Drowning In My Sorrows
"Me I don't show much
Its not that hard to hide you
See in a moment
I cant remember how to
Be all you wanted
I couldn't ever love you more
I couldn't love you more
I couldn't love
You want me to cry and play my part
I want you to sigh and fall apart
We want this like everyone else"
The End Of The World – The Cure
"So pick me. Choose me. Love me."
My words echo in my head as I sit at the bar with George, Izzie and Cristina. I said that I wouldn't beh. But I did.
And now he isn't coming. I know it.
So I begged and looked like a fool, and for what? For nothing.
Each time the door opens the four of us whip our heads round, but I know he isn't coming. So do they.
"Pour me another." I tell Joe, whose eyes crinkle sympathetically.
"This ones on the house." I nod my thanks as he continues speaking, "He'll come Meredith." I grin at his optismism. Moments later George says something similar and out of the corner of my eye I see both Izzie amd Cristina whack him.
I look at Cristina and she has the look on her face. One I recognise from me wearing the same look so many times as well. The look where we have to tell a family that their loved one won't make it.
Rule one of dealing with loved ones and families.
No Promises.
I tip my head back and savour the burn of the amber liquid trickling down my throat and into my gut.
And I wait. For something.. For someone.. who won't come.