Chapter 3: Tell Me

I realize now that I made the wrong move. I should have told her something other than how beautiful she looked. I swear, I couldn't think of anything else to say, it was like my mind went blank. I wanted to tell her how much I miss her.

It's been three days since our encounter and already I'm convinced that she's done with me. I don't want to seem like a bother to her, so I'm giving her a little time. Perhaps she's calmed down since then... I hope so. She's probably thinking that I'll leave again, but that's not the case. I ran from her once, and I am not looking forward to doing that again. I miss her so much, and the thought of getting home is what motivated me to make it through so far. I'm not giving up yet.

I'll go by to see her again today…hopefully it's not too soon…

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When I finally reached her house, I realized she wasn't home. The lights were off and the door was locked. I still have my key, but judging by our last encounter, she would probably have me arrested.

I decided to walk through Balamb and go sight seeing; after all, it's been awhile since I've been home. So much has changed, yet things still look the same. I should take a look around the town and enjoy the calm breeze.

I wonder if Zell is still here at the Auto Parts Mechanics shop? I guess I'll go visit him.

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The old building hadn't changed at all. It was still there with its garage door wide open and oil stains on the ground. Everything smelled like old motor oil and gas. I don't understand how mechanics can put up with this smell for so long. It's like they become immune to the stench or what have you.

Anyway, it looked like no one was there and I turned away.

"Hey! Hey!" I heard a familiar voice. I looked back and saw Zell walking out of the shop and wiping his hands on a dirty old rag, wearing his dark blue slacks; the usual uniform. "Squall? Is that you, man?"

"Zell, how's it going?"

"Hey, I'm good! Where have you been?" We greeted each other with the standard semi hug and pat on the back, it was all we had to do.

"Around."

"Wow… I can't believe I'm talkin' to you right now." He was happily smiling until he realized my answer. Around… And I guess it reminded him of my immediate dilemma. "So, have you seen her?"

"…Yeah."

"You got a lot of nerve coming back here, Squall. You hurt her so much, man. I'm surprised you're not in jail right now."

I looked at the ground sighing, "I know, but…"

"Don't worry about it. You're my pal, and I know things are rough for you right now. But listen Squall, you shouldn't be here anymore."

"Zell, don't tell me that. I have to do this. You don't know how long it took me to get this far, so don't try and scare me off now, okay?"

"I understand… Well anyway." His smile had returned. "Let me show you a few of the new engines I've been working on."

"Sure, why not?" I followed him inside. Hopefully this could ease my mind of a few worries for the time being…

Ever since I told Selphie about Squall being back in the picture, she's offered to keep Rori for me quite often. I guess she knows that I'm bound to be depressed and won't want Rori to see me that way. Selphie's right, I don't want Rori to see me this way, but I also…haven't told Squall about her yet… In a way…I really don't want him to know.

So I packed Rori's bags and told her that she was going to have fun at Selphie's house for a few days. In three days, I should have Squall out of my life for good.

I'm just glad she's really excited and happy to go. Rori hadn't whined or done anything rebellious when I dropped her off; instead, she was just grateful.

I did my best to look happy, and I guess I did a pretty good job at it too… Rori didn't suspect a thing. When I waved her off, I let out a sigh. Once Selphie's door closed, I felt my heart ache.

For four years, I've tried to let go of him and tell myself that I'm too good for him. But when he spoke to me the other day…I couldn't help but feel the need to embrace him. He looked so…good too; how many times I had dreamt he sneaked into my room and held me tightly in his arms like he used to do. Squall…

But, I can't take him back so easily, otherwise he'll think it's okay to leave me and will probably do it all over again.

If that's how it's going to be, then I definitely won't to take him back… at all.

The only thing I want out of him is an explanation. I want him to explain why he left me, and to tell me what I did wrong. That's all I want him to do.

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When I made it home, I saw Seifer's car outside, and I saw him leaning against its side. He smiled at me and pushed himself from the car.

"Hey sweetheart. Where have you been?" He cooed as he embraced me.

"I brought Rori over to Selphie's."

"Oh really? Does that mean you have other plans?"

"Well…" Yes Rinoa, you have those papers to send out and you have to talk with Squall, well not really talk but... Whatever just tell him you're busy so you can give yourself a day's rest to actually plan something to do! "I don't really have any plans, you want to come inside?" So much for that… Way to go, Rinoa.

"Nah, I have to run, but I came over to ask you out tonight. And with Rori at Selphie's, I guess you'll say yes?" He grinned, faint dimples appearing on the sides of his cheeks, so adorable…

"Hmm…where are you taking me?"

"Just to the restaurant. It'll be nice."

It's been a long time since I've gone out, hasn't it? …What reason do I have not to? If I stay here all night, I'll lose my mind. "Sure, I'll go."

"Great, I'll pick you up at seven."

"Alright, it's a date." I said, and Seifer kissed my mouth softly. He pulled away and walked over to the driver's side of his red sports car. It was a nice car, I had to admit, but it looked too sporty for me. I have a daughter, and I don't think that car suits people with children.

"See you later, Rinoa." He said as he pulled off. I smiled and waved goodbye. Now up these dreadful steps of mine, and into my lonely house.

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It's six forty-five. I wonder when he'll be here. I'm glad he's taking me out tonight. I'll do anything I can to get my mind off Squall.

I'm practically ready. All I had to do was take a bath, put on an evening gown, brush my hair, and freshen up a bit more.

Someone's knocking at the door, it must be him. When I opened the door, I saw Seifer there with a white rose. He was smiling peculiarly at me and I could smell his cologne from where I stood in the doorway. It smelled good, but I think too much of that scent will make my head hurt. I hope I survive tonight.

"A rose for the lady."

"Wow, for me, you shouldn't have." We laughed softly together as I took the rose from his hand. I don't really care for roses. I'd rather purple tulips; I love to see wild tulips. Squall always took me to Winhill for vacations and we'd sit and stare at the endless fields together, just the two of us.

"Rinoa, how are you feeling?" Seifer's gruff voice woke me from my daydream.

"I'm okay. Thanks for asking." I moved the rose to my face and took in its gentle aroma.

Seifer led me out of the house and took the keys from my hand. He locked the front door and walked me to his car. Ah, sweet chivalry…

We drove in his car to the local Balamb restaurant that wasn't too expensive, nor was it too ordinary. It's a decent place and casually suits any individual's taste. Besides, I could never tire of that view. Our seats granted us the best window view in the entire restaurant. We were near the docks, and the glass was open for all to see out, but I just love this relaxed view. I could see the endless ocean waves, and the glistening blue stars that were reflected by them, it's the most beautiful thing to ever experience…

Seifer asked me to dance with him, but I remembered I hadn't danced with anyone besides Squall. It's been too long for me, and I can't possibly dance; however, he refused to accept no as an answer, and pulled me onto the dance floor.

I was swayed and dipped and spun and who knows what else. I don't remember a thing. It was all a blur. As fun as it felt to lose myself out on the dance floor, I just didn't feel right.

Seifer realized my mood had changed and decided to take me home. Said he hoped he hadn't offended me, before he kissed me goodnight. Still, I felt like someone was watching me. Was it Squall?

I stood across the street hidden in the shadows, certain Rinoa wouldn't see me if she'd suddenly decided to take a walk that night. It looks like I was right to snoop around because a car pulled up and a man with blonde hair stepped out. Mystery man, perhaps?

I saw him greet her and hand her a rose; a rose, Rinoa always thought roses were overrated. The woman is a die-hard fan of tulips, and I was surprised when she just smiled at him for bringing her a rose. Had it been me, she would've lectured me continuously about the uniqueness of the tulip's origin and so on…

After the car pulled off from her house, I tried my best to remember the color of his car. Though it was growing late, I could still tell that he was driving some kind of fancy red car. I needed to see how close she and this man were, and how he was treating her.

I decided to stick around the house for their grand return. I prayed that he would do one thing wrong so it would give me reason to burst through these bushes and show him some manners.

That dress she chose to wear tonight, when had she bought it? I've never seen her in it before. It fit her figure perfectly too, curving her sides with its crème…and baring her back… I felt myself becoming jealous that she wore that dress for him.

…What was so special that made me leave her in the first place?

…Like I said, back then I was confused. I really don't understand it much myself. But I do know that Rinoa doesn't hate me as much as she claims to.

However…if she really doesn't love me anymore, it's going to hurt, but I…I'd want her to be happy. It's all that matters to me. I don't like to see her sad or crying all of the time, nor do I want to be the reason she's crying. …But I'll be damned if she's going to stay with him…

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As the night insects made their boisterous calls into the air, I heard the sound of a car pull up outside Rinoa's house once again. A few seconds later, Rinoa and the blonde emerged from the vehicle…and he walked her to the door, giving her a kiss… I felt my fist just aching to land on his cheek…but I managed to calm myself down…

If I'm going to get her back, I have to tell her something…I have to tell her soon…

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After Seifer's car pulled away, I sighed and went into my house, heading straight to my bedroom to change from this dreadful dress.

Only twenty minutes later, I heard a knock on the door. When I opened the door, I saw Squall. His face was blank and he seemed to be tired, he looked so rough. …I guess whatever it was he left me for wasn't that exciting.

"Hey." He said finally, and I could feel the nervousness in his voice when he said it too.

"Hi." I managed to sound a bit friendly, knowing full well that on the inside, I cringed in pain just by looking at him.

"Can I come in?"

"…No. I'm coming out." I said and walked around him, shutting the door behind myself. He seemed to smirk when I took a seat on the porch swing. "What do you want, Squall?"

He sighed as if in relief after I asked that question. I wonder what he was thinking.

"I'm just glad you didn't say that you hate me again." I heard him mumble.

But I do… I thought to myself and looked ahead at the road before my house.

He walked toward me and knelt down beside the swing while touching my hand. He caught me off my guard, but his voice grasped my attention, as he softly spoke, "…I'm sorry that I hurt you Rinoa. I was an idiot to leave you in the first place. I want you to know that it wasn't your fault; it was all mine. I…I just did what I wanted to do. But even back then, I didn't know what it was that I wanted. I was confused, and I couldn't focus on all the good things I had with you. Rin, I missed you everyday. Every single day." He grabbed my hand now, and I felt my eyes watering. The warmness of his hand on mine, he doesn't know how long I wanted to be this close to him. "I want you to forgive me, Rinoa. Please." His eyes are begging me, so how can I refuse?

"…I forgive you." When I said those words, I saw his face light up into a smile. That sweet smile of his was all it took to charm me before. It was something he had rarely done when I first met him, but throughout the years, he'd smile more and more. And the more he smiled, the more I felt myself becoming more attached to him.

He moved his hand up to my face and rubbed my cheek, "I love you, Rinoa."

"Squall…" My old feelings for him are begging me to release. I feel like my body is on fire right now, but I can't answer him. I can't return his answer. "I…" In a few more seconds, he could have me again. No, I have to put up a fight…I can't let him take me away. My eyes were closing and he moved closer to my face, "…I…"

-ring-

And the telephone rang, bringing me back to my senses… I was beside my bed, barely out of my dress. …It wasn't real…. Why, it felt so real…I had not a clue…

I felt tears stinging in the corners of my eyes when the phone proceeded to ring a third time. I had wiped them away and answered the phone, crying into the speaker, "Hello?"

"Mommy!" Her little voice boomed into my eardrum.

"Oh, Rori." I quickly pushed away my tears and cleared my throat. "Hi, sweetie, how are you doing?"

"…Momma…are you crying?"

"Good heavens no, what makes you think that?" I lied to the poor child…what'll become of me?

" 'Cause your voice sounds all fuzzy in the phone."

"Now that's just the phone line, it's probably tying with someone else's line too."

"…Oh."

"Well, are you having fun over at Selphie's?"

"Yeah! We made smores on the stove, and Uncle Irvy gave me piggy back rides, and Sefie taught me a few new songs!"

"Wow, sounds like you're having a blast!"

"Rori, are you finished dear?—Oh, Mommy, I was just calling to tell you good night and that I love you. Sefie's calling me now!"

"I love you too, sweetheart. Sleep tight, okay?"

"I will…G'night!"

"Goodnight..." I said as she smudged a kiss into the phone, and I pretended to kiss her back. As soon as her little voice disappeared from the receiver, I sighed heavily and hung the phone up. "…Rori."

Just as I ended my phone conversation, there was a soft rapping on the door. Somehow, I knew who would be there, waiting for me to open and speak. And as I opened the door, I met his icy blue eyes…though they seemed a bit saddened at the moment. "Squall…" I whispered. He looked exactly as he had in my hallucination moments before.

"…Rinoa, we really need to talk." His voice, oh my god…Squall… If only he knew…if only he knew how many times I cried out for him and reached over for him, only to feel that emptiness beside me. If only he knew…

"About what exactly?"

"…About everything." He sighed and placed a hand on his hip, "…Have you really moved on?" It's just like him to get straight to the point, although, I couldn't agree more…

"…Y-yes, I have." He cocked an eyebrow at me and smirked slightly. "What?" I asked, folding my arms.

"…It sounds like you hesitated that answer."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, forget that…I just came here to tell you…" He froze and looked at the floor of the porch. "…To tell you…"

"To tell me what, Squall?"

"…I miss you…" He said softly, looking up to me with pleading eyes. My knees weakened and I leaned on my door seal for support, grabbing the door and trying to close it, but Squall put his hand up before I could do anything else. "Rinoa, please wait! Rinoa!"

"Don't you do this to me!" I cried…I had let him see me cry…I wasn't supposed to…but I couldn't control myself. "Don't you do this to me Squall! Stay away from me! Go back to where you came from!" And with that, he allowed me to shut the door.

I had cried on my knees on the floor, I hadn't moved since he was there… I could still hear him standing outside, never wanting to leave from my porch… What would it take to send him away?

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Before I left her porch, I spoke, "…I'm not giving up on you, I promise." And with that spoken, I walked down the front steps with a slightly renewed hope. I'm not going to let her get away from me, nor am I going to lose her again.

Once Upon an Author's Words

Hey everyone, guess what, I've decided to update this story again. I'll work on it, as my motto goes, "I promise I'll complete every project I begin." So expect to see this story updated regularly. (Every week or so.) I'm still working on another story, but…I really want to take my time on it. Oh yeah, the next chapter introduces the story from the basic view of everyone, and no longer just Rinoa and Squall's.

Thanks to my reviewers for inspiring to continue with this story.

Amy1-(I don't want to keep you waiting, and I know its been a really long time. I'm so sorry:) )

Platonic1- (Don't worry, I know Quistis is bound to join in soon.)

Ayato-(Finally, an update. Thanks so much! I hope you enjoy this story as well.)

Lady-Rinoa-(Yeah, I thought this story was hidden in the midst…but lol, you found it.

Tsuki Leonhart-(Hey! lol I don't know, I'm still stuck on Squall and Rinoa, but eventually I'll write Irvine and Selphie stories. You know, there's a bit of Selvine in here, so you're not out of luck, hehe. Enjoy the upcoming chapters as well.)

Rinleonhart-(Thank you, at that point in time, I thought even I had given up this story.)

I won't begin anything else until this one is done. Now you guys have survived the long introduction! (Yep, 3 whole chapters) Just wait until this story picks up the pace. Isn't Rori adorable? Aww…lol

Anyway, I'll get to work. Let me know if you like it or not, and I'll work even harder. (No, I'm not all weird-out by the T-Rex fest, lol. I'm still alive!)

StardustRay