Up at the EL Neela took some time to breath and think about the last few days. She had done nothing but think about that night. Ray's face when she walked out of his apartment was etched into her brain onto a stone tablet. She closed her eyes and it was there, she opened her eyes and she saw all of the things that reminded her of him. She saw the hospital, which seemed to make everything worse. The past few days, actually made Neela think of Michael and out of all the people she could be thinking of, he was not the one she would have chosen. Was he why she was acting the way she was? Neela could feel her head throbbing and her eyes drooping as the lack of sleep was really starting to catch up with her. The constant roar of the EL gliding across its tracks was enough to drop the idea of sleep into her head, but every time it was close enough for Neela to grab at, one idea would keep her awake.
Neela's mind was drifting when she felt an arm rest upon her shoulder while she was sitting on the cold bench. She jumped and looked up to see the new doctor, Ryan Bayley looking back at her. Neela stared at him for a while and then he asked to sit down. Neela shook her head yes, but she didn't know what was going on. Neela was shivering, partly because of the cold, but mostly from the lack of sleep. He draped his lab coat around her and handed her his gloves.
"Did you know that it has been the coldest winter in Chicago since 1949?" Ryan asked Neela trying to decide weather or not he had offended her too much while back at the hospital; maybe he should have signed of for a Psychiatric Rotation.
"No actually, I did not know that, and if you don't mind…," Neela bit at him, still upset at his earlier comments.
"Look, I'm sorry. I thought you were a patient and about what I said, I'm sorry about that too. But you can really tell that you haven't been sleeping."
"Maybe you can, but you didn't have to say that."
"When you left to come out here, Abby showed me your picture. You were with a soldier and you looked really happy. You didn't look like this. If you got some sleep, maybe you would feel better."
"It's easy for you to say, but I can't sleep. I try and it usually ends up with me coming to the hospital or up here at the EL. I don't know what it is about the hospital, but it really draws you in. You feel safe there. I think that you may understand better once you've been a doctor here longer. It may look like a piece of crap now, but this place really grows on you."
"I think that I may see where you are coming from, in a weird convoluted sort of way." And for the first time in days Neela felt herself chuckle; well, almost. "Isn't there anywhere else better you could think of running to except up here in the freezing cold?"
"Not really, Abby and Luka just had their son. It's pretty weird going there and I had a room mate, but, well that's quite a long story."
"You know, I am usually scheduled for day shifts and you usually the night, so you could stay and my place for a while. We may go days, or even months without seeing each other."
"That's what my last room mate said."
"Oh, was he the type of room mate that always left his dirty dishes and used the last of the milk on his cereal and then forgot to buy some more?"
"You could say that."
"Because I can assure you, I am definitely not that kind of a guy."
"I really don't think that I want a room mate right now."
"Suite yourself, but you can stay there for the night if you want to."
"I'll think about it when I can think a little better."
"Well, I don't know when that will be if you don't get some sleep and I am sorry for what I said earlier about the way you look. It wasn't that true."
"Ha ha, very funny," Neela said in a very tired, monotonous manner as she laid her head on Ryan's shoulder. "Do you ever wonder what life would be like if something didn't happen?" Neela questioned.
"All of the time."
"Do you ever wonder why something did happen and then wonder why you don't want to except it?"
"I don't think that I know what you're saying."
"I'm not sure if I do either, It's just that all of these things keep happening and I can't keep track of them all."
"Why do you think I came here?"
"Well if you came to County to run from something, you have really came to the wrong place."
"Why?"
"I have been at County for about four years now and it would take me about twenty years just to tell you all of the stories about the men in the ER."
"You're room mate? Then silence. "Neela… Neela? Are you asleep?" Ryan turned slightly and saw Neela asleep on his shoulder. What a day.