Okay, next chappie yay! I see people are not joining my site -- Why? Well, I'd like at least five more members to 'encourage' me to write more. (Yes, you're in the fanfic mafia and I'm threatening you) Please review and now on with the story!

Disclaimer: WATASHI. WA. KORE. HAGANE NO RENKINJUTSUSHI. YADA. (Fullmetal Alchemist is not mine)

I was listening to the Bad Touch again…

Blonds With Attitudes

Roy sat up with a jump and flipped off the back of the bed. Ed just kept staring into the barrel of Hawkeye's pistol. "L-lieutenant?" Ed said, shaking. "Edward, please do not tell me you're doing what I think you're doing," she said, continuing to point the gun at his head. Roy got up and his protective side kicked in. Poor him. "Lieutenant! I must ask you at once not to point that gun at Ed's head!" he said, grabbing Ed and slowly sliding him towards himself. Ed glared at Roy, since a gun was being pointed at them this probably wasn't the best action.

"Colonel! How could you? You've known him since he was a child! And he's still a minor, not to mention you're subordinate and a guy!" she said, then sighed and reholstered her weapon. They both sighed and got up. "Uhh…well, it just sort of happened," Roy said, laughing nervously and scratching the back of his head. She just glared at him. "Sir, we will further discuss this issue later but right now both of you are late for work! I will be waiting in the car," and with that, she turned on her heel and left. They both just stare at each other, then Ed said "I guess we'd better get ready."

Roy really wanted to take a shower together, but they didn't have the time and he was pretty sure Ed would just start blushing if he asked. Roy sighed as he got out of the shower, then walked across the hall to his room and saw Ed putting on his boots. He smiled and leaned against the doorframe, just watching him. "Hello," he said as he walked past Ed into the room, then began rummaging through his drawers for his boxers. He found them, then let the towel around his waist drop. Suddenly Ed was having some problems between his legs.

Ed started freaking and quickly sat on the bed. He tried to cross his legs, but that was just painful. "What is it?" Roy said as he walked over, still completely naked with his boxers in his hand. Not helping. Ed felt his pants jump. "Uhh, I'm f-fine," he said, quickly getting up before Roy noticed his problem. He just raised an eyebrow at him and continued getting dressed.

Roy walked downstairs to see Ed with his head down on the kitchen table. His problem still hadn't gone away. "What's wrong?" Roy said as he walked over. Ed's head shot up and he started blushing. "N-nothing, I'm fine," he said, forcing a smile. Roy looked at him suspiciously. "Okay, let's go before Hawkeye kills us," he said, grabbing Ed's hand and pulling him up. Ed stood up, and Roy noticed he was standing funny. "Uh, Ed? Do you have to use the bathroom?" he said. Ed turned ten shades of red. "N-no! Let's just go," he said, then shot out the door. Roy just shrugged and followed him out.

The car ride was quiet, Roy and Hawkeye in the front, and Ed sat in the back. They got to HQ and walked in to the main office of Roy's unit to find something they weren't expecting. The bulletin board, which usually held important military announcements, had Ed's boxers pinned to it, with a sign that said "lost and found". Ed got a nose bleed, and Roy accumulated an eye twitch. Hawkeye glared at both of them, then marched over to the bulletin board.

"Okay, who did this?" she said, pointing to it. They all contained their laughter, and by the size of the boxers it was obvious who they belonged to. But there was one who seemed to be having a harder time controlling their laughter than the rest. "Jean Havoc! Did you do this?" she said. He just rolled onto the floor laughing. "Sorry, I just couldn't help it! Who knew Ed would be sneaking girls into the colonel's office!" he said, and continued laughing. "Eh?" she said, staring at him. "Well, that's why you were shooting at them, right? They were fighting about it?" he said. Ed, Roy, and Hawkeye looked at each other and sweat-dropped.

Ed walked over, snatched his boxers of the board, then walked into Roy's office and slammed the door. Roy looked at everyone, then followed after. He got into his office, then looked at Ed, who was laying face down on the couch. "That was a close one," he mumbled. Roy smiled and sat next to him. "Yeah," he said, kissing his neck. Ed sat up with a jump, his former problem returning. Great, and it had just gone away. "What's wrong? You've been acting strange ever since I got out of the shower," he said, pulling Ed onto his lap so that their faces were almost touching. Roy moved his leg so that he was more comfortable, accidentally brushing against Ed's 'problem'.

"Oh," he said, smiling at the blond. He just started blushing. "So that's why you've been acting so strange," he said. "Would you like to fix that?" he said. Ed gasped, and was about to nod when the door flew open. "If you two do anything while you're here I will shoot you both!" she said in a loud whisper. She then shut the door and went back to her desk. They both looked at each other and sighed. Ed almost cried.

So, how was it? I know, kinda odd, but I plan on updating pretty soon! Please review and join my site! edxroysanctuary.proboards82 .com