Authoress' Notes:

Well, I knew exactly where I wanted this chapter to go. I knew what should happen here. I'd even picked out the last two lines! But I couldn't figure out for the longest time how to get it to where I wanted. Then I decided that, since tomorrow is my birthday (SIXTEEN! –heart- -heart-), I'd just finish it as best I could as my present to y'all for my birthday. ('Cause I make sense like that.) So anyways, yeah, that's why it took longer than I'd expected. Sorry for the delay! (and for the fact that it's short x.x;)

DISCLAIMER: I DUN OWN ANYTHING!

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Chapter Three

It had been a couple of weeks since the first matchmaking fiasco, and it looked as if things might have settled back down again. Kazuki had gotten addicted to coffee, but there was only that one incident after the matchmaking, and honestly, how was he to have known that that delivery guy wasn't an enemy in disguise? Good thing the poor guy'd already gotten insurance.

So… story's over, right? No more matchmaking?

That's what everyone thought. But Kazuki and Emishi were merely biding their time. The time, they knew, had come. Time to put their plot into motion…

-

May I Have This Dance?

-

"It's time," Kazuki whispered, in passing, to Emishi. "Tonight," he added.

The Joker merely nodded slightly. He knew what the Threadmaster meant.

And all was calm and serene in the Honky Tonk. The unsuspecting mortals inside went about their daily lives as usual, stealing pizzas, gulping down said pizzas, electrocuting each other… but soon, their lives would all be changed.

-----

That night, all was silent. No shadow moved, no sound was heard. The clouds drifted quietly over the full moon.

Suddenly, the door opened. Kazuki crept in, followed by Emishi, who was holding a key he'd stolen the day before while Paul was occupied in rescuing a pizza from Ban and Ginji.

The two men were swift and sure in their preparations. Doors were locked, shutters drawn, stereos prepared. Disco balls soon hung from the ceiling, along with cheesy shoujo roses. Cherry blossoms drifted to the floor, where an elaborate machine, kind of like those in those dinky little fountains people have in their offices, sucked them up to the ceiling to fall again.

Finally, they were ready. Kazuki straightened, pulling a book out of his pocket. He and Emishi sat together at a booth while they opened Love Spells for Dummies to page 234. They leaned together to read over their instructions one last time.

Chapter Seventy-Two

How to Make Two Guys Fall in Love When One is a Former Gang Leader With a Dark and Mysterious Past and the Other is a Sadistic Transporter with a Dark and Mysterious Past and Both Want to, are Plotting to, Have Tried to and/or Have Succeeded in a Plot to Kill You and/or Your Associates

They thoroughly read the chapter. Emishi tapped his finger next to the last paragraph:

Remember! Before you begin the spell, make sure that everyone who participates chugs a glass of chocolate milk. Nesquik works best. Each glass should be exactly 7.32451 inches tall, 3.17528 inches in diameter, and be made of highest-quality clear glass, hand-blown at the little pizzeria across the street from your uncle Herman's house.

"Right!" Kazuki said. "Let's go check the kitchen."

The two poked about the kitchen for a while. "Hey, here we go!" Emishi called out from the closet.

"Emishi, come out of the closet! I can't see what you're talking about!" Kazuki replied.

Emishi brought out a box, which the two set on the counter.

GLASSY GLASSES! the box proclaimed. GENUINE HIGHEST-QUALITY HAND-BLOWN CLEAR GLASS! EACH GLASS 7.32451 INCHES TALL AND 3.17528 INCHES IN DIAMETER! HAND-BLOWN AT JOEY'S PIZZERIA!

"Hey, Joey's! My uncle Herman lives across from there!" Emishi exclaimed. "Joey's wife makes a mean pepperoni deep-dish!"

Kazuki grinned. "Good thing Ginji dropped his glass last week! Otherwise Paul never might have ordered these!"

He quickly went to the refrigerator and opened it. He poked his head inside. "Hey, where's the milk?"

Emishi shoved his head in under the Threadmaster's. "Right here, you idiot. In the Gatorade bottle."

Kazuki blushed, looking sheepish. "I knew that!" he said, taking the Gatorade bottle over to the counter. Emishi, meanwhile, rolled his eyes at the Threadmaster's stupidity, opened the box and pulled out two glasses. He then went to the cabinet.

"Umm, do we even have any Nesquik?"

Now Kazuki was the one rolling his eyes. "Who's stupid now? It's right here in the prunes box, you idiot!"

Kazuki ducked as Emishi aimed a half-hearted swipe at him. "I totally knew that!" the Joker said loftily.

The two swiftly mixed the Nesquik and the milk in their glasses. Kazuki lifted his glass.

"A toast!"

Emishi, too, lifted his glass. "A toast! To matchmaking!"

"To matchmaking!" Kazuki agreed. The glasses clinked together, and the two chugged their chocolate milk.

Now they moved back to the main room. Looking over their preparations, they turned towards each other, sharing a secretive smile.

It was time…

It was time… to begin.

Kazuki moved towards the stereo, pressing a button. The "Cha Cha Slide" began blasting out from the speakers. Standing in the middle of the room, they began dancing- but not according to the steps called. Oh no! This spell required that they go backwards. On "to the left" they went to the right. On "take it back now, y'all!" they took it forwards now, y'all! They hopped backwards instead of forwards.

Each time the order to "cha cha real smooth!" came on, Kazuki and Emishi instead did the Macarena. While Macarena-ing merrily along, they chanted, "Akabane! Akabane! Ginji! Ginji! Ginji! Ginji! Akabane! Akabane! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!"

After they were done, the two cleaned up and headed back to their homes, tired but pleased with a job well done.

-----

The next morning, Paul found the GLASSY GLASSES! box out on the counter. He knew for a fact that he'd left nothing on the counter the night before. Wondering what had happened, he checked the security cameras.

…on second thought, maybe he didn't want to know what had happened.

nyanyanyanyanya

If there actually is a Love Spells for Dummies book out there, do tell me, mmk? 'Cause that'll be really funny.

Oh, and in case people aren't seeing this… by shoujo roses I mean the kind that appear in series like "Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch" or "Tokyo Mew Mew". You know when the girl's love interest shows and he's (or she's) got sparklies all over and either rainbowy bubbles or sparkly roses floatin' around? Yeah, that's what I was referring to. And on a similar theme, there's that whole stereotype of floating cherry blossoms appearing for a love scene that I was makin' fun of there.

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