Disclaimer: Still don't own it! Oh, and I don't own the Chapter titles either. They're all lyrics from my favorite Alanis Morisette song, 'Ironic'. That was actually going to be the name of this fic, but I found the current one and liked it better, after changing the name. Cool points to anyone who can find the uber-secret connection the current title has to the fiction. Don't think the obvious.

WARNING: Not really a funny chapter at all. Yeah, even less than the others. The next two-three chapters will be more Kryan centric. The rest of the gang will show back up after that.

Chapter 3

"Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!"

The sounds of several rowdy twenty something's, mostly guys, could be heard as Ryan watched Kelly stand nervously behind a pitcher of beer.

"Come on Princess, I know you can chug that!" Dirk, one of Ryan's closest (and wildest) friends told her.

"Can I just sip it?" She smiled awkwardly. This so was not her scene. She was only here because if she didn't come along to these parties with Ryan she might never get to see him on the weekends. He was always with his friends. If this is where he wanted to be though, this is where she would be. Actually, she would much rather be curled up on her sofa at home with her new kittens Shiloh and Suri. They we're running a special re-mix version of 'Engaged and Underage' on MTV. She totally loved that show. Young love is so beautiful.

"Can you sip it? Ryan, she's not for real is she? Yeah, you can sip it. Let me get you a pink bendy straw" Dirk scoffed, and a majority of the crowd that was gathered around laughed. Kelly just smiled, and nodded shyly. For a moment, she had honestly thought he was serious. She didn't get sarcasm very well. She just didn't understand why people didn't come out and say what they meant without being so smart and mean about it. As cynical as Ryan was though, she was beginning to get used to it, so after a moment or so, she blushed and picked up the drink.

Just as she was about to hold her nose (she HATED the smell of beer) and go for it, she felt an arm slip around her waist, and she craned her head to see that Ryan was now standing behind her. He used his free hand to guide the pitcher, still tightly grasped by both her hands, up to his own lips. The crowd began the chant again, and in no time flat, Ryan had drained the pitcher.

That was probably the moment that Kelly knew she was in love with Ryan.

As embarrassed as he was by the fact that his girlfriend could get buzzed off a few sips of beer, and couldn't even chug one pitcher, when her eyes sparkled up at him with such a sincere thankful look, he couldn't help but kiss her hard. And when she breathed, "You're my hero." Into his ear, and he had one more beer, he was pretty sure Kelly was okay. Maybe he could break-up with her later, rather than sooner.

He wasn't going to get any work done tonight, and that was for sure. No matter how many times he looked over those finance reports, the numbers just kept running together. It was Friday night, and he just didn't feel like catching up on all this stuff. The weekends were for procrastination anyway.

Weekend fever. That's all this mental block was. It had nothing to do with the fact that somewhere back in Scranton, Toby Flanderson would probably be getting lucky with his girl in a couple hours. No. Never. Kelly wasn't that easy. Sure, she'd slept with him pretty quick, but she had really liked him, and thought he was special. Or, at least that's what she had said. And even if Toby did score with her, did he care?

No way. It was his funeral. Little did he know that as soon as they hit the sheets, it was like pressing the 'on' button to Kelly's extreme clingy-ness. He would be the one having to analyze Paris Hilton's comments to the paparazzi with her. The one to have to deal with her picking off every single fry, while swearing she never ate fried foods. The one who would have to lay on the phone with her while she practiced different answer greetings for work, for three hours. The one who had to surrender his favorite Pearl Jam T-Shirt, just so she could feel close to him at night. The one who got attacked by tickle hugs in the break room. The one who never went a day without getting a text message with some sort of forwarded poem and a Nick Lachey song blaring on the attachment. The one who got woken up at 4 A.M after she'd had a bad dream and needed someone to hold her while she got back to sleep. The one who was expected to kiss her at 10:10, 11:11, and 12:12 every day, just out of superstition. The one who she swore she couldn't live without.

Okay, so maybe the last few weren't that horrible, but overall, Kelly was one needy girl. He guessed if Toby had time for that sort of thing though, then maybe it could work out for them. Ha. He just hoped he didn't think she was anywhere near mature enough to play parent to that little girl. Sure, she would help her pick out cute outfits, do her hair, and play boring games with her for hours on end. But, what happened when she needed real help, or got sick when Toby wasn't around? Okay, she was pretty good at taking care of people too. And she wasn't the best cook, but her soups and grilled cheeses always came out all right.

Ah, who was he kidding, as naïve and wet behind the ears as she was, Kelly would make a phenomenal mother. She was warm and nurturing, and as sweet as could be. She would lay down her life for the people she loved.

Man, Toby is one lucky s.o.b. He thought agitatedly.

He had to get some fresh air.

"Come on, you know this one!" Kelly demanded light heartedly holding the rose colored card in her hand.

Her sister had gotten her the most awesome game for her birthday. It was called Destination Romance. You played it with you're significant other, and answered questions about famous romances through history, and movies, and books. Those questions were on the rose colored cards. On the light pink ones, were dares or 'quests' you were to complete together (which usually entailed telling the other person some intimate secret.) It was the BEST.

Ryan hated it. He hated everything she loved. She ignored his ever-sour mood though. Once he got to play, he would have to love it as much as she did.

"Kelly. I seriously have no idea what movie that's from." He sighed, and drummed his fingers on the couch boredly.

"Ryan B. Howard, we watched this movie last weekend! You said it was really good!" She whined.

No surprise. He told her every movie was really good. Forming real opinions required him to watch it. If he just said it was good, she wouldn't ask to many questions.

" I. Don't. Know" Ryan repeated, and attempted to flick the TV on, before she snatched the remote from his hands.

" 'You should be kissed often, and by somebody who knows how'. Gone With the Wind! Gosh, do you ever pay attention to anything when we're together? Sometimes I think you wait for me to close my mouth and open my-"

Ryan's cell phone cut her off, and she crossed her arms menacingly while he chatted animatedly with his friend Bruce. Seeing he might be in for fight when he hung up the phone, he sighed heavily, and picked up one of the light pink cards.

"Kiss the prettiest thing in the room. Hmm." He lied, and left the card on the floor.

Ryan crawled over the game board, knocking over the little pieces, which were hearts with faces, and kneeled beside Kelly who was propped against the couch. She pursed her lips, doing her best 'Angela face' and didn't even look at Ryan.

"Well, I know what the prettiest thing in my line of vision is, but something tells me she doesn't want to kiss me just now" Ryan said, twirling a piece of her hair around his finger.

Part of her just wanted to go gaga over his gesture, and smother him with kisses. But, she couldn't be that easily won. She had self-respect, and he'd been drowning her out all night, and had just taken a call right in the middle of a conversation. He was being beyond rude. So, she played stone, and craned her neck the opposite way.

Unfaltering, Ryan kissed her hair, and then began planting rougher kisses up her neck, trying to pull her face toward him with one hand. "Stop!" She whimpered, and tried to brush him off, but he persistently tugged until they were lip-locked. She was just about to give in; when she felt his hands undoing the top button of her mint green button up. Exasperated, she put both hands on his chest and gave a hard shove, and he landed on his back, lightly cracking his head on her coffee table. "Get off me you jerk!"

He was up in an instant, cursing under his breath while he looked for his jacket. "You don't want me here? Good. I'm gone. Bruce wanted me to meet him and the guys for poker anyway."

"Oh Ryan, I'm so sorry, I didn't meant to hurt you baby" She said, joining him near the door and tugging on his arm. "You don't have to leave! Stay, and we'll do whatever you want." So much for standing her ground.

"No, I'm going to have fun and drink with my friends. I had the worst possible day today, and the last thing I want is to spend anymore of it with you the way you're acting"

"I'm sorry, you were just being so rude to me. And my day wasn't good either. Angela called me a freak."

"Oh really? Yeah, sounds horrible Kelly. Want to hear about my day? Dwight took me on some freaked up hillbilly initiation thing, he had me in a barn and he asked me to get into a coffin and some weird guy named Mose was there, and Dwight said he was going to sow his seed in me or something, and then after all that, I find out I suck as a salesman. Then, I come here, and apparently I suck as a boyfriend too. Well, thanks a lot Kelly for being the cherry on the hap-hap-happiest day of my life. Great girlfriend skills there."

"Kelly Kapoor, you are the dumbest girl alive." The petite Indian girl stared at herself in the reflection of a Macy's department store, and repeated that statement aloud, several times.

She should be sitting in a dimly lit restaurant, sipping wine, refusing to eat snails, and being complimented by one of the sweetest guys she'd ever met. Toby wasn't the most dapper, or even handsome guy in the world, but it was hard to touch him in the area of just being plain good.

Tonight was going to be their first date, but she'd been out to lunch with him a couple times now, and that was enough for her to see he totally had the Lloyd Dobler thing down pat. She couldn't imagine why his wife had left him. That was a downfall she guessed, being divorced. It left you to constantly ask exactly what happened that was so bad it made a woman want to break her wedding vows.

She'd bought a new dress for the occasion. A gorgeous and slinky A-line number, with thin straps, and a plunging neckline, that was a dark shade of turquoise. With her faithful (yet painful) black pumps, and thin black wrap, it had been quite the ensemble. She's spent all day with her hair in pin curlers, studying Rachel Bilson's red carpet hair-do, and trying her best to reconstruct it.

At 5:00, she was dressed and ready, complete with make-up done by her Mary-Kay consultant neighbor, two whole hours before Toby was going to pick her up.

At 5:12, she called Toby and canceled. She felt bad feigning an allergy attack, but something in the pit of her stomach told her not to go. He seemed a bit bummed, but she promised to make it up to him at the Dunder-Mifflin Prom the following weekend.

At 5:20, she decided she was going to call him back and recant, but when she picked the phone up, she dialed her cousin instead and asked to borrow her car for a shopping trip to New York. She needed her prom dress anyway, and she wanted something spectacular. Something that would really make this night up to Toby.

Now, at nearly 8:oo, all she had to show for forty-five minutes of shopping was a pair of earrings on clearance at Saks Fifth Avenue. As her feet grew tired, and her sub-conscious tried to battle her real reason for coming here, her nerves wore thin. Wearing her date clothes shopping was not a good idea.

Taking a break after Macy's was a must. She totally needed some Starbucks. She didn't have much cash on her, and she didn't feel like writing a check for coffee, but she could probably get a caramel-cinnamon frappuchino with her last ten.

This Starbucks was the biggest one she'd ever been in, but it was still jam-packed. Once she had her coffee, she couldn't find one single place to sit. Great. Her feet were throbbing. One of her nails was broken from the jammed door, and her coffee was going to get cold. Just as she was about to push open the glass door, she was surprised to see an empty chair at the table next to the entrance. She looked up to ask the stranger if he minded her taking the chair, when she saw the stranger was no stranger at all.

"Kelly." Ryan breathed.