Known It All Along
"You're the echoes of my everything
You're the emptiness
The whole world sings at night
You're the laziness of afternoon
You're the reason why
I burst and why I bloom"
Hold Me Down – Motion City Soundtrack
I watch him walk away. Cristina snorts as Izzie fumbles in her huge bag and comes out with a packet of tissues. Cristina takes them from her and thrusts them into my hand, as I stare at the door. He's long gone. I mean its been minutes. But I can't turn away. I mechanically take a tissue from the pack and dry my eyes before turning. I stare at the bottles behind the bar. We sit in silence. My friends unable to find the words they need, and me too numb.
As the moments pass realisation comes back, "He chose me." I say, my voice slightly in awe.
"McDreamy chose you." Cristina smiles. Well, I know she tries to smile. Its more a softened smirk. But I appreciate the sentiment.
"I never get picked."
"Why not?" asks George, "Any guy would be mental not to chose you Meredith." I see the slight blush on his cheeks, but I keep the façade of me not knowing about his crush on me.
"George is right." says Izzie. "And looks what he said. Aww. It was so sweet and romantic. I'm happy for you Meredith you deserve this."
"Do I?" doubt creeps into my voice. "I don't.. I never.. I'm ordinary. Why me? I didn't think when I begged him.. I never thought he'd really. Oh my god. He chose me. And he said he'd give me space. Do I need space?"
"Yes" Izzie and George say as Cristina says "No."
I look at them bemused, as Izzie glares at Cristina. "You love him we know that Mer, but you can't just jump into a relationship. He didn't tell you about Addison. You need to take time. and take it slow. If you want to be with him, which you do right? then take the time to get to know each other this time. Do it properly." says Izzie. Always the romantic. I nod.
Looking up at Joe who smiles at me.
"You heard Derek" I say. "I need to get pissed and bitch about him."
And we get our drinks Cristina turns to me. "He was a McAss.."
And we spend the night McSlagging off McDreamy, McDickhead, McBastard, McAss…