A/N: Please don't be offended if you or someone you know gets military discounts. I just assumed, as commander-in-chief of the Imperial Military, Vader should get one.
Darth Vader Demands Military Discounts
Darth Vader glanced over the ticket prices.
Adults: $7.
Children (12 & Under): $5.
Seniors (70+): $5
Military: $4.
"Wow!" Vader exclaimed. "Four bucks to see Pirates of the Caribbean Two! Now there's a bargain!" He approached the ticket vendor.
"One military ticket, please!" the Dark Lord requested happily.
"Do you have a military ID?" the vendor asked, not looking up from her magazine.
"Ummm…" He conducted a frantic, hasty search for his ID. "No," he pronounced at last.
"No ID, no discount," the vendor informed him, snapping her bubble gum.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," he retorted, checking various pockets sewn on the inside of his robe.
"Hurry it up!" an irate voice behind him demanded.
"Don't you recognize me?" Vader asked hopefully. "Lord Darth Vader? Head of the Imperial Military? Ringin' a bell?"
"No," the vendor replied shortly.
Vader looked dejected for a moment, and then brightened up. "Wait a minute. I'm Darth Vader. I can strangle you and get in for free!"
The vendor looked up for the first time. "Uh, you don't really need an ID. Here's your ticket. Go on in!"
"Finally!" Vader said, striding into the theater.
"Why are you watching Dead Man's Chest anyway?" a thousand inquiring fans asked.
The vendor rolled her eyes. "Duh, Johnny Depp!"