Well, people. I am happy that I reached 100 reviews, but I am unhappy that I only got 3 for that chapter. Do you WANT me to cry? DX fine be mean I hope you enjoy this chapter and please note that this will NOT become an Mpreg. I'm not too fond of those actually, unless there's a really good plot. So on with the story!

Song I was listening to when I wrote this: random Linkin Park songs hehe

Ed's Lack Of Education

"Protection? From what?" Ed asked innocently. Roy was now sweating. 'Okay. It's no big deal. There's no WAY you have an STD, Mustang, get a hold of yourself. Actually, when was the last time you went to the doctor…well that was about 7 months ago for the annual exam the military assigns…oh crap Al's gonna kill you…' Mustang thought to himself as he mentally picked out his casket. Blue would be nice…

"OH MY GOD YOU DIDN'T USE PROTECTION?!?" Al screamed, then once again picked up Roy and shook him like a rag doll. Roy wore a blank face as he was tossed to and fro by the large metal body. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE RESPONSIBLE ONE! YOU HOMOSEXUAL STD CARRYING RAPIST!" Al yelled.

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"Can you hear anything?" Havoc asked Breda as they pressed their ears harder against the oak door. "…you homosexual STD carrying rapist!" "Holy crap what's going on in there?" Havoc said, quickly lighting up another cigarette and returning to the door.

Hawkeye sighed. She knew this would get out eventually, and it was time to do damage control. "Alright, everyone listen up! As I'm sure you're aware, two of the three people in that office are having a…certain relationship. As expected, you will respect your superior officers by keeping this low profile, Havoc." She said, glaring at the cigarette toting man. "What? I'm not the one banging-" he was cut off when a pistol was pointed at his forehead. "Of course I'll keep quiet hehe," he said, nervously rubbing the back of his head. "Now everyone get back to work drkljgelneslgms" Hawkeye yelled, flipping out and shooting two bullets in the roof. Havoc cowered in fear. "Aren't there people above us…?"

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"STD?" Ed said, paying no attention that his lover was being banged upside a wall. "Alphonse 'thud' can you please 'thud' put me down?" Roy managed to say in between bangs against the wall. "Al, put Mustang down," Ed said, shaking his head disapprovingly. Al released him and Mustang fell ungracefully to the floor. "Roy, what the heck is an STD?" Ed said, poking his lifeless form on the floor. "Uhh…" he moaned, sitting up and rubbing his head. "Who are you?" he said sarcastically. "Ha ha very funny okay what is it?" he said, crouching down and staring him in the eye.

"Hehe well you see, Edward, an STD is…asexuallytransmitteddisease," he said quickly. "WHAT?!? I could have diseases!?!" Ed said, freaking out. "Don't worry brother!" Al said, then noticed that Roy grabbed onto Ed's waist. What was he doing? "We'll get you to a hospital right away and-" suddenly Ed tried to bolt, but Roy held him fast. "NO WAY! I HATE HOSPITALS TRJJDFHCHF" Ed shouted as he tried to pry himself from Roy's grip. "Grab his arms, Alphonse!" Roy said as Ed flailed around.

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Havoc had somehow managed to slip past Hawkeye and was pried to the large door to Mustangs office. "I can't really hear anything…" he whispered to no one in particular. "…grab his arms, Alphonse!" "Oh my god gang rape?!?" Havoc yelled as comic tears rolled down his face. At this everyone in the room turned to stare at him. "JEAN HAVOC!" Hawkeye yelled as she abruptly sat up from her desk. "THEY'RE VIOLATIN' HIM IN THERE!" he yelled. .::BANG.:.BANG::. "I'm sorry first lieutenant!"

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"THERE'S NO FREAKIN WAY I'M GOIN TO THE DOCTOR!" Ed yelled as he tried to escape his bounds. At this point he was hog tied and placed on the couch. "Ed, when was the last time you had a doctor's check-up?" Roy asked, perking an eyebrow at him. 'This is no time for kinky thoughts, dammit.' "Roy, if you let me out of here, I promise I won't run away, pleeeeease?" he pleaded, batting his eyelashes. Must…stay strong…

Mustang sighed and sat on this couch. "LEMME GO ARG!!!" Ed said as he lunged towards Mustang and latched onto his shirt with his teeth. "Oh, come on, Ed!" Mustang said, and pulled away, affectively tearing his shirt. Luckily he had taken off his uniform jacket upon entering his office, so only his white undershirt had been ripped, exposing his toned torso. .::insert fangirl droolz here::.

"Sir, I came to check on you and-" Hawkeye said, walking into the office. Everyone looked up and she stopped when she saw the seen before her. "Sir, why is Ed tied up and why is your shirt ripped?" she asked, crossing her arms. Havoc poked his head in behind her and yelled. "Oh my god it is gang rape!!!" he yelled, throwing his arm dramatically over his face. Roy sighed. "Lieutenant, can you get a car to take Edward to the hospital for a check-up?" he said, rubbing his temples. "Uh, yes sir, right away."

Haha I had to write the chapter mostly to tie things together, but also for some comic release. The more reviews I get, the faster I update people so PLEASE review and visit my yaoi forum that has mangas and stuffies! muchik.proboards105 .com !