Disclaimer: Harrry Potter in all it's magnificence belongs to the amazing J.K. Rowling.
A/N: Please please please don't hate me for the delay in updating. I had this chapter nearly complete, and then my hard drive completely died. That took forever to fix, then I was on vacation with limited internet access. Then every time I went to rewrite this chapter, I would get frustrated cause I forgot what I wrote the first time, and there were so many different ways this chapter could have gone that I had trouble choosing one. All I know is that the chapter you are reading is very different than the chapter which I had originally planned out, that's not to say it's better or worse, it's just different.
So, I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you forgive me. But rest assured, I have promised in the past that I will never give up on a fic once I start posting it, so no matter how long it takes, I will keep working at this fic until it is complete.
With that said, I would like to thank all the wonderful, loyal, and patient readers who reviewed last chapter. You guys are what kept me going when I felt too frustrated to write anymore. I apologize for not writing individual comments because I know people like them, and I really appreciate your comments and reviews.I should have time to write them for those who reviewthis chapter. Thank you so much everyone!
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Finally, after much too long a wait, here is chapter 6:
Chapter 6: Keeping Secrets
Hermione woke up just as the sun was sending its first rays into the room through the balcony door window. Her eyes were greeted by the form of Draco still slumbering beside her. The comforter had slid down during the night revealing Draco's toned chest. Hermione gently stroked his pale skin as the thoughts which she had repressed the night before invaded her mind. She was not daring enough to hope that Draco would not continue to question her about what had happened until he got a satisfactory answer. And she could tell already that she was going to crack with all the secrets she was going to be keeping from him.
Plus the weight of her first task was already taking its toll on her mind. Dumbledore needed that information quickly, and finding it was going to take a lot of time and research; time which would have otherwise been spent with Draco. She let out a sigh, and her eyes shot open when she felt Draco shift beside her.
He was now lying on his side and sending her a curious look, "what are you thinking about?" he asked in a whisper. He stroked her hair away from her face, and continued stroking it as he awaited her response.
Hermione closed her eyes and for an all too brief moment drowned herself in the feel of the moment. She brought her hand to his, removed it from her hair, and instead brought it to her lips and kissed every one of his fingers. "I was just thinking," she answered in a small voice.
"About what?" he removed his hand from hers and placed it on her waist underneath the covers.
"Training I guess," she lied. "We're meeting our mentors today, so I guess I'm a little worried about that."
Draco sent her a skeptical look. Hermione's face had appeared worried, and in his experience there was no test or class which caused Hermione to worry like that. Sure she would get antsy, but underneath the worry in her face, there was always excitement in her eyes. Draco gazed deep into her eyes but could find no trace of excitement in them. In fact, her smile even faltered a bit beneath his intense gaze.
'Shit, he knows I'm lying, I know he knows. What am I going to do?' Hermione panicked, though she did her best to hide it on her face she knew that somehow Draco could see right through her.
Draco frowned, his suspicions from the night before bombarded his mind again. Hermione was hiding something from him. "That's not it," he said "there's something more bothering you, I can see it in your eyes. Tell me."
His voice was calm, but his tone was stern. Hermione knew there was no way for her to get around the questions this time, and she dreaded what would come of the impending discussion. Hermione quickly fixed her face into what she hoped was a reassuring smile. She leaned in and kissed his lips, but noted that he did not respond, "Draco, there's nothing bothering me, I swear." She was relieved that her voice was steady, because inside her heart was thumping so loud she thought Draco might actually hear it. "Really, there's nothing, and I promise that it anything ever is bothering me, you'll be the very first person I tell."
Hermione smiled at her boyfriend, but he did not return the gesture. His gaze was searching her, and she did not like it. 'Keep it calm Hermione,' she coached herself, 'Don't lose it now.'
"Draco, really I swear, there's nothing wrong," she assured one last time.
Draco just sighed and rolled away from her off the bed. Hermione did her best to keep her face cheerful. "Do you mind if I take a quick shower?" Hermione asked.
"Go right ahead," Draco said as he waved his hand towards the bathroom.
Hermione locked herself inside the bathroom and took the deep breath she had been holding in since Draco had begun questioning her. She leaned her head back against the door and finally allowed her inner worry to wash onto her face. 'How am I ever going to make it through this?' she asked herself as she prepared the water for her shower.
Back in his room, Draco dressed himself, his expression was stern and his mind was far away. He did his best to chase away the idea that Hermione was hiding something from him. But Hermione wasn't good at lying and he could see it in her eyes and in her false smile. There was something going on and he was angry at her for keeping secrets from him and for daring to lie to his face. It just didn't make sense, she hadn't had anything to hide when he got back, but now all of a sudden she was acting strangely. Draco decided to begin by asking her again what had kept her the day before. He resolved to sound as nonchalant as possible, a task which was certain to be easier for him than it apparently was for Hermione since he had practiced the skill his entire life.
He could still hear the water running in the shower as he sat on the edge of the bed. He opened the drawer to the bedside table and removed the box which contained the gift he had bought for Hermione in Australia but had still not given to her. He opened the small box and gazed at its contents. With the way she was acting at the moment, he wondered if he would ever find the perfect time to give it to her. "What are you hiding?" he asked aloud in a dejected whisper.
After a couple moments, he heard the water stop, and in an instant he closed the box and returned it to its hiding place in the drawer. He then got up and walked out to the balcony so as to buy time to collect himself so that he didn't come across too harsh when he questioned Hermione.
Hermione spent her shower thinking of what to say to Draco when she got out. She was not foolish enough to believe he'd let the matter slide as he had last night. She finished dressing, viewed herself in the mirror and whispered, "here goes nothing."
When upon exiting the bathroom, Hermione did not immediately see Draco, she panicked. She thought that he had left her alone to find her way through his expansive Manor. She rushed over to the door threw it open and called "Draco!"
"I'm right here," Draco responded, though he made no movement to leave the balcony.
Hermione whipped around and let out a breath when she saw Draco standing just outside. She caught her breath as she made her way across the room. The fact that Draco kept his back towards her increased her sense of apprehension. She could almost feel the coldness emanating from him as she settled herself beside him. She faced forward towards the sun but her eyes darted up to Draco's face, trying to discern what he was thinking. "It's a beautiful view," she said to finally break the uneasy silence.
Draco merely huffed and remained silent for a moment longer. All of a sudden, he turned to face Hermione, "what was it that came up yesterday?" Though his voice was surprisingly light Hermione inwardly flinched as if he'd shouted at her. And no matter how calm his voice sounded, she could not ignore his piercing gaze. He could see through her as if she was made of glass, and she knew it.
"I told you, it was nothing. Just something I forgot about that's all," she answered with a shrug.
"What something?" Draco was growing impatient.
"Nothing!" Hermione said a bit louder than she intended. But she was growing frustrated as well. "Why can't you just let it go? We're together now so why can't you just be happy with that?"
Draco's cool expression turned to an angry frown, "because you're hiding something from me and I want to know what it is!"
"I'm not hiding anything Draco!" Hermione shouted back.
"Then why can't you just tell me where you were yesterday?"
"Because I just can't!" Hermione shot back on instinct, but as soon as she spoke, she knew she'd said the wrong thing. She had admitted that she had something to hide.
For a moment, Draco looked like he was going to lose his temper. Until finally he turned back to the balcony and glared towards the sun. "Don't you have training to get to?"
Hermione, who had expected him to rage at her, was rather disappointed in his sudden lack of interest. She scoffed, "that's it? That's all you have to say to me?" She waited for a response, but when none came, she continued. "Well fine! If you're just going to stand there and be a stubborn arse, that's just fine with me!"
Hermione was halfway across the room before Draco spoke again. "who were you with?"
Hermione froze, "what?" she slowly turned around aghast.
"Who were you with?" Draco repeated, finally stepping back inside.
"Is that what you think? That I put off our time together because I'm cheating on you with someone else?"
"Well as I see it, that's the only option that makes any sense!" Draco fired back. But his anger was now loosing ground to another emotion. One which made Draco feel weak, and small, he felt vulnerable, and he did not like it.
For a long moment, Hermione stood still gazing at Draco with a look of complete shock. She had been so preoccupied with worry that it never crossed her mind that he would jump to a conclusion which to her was completely insane. On the one hand, she was hurt that he would think she would betray him like that (although considering the fact that she was lying she supposed it wasn't a big leap to make the assumption which Draco had.) But on the other hand, she was flattered in a way, flattered that he felt other guys would even give her the time of day and be a threat to their relationship.
"Baby is that really what you think?" Hermione asked in a soothing tone as she stepped towards him and placed her hand on his cheek.
Draco didn't respond, nor did he move or meet her eye.
"Draco you listen to me," Hermione waited until Draco looked her in the eye before continuing. Her gaze was serious, and her tone firm, yet caring, "I love you. If you believe anything, please believe that. You never have to question my love and devotion to you, and I hope you trust me about that."
Draco listened to every word Hermione said, but even more than that, he examined her face and her eyes. Unlike earlier, they revealed nothing but truth. Her tone resounded in his chest, she needed him to believe her, and she was striving for his trust. He still felt there was something going on, but the fact that she was still true to him left him feeling a bit more comfortable. "I trust you," he finally said, "and I'm sorry I doubted you for even a moment."
Hermione smiled the first true smile she had made all morning, "you're forgiven."
Draco then led Hermione down to the breakfast room where the house-elves provided them with an amazing breakfast consisting of all Hermione's favorites.
"Do you think you'll be able to come by after training?" Draco asked once they were finished.
"I don't know, we're meeting our mentors today and Kingsley said that we may have to stay later so that we have time to go over everything."
Draco merely nodded and directed his eyes toward his empty plate.
Hermione bit her lip. "If you're not doing anything today, why don't you stop by the Ministry around 1 for lunch?"
Draco appeared to brighten slightly at the invitation, and as he was not doing anything, he accepted.
"Excellent!" smiled Hermione. She then stood up and walked out to the hall, "Speaking of training, I had better get going."
Draco followed her, and held her by the waist before she could get to the door. He leaned in for a hungry kiss, "stay just a little bit longer," he pleaded.
Hermione allowed herself to return the kiss and even to wrap her arms tight around his neck. But just before she lost control and got carried away by his sweet caresses she broke away.
Draco moaned and attempted to pull her back. But she resisted by turning her head and pushing him away again. "Ouch," Draco clutched his chest as if he'd been mortally wounded.
Hermione giggled and kissed his cheek, "Do you think you'll live?"
"I guess we'll find out this afternoon, if you don't see me, then you'll know that I've died."
"You'll live." Hermione squeezed his hand and opened the front door.
"Well if I don't, you'll have to wrestle with the knowledge that you're the one who killed me!" Draco called after her.
"That would be too bad," mused Hermione jokingly, "although I'm sure Harry and Ron would love me if they knew I killed you.
Draco smirked, showing that he was not amused. Hermione just laughed at him, "I'll see you at lunch then!" and with that, she disapparated.
Draco stood for another couple minutes at the door after she'd gone before he closed it. There was still something not right, but he could not determine what it was. He didn't move from his spot until all of a sudden, his left arm seized up in pain. He clutched it as hard as he could and nearly doubled over with pain. He scratched at his sleeve until it was above his elbow, and he could clearly see the Dark Mark burning black. He clawed at the Mark until the pain began to subside and the black faded back into blood red.
Draco let out a roar of frustration and anger. He was so preoccupied with his rage that he did not notice the figure dart behind one of the garden trees as he closed the door. Draco's legs led him into one of the sitting rooms, and there he paced around like a tiger trapped in a cage which was too small. He had to get out, go somewhere and do something.
Without much of a thought as to where he would go or why, Draco stormed out of his Manor and apparated to the first place that popped into his head. From behind the tree in the garden, the figure concentrated on his quarry and disapparated with a loud pop.
Draco apparated to the top of a small hill in the picturesque city of Bath. He didn't know what it was that had brought him here, he had never been particularly partial to Bath, although he had to admit it was a beautiful place. However, deciding it best not to question his instincts, he set off down the hill to explore the city and hopefully find something which would strike his fancy.
Draco was halfway down the hill when a peculiar sensation overtook him, he felt as if he was being watched. He whipped around and scanned the top of the hill again, but when he found nothing out of the ordinary, he continued on his way.
- - - - - - - - - -
Seconds after leaving Draco's, Hermione reappeared in the Ministry lobby. A glance at the clock told her that she needed to run in order to get to training on time. She dashed through the hall and sped into the room, her cheeks slightly pink from sprinting so fast. All four of the boys watched her as she entered the room and plopped down in the seat next to Ron. "Hi," she said to Harry and Ron in between breaths.
"Hey," they answered.
"Cutting it rather close today don't you think?" Harry asked in a joking manner.
"Of course not," Hermione laughed.
"You had fun then?" asked Harry.
Hermione's eyes darted over to Michael and Toby before confirming that she did have fun.
"We were beginning to worry you might not show up," commented Ron, who had missed Hermione's eye movements. Harry however got the hint that something was up and sent her a small nod as if to say that they'd talk later.
Hermione pretended to be offended by Ron's comment, "Ron Weasley, how long have you known me? Since when have I ever blown off a responsibility without a good reason?"
Ron and Harry smiled. "You're right," agreed Ron, "I don't know what I was thinking."
The morning's training session was spent practicing more practical spells. Hermione and Harry formed one pair, while Ron, Michael and Toby took turns practicing on each other. Hermione and Harry began by practicing, however after a while, they moved away from the other group to talk. "What's up?" Harry began.
For the first time since she'd arrived at the Ministry Hermione allowed her smile to slip. "Harry I don't know what to do." She told Harry about the fight with Draco. "I managed to avoid the question and left on good terms, but I can't keep hiding stuff from him forever. He knows me too well, he can see through me better than anyone, even you and Ron."
"Hermione no matter what he says or does, you can't tell him," whispered Harry.
"I know!" Hermione retorted a bit too harshly. She took a calming breath, "I know I can't tell him, but I don't know how to keep everything from him without destroying our relationship."
Harry paused; he was hesitant to voice the response which had come to him because he knew Hermione would not like hearing it. And if he was honest with himself, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear her answer to his question. Nevertheless, he said what he was thinking, "If it's going to be that big of a problem, then I guess you have to decide where your priorities are, what's more important to you?"
Hermione gaped at him, too shocked to speak. She attempted to say something a couple times, but all that came out were a series of indiscernible squeaks.
"I don't see much practicing going on over there!" called Kingsley from across the room.
Michael and Toby made catcalls, while Ron looked curious.
Harry returned to the center of the room with a plain look on his face, but Hermione took a moment longer to collect herself and regain her composure. She was not entirely successful however for she still looked rather angry when she rejoined the group.
"Now what would your boyfriend say if he knew we all caught and Harry whispering to each other in a corner during practice like that?" taunted Michael.
That snapped Hermione's last nerve. "STUPIFY!" she roared. The spell hit Michael so hard that he flew back and hit the wall behind him with a loud crack.
"Expelliarmus!" Kingsley yelled. He caught Hermione's wand with his free hand, and sent her an angry glare before striding to where Michael lay unconscious. "Ennervate."
Michael moaned as he came too, but as soon as he opened his eyes he closed them and passed out again due to having his head slam into the wall.
"Toby, Ron, would you to bring him to the healer's office?" Toby and Ron nodded, and then lifted Michael up to carry him to the office. "Hermione, a word if you please. We'll be back in a few minutes Harry."
Hermione followed Kingsley out of the room and into his office with her head down. She knew that she had gone too far when she hexed Michael, but at the same time, she wasn't sorry for what she had done.
"Would you care to explain what happened in there?"
"Sorry sir, I lost my temper."
"You have never been one to loose her cool without a good reason Hermione. Care to tell me what's really bothering you?"
Hermione raised her gaze to meet Kingsley's. She debated lying to him, but somehow the idea that he may be able to help her with her problem gave her comfort enough to confess what was really going on. "It's got to do with the Order."
Kingsley cocked his head.
"And, with Draco," she added in a much smaller voice.
Kingsley's curiosity turned to a stern expression, he was aware that she was dating Draco, but he still did not fully approve of it; especially considering her duties to the Order.
Hermione bit her lip before letting everything pour out. "Yesterday I had to cancel on him because of the Order meeting, and I'm already hiding so many things from him, and now I have this big task to do which I also have to hide. Plus, it's going to take so much time to do and I don't know how I'll be able to take it. It's already wearing me out. And then in there," Hermione gestured back to the practice room "I was talking to Harry about the problem with Draco, and he basically told me I had to choose between the Order and Draco."
"We all have to make sacrifices for the things we care about Hermione," Kingsley said.
Hermione blinked. That was not the sort of response she had been expecting, or hoping for at all.
"I think Harry's right," continued Kingsley, "If keeping secrets from Draco is going to be too much of an issue for you, then you must decide which is more important to you."
Hermione scoffed and looked outraged, "how can you ask me to do that!"
"Not everything in life is easy Hermione." The two stood in a tense silence after that statement. Hermione was sending Kingsley a death glare, and Kingsley was thinking hard about how to help his new protégé. "I will do what I can to help you, but as long as you are in the Order you will be forced to hide things from Draco. I'm sorry but there is nothing I can do about that. And we really need an intelligent witch like you."
Hermione nodded, it was painfully clear which choice Harry and Kingsley wanted her to make.
"Now, I need to go check on Michael, I imagine you gave him quite a headache."
Hermione snorted, "he deserved it."
Kingsley just smiled, "why don't you stay here a couple minutes to collect yourself and think things over, and then come back to practice when you're ready."
"Thank you," Hermione muttered.
"And Hermione, whenever you need to talk about something like this, you can come to me. That's one of the things a mentor is for."
Hermione nodded, but only managed half a smile.
Once Kingsley left, Hermione slumped down into a chair next to his desk and massaged her temple while she thought. There was no way she was going to leave Draco just because of the Order. But there was also no chance of her leaving the Order to be with Draco, there were just too many people counting on her. "I'll just have to make it work," she decided aloud. "I've gotten though worse than this plenty of times before. I just need to get organized and stop worrying so much."
As she shuffled back to the practice room she decided that before she went to bed, she would create a schedule. That way she could plan out when she would work on order business, when she would spend time with Draco, and at the same time make sure she still had free time with Harry and Ron. She knew it would be tough, but she had to make it work, there was no other choice.
She opened the door and slipped unnoticed into the practice room. Harry, Ron and Toby were taking turns firing curses at each other when Hermione approached. Once she arrived, the boys stopped and regrouped so that Hermione and Ron formed one pair while Harry and Toby formed the other.
They practiced in silence until it was time to break for lunch. "Alright everyone!" bellowed Kingsley, "that was a very good practice. We will not be meeting together this afternoon, instead you will head directly to your mentors office at 2 o'clock for the rest of the day.
The four trainees nodded and then made their way out of the practice room.
"Intense practice huh guys," stated Ron. "Hermione you really took care of Mike there!"
"Yeah well I'm sick of his taunts," muttered Hermione in a tone that clearly told Ron to drop the subject. "I'm going this way," Hermione said when the group came to a break in the hall.
"Why? Aren't you coming to lunch?" asked Harry.
"No, Draco's meeting me for lunch, so I'll catch you and Ron back home."
"Oh, ok, bye," said Harry.
"Yeah bye!" agreed Ron.
A welcomed wave of relief flowed through Hermione when she arrived in the lobby to find Draco waiting for her. They met by the fountain and greeted each other with a sweet kiss. "It's so good to see you," said Hermione in a relieved tone.
Draco lifted an eyebrow, "we just saw each other this morning, did you really miss me that much, or did you just have a bad training session?"
"Both," Hermione admitted.
"Well, why don't we apparate to Diagon Alley and you can tell me all about it."
"That sounds like a perfect plan." Hermione took his hand, and together they apparated just outside the Leaky Cauldron.
"Where would you like to eat?" asked Draco.
"Let's see, not the Leaky Cauldron, it's so dark in there. Let's find a more cheerful place."
"Alright." Draco led the way through the street, which was bustling with people out for a day of shopping as well as people on their lunch breaks. "How about that one?" Draco pointed to a medium sized restaurant which had a lot of windows to allow the sun to shine through.
"That looks perfect," Hermione smiled and kissed Draco's cheek.
The waitress seated Draco and Hermione in a table for two by a large window where they could watch the people on the street and enjoy their meal. At first they just perused their menus until they had both decided what to order. One they had given their orders to the waitress, they directed their gazes at each other. Draco reached across the table to take Hermione's hands in his, "Now, tell me about training."
"It really wasn't so bad I suppose, just tiring. We were doing practical training again so we all got knocked out a lot. But then towards the end, Michael made a stupid comment about you, and I couldn't take it. I don't know what happened, but it was like a part of me snapped. I stupefied him, and completely knocked him out cause he slammed into the wall, so then Kingsley had a talk with me, and …ugh." Hermione dropped her head in her hands out of frustration.
Draco chuckled, "sorry I missed it, it sounds like that would have been an entertaining sight."
Hermione huffed, "you wouldn't have missed it if you had decided to become an auror too," she muttered.
Draco's mood took a definite down turn after that, and a heavy silence filled the table. Luckily it did not last too long, because their lunch arrived and served to ease it discomfort a bit.
"Mmm, this is really good," Hermione commented between mouthfuls, "we should come here more often."
"Yeah we should," Draco nodded in agreement. Draco was about to take another bite of his meal when the uneasy sensation that he was being watched crept over him again. He looked around behind him, and out the window, but could not see anything out of the ordinary.
"Is something wrong?" questioned Hermione, noticing Draco's odd behavior.
"No, it's nothing," Draco said forcing himself to return his attention to his lunch. "I just had the feeling that someone was watching me. I felt it this morning when I went out too."
"Oh." Frowned Hermione, "that's strange."
"I know," Draco decided not to tell Hermione that usually his instincts about feeling watched were correct, nor did he tell her about the Dark Mark burning earlier. He did not want to add any more stress to her mind. "It's probably nothing; I haven't been out much lately. I guess I just need to get used to crowds again."
"Yeah, that sounds like a reasonable explanation," agreed Hermione. "So, where did you go today?"
"I apparated over to Bath, I bought some things for Narcissa and owled them over to he in France."
"That was considerate of you."
"Yeah well, stuff like that makes her happy, so since I had nothing better to do I thought why not."
Hermione rolled her eyes and shook her head with amusement.
They finished lunch rather quickly, Draco of course refusing to allow Hermione to pay for her meal, causing her to feel both flattered and frustrated. "Well," Hermione said once they were back outside, "since you refused to let me pay," Draco rolled his eyes "I get to treat us both to some ice cream."
Draco chuckled, "if you insist," he then allowed Hermione to lead him to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor where Hermione purchased them both delicious sundaes. "Happy now?" Draco asked after she had paid for them.
"Very," smiled Hermione. She enjoyed the fact that Draco liked to treat her to things, but she had an independent spirit and was fully capable of supporting herself as well. A fact which she did not want Draco to forget.
As they ate their dessert, Hermione and Draco chatted about the people who were passing by. Draco mostly made sarcastic and witty comments about the negative aspects of people's appearance, while Hermione disagreed with him and argued in favor of the people's positive qualities. It wasn't as if they were actually fighting, it was just the sort of fun debate that kept their active minds happy. And it was the perfect sort of entertainment for two stubborn individuals who happen to be in love and enjoy having meaningless arguments with one another.
Once they were finished, it was time for Hermione to return to the Ministry. "I don't think I'll be able to come over tonight," she kept her eyes down as she spoke.
Draco, who had been expecting her to say something like that, was still disappointed to hear it, though he was not at all surprised. "It's ok, but what about tomorrow afternoon?"
"I will see what happens with my mentor today, and I'll owl you tonight to let you know alright?"
"Alright," nodded Draco.
Hermione stood on her tiptoes to place a tender kiss on Draco's lips, "I love you."
"I love you too." Draco leaned down and the couple shared a deep long kiss, which drew attention from the passers by. Many of whom smiled at such a display of young love.
When the kiss broke Draco pulled Hermione closer to him and Hermione noticed the stares they were getting. She attempted to remove Draco's hands from her waist as she whispered, "Draco! People are staring at us!"
"What people?" Draco whispered as he leaned in to capture her in a kiss once more. Hermione too forgot about the other people in the street as Draco's kiss consumed her.
"I have to go," Hermione whispered reluctantly.
"I know," Draco answered, though he made no move to let her go.
"I'll owl you tonight," Hermione confirmed once more before disapparating out of Draco's arms.
With Hermione gone, Draco glanced around at the people who were still watching him, many sending him approving smiles. He let out an inward chuckle and followed Hermione's lead and disapparated back to his Manor.
- - - - - - - - - -
Hermione arrived in Kingsley's office promptly at 2 o'clock. She seated herself in a chair on the opposite side of the desk and awaited instruction.
"We'll begin in one second Hermione, I just need to finish this memo." Kingsley instructed as he continued to scratch a note on a small sheet of parchment. When he was finished, he wave his wand and the parchment folded itself into an airplane. Kingsley then wrote the recipients name on the side of the plane and sent it flying just below the ceiling.
"Well Hermione, originally I was planning on introducing you to the basics of the office duties of an auror, however I feel that more pressing matters need attending to first."
Hermione straightened up in her chair indicating that she was prepared for whatever Kingsley wanted her to do.
"After our discussion today, I began thinking about how to deal with it. I must admit that I am still rather concerned about you being in a relationship with Mr. Malfoy, however I am not in any position to judge or to tell you what to do."
Hermione tried to remain calm on the outside, but that did not suppress the frown on her face.
"I am concerned because long before you began dating Draco, his father made sure he was skilled in occlumency. One can only imagine that he is equally proficient in legilmency."
Hermione gasped as she realized where this was going, and she could not help but interrupt Kingsley. "Are you saying you think Draco would use magic to invade my mind?"
Kingsley sighed, he wanted to get through this with as little argument from Hermione as possible, but her trust in Draco was making it difficult. "all I'm saying is that I want to be sure. You've admitted yourself that he get suspicious easily, and if it came down to it, I do believe that he would use legilmency to see what was wrong." Hermione made a noise to interrupt, but Kingsley continued in a louder and more authoritative tone, "And if he were to use legilmency, I want you to be prepared to block your mind. We cannot risk Order secrets getting out to anyone, no matter how trustworthy you think they are."
Hermione crossed her arms and huffed, but chose not to respond.
"Think about it Hermione," Kingsley attempted a different approach, "won't your life be easier if you knew how to block your mind? You wouldn't have to worry about revealing any secret information, so you would be able to relax and enjoy your time more."
Hermione's stubborn mind considered this argument. In all honesty, it made a lot of sense, and she recalled how much she had pressed Harry to learn Occlumency when he had been taking lessons from Snape back in fifth year. Her guilty conscience told her that if she could not justify being against learning occlumency herself when she had been so insistent about Harry learning it. "Alright," she conceded after a moment. "I'll do it."
"Excellent," Kingsley smiled. "I believe it best for us to return to the practice room for this."
Hermione nodded and followed Kingsley out of the room. As they were walking, a question came to her mind. "Kingsley, when Snape was teaching Harry occlumency, Harry said that it only cause his resistance to be weaker, and it made his mind easier to penetrate, do you think that could happen to me?"
"Occlumency is all about willpower Hermione. Harry had no desire to close his mind in Snape's lessons, so he was never able to master it. You however, have a very strong will, and an even stronger mind. You have to want to learn it and you have to keep your mind to it."
"So once I master it, is it difficult to do each time?" asked Hermione.
"That is dependent on the individual. For example, since you are overall an open and honest person, it will take a lot of concentration and effort to keep your mind closed, so it will take a lot of practice. Even after you master it, it will take a lot of concentration to keep your mind closed. Draco however, is a secretive person, from what I have heard the only person he has even been open to is you. So for him occlumency is a natural thing. He hardly had to work at it at all. As a result, I would imagine that opening his mind takes as much effort for him as closing your mind will for you."
Hermione nodded, Kingsley's explanation made a lot of sense in Hermione's mind, "alright, I'm ready.
"Excellent," Kingsley took out his wand, "Now, I will attempt to enter into your mind, so you must do your best to clear your head. Do not focus on any thoughts, simply concentrate."
Hermione nodded, closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"You may defend yourself with whatever spell you feel is necessary, but concentrate most on closing your mind. Rest assured that whatever thoughts I do see, remain in this room between us alone."
Hermione nodded again, though the thought of Kingsley seeing her private thoughts suddenly disturbed her and made her nervous.
"Here we go. Legilmens!"
Hermione felt an off sensation overtake her. It was almost as if her mind was separated from her body. She could see a memory from her past as if it were replaying before her. She saw the day her Hogwarts letter arrived, and how excited she was. The next image was that of when Harry and Ron saved her from the Mountain Troll on Halloween of first year. And then after that she saw the first time she had ever been called a mudblood, by none other than Draco himself 'No one asked for your opinion, you filthy little mudblood!'
Hermione felt more than heard herself scream something, and in an instant the curse was finally lifted, and when she became aware of her surroundings, she found herself standing in the center of the room out of breath with her wand out in front of her. Apparently, she had shouted the disarming curse, for Kingsley was making his way across the room to retrieve his wand.
As Hermione stood catching her breath, the words from so long ago reverberated in her head, and she did not like it. Now the memory hurt more than it ever had, and it did not help that she though she had succeeded in removing that one from her conscience. Yet still, that memory did trigger in her a renewed determination to learn to close her mind. She did not want to relive bad experiences such as that any more than she wanted anyone else to witness them.
Kingsley repositioned himself a reasonable distance away from Hermione. "Are you ready to try again?" he asked with out making any comment as to the memories he had seen.
Hermione nodded and kept her lips pursed tight. She wasn't going to let him win this time.
"Legilmens!"
This time Hermione was more prepared, and the sensation of being hit by the curse was not a surprise, so she was ready for it. This time she managed to keep her concentration on blocking her mind. A part of her, which felt as if it was miles away, could feel that she was clenching her mouth together, and her fists her balled with the amount of effort she was expending. This time, instead of seeing defined memories, she merely saw blurs of color and the occasional face and or figure.
But the longer the curse lasted, the harder it was for her to fight it, and after a few moments, she could begin to see entire memories again. The memory of when Viktor asked her to the Yule Ball began to play itself, but before it became completely clear, Hermione felt herself shout "Protego!" and the curse was removed.
Hermione dropped her arm, closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath. Kingsley meanwhile was smiling. "Excellent Hermione! Really Excellent!"
"What?" she asked in disbelief. "But the first time I did terrible, and then that time you could still see stuff."
"Yes, but you improved. It took me much longer to see a clear image the second time, and you stopped the connection much faster that time as well. It will take much more practice until you are able to beat the curse entirely, but I have complete faith that you will succeed."
Hermione smiled for the first time that afternoon.
"I must warn you however," continued Kingsley, "It will be much harder to block your mind around Draco, because it is always hardest to close ourselves to those we care for most."
This pronouncement did not help Hermione's confidence, but she tried not to let it disappoint her.
"I believe that is enough to begin with for now. I do not want to wear you out too much. We will continue with these lessons every afternoon, and if today is any indication, you will be an expert occlumens in no time." Kingsley winked at her, and then led her back to his office.
I hope everyone feels that it was worth the wait. Just a little preview of what to look forward to next chapter, Hermione begins work on her task, odd things continue to happen to Draco, and the plot should begin to pick up a bit more.
As always, reviews are welcomed and appreciated, and I promise to get the next chapter out ASAP! Thanks for your patience and understanding!