MESAANA
Unlike Semirhage, or Graendal, the Chosen called Mesaana turned to the Dark Lord because she was not the best in her profession… her dreams were shattered when she was denied a place at Collam Daan.
- excerpt from 'The Forsaken'
The steady ticking of a clock was the only noise permeating the dull atmosphere of boredom and concentration that hung heavy in the air of the classroom. Saine Tarasind hated ticking clocks, the way they would interrupt her train of thought. She sat at the head of the classroom while several dozen students undertook their exam. Such an activity seemed pointless to her, but then, she knew first-hand how ridiculous the Collam Daan's requirements were.
This, then, was what she had been reduced to: trapped in the role of an instructor, teaching those who still had a chance to realise their dreams, rather than having them snatched away. These children were foolish, naïve. They couldn't understand what that was like. Neither did the board at the Collam Daan. It was obvious why they held her back. She could see it that day when she faced them, although she kept it inside. None of them had ever worked for anything in their lives. They must have had everything handed to them on a plate. They'd never encountered anyone who had given everything they had to their dream, to their chosen profession, and they were scared to death of her. In Saine's mind, in was always someone else's fault. But she wasn't willing to sit back and let them get the best of her.
Saine knew she was right, because to the best of her knowledge, she'd never been wrong. Her superior intellect had dazzled people from a young age, and her determination left them certain that she would go on to great things. For Saine, a place in Collam Daan should have just been the start; honours, a third name, perhaps even a place in the Hall of Servants, all this awaited her. And yet, one board decided she was 'unsuited for research' and all of a sudden, here she was. Had they any idea what it was like, to want something so badly and work so hard for it and then to lose it all in one day? And that's when realisation came to her; they could only have done what they had done if they didn't know that. Hence, they had never wanted for anything. The logic was clear in her mind.
Honours were only what were predicted for her, though. She couldn't say she cared much for titles. Recognition of power was for the vain and the greedy; Saine much preferred the feeling of superiority that was gained from the knowledge that you had done something worthwhile, that made you better than others, and to let them wallow in their own ignorance. But here she was not doing anything she could be proud of, just wasting time in repetitive and monotonous tasks, and she hated every second of it.
She had tried to adjust to this new position, she really had, to gain what power she could from what little authority she had as an instructor. She took control as best as she could in lessons, taught what she wanted to teach rather than what she was expected to, advancing or holding back students as she saw fit. But she knew she was just playing in her own microcosm while outside it, the real world and real power beckoned. So she could never really enjoy it, especially when it brought her into contact with students, who tended to annoy her with their questions and demands. What had they done to earn any of her wisdom and knowledge? Had they given everything for their studies and advancement? Saine doubted any of them were willing to make that sacrifice, as she had.
She had gained one thing, though, from this entire experience; a little more knowledge about how the minds of young people worked. She couldn't say she had understood much about children before, despite the fact that it was admittedly not so long since she had been one herself (or still was one, apparently, in the eyes of her 'superiors') and she had gained some valuable insight. Her attempts to glean some sort of power from her situation had made her realise something; children really did have a power all of their own. They had the potential to change the future in ways that their elders did not. Children could be controlled, manipulated and brainwashed in way that were impossible with adults; their minds were there to be shaped, and it was the teacher's task to do so. With a little more power, perhaps, she could shape them as she pleased rather than as those fools saw fit. Lessons could become doctrines, opinions could become facts, ideologies made real and concrete and certain. That was the real power available to a good teacher, and Saine was undoubtedly good at her profession, even if evaluations had mentioned that he resentful attitude greatly affected her skill.
She was certain that there was a way for her to escape that hell, one that she had yet to discover, but that she would find soon. And in quiet moments like this one, she planned exactly what she would do when that chance came, how she would take the power she had been given and turn it against those who had denied her in ways more terrible than anything they could imagine. Those thoughts were the only ones that gave her any pleasure here. She tapped her lip contemplatively as she observed the students placed in her 'care', indeed studying them most carefully. She idly wondered if anyone suspected what lay behind her pensive eyes, and she gave herself a satisfied smile. Only she could show them, once and for all, what true intelligence could do.
During the Breaking, bands of brigands looted, killed and destroyed almost as if in a race to see whether they could smash the world before the male Aes Sedai could; the common name for these brigands was 'Mesaana's Children'.
- excerpt from 'The Forsaken'
A/N: It's been a year to the day that I first started this story. It was supposed to be finished in about three months, so I guess I'm even slower than RJ. However, I take comfort in the knowledge that I made it all the way through this chapter without using the super clichéd 'Teach them all!' line.