Chapter 5: Decisions

Flying sparks and pieces of metal flew into the air as Zell melded down on a mechanical device taken from within the car's engine. Squall stared through foggy goggles at Zell putting forth most of the effort for both of them combined. Although grateful his friend could spare him a job, Squall wasn't able to focus in the shop; it was well passed noon in the day.

He knew where Rinoa wanted to meet with him, he knew exactly what she wanted from him, but he couldn't bring himself to go through with their divorce, much less facing her and then giving her away. He squeezed the wrench in his hands and gritted his teeth together, angrily reliving the moment she asked for the divorce. He hated that word. It was because his parents had split for sometime and gotten a divorce, but eventually they came together once again, after much counseling. Remembering the time between his parents' divorce, he recalled lonely days and uncontrollable emotions. At the angriest part of his life, he had met and fallen in love with Rinoa.

She was there for him when he needed her, she helped him through, and she was there when his parents forgave one another. Rinoa had always been there, first as a friend, and then as something more. Behind the goggles, his eyes grew sullen. Squall suddenly had a sour taste in his mouth. Rinoa witnessed the separation of his parents, so wouldn't she know just how much it would hurt him to even mention a divorce… Of course, all his thoughts led him to missing the appointment with Rinoa and purposely staying in the shop.

"Squall, man, you really need to get some sleep." Zell said, waking him from his thoughts. "I've been calling you for about five minutes now." He laughed, "Listen, there isn't much that needs working on, and I can probably handle it all by myself today. I know you've got a lot to do, you know, with your 'girls' so I'm going to let you go. Get out of here, okay?"

"…Zell, what are you talking about, I'm not going anywhere, and what do you mean my 'girls'?" Already feeling the bitterness from his previous thoughts, Squall quickly drew conclusions in his mind, "So you think I did stupider things after I left Rinoa, is that it?"

"Squall? Whoa, where's this coming from?"

"Forget about it! Whatever I say isn't worth a damn thing anyway!" Squall slammed the wrench onto the concrete floor and marched out of the shop. Zell had pulled back from his work and watched Squall rush out the garage.

"Squall, c'mon! It was a joke!" The young blonde removed his goggles and scratched his head curiously as the brunette disappeared out of sight. What's gotten into him? I was talking about Rinoa and Rori. That idiot…his attitude makes me wonder what he did through those four years. Squall…get yourself together, man.

"Okay, I've got a little box with cards inside. I'm going to show you how to play a game called Triple Triad. Alright?"

"Triple Triad?" Rori asked the spunky woman. "What's that?"

"You've never played it before?" She asked, receiving a shake from side to side by Rori's head. "Are you sure?" Rori shook her head fiercely. "Your mom never taught you how to play?" Rori held her lips together and shook her head again, and Selphie laughed while placing her hands at her hips, "Your mother should be ashamed of herself! Why, it's a very popular game!"

"Me and Seifa always play games, he might know what Triple Triad is."

"I wouldn't be surprised." Seifer, the young man Rinoa had been seeing recently and already Rori had a nickname for him, Selphie snickered. Selphie was proud of her friend for taking that brave step in rebuilding her life, but dating someone else while still married had shaken Selphie a bit. Rinoa seemed to be playing with morals and vows, something Selphie wasn't too impressed with. But given she were in Rinoa's shoes, she didn't know what she would ever do. In a way, she saluted Rinoa for making the choice to see someone else. "Well come on Rori, I'll get some water and we'll go on outside with the card game okay?"

"Outside?"

"Yeah, aren't you tired of staying in all day long? You must feel stuffy from being cooped up in this little house."

"Your house isn't little, it's fun!"

"Maybe it is fun, but I bet you'll feel better out there. Besides, it's breezy right now. What do you say?"

"…Okay!"

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A few minutes later, the two were outside at a table in Selphie's side yard. Selphie brought a jug of water outside which main purpose became to shield their game cards from the winds' breeziness. They hadn't minded the few cards that blew from the table by wind occasionally, and Selphie even got a laugh out of listening to Rori talk about a Thrustaevis' card flying in the air because it was a bird after all.

Soon after, Selphie realized Rori's excitement came from looking at the skillfully painted cards in the deck. She picked up one card at a time and flashed it to Selphie in amazement, "Look at this, it's a tiger!"

"It's called a Torama. It's pretty huh?"

"Yeah! Oh!" She showed Selphie a fish shaped creature and tried pronounce its name, "Fas…fasti…"

"Fastitocalon?"

"Fasti…licon.." She said unsurely, and Selphie nodded with a smile.

"You got it!" Selphie lied.

Rori giggled and removed the next card, "…Eww! This monster is ugly!"

"What card is ugly, let me see?" Selphie asked, taking the card from the girl's tiny hand. She was not surprised to find the beast with a large mouth and sharp teeth, with green tentacles for limbs that made up its entire body. Selphie chucked out, "Malboro." It was obviously the most hideous piece of art from the collection of cards, and she briefly remembered when her father gave it to her. He too had witnessed a sour reaction from Selphie as a young girl, and now Selphie witnessed Rori's.

"Isn't it ugly?"

"I'll have to agree with you, Rori. That thing definitely has to go." Selphie reached over the card to Rori again so she could put it back with the others. In doing so, Rori's elbow bumped against the jug of water set close to the edge and caused it to fall from the table.

"Oops, I'm sorry!" Rori said, leaving the cards and getting down from her chair to pick up the water container. She knelt to her knees on the ground, ignoring dirtying the edges of her green sundress due to her pursuit.

"No, no, Rori, don't worry about it. I'll get it. Have a seat okay? I'll be right back. I have to fill the container up again." Selphie said, taking the jug from Rori's hands and walking toward the side door. "Rori, why don't you sing a song while I'm inside okay?" She called from within the house.

"Okay!" Rori agreed cheerfully, unaware that such was the attempt to have Selphie keep up with her. Selphie would know if the little girl was still outside of the house or running inside to help her if she would sing the song. Because of her negligence, she didn't want the girl to feel completely alone. Rori had thought of the first song to come into mind, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

The little girl busied herself with the song and climbed back into her chair at the yard table, singing comfortably to herself. "Twinkle Twinkle little st-" Just then, a breeze passed through and knocked a few cards from the table; the Red Bat, Grat, and Carbuncle cards blew away. With the absence of the jug, the cards were now exposed to full blasts of the wind. "Oh no, the cards!" Rori ran after the tumbling cards in the side yard, watching them tumble toward the iron gates at the front of Selphie's house. Rori saw that two cards were stopped at the gate but one was carried over and flew into the road. Panicking, Rori turned toward the house hoping that Selphie had finished with the water container, but faintly heard the house phone ringing from within.

"No!" Rori whined in a tiny scream, watching helplessly as the card was blown into the road. She was helpless to stop the card and now, it was lost. Rori had begun to cry because she knew Selphie would be sad that her card was gone. She cried into her hands, grimacing about the lost of Selphie's card.

"Hey…don't cry. Is this what you're looking for?" The voice of a man caused Rori to stop her weeping and look up. She saw first that he held the Carbuncle card in his hand, and then she looked up to his face and smiled. Rori had stared into his blue eyes and moved her eyes to his smile. Taking in the fact that the stranger seemed friendly enough to trust, Rori nodded to him and took the card gently from his hand as he had stooped down to her level and slipped it through the gate's openings.

"Thank you, mister!" Rori said as she turned away from the blue-eyed brunette and ran back to the table to gather her cards.

"You're welcome..." He said to her, seeing the little girl pick up from where she left off, although his voice was almost a silent whisper.

Rori gathered the remaining cards together and had walked toward the side door, but was met by Selphie staring at the strange man she encountered. "Rori, who was that?"

"That man? …The wind blew the cards off the table and one of them went far away. He found it in the street and gave it back to me." Rori said as she walked inside.

Although Selphie was only able to see his back, the man's figure looked extremely familiar. Could he have been Squall, the person Rinoa feared Rori to see the most? Selphie gasped and covered her mouth, which immediately got the attention of Rori. "What's the matter, Sefie?"

"Oh…nothing Rori. Um…let me see those cards again." She quickly changed the subject. If it had been Squall, she had to tell Rinoa what happened. Pushing aside her panic attack, Selphie realized Rori might not have known that he was her father judging by her response. She called Squall, 'that man' so obviously he hadn't informed her of who he was. What kind of man is he? Why wouldn't he let Rori know who he is? …But…maybe he doesn't know who she is either…?

Selphie cleared her throat and looked at Rori with a smile, "Rori, even though that man was nice enough to hand you the card, remember what your mother's told you about talking with strangers. Okay?"

"Okay!"

I can't believe he stood me up! Rinoa complained as she arrived at her front door. She jammed the key into its lock and angrily turned the doorknob. He doesn't take anything seriously! Who was I kidding? He practically tossed our vows aside, so why did I even expect to see him today? She slammed the front door and dropped her purse on the wooden floor, sighing in disgust. He made me into a fool! He made me waste Quistis' time too! I can't stand him! Squall, I hate you! I hate you! Rinoa moved her hands over her forehead and leaned back onto the walls of her home, sliding down and resting her head back as tears streamed from her eyes. She cried out, "I hate you!"

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Squall waved at the hotel hostess and walked upstairs from the lovely decorated halls of Balamb Hotel to his room, the dark dungeon. Even upon entering, he was welcomed by a loom of gloominess luring over his soul, a feeling he had felt since Rinoa proposed the divorce. Never had he wanted to reach through the phone and do something drastic that would change her mind in an instant. Squall tugged at the goggles that rested around his neck and pulled them from over his head with a sigh.

He had left from work early on his first day because his late conversation with Rinoa haunted him terribly. His only intention was to get her passed his faults and maybe gain her forgiveness, but things had turned ugly within the first few seconds over the phone. As he had walked home, he took the longer way that meant walking through more of the back roads and houses that were built closer together, forming a miniature neighborhood that was peaceful and quiet. The walk was more enjoyable than he had ever imagined, and it helped to clear his mind of Rinoa if only for a little while, but one little moment nagged him since his arrival at the hotel. The little girl he had helped today, her chubby face and eyes fascinated him. Maybe he had seen the little girl before?

He was walking down the road and happened to see a piece of paper flying in the wind, suddenly the little girl's whimpering caught his attention. Squall quickly got the paper, which happened to be a playing card, and brought it over to the girl. Her crying was so severe that she hadn't noticed him approaching her. He stooped before her and smiled as he asked if it were hers. He was surprised when she looked up with apair of eyes that reflected his own…it was unreal. Maybe the sun had gotten into his eyes when she looked at him? Maybe what he saw wasn't real?

Squall shrugged his shoulders and stripped from the slacks of Zell's uniform, and walked into his bathroom. He had had a long day, the last thing he needed to was to have more to muse himself with.

Just as he was about to free himself from his troubles, the phone rang. "Dammit Rinoa!" He yelled, walking to the phone beside his bed. Squall moved his hand to answer it but yanked away quickly. "…No…" He allowed the phone to ring a few more times until the caller took the message that he wasn't home.

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Rinoa slammed the phone on its hook and groaned, "Coward! He can't even answer his phone to tell me why he wasn't there!" Her red and distressed eyes blurred even more at the thought of Squall fleeing in the night. What if he left after I told him about the divorce? Maybe that's why he's not at the hotel…what if he's already left…?

Rinoa picked up the phone once again and dialed for his room. She waited patiently as it rung over and over until finally, the phone had been picked up, but had hung up in her face. She groaned, "…Well at least I know he's there." She called again and after more than five rings, Squall answered, "…Rinoa, I know why you're calling, so don't start nagging me about not being there…"

"…Nagging? You don't have to worry about me nagging!" She yelled, "You told me you would be there, Squall, but you lied! And don't give me some crap about you being there earlier before me because we agreed to meet at noon! I was there for the whole afternoon Squall, so where were you?"

"I didn't tell you anything; in fact, I never agreed to meet you anywhere."

"Yes you did! Don't lie to me again! You agreed to meet me at Quistis' office!"

"As I remember, you asked me if I knew where Quistis' place was, and that was the only thing I said yes to! Maybe if you hadn't hung up, you might not have had to go all the way out to the East just to sit for hours and all for nothing! I would've told you I wasn't going to be there!"

Rinoa became silent. She rested her head in her hands when thinking back to their conversation. She had quickly terminated the lines before Squall had a chance to fight back with her divorce decision, hadn't she?

"Why aren't you saying anything now, huh? It's because you know I'm right, isn't it?"

"…That doesn't mean anything. You had a responsibility and you failed, again!"

"Don't talk to me about responsibility, Rinoa! I know I'm responsible for many things that lie between us now, but I'm willing to reason with you through this mess!"

"Well I'm not… because as far as I'm concerned, we're both finished!"

"No! I don't believe that one bit! If you can't talk to me in person like a responsible adult and stress why our marriage is over, then I will never sign those divorce papers!"

"Squall, you're so stubborn!"

"I'm only stubborn because I know what I want and I won't quit until I get it!" He yelled, sounding as if veins were popping up from his forehead.

Rinoa had silenced herself once again, and licked her lips. "…You think I'm not serious about this divorce?"

"I don't know, are you?"

"Don't give me that! I'll tell you exactly why I don't want you and why you mean nothing to me!" She yelled, feeling a sense of doubt within her own heart.

"…Nothing? …If I meant nothing to you, then why are you crying yourself to sleep at night over me? "

"…You don't know anything."

"But I can tell…I know you too well…I saw those bags under your eyes when I came over that night… Rinoa, please, we've been arguing since I came back. I just want to talk to you. Do you think I'm gloating around after all that's happened between us? No, I feel terrible. I feel horrible…and our arguing isn't helping me any. Just like you, I want closure, I want forgiveness and quite frankly this isn't helping…" He sighed, "I need to see you. I want to be close to you…I want to see your face when I talk to you; I can't speak to you over the phone anymore. After all these years Rinoa…I know you feel the same way."

After searching her mind for some resistance, Rinoa realized she could argue with Squall no more. On some level, the man was right. Finally, the hurting woman sighed and gave in to his words, "…I'll be at the docks in about twenty minutes and if you're not there by then, I'm going to leave. …How's that?"

"…Fair enough."

"I'll see you later."

"Yeah…later." They both placed their phones on the hook. Rinoa bit her bottom lip nervously while Squall smirked because Rinoa had fallen right into his trap.

At the docks, Rinoa held her windbreaker around herself trying to fight back against the nippiness of the cold air. In the late evening, the salty breezes turned into freezing winds that changed the warm relaxing sunset into a frigid sight where people bit at the bitter cold, completely ignoring the orange and pink skies, and saw blue only.

Rinoa shuttered as she stared at the red seas, and sighed to herself, "This will never work… What am I doing here?"

"…Waiting for me, I thought." A voice called to her from behind. She turned around and faced Squall, and he smiled, digging his hands into his coat pockets. She ignored his smile and faced the sea once again. Squall had shaken off her coldness and stood beside her, looking out into sea as well. They were silent for a few moments before Squall laughed softly, "…I remember when we first saw this sunset…a long time ago…"

Rinoa's eyes had watered almost instantly. …It was so beautiful. We were young and happy…and newlyweds. Those were the best days of my entire life. Nothing spectacular happened that day, it was just Squall and I…staring at the sun until it set that night. Nothing spectacular really, but it was so special, so real. Just the two of us… …Why is he doing this to me?

"Squall, what exactly do you want to talk about?"

He sighed, "…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up…" He cleared his throat and faced her, staring at the side of her face and admiring how brilliantly the sunlight shimmered on her skin. "Rinoa, I…I'm going to be honest with you. I don't want a divorce from you, which is obvious I know, but…I feel like you're using the divorce as an excuse; Using it as some type of shelter from me… I don't think you're really sure you want it anyway because you don't sound sure enough to me."

Rinoa's face quickly turned to his, glaring at him, "How would you know if I'm sure or not? I've changed over those four years Squall. I was childish and uncertain when we got married, but I've matured since you've been gone."

"I'm having trouble believing that…"

She had folded her arms and cocked an eyebrow, eying him suspiciously, "And you really sound mature, yourself."

He squinted his eyes, "Whatever, but at least I can come out and say what's on my mind. I'm not just screaming at people without a real reason."

"I don't have to explain anything to you, Squall. Why can't you get that through your head!"

He roughly grabbed her shoulders and stared into her eyes, "Well just tell me why you want this divorce!"

Rinoa's heart was pounding as she looked into his azure eyes. The masculinity of his face fascinated her; in four years he could look older yet at once, he could look the same as he had years ago, so young, so admirable, and so attractive. The bangs over his eyes had grown, and the hair that he would keep so neatly trimmed now hang loosely off his neck. Those cold blue eyes stared into hers, oddly seeming to burn everything in her body, seeing through her heart and soul. Her insides had been yearning for his touch since he neared her being, but now that he had his grip on her, she didn't know how to react, "…Squall…"

"Well? What reason can you give me?" He asked, easing his grip on her forearms, but still begging for an answer. Rinoa hesitated to speak, not wanting to strike another argument. Somehow, she admitted to having undying feelings for Squall but her conscious contradicted otherwise.

"…You ruined my life." Rinoa murmured while closing her eyes, not wanting to witness his reaction to her devastating words. Squall immediately released her tensed shoulders.

Rinoa's heart had been aching to let him know, but at the same time, she wanted to tell him how terribly he was missed. Confused at her own mixed feelings, the young woman gave into the sorrow presently in her heart and began to sob before Squall.

Squall was not at all shocked; he had expected to see her cry yet again by his hands, but instead of standing and doing nothing, he placed his hands on her shoulders once more, much more gentle than before.

Feeling guiltier than ever, he pulled her against his body and gave her all the comfort she deserved and so greatly needed at the moment. Rinoa had naturally moved her arms up and around his waist, holding him tightly and crying into his chest. Trying to soothe his wife's mind, Squall smoothed his hand onto the back of her head and stroked her darkened hair. A risky move on his behalf, he understood, but he would do anything to keep her from crying another second, crying for the rest of her life.

"Squall, don't… You can't just show up like everything's fine when nothing is!"

He whispered, "For everything I put you through…I'm paying for it, believe me. And it took four long years for me to realize that there's no way I can live without you."

Rinoa cried harder into Squall's chest, digging her nails into his back, but she pulled herself away from his embrace and wiped her face. "…I had just begun to put all this behind me…why…why would you come back now?"

"…Does that mean I still have a chance?"

"…Squall…just… just give me some time. Please. I…I have to go."

He nodded and stepped back from her, "I understand. Well…"

"Goodnight." She said and started her way back into town. If she had stayed any longer, she might have told him about Rori; Rinoa cursed herself for not making the move despite her own fears…

He watched her leave, studying her body as she walked away and out of sight. Squall sighed to himself as the love of his life left him in the midst of the cold air with only the factor of hope to warm his heart.

Author's Corner

Okay, Okay, I decided not to keep you waiting long, silver-nex, lol, thanks for the review. I feel that with this chapter, things will begin to go somewhere. Yay!

Hmm, I've suddenly gotten inspiration and the wheels in my mind have been turning! I have fully decided to follow through with this story and finish it really soon or...you know, as much as I can! (If I stop, I might lose my steam, lol)

Thanks again, silver-nex! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter as well.

Alright, Alright, and to everyone else that reads too, Thanks! (Tell me what you guys think, talk to me:P) The next chapter, I'm working on, so don't worry! It'll come around.

StardustRay