Disclaimer: It sucks…I have never felt so bad. Good thing I don't own Final Fantasy 8!

Chapter 11: Shameless

Who does that guy think he is? Barging into my face and ordering me to go back to Rinoa, I should've knocked his lights out…but then, he had a point, didn't he?

…What am I waiting for?

Squall was back in his hotel room ripping through his suitcases like a maniac in need of satisfying his greatest desires. Throwing articles of clothing to and fro until the object of interest was in his grasp, but nothing came of his search.

He was in pursuit of something buried deep within his luggage since the day he had decided to return to Balamb: letters he wrote to Rinoa over the course of fours years he spent away from her. During his little joy period, he had become guiltier than ever and had wanted to contact her in someway; however, he could never dare to use a telephone…he was a coward at heart.

With fault plaguing his heart, he decided to write Rinoa a letter one day, confirming that he was still alive and unharmed somewhere in the world. Because his guilt was so intoxicating, the letter became the closest thing to an apology that he ever arrived at. He had initially hoped she could read it and not have to worry about him, but the objective shifted greatly as Squall found himself spilling his deepest thoughts onto paper, his very soul etched into words from his heart. At that moment, he decided never to send the letter to her, for it was more personal than he originally intended it to be, his personal confession serving as a way to release all the tension he had stored inside during their marriage.

Often times he found himself wondering why he hadn't worded his feelings onto paper during his time at home; therefore, his running away would prove to be futile. Even so, the regrets grew stronger, and he eventually pushed aside all his convicting thoughts to lead a life outside of his marriage, outside of his shell, and outside of his crumbling mind.

Suddenly, his frantic search came to a halt as one crucial piece of evidence stood out in his mind.

I burned them… The brunet thought to himself, stroking the frame of his chin with a trembling hand. A shaky laugh followed as he moved that same hand into the loose strands of hair that slithered between each of his fingers. I felt like an idiot for writing those things about her, so I burned them. I didn't want the truth…I wanted to forget about everything. Once I made up my mind to return, I didn't want my past to haunt me. But Rinoa…she'll have to know about it sometime. She must know. If I have to be there for her from now on, then I want her to know what it is that I did, and what I've become…

If it is at all possible, I would want her to move on and regret nothing… I want her to be…

Squall paced toward his bathroom, punching its door open with a rough fist as he made his way to the clear mirror, staring at the man lurking within. With the realization of his new life, he did not recognize himself in the mirror; there was no way he could. The man that Rinoa knew and loved was lost, and now…there remained a piece of who he was, that and the unclean nature of his mind. Disgusted by the filth displayed before his eyes, he turned away from the mirror with a heavy sigh.

…I want her to be happy.

Squall was standing there in the room wearing shoes that seemed to weigh a ton on both of his feet, his body aching immensely, and sore from carrying the awful baggage of his sins and regrets over the years. Somehow, the thought of Rinoa being happy for the rest of her life had melted all that pain away. He was glad…glad that seeing Rinoa happy would mean he too could be entitled to peace. He could care less of what might happen to him so long as Rinoa was living the life she truly deserved, a life free of the agony of having that intimate feeling of comfort taken away so suddenly.

In the brink of his realization, Squall had an epiphany about the very core of his greatest fault. What he had fallen victim to for most of his life was exactly what he unconsciously forced onto Rinoa: loneliness.

During the years of my parent's separation and divorce, I was at the worst state in all of my life. Because my mom and dad were tied up in their own disputes, they hardly ever noticed I was there. As the weeks passed by, I had purposely spaced myself away from them since they only cared for me whenever the custody battle was mentioned. Eventually, they found some common ground but still decided to part from one another for a little while, which meant that I would have to travel from Deling City to Timber just to spend quality time with both of them throughout their entire separation.

As a sophomore in Deling City, I saw Rinoa, Rinoa Caraway, at school for the first time in my life, but I hadn't actually met her until some weeks later. I remember I wasn't very social with any of the kids my age. I thought they were all immature, but I'll say this: I merely envied them because they were ordinary and carefree, and hadn't shared my unfortunate issues. Rinoa happened to be in a few of my classes, the most ecstatic of the bunch, and I especially disliked her because she was able to smile every single day… through thick and thin. I guess I envied her, wondering how she managed to keep living life as though nothing bothered her. She was always happy in class, but I felt something deeper from her…and no one else seemed to notice the pain she guarded so well. They say when a person is always giddy, something is usually bothering them within…

Well, it was when Rinoa had mysteriously missed a day of school that I learned of her struggles behind the closed doors of the Caraways, my confirmation. The kids of our class began to gossip about her life outside of school, saying that she was never allowed to make any of her own choices about her future and that she was under strict punishment that day. I don't know why, but I found myself pitying her at that moment. There she was with both parents, and still having difficulties in life. I guess life's never really perfect after all.

Every now and then, she would try to get my attention by including me into the group in some of our classes, so I decided to respond to her comments just to make her day complete. Though I hadn't realized that by submitting to her enthusiastic façade, she would eventually capture my true interests and shape my world all the more. After some time passed, I confessed that I knew about the treatment she received at home, and then she admitted to knowing more about me than she was willing to tell also. From then on, we were able to share our pain, along with a few laughs, and had become close friends; I even got the pleasure of meeting Rinoa Heartilly.

Rinoa was such a bad influence on me and I think it's because I always strived to do well in all of my classes. Some days she forced me to skip those classes just to visit almost every place in town, but then I soon learned that skipping school was how she could escape the pressures at home. We made sure to return to the campus by the end of the school day because her parents had always picked her up directly at the school's front. Mr. and Mrs. Caraway prohibited her from taking the bus home; she wasn't even able to walk around the city with any male or anyone for that matter. This occurred until we became seniors in high school; they seemed to lighten her restrictions as we got older. Our senior year was a very special year; it was when I discovered I had feelings for her, for Rinoa.

Suddenly, when thinking of my future, I realized I could do nothing on my own. I needed her there with me. I needed Rinoa there in order to decide what would happen next in my life. Since we could talk to one another about almost anything, I learned that Rinoa also had trouble deciding what she wanted to do with her life. At that moment, I took a leap of faith and confessed my feelings for her, feelings that she surprisingly returned for me. I never felt more complete or sure of myself than as I had in those days with Rinoa. I miss those days…

…The second I allowed others to share their opinions about our relationship, I began to develop a sense of bitterness about my life. My biggest fault…my weakness, and my sin was believing whatever they said to me and becoming the insignificant person that Rinoa didn't need or deserve. Being told I wasn't good enough for her, or that I didn't know what love was…those things are what forced me to abandon her back then… When she stopped smiling the way she used to, I felt like my time was up, Rinoa would leave me just as everyone else had some point in their lives…My father for one… Suddenly…I felt that my smile was lost as well…

Drawn back from the forces down memory lane, his sharp eyebrows slanted when his forehead curled with anger, remembering the agonizing words his father spat to him on that day, their day. He hated it, and he hated that man even more.

Squall then sighed in relief as he faced himself in the mirror once again. He had remembered to breathe, and that the past was in the past. In that moment, he recalled all that had happened to him during those four years, and for the first time in his life, he didn't feel ashamed. Why did he need to? All the rough tides of waves from his past only made him into a stronger person today; he had the right to be proud of where he came from, and what he went through.

All I have to offer Rinoa is the truth. The only way I can make a significant impact on Rori's life is if I'm able to be myself…without the burden of the past or ever having Rinoa to think that I'm keeping something away from her as she had to do with me. She didn't want to harm me…and nor do I want to inflict more sadness on her. I only want her to be happy…no, I want them to be happy.

Rori…my little girl…I can't believe I'm a father…

-- -- -- --

Near the bus stop that would get him to downtown Balamb, Squall saw there was a Gift Shop that sold just about everything he could ever want from the local grocery store, though he wasn't much of shopper unless he was the only person to shop for. There were times when Rinoa sent him out to the store, even in the midst of a storm, with a multitude of items on their grocery list. He remembered grunting and swearing underneath his breath about how cruel the woman could be, but Rinoa would always get his better side by baking a sweet dessert that made him forget about all of her wrongdoings. He laughed to himself, pushing the palm of his hand over his lips and faking a cough so the storeowner wouldn't get the idea that he was humoring himself.

Somehow, Squall felt drawn to the open Gift shop. With a layout no better than a newspaper stand, he wondered just why he felt compelled to try it at all. He proceeded to skim the products that were on display at its front.

"See anything you need?" The storeowner asked him briskly; maybe he had been standing there longer than he needed to.

Squall lowered his hand from his mouth, his eyes catching hers before dropping down to the racks of magazines and items stacked neatly together, behind row after row of other paperbacks and junk foods. He forced a smile, not one to enjoy remarks from impatient clerks in a store, a place that centered on decision-making; he decided to make it snappy. Finally, his eye caught an item of interest, the something that had probably called him over to do business in the first place, and he cleared his throat, stooping down to grab the item from its place on the shelf; "…I'll take this."

"Alright, that's exactly fifty gil." She said, holding out her hand for the money, and Squall paid, glad to escape the rude woman's shop. He wondered if buying anything from her place was worth it at all. Eventually, the brunet shook away the unsettling thoughts and paced toward the bus stop. Hopefully, he would catch the bus with Downtown Balamb as its next destination, taking him away from the woman before her eyes began to set fire to his clothing.

It's well passed noon…I wonder what everyone else is doing? …Squall. I wonder what made him leave so quickly…I mean, I know everything happened so fast for the both of us, but he didn't have to just leave like that.

What if he's gone forever? On a train or bus bound for Timber…far away from us. I wouldn't be surprised if he's heading somewhere, anywhere but here.

Seifer, was it wrong of me to say those things to you? Did you even deserve to know so much? I hadn't meant to say anything that would hurt you, don't you know? Why can't you understand me anymore? You were the sweetest guy…and I…

No…I had to tell him how I truly felt, otherwise, I would've just hurt him somewhere down the road. Better that he's released to live his own life, and not bind by the stressfulness of my entire universe. But if Squall has decided to leave me for good…then what will I do from now on? I know I can manage, I mean…Rori and I, we've made it this far…four years. Four long years…

Squall…

"Momma, you can use my bed if you like. You look so sleepy!" Rori loudly whispered to her mother who had been yawning into the palm of her hand.

Shaking her head from side to side, Rinoa answered, "I'm fine, honey. Don't worry about me. You just have to get better so tonight can be the last time mommy has to sleep in that chair." Rinoa said, pushing aside her sleepiness for the sake of pleasing her daughter's concerned heart. She forced a smile and found that another yawn awaited her again.

Rori laughed aloud, rolling onto her back and kicking her feet into the air with a finishing squeal, "You need to sleep in my bed!"

The young woman straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath, "Rori, it's okay… I'm not as tired as I look."

"…There's a mirror in the bathroom if you want to see—"

"Rori!" Rinoa couldn't help but laugh. She had reached over the bed and dug her fingers into Rori's sides, tickling the girl intensely, and they filled the entire room with laughter once more.

Rori, unable to contain her cackling, screamed aloud, "I'm Sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be mean! I Quit! Mommy!"

Rinoa had immediately stopped, smiling down at the girl's soft face. She placed a kiss on Rori's cheek and climbed in the tall hospital bed beside her. "…It's alright." She said, smoothing Rori's hair out with a comforting hand, "…You were absolutely right, Rori. I think a little nap in this huge marshmallow puff will do us both just fine, and it may even cure me of the sleepy blues."

Rori snuggled close to her mother's warmth, her back to the door. By the second, she felt her eyes becoming heavier and eventually fell into a light slumber, as had Rinoa.

---- --- ---

A short while later, Rinoa heard the door to their room opening with a creak that caused her eyes to peel open. Upon opening them, she saw the vivid image of a very familiar frame of a person shifting from side to side, as he first peaked inside and then pulled his entire body through. Squall…! Her mind and heart cried in unison. She watched as he steadied himself beside the doorframe with a faint smile across his lips, his brown hair danced over his eyes and sent the looser strands on a slight rattle as he muffled a silent chuckle into the still air. Along with the quiet laughter, his smile had widened almost brighter than usual, happier... as if he were entertained by God's good humor, and she was glad. She saw his shoulders easing as he planted his back into the pasty wall behind him, leaning against it for extra comfort; maybe he's having a difficult time waking us up, she added in her mind.

Rinoa had not made an attempt to move from the bed; instead, she lied there with her arms around Rori, silently taken in Squall's presence. She noticed his clothes had changed. He stood, with folded arms, in black pants and t-shirt, pressing the bottom of his right boot into the wall as he studied their figures across the hospital bed. Rinoa could feel a wave of comfort looming over her being, and she closed her eyes. Maybe it was because Squall was there, and she felt safe with him in the same room.

She snuggled her head onto the soft pillow and pulled the covers over Rori's shoulder, the girl's head also on that very pillow, unbothered by Rinoa's shifting. Peering between the cracks of her eyes, the last thing she saw was Squall's face, young and pure even…just as Rori's. Rinoa had then fallen asleep once more, as Rori's observation had been correct all along, she was too tired to do anything else.

The next time Rinoa woke up, she heard Squall's voice coming from behind her. "This one is Siren." He said quietly, he had obviously been keeping his voice down to avoid ruining her lovely nap. "She's a maiden at sea with a singing voice as beautiful as a dove."

"She's so pretty!" Rori's voice bellowed after Squall's, and Rinoa was surprised to find that the girl was no longer beside her in the bed, "Her hair looks like wings! …But why does she look so mad?"

"Yeah," His voice returned, now sounding as though he were seated near the window in the large chair that Rinoa had greatly despised. Rinoa opened her eyes, but was sure not to make any sudden movements that would give away the fact that she was now awake. "…Siren, she used her voice to sing aloud so that the voyagers of the seas could hear her song, only, she surrounded herself with huge rocks and boulders, so it was impossible to actually sail through and see her."

"Then how could the people get to her? Why didn't she go some place where they could all hear her music and not have to go through those rocks?" Rori asked, her little voice twisting with each question.

"Because she didn't like people very much…and the rocks acted like some barrier to keep the outsiders away."

"Barrier?"

"It's a shield…something you would hide behind when danger is coming?"

"Oh! Like my bed! Whenever mommy comes after me to tickle me, I always hide behind the bed! She never finds me there!" She said with a giggle, and Rinoa could hear Squall laughing with her.

A smile formed on her own lips as she listened to them continue, "Well yeah, like your bed…but let's see, Siren would lure them in with her songs so that their ships could crash into them and sink to the bottom of the ocean."

"She was mean!"

Squall confirmed, "That's right, her ugliness was her meanness. …One day, a man was onboard a vessel sailing the seas where she lived, and he heard her beautiful songs along with many others. Naturally, he was drawn in by her voice and decided to find out for himself who had been singing the songs; however, the closer he got to her voice, the more he noticed the crashed and broken ships from the other crews in the pathway. Even larger ships, greater on the scale of their own, were caught up with the rocks and boulders, and it was then that he realized they were heading into the danger zone. The man warned the other crewmembers, telling them to cover their ears and keep their eyes peeled for any dangerous rocks that could most likely do serious damage to their vessel."

"And then what happened?" Rori's voice broke through his words.

"Well, the man jumped off of the ship and swam to the highlands where the maiden had hidden herself."

"What? But she's so mean!"

"Yeah, but he didn't let that stop him…So the man braved her songs and finally found Siren sitting on the highest rock, just as she's seen here on the card. When she realized someone had broken through her barrier, she became furious and prepared to summon her sea waves to wash the intruder away. Little did she know the man was actually a mage, a person skilled in magic, and before she could destroy him, he had quickly cast a spell of silence to her vocal cords. Siren's songs stopped immediately. The man escaped and went back to his fellow crewmembers, and they continued their journey away. Siren remained there in her barrier of rocks, disgraced that she could no longer sing her mystifying songs. In time, she replaced her voice with a harp that equally brought satisfaction to her ears, but to those who heard this music and dared to approached, she branded the same miserable fate in which she endured, and they became mutes."

"…So they couldn't speak either?"

"Nope, they were as dumb as a donkey."

"Wow…" Rori whispered, and then she laughed out loud, "Donkey!" She copied him, her voice bellowing throughout the room, "Do another one, Squall!"

"Gee…which one do you want to hear?" She called him Squall…so he still hasn't told her…

"That one! …No, that one! Remember him?"

"Yeah, I do… It's Carbuncle." Is he that afraid to tell Rori who he really is?

"But promise me you won't say anything bad about him!" Rori demanded, and Squall chuckled coolly as he responded, "I promise."

Rinoa shifted in her sleep by accident, causing their heads to look up from the stack of cards in their hold. Rori, sitting in Squall's lap at first, had leapt off and run around to meet Rinoa's eyes. "I knew it!" She yelled, pointing at Rinoa repeatedly, "She's awake!"

"Rori! Shh…keep it down; you might disturb your neighbors!" Rinoa said, trying to bring the attention away from her deceitfulness.

"Oh…I'm sorry." Rori said, turning the excitement down a notch. She placed her hands over her mouth and tiptoed over and around the bed to peer at Squall, who sat with a grin that had then caused her little throat to erupt with wild laughter. Rinoa had also found humor in her own expression, and joined the little girl's rampant laughing.

Eventually, everyone settled down and then Rori excused herself to use the restroom extension in the little hospital room. Silence filled the atmosphere with Rori's absence, and both Squall and Rinoa were clueless as to how to break this silence, as it was a cross between peacefulness and tension…

He sighed, rubbing his palms together and standing from the chair, "…How are you feeling?" He asked, lowering his hands to his sides when Rinoa faced him slowly, as if she were afraid to speak to him again. He stared at her quizzically, wondering if she were angry with him for being away for so long.

"Don't look at me like that." She said, turning her eyes away from his.

"…I borrowed a car to get here last night, and I had to bring it back to the shop this morning." It seemed like an excuse, but it was true after all.

"...How did you get here this time?"

"…Caught the bus."

"Oh…" She mouthed, bringing her eyes to the cotton comforters fluffed across the bed. She could remember his conversation with Rori before he left that night…and the way he had left…she knew he wasn't thinking about the car.

With her silence, he knew her mind had been wandering aloft, and he finally confessed, "…I…just needed some time to think, some time to myself."

"…And did you reach a conclusion?" She asked, facing him once again with eyes of steel.

He felt himself fidgeting, his hand reaching up for his hip and the other to his hair. The moment he had been waiting for was his for the taking; it was what he had practiced repeatedly as he rode the bus into town. Somehow, he found himself speechless, his throat had caved in; Damn you Siren! He cursed the maiden and himself, she had secretly cast her evils to his own voice, and he was foolish enough to fall for them.

Now Rinoa, sitting on the bed awaiting his answer, had begun to realize how the situation affected Rori. Although he left her answerless that night, she was laughing with him just a little ago as if nothing had happened all along. The child was forgiving, and hadn't cared that her question went unanswered, so despite all the fuss about his disappearance, Rinoa smiled, "…It's okay. I know it's hard…but can you at least let me know what's on your mind next time?"

Squall heaved a sigh in relief, his soul at ease with her response, "…Well I'm here now, aren't I?" A smile illuminated his face, "…I came back to see Rori again…and to," His eyes sunk to the floor of the room, "…I really have a lot I want to talk to you about Rinoa. I just…"

Rinoa placed her feet on the cold, pearly floor, and sauntered toward Squall, stopping underneath his eyes. She stooped down, her face upturned to catch his eyes, and he brought them from the floor and into her brown orbs. She whispered, "…Once Rori goes to sleep tonight, we'll have all the time to talk. You are staying this time?" Rinoa inquired, her voice hinting that she had been awake to witness the scene from before…

Squall swallowed a large lump in his throat, and stood upright. Almost holding his breath, he spat, "Whatever…," His hand gestured a careless wave in the air.

Rinoa smiled again, and when hearing the flush of a toilet and the water running from the sink, retracted her eyes to restroom's door. Rori emerged, shaking her hands in the air, "Rori, wipe your hands on the napkins in the bathroom, don't shake them around like that!"

"…Sorry." The girl said, and immediately walked back into the bathroom to follow her mother's wishes.

When Rinoa faced Squall once more, she saw his eyes had squinted a little, and she shrugged her shoulders, "It wasn't mean, she just has a habit of wiping her hands on anything that isn't a napkin or a towel, which could've been you had I not stopped her."

He laughed and shook his head, turning away from the mad woman.

---- ---

Once nightfall arrived, and Rori had finally used up all of her energy, only Rinoa and Squall sat awake in the room. She sat with her legs up and against her chest in the large chair, as he occupied a seat on its arm, leaning forward with his arms resting on his thighs and clasping his palms together. He had stared into the floor for some time as Rinoa stared at Rori's sleeping figure on the bed.

"I'm so sorry about everything…really." He whispered, his eyes piercing the floor. "…I never realized how much I needed you until I left… I was so lost without you."

Rinoa swallowed her breath. She then prepared her voice so it could be as soft as his had been in the air, "…Why did you leave…on that night?"

So soon, she had asked that question…so soon. Squall's eyes went into frenzy, moving back and forth as if searching around the room for an answer. With a heart pounding repeatedly within his chest, he had to take a deep breath to calm it. Thinking back to that night was simple enough, but thinking of his thoughts on that particular night, however…he knew Rinoa would not like the ugly answer he had in store for her. What went through his mind was far worse than the loneliness factor, one that was sure to leave an imprint on Rinoa's heart, damaging it further.

…What did I do? What was I thinking?

I was lying beside her all night long…I hadn't slept a wink... I was trying to talk myself out of leaving…I had been doing so all night long. An ongoing debate…was I to stay, was I to leave? If I left, where would I go, and if I stayed, what would I do? It was endless…

I heard her cough into her palm and shift a little underneath the covers. She must've been cold. I looked at her as she silently shivered in the night… She always gets cold at nighttime, no matter what the AC was on, she'll freeze as though we were in an icebox. She was always the same…never changing…always cold.

Then it happened…I stared at her gentle face first. One thing's certain, she'll always be beautiful…I still want to touch her, but…she doesn't even want me here… I don't want to be here…No…I do, but…I don't. Still unable to make up my mind, I brought my mouth to her cheek, and planted a tender kiss...

I don't think I actually had the heart to leave, no…I didn't think I actually had the heart to leave, but I did… My plan was to leave and get some air for about an hour or so…but when I left, I found myself near the train station…and had somehow, wound up on the train itself…

"…Squall, just tell me… I think I can handle it now." Rinoa said, touching his back with a soft hand, and he faced her, his eyes glistening even in the darkness of the room. Rinoa sat up, moving closer to him, "Squall…?"

And he grimaced, throat caving in as he finally released his sin, "…I hated you."

The young woman immediately retracted her hand from his back allowing his words to register in her mind, her mouth opened yet speechless. It was at that moment that Rinoa found herself wondering if she really needed to know the answer.

"…I hated you…," He continued, "I hated myself… I hated our lives, everything about them. I couldn't stand living in Balamb…in the house that your dad paid for. I couldn't stand being controlled, accepting their gifts as if I enjoyed eating out of other people's hands… They treated me as if I were poor…just because my parents couldn't get along and I was always stuck out somewhere…I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve you. My whole life was a lie! Never good enough for anyone or anything…"

He sighed heavily, disbelieving the fact that he was speaking the words of his heart to her finally, "That's why when Laguna told me that I was too young to take the vow, I bought it. He made me realize that I still had some growing up to do…that I wasn't mature enough to handle those responsibilities… But back then, I didn't think about just who was pleading me to take things slowly… That old man couldn't even obey his own vows, so what right did he have to say anything to me…"

Rinoa backed against the chair's cushions, sitting herself upright to digest Squall's words properly, "Rinoa, I can't even begin to explain what went through my head that night, words just won't do… I can't tell you exactly why I left, because in all honesty…I just don't know why. I don't know why I didn't say anything to you before or why I held it all in… and I can't… I'm…I'm sorry." He murmured, his eyes finally moving away to some distant figure elsewhere.

"…Squall…" Feeling her heart heavier than ever, she feared her eyes would begin to display that same sorrow. Squall, preparing himself to receive hateful words from her behalf, was surprised when she instead muttered softly, "I didn't know." She attempted to call to him once more, but couldn't bare to speak his name again, "…I didn't realize…"

Squall, hearing her voice at such distress, eased down from the arm of the chair and sat beside her, placing a hand on her face. He stared into her eyes, "…I never blamed you…not once did I ever blame you. Every single day that I spent a part from you I realized just what I fool I had been. I was in love with you, and I let those idiots talk me out of it. I allowed facts and labels to stand in my way, stand in our way… I was so weak…a mindless puppet manipulated into living their lives…I hated myself every day, for how stupid I had been… The longer I stayed, the duller I became… Suddenly, all the excitement of the world that my dad always talked about became interesting to me…and I just had to have it. I needed it. Rinoa…I know I'm not making any sense right now. All the things that happened to me, all the so called excitement I experienced…it could never compare to you…" Finally, he stated, his glossy eyes like a magnet of hers, "…I never stopped loving you."

Once Upon An Author's Thoughts

Hi again everyone, I don't know what this chapter will bring. Dare I say to flame me if it's stupid…so many things are on my mind lately and I can't concentrate. No matter, I am still dedicated enough to finish this story. I won't make any promises, because I've come to realize whenever I make a promise for another update—a swift update, it almost never happens until much, much later, so for everyone's sake, I won't make a promise.

Well now, I'm not too fond of the new reply system, so I'll just say a quick thank you to everyone who took the time to leave a review---and to those of you who read but didn't really say anything, thank you too!

SavannahX-Thank you so much, I'm so sorry for the slow updates, and I will think about returning to Eternal Breath! How long you must've been waiting around for these…

Lady-Rinoa14- Well I'm doing just fine, I'm glad to be back! I'm glad my writing seems to be still intact, thank you so much for pointing that out. It seems with the storms, I've just lost touchwith everything. That's why I'm trying to write this story, because I feel like it if I leave it alone, I may never come back to it.

Conaleigh Leonhart- You read all of them in one sit; I'm surprised your computer monitor isn't in love with you right now, lol. Thank you so much, and I will definitely keep writing!

Luis-Yeah, I thought about making them argue, but then I thought… "Well…Seifer's better than that." So…really, he gave Squall a 'warning' …lol… But I'm glad that I surprised you! I try not to make my stories too predictable at times. And please, thank you! I probably would've given up on this story a long time ago had it not been the encouragement from people like you, so please, it's my pleasure!

Blue-Yeah, Rori is so innocent! But…I think I've got something in store for her…just a little 'fun'! lol…Anyway, yeah, I know what you mean…I feel lazy sometimes too...and detached from everything around me, it's a weird feeling…but it still doesn't drive me to NOT read chapter 9, lol, I'm just kidding!

k-tea- lol, Yeah, it was sudden, wasn't it? I hope your heart was calmer this time around, thanks so much!

Optical Goddess- You sat down and read all of them in one sit too? O.O---hands her a seat cushion I'm so sorry that your bottom hurts, hehe! No worries about Squall not getting back, I took the liberty to actually knock some sense into him! Yay! But looks can be deceiving, he and Rinoa have a lot to talk about tonight, a LOT…lol

Pezjunkie13-lol, thank you very much. I still say that old show "In the heat of the Night" was going through my mind then, lol…so sorry I actually wrote it into the story, lol. And I am continuing, so please, feel free to point out anything else!

That's everyone? I think so… So once again, thanks everyone for taking the time to read, and or, review. So let me have it this time around, like it or hate it, no matter, I'm all ears…err…eyes! O.O

Thank you,

StardustRay