Chapter Sixteen: Nothing Will Fix This

Emma

"So yesterday you never came back to lunch, and then you weren't in art class," I said to Craig the next morning. "Where'd you go? Did you and Spinner skip?"

"Something like that," he grumbled.

"Why are you in such a bad mood?" I asked him. His shoulders were slumped and he was frowning.

"I'm not!" he snapped. "Let's just go."

"Fine."

I followed him down the street and we made our way to school. Our morning walks used to be fun, but this one was full of silence. Every time I tried to start a conversation, he started to walk faster, ahead of me.

Craig went straight into the building when we got there—we usually made out on the steps if we got there early—and I followed him to his locker.

"Are you gonna talk to me at all? Or even look at me?" I asked.

"Emma, just please leave me alone right now."

"Not until you tell me what's going on," I protested. I put my hand on his arm. "Maybe I can help."

"First of all, you wouldn't understand. And second, I don't need your help," he spat.

"Craig!"

He slammed his locker, making me jump, and started to walk away. I followed him at a somewhat slow pace, and made sure I stayed a few feet behind him. When he was almost to his homeroom, Spinner came around the corner.

"Hey," he said.

"Get out of my way faggot!" Craig yelled, shoving past him.

"Craig!" I yelled after him. "What is wrong with you?"

"Leave me alone Emma!" he screamed without looking back.

"Are you okay?" I asked Spinner once Craig was gone.

"Yeah," he said, sighing.

"What was that all about?" I asked, hoping he might know.

"You'll have to ask him that," he told me.

"Because he really wants to talk to me," I said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry Emma. I wish I could help you out, but…"

"It's okay. Maybe he'll want to talk later," I said, sighing.

Or maybe we were breaking up.

Paige

I woke up and didn't know where I was at first. I rolled over and saw a picture of Manny next to the bed and remembered I stayed at Marco's house the night before. Then I looked at the clock next to Manny and realized I was late for school. I got up and found my clothes in a pile by the end of the bed—Marco had given me a big t-shirt to sleep in—and I pulled my jeans on and left the room.

I walked down the hall and found Spinner's room—we'd passed by it yesterday. Marco was sitting at the desk in the corner, typing away on the computer.

"Hey," I said quietly. He turned to look at me and smiled.

"Come on in," he told me.

"Where is everyone? We're late for school," I said.

"Spinner's already there. My dad's at work and my mom went to the grocery store. They said we could stay home today so we could go to your house and get your stuff," he replied.

"They said I could stay?" I asked. My stomach started fluttering—both from excitement and from nerves. What would my mother say? Would she let me leave?

"Yes; for as long as you need to. Why don't we just go now and get it over with?" he suggested.

"Sure," I said, swallowing hard.

Alex

I managed to drag myself to school and doodle my way through the first few classes, but then I decided to skip the one class I had with Ellie. It helped if I didn't have to see her while I was trying to forget about her.

The place everyone goes to when they skip class is The Dot, so that's where I headed. I walked as slowly as possible, taking up as much time as I could. It wasn't very far away though, so I made it there in less than twenty minutes. I picked a booth in the corner and ordered a burger and fries. I tried not to think about anything to make me sad, but that was ruined when I saw her walk in the door.

I wanted to run over to her and beg her to talk to me. I knew I was too weak to resist her. I was just about to stand up when I noticed that she wasn't alone. She was holding someone's hand. I'd seen him around before—he was the captain of the basketball team—and I knew his name was James or Jimmy or something like that.

I slumped down in the seat and put my head in my hands. I glanced through my fingers and saw them standing near the counter. Even though I still wanted to go over to her, all of those thoughts stopped when I saw them kiss. My stomach flopped and I immediately started to cry. How could she have moved on already? I knew I couldn't stay there any longer, so I jumped out of the booth and ran straight from the building, and straight into someone. I didn't bother to see who it was; I just kept going around to the back of the restaurant. I sank to the ground with my back to the wall.

"Hit and run, huh?" I heard a voice from above my shoulder. I looked up to see a blonde boy standing over me. He must have been the one I bumped into.

"Sorry," I mumbled. Tears ran down my cheeks but I was past the point of caring. I let some random guy see me at my worst; it just didn't matter anymore.

"You're Alex, right?" he asked.

"How do you know?"

"I've seen your picture. Seeing as I'm the vice president of Equality Club—thanks for the name, by the way—I have to know all the members," he explained.

"If you're the vice president, then why haven't I seen you before?"

"I've been—away. I'm sure you've heard of me though. I'm Peter," he said, sitting down next to me. I vaguely remembered hearing the name but that was all.

"I'm Alex. But you already knew that."

"Are you okay?" he asked me.

"Not really," I confessed. "I just saw my ex girlfriend with a guy and I'm not exactly over her." My tears were dried, but that didn't stop me from feeling hurt. I looked at Peter with a frown on my face. He surprised me by leaning forward and hugging me. "What was that for?" I asked when he leaned back again.

"Sometimes people just need to be hugged. I can usually tell when it's one of those times," he said.

"Thanks. But I better get back to school. I should be back before my next class starts," I sighed.

"Need a ride?" he asked me.

"Sure."

Peter helped me up and I followed him to his car. I looked over my shoulder as we drove away and saw Ellie and Jimmy holding hands and laughing together inside the restaurant. I turned back around and closed my eyes, trying to erase that picture from my mind.

Jay

Even though Manny usually made my life a living hell, I was really worried about her. I doubted that Marco was the one hurting her, especially since they were broken up and some of her bruises were new. I wasn't sure who else she interacted with on a daily basis, and the only person I could think of was her father. I decided to talk to her again at lunch, and this time I found her sitting on the ground under a tree.

"Is this patch of grass taken?" I asked, sitting down next to her before she could answer.

"Yes, it is," she snapped, inching away from me.

"Well then I'll just warm it until the occupant gets here."

"Will you ever take a hint and just leave me alone?" she asked.

"Not until you get help. Tell someone what's happening to you."

"Nothing is happening to me," she argued. I had to give her credit; she was a great liar. It was probably the reason why no one else had figured out why she suddenly turned into a bitch.

"Manny, I'm not your friend. You can't lie to me and make me believe you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, standing up.

"You can't just walk away from this," I said.

"No, but I can walk away from you." She turned and started to walk away but I got up and followed her. I walked around in front of her and she stopped and crossed her arms. "Get out of my way."

"Who's hurting you? Is it your dad?" I asked her.

"What? You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Yeah, I do. I can tell that I'm right by how much you're freaking out. And I know that you wouldn't wear the same scarf two days in a row unless you wanted to hide something."

"Or maybe I like the scarf. You really shouldn't butt into other people's business," she said.

"I'm not trying to bother you; I'm trying to help you. Your dad has no right to lay a hand on you, and it's not your fault. Just come with me to Ms. Sauvé. She can help you figure out how to stop it," I told her.

"There's nothing to stop. So leave me alone!" she yelled. She tried to walk around me but I stopped her.

"Take off your scarf."

"What?"

"Take off your scarf and prove that there's nothing to stop," I said.

"I'm not taking my scarf off for you!"

"Then I will." I reached up and started to untie it, but she started hitting me.

"Jay, stop!"

I kept trying to untie it but I wasn't getting anywhere. As she struggled against me, I realized that I was probably acting like her father did, and I stopped. But she didn't realize that one of her sleeves was pushed back a little.

"Manny, your arm…" I said. I pushed her sleeve back all the way and saw the bruises. I could see exactly where her dad grabbed her. She had a long cut going halfway up her arm too. "Did he…?" I couldn't finish my sentence. As soon as I paused, Manny ripped her arm away from me.

"Just forget you saw that and we'll be fine," she said quietly, fixing her sleeve.

"I can't forget it. You need help."

"I don't need anything. Just forget it!" This time she stormed off and I let her go. I knew I wasn't going to get through to her like this. I'd have to talk to someone on my own.

Marco

While Paige packed up her stuff, I waited by the door to her room. Steve wasn't there but her mom was downstairs watching TV, nursing a bottle of vodka. I watched as Paige rushed around, deciding what was important and what wasn't.

"Take whatever you want; we've got plenty of room in the van," I told her. She stopped and looked over at me.

"It's not that easy," she said with tears in her eyes. "What if I don't want to go?"

"Why would you want to stay here?" I asked.

"This is my home Marco; that's why. I can't just leave my mom with that creep!" she protested.

"The way you've been treated caused you to start cutting yourself. You can't stay if you want to get better."

"What if I leave and still don't get better? What if I can't stop, even after I'm away from all this?"

"It's okay to be afraid," I said, walking over to her. "You can get through this."

"What if I don't?" she repeated.

"You have to try," I told her. "You know you can't try here."

"I know." I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me. She started to cry and I hugged her tighter.

"Why don't we bring your stuff out to the van and then come back in to tell your mom," I suggested a few minutes later. Paige nodded but she didn't say anything. She zipped up the last duffel bag and we carried it all outside and packed it in the van. Paige's mom didn't even glance at us, even though we must have passed by her four times.

Once we finished, I followed Paige into the living room. She turned off the TV and faced her mom, who finally noticed us.

"Mom, we need to talk," she said.

"Why did you turn the TV off?" her mom snapped.

"I'm leaving. I'm living at Marco's for awhile," she said.

"That's nice honey. Can you turn it back on now? I don't want to miss the end of that show."

"Are you even listening to me?" she asked. "I'm moving into Marco's house. You don't even know who he is and you're not questioning me at all?"

"I had a really rough night last night, okay? I'm sure this Marco kid is great, and you know what you're doing. So turn it back on."

The woman acted like I wasn't standing right next to her daughter. She acted like she didn't care at all that her daughter was leaving home.

"Why don't you even care?" Paige cried. I could tell that she was trying as hard as she could to keep her composure.

"You know, Steve told me that you might try to leave me some day. I've gotten myself ready for it. So just leave. He's the only person I need right now."

"Steve is the reason…" I started to say, but Paige cut me off. Tears ran down her cheeks.

"I just need to go to the bathroom and then we can go," she said to me. She started towards the bathroom but I grabbed her arm.

"Let's just leave now. You can wait," I said.

"Marco, I'll be right back."

"I won't let you do this anymore!" I yelled. I knew why she was trying to get away. I knew what she wanted to do in that bathroom.

"Shut up! I can't hear my show!" her mom shouted. She had the TV back on already.

"Come on," I whispered. "Let's go."

I put an arm around her shoulders and led her out of there. It wasn't going to be easy, but I was determined to help her stop cutting, no matter what it took.

Craig

After school I stomped up to my room—still in a horrible mood. I turned my music up as loud as it would go and started drawing. It always helped me feel better. I didn't pay any attention to what I was doing; I just moved my pencil along with the music. When the song was over I looked at the paper. As soon as I saw it I threw it against the wall and let my head fall into my hands. How did this happen?

I heard someone knocking on the door but I ignored it. I didn't feel like talking to anyone at all. That didn't stop whoever it was, because my door opened a minute later.

"Turn it down!" Alex yelled over the music. I refused to look at her and I didn't move at all. I heard her cross the room and then suddenly it was silent.

"Just leave me alone," I said quietly. I could feel tears building behind my eyes.

"You're not the only one who had a bad day," she said. I felt my bed sag as she sat next to me. "You want to talk about it?" she asked.

"No."

Alex was the one person who knew me perfectly. She moved over and threw an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. I gratefully leaned into her and let the tears flow.

"I saw Ellie kissing Jimmy Brooks today and started to cry like a baby," she said. "I feel like this is still middle school," she sighed. "You know?"

"Not really. My problems definitely go beyond the middle school level," I told her.

"Well, when you feel like talking, I'm here," she said, hugging me one more time before standing up.

"Hey Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about Ellie," I said sincerely. "I know you love her."

"Thanks. I'm sorry about whatever's bothering you. I'll help you when you're ready," she said. I waited until she was gone before muttering:

"No one can help me out of this one."

I walked over to my sketch pad, ripped off the page, and threw it into the waste basket.