Disclaimer: I do not own The Office, the characters, main plot lines, or trademark sayings. I am in no way affiliated with the show, or NBC. I never even knew Scranton existed.
Author's Note: Saw something on the net, had an idea for a fic, going to see where it goes. I'm huge Ryan/Kelly fan, but this could end up being Kelly/Roy. Note sure.
Step 1: 'Come Clean'
"This is never going to work." Kelly Kapoor complained standing in the elevator next to one Roy Anderson. "For one, you aren't even supposed to be on the premises. Michael will probably call security as soon as he sees you. If not him than Pam."
Roy was more confident than that. In fact, it was his first plan in a long time that he actually thought was going to work. Planning just wasn't for him. It required too much thinking. Thinking was a waste of time. Decisions were meant to be made on impulse.
"Oh it'll work, for both of us, I promise." He assured a jittery Kelly. She was always jittery, and chatty. He was awesome at zoning her out though. He barely caught a word she said most times "And besides, I just walked by security, no problem."
Blah, blah, blah, lip gloss, blah, blah, Johnny Depp, blah, blah, scented nail polish.
As long as he caught a few keywords every few seconds, she thought he cared, and he wasn't required to listen. It was an art that took years to fine tune. If it were a sport, he would be a pro.
Years of being in a stable relationship had helped though. Pam yapped a lot too. Granted, it was about things far more important than shoes, puppies, and pop culture. Still, female gab was to be avoided at all costs. Relationships had nothing to do with talking. Not really.
He couldn't knock talking all together, his decision to talk to Kelly at Poor Richard's this past weekend had given way to one of the best missions of all time. Operation Shock'in Ya'll, he liked to call it. (An appropriate title, and well deserved homage to an awesome Toby Keith album)
It was something that had dawned on him all of a sudden. He hadn't even known that Kelly was Kelly when he had sauntered over to her the night before (at his brother's urging) and offered to buy her a drink. He had thought she was just some hot exotic looking chick sitting shyly by her self.
At first, it had seemed a huge mistake. She obviously needed someone to vent to. So for over an hour, he sat and listened to everything bad there was to say about Ryan Bailey Howard. He didn't even know his own brother's middle name, but now he knew everything there was to know about the former temp/junior sales representative turned corporate manager of Dunder-Mifflin. The only thing he'd ever noticed about 'The Short Guy' (the name he'd given him beforehand for lack of better knowledge) was how he looked like the guy from Scrubs. Man, that was a funny show.
Buzzed by a beer or two, Roy had let his own woe over losing Pam flush out to, and Kelly had 'aww'd' in all the right places, to the point where Roy was just to about to ask her back to his place for some nice 'to hell with them' quality time, when he got a better idea.
"Let's work together…let's get them back" He'd said finally, after Kelly had sighed one last lovelorn thought on Ryan.
"How do we get them back?" Kelly asks sniffling.
Having what he thinks is the first good idea he's had in a long time, Roy smiles and leans over toward her "Like this." He breathes, before kissing her…hard
Kelly pushed him away, but not to quickly. Kisses were easy to get caught up in, and Roy was not bad at it by any stretch of the imagination.
"Slow down. I don't see how you slobbering all over me will help either of us. " She complains, feigning a little disgust. One rule of girl world, you never let a guy know he is a phenomenal kisser. He will never let you forget it.
"Oh, but you will" He smiled. "I know my Pammy. She's just a little restless. Halpert is there, and he's something different. She sort of needs one last hurrah before settling down. I can't blame her, I've not always been the best boyfriend-"
"You can say that again, I heard about your first date with Pam. The hockey game-"
"Ok. I was there." Roy says rolling his yes. "I'm not interested in a stroll down memory lane her, I'm talking about our future. Yours with Ryan, and mine with Pam."
"Okay…what were getting at." Kelly complies, sheerly out having nowhere better to go.
"Anyway, I think that once she sees I'm not always going to be here, that I've found someone new, i.e. you, she's going to get worried that we'll lose all we worked for, and she'll run back to me so fast that Halpert won't even be able blink."
"Oh great. Then I'll look like the slut that stole a pretty good friend's ex, and I'll be stuck with no one...and that's if it works."
"Hey, I said this was going to work for us both and it will. Don't you think a little jealousy factor could be all this thing with the Short Guy needs to refuel?"
"Ryan" Kelly corrected thinking. "I guess it could work…I mean, he was totally in to me, I know he was. Maybe this would make him see what he's missing."
"Exactly. With each other, we'll illustrate our best selves, show those two we've changed, make them sorry they cast us aside" Roy finished.
Both he and Kelly looked hopeful.
"Partners?" She smiled widely, and held her fruity cocktail up.
"You know it!" He beamed back and clanked his large beer stein with her glass.
The cocktail cracked, and ruined Kelly's new dress.
Nervous about the situation, no matter how optimistically Roy put it, Kelly dread the elevator opening. For one, Pam is going to think she is a total hoebag. Pam may have broke up with Roy, but the rule about friends and exes was unspoken. Pam and Roy had history, and Pam would totally take offense to this. She would claw Pam's eyes out if she ever went after Ryan.
Then there was Jim. Roy had practically laid the smack down on him right here in this office. He would also think she was a bad person. They're two lost friends already. Not to mention the fact that everybody else in the office would have an opinion about it.
The doors began to slide open, and she took a deep breath before Roy grabbed her hand in his just in time to be in full view. Here goes nothing.
The two strutted the few feet into the office area warily. Pam looked up from her desk, and noticed Roy but not the intertwined fingers.
"Michael! Security now!"
Dwight had already belayed himself over his desk. He was without pepper spray this time. Damn Toby for taking all his much needed weaponry. This would just have to be 'old fashioned' style then. Time to show off the skills of a true purple belt.
"Good job Kelly, but you can unrestrain him now, I will protect the office."
"Dwight…." She began
"Unhand him woman! Don't be a hero, leave it to those of us who know how it's done."
"Everybody calm down, I'm not here to cause trouble" Roy insisted.
Jim laughed disbelievingly, and Pam, noticing since Dwight's comment that Roy and Kelly were hand in hand, looked awestruck. Michael's office door was locked. He was locked in place watching through the window, not having bothered to dial corporate like Pam had yelled.
"Why are you here?" Pam finally asked.
"I came to walk Kelly up. This county's had a lot of muggings lately, and I'd rather be safe than sorry, you know."
"Wait a minute, you and Kelly aren't…" Jim began.
"Yes. Yes we are" Kelly answered confidently. If Roy could play this part good, than so could she.
She'd played Juliet in her high school play. She might have fought for the part just because Casey Ingle was a shoe in for Romeo, and was totally dreamy, but she dram teacher thought she had real potential. He was also her Uncle, but that just made the compliment more real, right?
"You…and Roy?" Pam asked, raising a slow brow. "When did that happen?"
"About a week ago." Kelly offered "He's been calling me for a while, and we went out for the first time last weekend. I was afraid to let anyone know, for obvious reasons. But, I figured, you can't just let sleeping cats play."
"Sleeping dogs lie" Jim corrected, looking just as frazzled as Pam.
"Anyway, I have to get to the quarry, my shift's about to start. I'll see you after work?" Roy asked
"Mhmm. Movies at my place. 7ish." She confirmed.
Tentatively, Roy kissed her on the cheek, and made his way down stairs.
The entire office was silent. Kelly tried to force a smile.
"I'm glad it's finally out in the open. You know, according to a great song I know, it's best to come clean" Kelly said, hoping Hilary's inspiring words would help her out.
Silence still reigned. Until Pam's phone rang. She picked it up without looking, and held it to her ear.
"Pam…is it safe to come out now? Is he really gone?" Michael asked skittishly.