Chapter Thirteen: It's Too Late Now

Emma

"We're here," Jay said. I opened my eyes and looked around. The building we were parked by was small, but there were a lot of people going in and out.

"Where exactly is here?" I asked.

"You'll see."

"Or maybe I'll stay in the car. You can't make me go."

"Emma, what exactly is it that you have against me? Or against my mom? I won't make you come in, but I honestly don't know why you won't give us a chance," he said, sighing.

"You always come to my house and take over! My parents obviously think you're this great person and that you're better than me. I'm sick of having to prove myself to them over and over again. Yeah, I get it, you're perfect and I'm not. I just can't take it anymore," I told him. "Every time you're around I feel like I'm worthless. Does that make you happy?"

He looked at me like I was crazy. We sat in silence for a minute and I wasn't sure what to say. I couldn't believe that I'd said it to him. I'd felt that way for a long time and never said anything to anyone.

"That doesn't make me happy Emma. I care about you; you're family. I've never tried to make you feel that way," he told me. "I'm far from perfect Em. Nobody's perfect. You should know that by now. All I wanted you to do was meet my mom so that you would be able to understand the situation better. I won't force you to go with me. But that doesn't mean I won't see her."

He got out of the car and started walking towards the building. I instantly felt like shit for treating him so terribly, but I still didn't understand him or know if he was being genuine.

"Jay, wait!" I yelled after him as I got out of the car. He stopped until I caught up with him.

"Change of heart?" he asked.

"We'll see," I told him.

I followed Jay into the building. He stopped by the desk and I looked around a little. I knew right away that it wasn't any kind of rehab—it looked more like some kind of group home.

"We're here to see Elizabeth Hogart," he told the lady in the front office.

"I believe she's watching TV. Her favorite show is on," the woman said with a smile.

"Thanks. Come on Em, the living room is down the hall."

A lot of people we passed by waved excitedly to both of us. Jay said hi to a few of them—I assumed he knew them from the first visit he made. My stomach started to feel queasy. I felt even worse for the way I treated Jay in the past because I could tell just by looking at the people we passed that they were all mentally retarded. And when his mom turned to face Jay after he called her name, I saw that she was too.

Ellie

I sat on the couch on Saturday afternoon, staring at my own reflection in the television. I couldn't believe how crazy the previous weekend had been.

"Here honey, your favorite," my mom said, handing me a cup of hazelnut coffee.

"Thanks."

"Ellie, you know I love you, right?" she asked me.

"Of course mom," I said. I pulled my legs under me and took a sip of the coffee.

"And you understand why I was upset?"

"Not really. Mom, if you love me, you should love everything about me," I said.

"I do. Honey, you're not gay. It's just not normal. Women are supposed to be with men and only men. I'm sorry that Alex corrupted you and made you think you wanted to be with her," she said.

"I'm sorry too."

"So you agree with me that it was all a mistake?"

"Yes, it was."

"Glad to have the real you back then," she said, kissing my forehead.

"Thanks for the coffee. I have to get ready for work now."

"I love you Ellie."

"I love you too mom."

Marco

I was actually surprised that Manny showed up for lunch. We met at The Dot, like we always did (aside from the week before when she never showed).

All week she'd been avoiding me. After the scene in the hall on Monday, I didn't really want to talk to her anyway, but I still found myself worried about her. There had to be some explanation for the way she was acting.

We sat across from each other and stared over one another's shoulders. I wasn't sure how I could ask her anything without upsetting her again. Ellie took our orders a few minutes later, but all Manny asked for was a water.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked.

"I just ate at home, actually," she said in an irritated tone.

"Why did you eat when you knew we had lunch plans?" I asked, equally irritated.

"Because we need to talk," she said. She reached across the table and grabbed both of my hands in hers.

"So you're finally going to tell me why you've been acting so crazy?" I asked.

"I haven't been acting crazy. I've just been stressed. Most of the stress is coming from this relationship. It's just too much for me; I'm sorry," she said.

"What do you mean? How is it too much for you? It's not like I demand things from you or make you spend all your time with me. We don't even have sex anymore!" I whispered.

"I just can't do this, okay? I'm sorry Marco, but I'm breaking up with you."

"What?" I couldn't believe it. Just because we'd barely spoken in a week, that didn't mean I saw it coming. Manny took me completely by surprise. She stood up and walked out of The Dot before I could get another word in. I ran out after her and caught her before she got into her car. "Manny, wait!"

"I don't have anything else to say to you," she said. I kissed her to shut her up and to try to prove a point. When we broke apart, she looked into my eyes while tears formed in hers.

"You can't tell me that you didn't feel anything just now," I whispered.

"Yes, I can," she said, pulling away from me and getting into her car. As she drove away, I saw her break down and cry. That pissed me off more than the fact that she broke up with me. It pissed me off because I knew she was lying.

I stomped back into The Dot. Just as I was sitting down at the table, Ellie brought my food over.

"You okay?" she asked.

"How much of that could everyone hear?" I asked, sighing.

"Not much. But it's pretty clear what happened since you chased her out of here, kissed her, and she sped away."

"Great. Well, thanks for the food."

"You want me to pack it up for you so you can eat it at home?"

"Nah, that's okay. It'll help me calm down if I stay here."

She walked away to help another table and I started in on my meal. About ten minutes later, I noticed that girl, Paige, sitting alone at a table. She looked upset. I remembered that old saying, 'misery loves company' and picked up my food.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked when I got to the table. She jumped, startled—must have been deep in thought—then looked up at me and smiled.

"Um…sure," she said.

"You can say no if you want," I said, laughing a little. "But I promise I don't bite."

"It's fine, really. I'm just a little preoccupied. And I'm confused as to why you want to sit with me."

"Misery loves company, right? You looked a little upset."

"I'm just worried about Jay. He's my best friend—well, my only friend, really—and he's going through this tough time with his mom," she explained.

"Well, consider me a friend too. If you want, anyway. I could use a couple more myself," I said truthfully. Ellie and Alex were caught up in some big drama, Spinner was still lusting over some guy but wouldn't tell me who, and now I didn't really have Manny anymore.

"Why are you miserable?"

"Manny just broke up with me. She's been acting really crazy and then suddenly, BAM! I'm single again."

"Sorry to hear that. You guys looked perfect for each other."

"Well, looks can be deceiving I guess," I sighed.

Our conversation eventually branched off into a bunch of different things, and we were laughing together by the end of the meal. We almost went our separate ways, but I realized she was going to walk home and offered her a ride.

Emma

"Now you know, she's not a drug addict," Jay said quietly as we walked to the car. After his mom's favorite show—Instant Star—we visited with her for awhile. She was really funny and I could tell that Jay loved her so much. I still felt terribly guilty though.

"I'm sorry Jay, really," I said. I felt so embarrassed.

"It's okay. You didn't know," he said.

"That almost makes it worse," I groaned. "What happened to her?" I asked. "I mean, was she always…?"

"Yeah, she was born with a mild form of down syndrome. Her mentality is about that of a ten year old and it always will be. Do you want the full story?" he asked me.

"If that's okay with you."

"It's fine. Basically, when I was born, I lived with my mom and my grandmother. My mom's dad died before I was born. But when I was nine years old, my grandmother died. By then, my mom had this aide, Susan. She came over every day and took care of her and took her out to have fun. She left around dinner time, so I made dinner for us every night. I took care of her when Susan couldn't.

"Your mom found out about my grandmother three years later. I didn't tell her because I didn't want to be taken away from my mom. I convinced her to let us stay together, and she set up a bank account with money for groceries and other necessities and told me that if I ever needed help to just ask. About a year after that, Susan started working less—only until I got home from school—so I took care of her more.

"Last week I went out to the mall to bring Paige to work and then to The Dot to try to get a job. Paige and I stayed out late—I thought it would be fine since I'd asked Susan to come over and stay with her for the night. But apparently my mom fired her, which Susan knows she can't do, and Susan just left. She left her all alone and my mom was scared. Any kid would be scared being left alone for the first time. So she tried to come and find me. Some guy found her wandering around in her pajamas and brought her to the police station. And they took her away.

"I don't know what to do now. I've taken care of her for seven years. Now that she's in that home, it's easier for me. I don't have to look after anyone. But I'm so used to it that I miss her. And I feel horrible," he sighed.

"She seems happy there," I said, trying to make him feel better.

"I know, but it's just not the same as being home with me. I'm the only family that she's known."

"Do you mind if I ask…what does my uncle have to do with this? I mean, he's your dad, isn't he? But how?"

"My mom went to a normal high school that had a special program. Your mom and uncle went to the same school."

"To Degrassi?"

"Yeah," he said.

"So…"

"One day after school, when she was eighteen, she was attacked by a group of boys. Your uncle—my father—was one of them. And he raped her."

Alex

I still can't believe that Ellie did that to me, that she just went running back to her mom and agreed to forget all about me. I know she felt something and she knew I wasn't corrupting her. I decided to try to talk to her, a little more peacefully this time, so I went down to The Dot since I knew she was working. I took a table in her section and waited.

"Can I help you?" a waiter asked me a few minutes later.

"Where's Ellie? This is her section, isn't it?"

"Yes, but she's busy right now. I'll be your waiter for this evening."

"You're joking, right? There's no one here!" I stood up and walked around the guy, then went to the register. "Ellie!" I yelled in the direction of the office in the back. "I just want to talk to you, please!" I practically begged.

"Ma'am, if you're not going to eat anything, I'll have to ask you to leave," the waiter said, appearing at my side.

"What the hell is wrong with you people? I just want to talk to her. Can you go get her?" I asked him. "Please."

He walked away and into the back room. I waited a few minutes, hoping that Ellie would come out, but instead, it was the manager who decided to make an appearance.

"If you don't leave, we'll have to call the police to escort you out," she said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Fuck you lady! All I wanted to do was talk to her!" I screamed. Tears started dripping down my cheeks by then. "Tell her that she can go fuck herself! And make sure you ask her if this is all worth it!" I yelled before I left.

A/N: I don't know much at all about Down Syndrome, so sorry if the little bit of info about her mentality being that of a ten year old is incorrect. I know this chapter didn't have that much in it, but I'll have more in the next one, don't worry. Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter. Any predictions about what will happen next?