and watched. I was taught not to hit girls and I just watched my sister get beat up. Everyone on Alex's side thought I was a monster for letting it happen. And I know I should have done something, but I didn't. I'll never forget the way everyone looked at me after that."

"At least you got to leave your problems behind when you moved," Emma said, sighing.

"Emma, I really care about you, and I don't want to lose you," I said, finally looking at her. She had tears streaming down her cheeks and her makeup was running all over her face.

"I'm not a slut," she whispered. "I just feel like I need to give guys what they want so it won't happen again."

The look on her face after she said that told me it was the first time she ever said it out loud.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. Just say that we can be friends again." It was definitely corny, but it was how I felt.

"What if I want to be more than friends?" she asked, finally looking over at me. I moved closer and wiped the mess off her face—tears and makeup—and smiled at her.

"We'll take it really slow. I promise," I told her.

"Really slow?" she asked. I nodded and she smiled back at me. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her close to me.

"I promise it'll never happen again," I whispered.

So Alex was right; Emma forgave me. She also agreed to go bowling with all of us on Saturday. It turned out being me, Alex, Ellie, Emma, Jay, Spinner, Marco, and Manny. We split up into teams of Alex, Ellie, Spinner and Jay against me, Emma, Marco, and Manny. Yes, Emma did make up with Jay for the most part and invited him so we'd have even teams. But she did refuse to be on the same team as him.

"This is a lot more fun than I thought it would be," I told Spinner as I sat down next to him. We were the only ones left in the area. The girls all went to the bathroom together—even Manny, who was playing nice—and Marco and Jay offered to get some food for all of us.

"Same here, although it would be nice to actually have someone here with me. If you pair everyone up, Jay is my date," he joked. "He's a little cute, but definitely not my type." I laughed and shook my head. "I'm serious," he said.

"I know; that's why I'm laughing."

"Hey, I got a favor to ask you," he said.

"Ask away. As long as it doesn't involve sex or something," I added quickly. This time it was Spinner's turn to laugh.

"Nothing like that, don't worry. It's just that I was talking to Alex and she said you're really good in math, which happens to be a subject I'm terrible at. I'm failing, and I won't pass this year unless I pass math. I've been looking for a tutor, but apparently, no one wants to help me either because they're bad at math or because I'm gay. Either way, I don't want to stay back because of some stupid numbers," he explained.

"How were you tutoring Alex in Chemistry if you can't pass math? Isn't Chemistry all math?

"Actually, I was tutoring her in naming chemicals. No math involved," he said, grinning.

"So you want me to tutor you?" I asked. He nodded and grinned. Then he stuck his bottom lip out. "I don't know…"

"I'll pay you five dollars an hour. I know it's not much, but I don't actually have a job," he said.

"Fine, I'll do it," I said. We shook hands on the deal just as the girls were getting back to the table.

"Is there something you need to tell me Craig?" Emma asked, nodding her head towards Spinner.

"Very funny," I smirked.

"Emma, I'm the gay twin, remember?" Alex said. "But he could be bi," she added.

"I'm not bisexual," I said, crossing my arms. I hated being the center of attention, especially if it was when I was being made fun of. "Let's just finish and get out of here.

"Chill out dude," Spinner said, clapping his hand down on my shoulder as he stood up. "We still have that date though, right?" he joked.

"Ha ha," I said sarcastically.

"Craig's tutoring me in math," he told them.

"Awww that is so cute," Manny squealed.

"What's cute?" Marco asked as he walked up to us.

"Nothing," I snapped. "Can we just get on with the game?"

"The clinic called," I told Alex. I'd asked her if I could speak with her privately at lunch.

"We'll go after school," she said.

"What about Equality Club?" I asked her. "Don't you have an important meeting?"

"Craig, you're more important to me than a club. We'll go after school, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed.

The rest of the day seemed to fly by, which wasn't really good for me at all. I was so scared to go, especially since I already knew I had something. I met Alex outside the school and we walked to the clinic in silence. It took almost a half hour, and by the time we got there, my hands were shaking.

"Good luck," she whispered, patting me on the back when they called my name.

I felt so awkward and embarrassed as I talked to the doctor and I got out of there as quickly as I could with the little piece of paper in my hand.

"So…" Alex said as we walked back out of the building.

"I feel disgusting Al," I told her.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Chlamydia," I whispered, shaking my head. "We have to go to the pharmacy. I have to take doxy something or other for a week. Twice a day!" I added.

"Let me see," she said, grabbing the paper from me. "Doxycycline," she read off of it. "It's not so bad Craig. Just think, in a little over a week, you'll be done with it. And you better be done with all of that for good," she added.

"I am; don't worry. I'm gonna give Ashley a piece of my mind too."

"Good. She deserves it."

"Alex, thanks for helping me out. I've been a dick to you, and I'm really sorry. We used to be best friends and now we're drifting apart, and it's all my fault."

"Don't worry about it. Everyone goes through tough times. And you can have more than one best friend you know."

She hugged me and mussed up my hair.

"I still love ya, kid," she added.

"I love you too."

A/N: I know the ending was a bit corny there but siblings can be corny lol…I know my sister and I are sometimes. As promised, next chapter will have other POVs added. And it will skip forward a bit to when Craig isn't grounded anymore. Please review and let me know what you think!