Disclaimer: Simply put I dont own crappppp.

Too Far Gone

I sat in that jail cell for as long as I could take. Not that it mattered much. Without Bella by my side I was worthless. I didn't care where I was, didn't care what I did. I just did not care with out my warm, loving, caring, and genuine Bella.

I was being sent home today. They could find nothing to charge me with, just as I knew they would. Carlisle came a few times over the several days I was stuck in this place. Because it was a Friday that I was put in, I was not released till the following Wednesday. But the days just melted into the next as I sat thinking of my decisions, the fact that I had let the only thing I loved die, the very thing that made my existence even somewhat meaningful.

The guards would get worried about me, and I think at one time they even had me on suicide watch. It made me scoff at the fact that soon I would indeed be doing just that. Not that they could stop me. No one could stop me now that I had nothing left to live for.

Nothing or anyone.

Sure I loved my family, but what would I be doing when I was around them besides sulking? Nothing, I would spend eternity just thinking of the way I would feel when Bella simply entered a room. I would sometimes sit and remember few of our arguments we had. The way she would yell and then scoff at me. But as soon as I would hug her and kiss her neck, I would feel her warm blush and know I was forgiven.

Bella's blush would be something I would miss dearly. It was part of the reason that I was drawn to her. Not to mention the blood that rushed to the surface of that fair, pale, skin. How could I ever have thought that I would harm her? I would never be able to hurt even a hair on her head. Her life was more fragile to me then the smallest of new born children.

But now she was gone. She was dead, and it was partially my fault. I was too stubborn for my own good. She wanted this life, and my selfish self wanted her to be one of me as well. I wanted to be able to hold her recklessly close with out having to worry about hurting or killing her. I wanted to be able to kiss her with out the fear of loosing control. I wanted to be able to walk into a room with her at my side for eternity.

I then realized that they were opening the door for me to leave. I walked out quickly and swiftly. The soon I was out of this room I would be able to go home, and lose myself in the thoughts of Bella. Her life was now a mere memory, but I would never allow those to die. Bella's memory would live forever, even after I died. In hell I would remember her.

I walked out doors into the misty morning of Forks. Carlisle was standing next to his car with a sympathetic smile on his face. As soon as I got close enough he embraced me with a hug. I felt the need to cling to him. The feeling of wanting to feel whole.

"I know this hurts," Alice has to come home soon. Carlisle told me with his mind. It was just lucky I caught it. I had taken to blocking out all thoughts that surrounded me. I was far too unsettled to be able to deal with other's thoughts as well as my own.

It struck me then; I had left Alice with Bella after her… Why was she gone this long?

"What do you mean 'Alice has to come home soon'?" I asked. He obviously hadn't expected me to be reading his mind then because his face widened with realization.

"She never came back after you got home." He was careful with his words, trying not to hurt me with remembrances of the day Bella passed. "We haven't heard much from her actually. But she called this morning to say she was well." I could tell he was telling the truth.

I simply shrugged and walked to the car and sat in the passenger seat. I didn't feel like standing in a parking lot with my father and the rain at the current time. Who knows when the thoughts and memories of her were going to strike me again? Of course it would be now.

We drove by the hospital on our way home; the memories began flooding my mind.

I remembered the first day I had seen Bella. The hospital was the place I rushed to get away from her.

Then when I saved her from Tyler's car, our argument over what I was ensued, I still remember how her lip pouted unknowingly during the conversation.

After we got back from phoenix and I took her to her regular doctor's visits to have her leg checked on.

Then finally, the final days of her life were spent in that hospital. Where I placed her wedding ring on her finger, where I promised her the wedding of her dreams.

I remembered how she looked at me the day I proposed. The smile on her face made me love her more at that moment. The thought brought an unintentional smile to my face.

By the time I had thought all of this I realized I was sitting alone in Carlisle's car that was parked in the drive way. I looked out the window to see sheets of rain falling. I leaned back in the seat and closed my eyes. I sat there listening to the rain and remembered how much Bella hated the rain.

I needed to be near her. I needed to be rescued from this pain, and she was the only one that could save me now. She was my superman in so many ways. She didn't need the super human speed or strength. She had the heart of a super hero, and the feelings she gave me were the only things keeping me glued together. Now that she was gone, I was falling apart.

I looked at the home I was due to inhabit. The thought that it would only be a week from today that I would be leaving this world brought small hope to me. I knew I would never go where Bella went but I knew that if I had to be away from her, then I would prefer to do it somewhere where people would not force me to remember her death. The sympathy I would receive would be enough to set me off. I knew that my anger would be doubled now, even towards my family. But at this point I figured that they would be the last ones to really see and interact with me.

With a grudging sigh I decided to exit the automobile and enter the household. I knew it took me mere moments to exit the small confines but it felt like an eternity. I had a feeling that the next week to come would feel a lot like this.

I approached the door at a human pace; I opened the door even slower. The scene that was before me was what I expected. The entire family, all except Alice who was still missing, sat in the living room, all wit sympathetic eyes. I did not need to be a mind reader to know what they were thinking and dismissed the looks without a second glance.

I quickly turned away from my family, the topaz eyes that stared back at me reminded me even more of the things that kept me and Bella from being together forever. Even in death we were put to the test. Our afterlives were rooting for our demise. Yet our love for each other would win out. Somehow, someway.

I snuck up to my room and sat on my couch. I quickly realized that was not a good idea.

This room held too many memories of times when Bella and I were so much happier, and alive. I looked around at the walls, of the window, of the light I should never be able to see again. Upon the walls sat the music that would make me feel so much better, but now only made my heart tear open that much more.

Without thinking I threw myself from the couch and upon the shelves containing the music. I threw the piles onto the other wall, causing the sounds of crashing and banging to be heard throughout the house. After I was done with the cd's I did not stop.

I went to the wall I had thrown all the cd's at and began punching them. I don't know how many times I punched the walls, or how many holes I had made. Only that there were now two arms around me and I was sobbing like a child. Because that's what I was, a hopeless child.

I turned to see who had stopped my rampage and upon turning I saw Jasper. He looked so hurt, as if he could feel my every hurt too. But then again, he could.

My eyes became soft under the realization. He too was dealing with the fact that his wife was missing. Of course it was nothing compared to the fact that Bella was gone. At least he knew she was coming back.

"Edward, I know how you feel, literally, and I'm here for you. This I so difficult for the both of us, I know that you tried so hard, but you have to try." I looked away from him then, He was about to start talking about her, the pain that I would feel from her name would be painful, but for some reason I knew I needed to listen. "For what it's worth, Bella always admired you; she always thought that you could make it through. But time was against you, but she always loved you." I finally looked into his eyes. I couldn't tell if it was his words or his extra skills that were making me feel less empty, but either way they seemed to allow the whole to stop feeling so raw, even if the feeling of pain was still there.

"I was blesses, I'd forgotten how to love. Until she came into my life." I uttered finally. Jasper just nodded and left me to be. I sat for what felt like years in my room.

I would still go through with the plan, I would still go to Italy in a week's time, but for now I had to make sure my family did not get involved.

A/N: So, It's short. Its sweet. And its just to let you know how Edward is doing.

Next Chapter is already half way done. AND Bella and Edward finally see eachother! Im sooo excited!!! Arent you?

Reviews are super. lol