Hullo there. So, as some might know, this is my first fanfiction that I've posted. It's not the first one that I've ever written but it's the first one to be posted on Anyway, I hope that you'll all enjoy this. It's a songfic to three songs: Conspiracy by Paramore, Missing by Evanescence, and Song To Say Goodbye by Placebo. I only took select parts from the last two songs (Missing and Song to Say Goodbye) because I couldn't quite find a way to fit all of the lyrics of each song in. The only complete song is Conspiracy. It's a DracoxGinny and I hope it's alright. I'm crossing my fingers here. So, please, please, please review. It will let me know if I should keep posting stories and if I'm cut out for Fanfiction. Now, read on and enjoy!
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"Are they actually expecting us to come back here and learn something?" an excited Pansy Parkinson giggled in Draco's ear, speaking rather loudly. "I mean, we just survived a war! A war that killed my father and my two eldest brothers! I mean what did they ever do to deserve that? All they did was fight for the true winner of the battle, the Dark Lord! I mean, I don't see why they're all so bloody untrustworthy in the other houses!" Now Pansy wasn't one of the brighter girls in Slytherin and Draco Malfoy was quickly catching on to the fact that the war had really taught her nothing about keeping her mouth shut. He could already see the strange looks that the other students were giving them.
"Shut your mouth Parkinson," he snarled with unnecessary ferocity as he nearly threw himself down on the bench of the Slytherin table. "Can't you see that everyone's staring at you or are you really that thick?" He glared and speared a piece of meat with his fork, plopping it down on his plate viciously. Yes, the Slytherin Prince was in a foul mood.
Please speak softly
For they will hear us
And they'll find out
Why we don't trust them
Draco picked at his food as some of the other reunited Slytherins rambled on about the war, the school, and other useless things. Sighing slightly, he took a small bite of the steak and chewed slowly, half blocking out the conversation around him.
"Malfoy… took it hard… his father… no trust… other Houses…" Malfoy blinked when he finally picked up some of the murmurings. Turning his cold, flashing silver eyes on the gossipers (none other then Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, and Zacharias Smith), he watched calmly. Eyes narrowing, he confronted the group that was otherwise oblivious to the Malfoy's watchful stare.
"What was that? Speak up, I can't hear you!" he snarled, anger rising like bile in his throat. "What about my father?" The other Slytherins drew away, frightful of their leader's cold gaze and attitude.
"N-nothing at all Malfoy…" Zabini had the courage to stammer. Pansy and the others nodded quickly, taking up that excuse as well. "Nothing at all…" the boy repeated again as Malfoy turned away, furious.
Speak up dear
'Cause I cannot hear you
I need to know
Why we don't trust them
After the feast, Draco wandered the halls of the dungeon aimlessly. No one wanted to talk to him, much less be around him. They all said that he was "changed" since the end of the war. Well, who wouldn't be? Even Potty- Potter had changed.
It had been a bloody war, filled with lost lives and violence. In the end, the Boy Who Lived had saved everyone. Once again, Potter was the hero and everyone loved him. He had saved the wizarding world and everyone in it, even the cruel ones, and that automatically made him noble and wonderful. And of course, Draco was left on the side. Potter always won. He had the whole school supporting him and Draco, once again, was alone to face his future. He had driven everyone away during the war. His own family did not want him. None of the other Slytherins had any respect for him anymore. Malfoys were suppose to be envied and feared but instead he was frowned upon. Even Pansy wasn't chasing him around anymore.
Explain to me
This conspiracy against me, yeah
And tell me how
I've lost my power, oh yeah
Draco wandered towards the double doors that led out of the castle. Maybe some fresh air would do him good. Walking slowly, he exited the drafty stone walls and was instantly hit with a pleasant breeze. Looking around, he watched as the sun twinkled down, reflecting off the placid surface of the Black Lake. Draco couldn't help noticing that it was a beautiful day out. In one sweeping gaze, he took in the fact that almost no Slytherins were outside. Sometimes he thought that they were like bats, hating the daylight. Smirking to himself at this thought, he continued onward, walking slowly without any real destination. Passing several fourth years, he noted the glares and mutters that he received from them. Abruptly changing course, he sighed when he was met with another unfriendly crowd of students. Draco had never felt awkward in his life but it was probably the time to admit that he was actually unsure about this whole "being back at school thing".
Where can I turn
'Cause I need something more
Surrounded by uncertainty
I'm so unsure
Draco quickened his pace as he passed by other groups of students who gave him disdainful glances before almost drawing away from him. Glaring at the ground, he moved towards the Black Lake. Perhaps he could find a tree to sit under where he wouldn't be bothered by other students. Crossing his arms over his chest, he reached the lake's edge and stopped suddenly, slumping against the trunk of a tree that was growing by the banks. Being alone was not something he liked, nor wanted. Slowly sinking into sitting position, he fixed his eyes resolutely on the small ripples of the lake.
Tell me why I feel so alone
'Cause I need to know
To who do I owe
The Slytherin soon realized that the ripples were not just coming from the waves on the shore but someone was trying to skip rocks. In fact, that certain someone was trying and failing miserably. He watched sullenly as one after another rock dropped like… well… a stone into the depths of the lake. He couldn't help feeling a slight twinge of satisfaction at the fact that maybe someone else was having almost as terrible a day was he was. Maybe someone else actually felt like the whole world was against them. Looking over, he realized that that someone was Ginny Weasley. Growling in annoyance that he had actually been relating to a Weasley, a blood traitor, he looked away quickly, barely taking in the youngest Weasley's red hair blowing around her face and the way that she had also been staring at him as well. Kicking at a patch of dirt, he glared angrily. And yet he still couldn't put the fact that she was a Weasley behind her. Maybe it was years of upbringing that told him to never show his feelings, to never laugh unless it was cold and sardonic, to never feel happy, to never feel affection, to never cry, and of course, to never, ever love anyone. So Malfoy steeled his face into a caricature of indifference and hostility.
Explain to me
This conspiracy against me, yeah
And tell me how
I lost my power, oh yeah
Draco shook his head and ignored the Weasley who had wandered over to him. After several more tense moments of silence, he looked up at her, narrowing his eyes.
"Yes Weasley?" he asked in a cold voice. "Can I help you?" His cold stare was met by an even, wondering gaze.
"You came back?" she remarked in surprise. "After the war, you actually came back here." Unlike Malfoy, Ginny had managed to put their families differences behind her. Draco's face twisted into a sneer.
"Well what was I suppose to do? Crawl back to my mother and rot in that hell hole of a house," he snarled at her. "That would be almost as bad as going back to that filthy house that your family inhabits!" Ginny drew back as if she had been slapped. Her face hardened and she turned on her heel, stalking away. Draco smirked smugly, feeling slightly triumphant as he watched the youngest Weasel slink away.
In fact, he was slightly surprised that Ginny was back along with her older brother, the boy Weasley. The Weasley family had not escaped the losses of the war, or so Draco had heard later. The eldest, Charlie, had been badly wounded while the father, Arthur, the one that he constantly harassed and looked down upon, had died. Malfoy didn't even want to think of how. Gritting his teeth, he shook his head and looked out at the water again.
There had been so much death and destruction. Not even his own father had survived. Swallowing hard as he felt a lump grow in his throat, he stood quickly and kicked at the tree. That wasn't suppose to happen. His father had promised to come back alive. He had promised him when Draco had refused to fight. He had been scared and his father had promised.
I thought
You would make it through
Because you said
That we'd make it through
And when all security fails
You'd be there
To help me through
Draco began to stomp back up to the castle. Yep, he was completely alone. At least the stares didn't bother him anymore.
Explain to me
This conspiracy against me, yeah
And tell me how
I lost my power, oh yeah
The next day, Draco woke late. Rolling sleepily out of bed, he rummaged around in his trunk for a moment before pulling out a white long sleeved shirt and a clean pair of the mandatory Slytherin robes. Dressing slowly, he had time to think things over. He was most definitely never going back home to his mother, as he had told the Weasley girl before. Sighing, he ran a comb through his white-blond hair and then headed for the door. Home was no longer home. His mother had fallen into a depression when his mother had died and he was no longer part of that family. He was disgraced and shamed and he would never go home. He doubted that his mother could even remember where he was, not that he cared f she did or not.
Please, please, forgive me
But I won't be home again
Maybe someday you'll look up
And barely conscious you'll say to no one
"Isn't something missing?"
Dragging his feet down the hall, Draco finally reached the Great Hall and slumped inside. Heading towards the Slytherin table, he could practically feel the gaze of other students boring into him. Eyes narrowing slightly, he continued to the table, sitting at the very end of one of the benches. Sighing, he took a piece of toast onto his plate, breaking it up into tiny pieces before nibbling on one of the corners.
Draco was just enjoying his perfectly normal breakfast (no one was talking about him) when there was a whoosh and hundreds of owls swooped down into the Great Hall. Obviously people really wanted to check up on their kids since the war. Almost holding his breath, he waited to see if there was an owl coming to him. But of course, while everyone around his began tearing open letters, he was left to chew on his dry toast and pretend that he didn't care. Biting his lip, he willed himself not to be upset. It was simple really. He could easily pretend he didn't care.
You won't cry for my absence, I know
You forgot me long ago
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so insignificant?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Watching the other Slytherins, Draco was oblivious to another student who was watching him intently, Ginny Weasley. As he got up and left to skip his first class, Charms, he didn't notice the redhead getting up and following him. Wandering down the halls, Draco didn't even notice Ginny. He was completely wrapped up in his own thoughts about his mother, about the war, about his dead father. He was forgotten by his mother. Gritting his teeth, he felt his chest constrict painfully at this thought. Ordinarily, if his father was still alive, he would have received a letter every day. In fact, just last year he had been begging his mum not to send him so many letters. It was rather ironic. Now he was wishing that he could get one. Just one letter to let him know that she still remembered and cared for him.
Ginny waited several more minutes before speaking in a soft voice. Well, it was rather her duty to stop Malfoy. After all, he was cutting class and she was a prefect. Clearing her throat, she spoke.
"Malfoy, why are you out of class?" she asked in a calm voice. The Slytherin whipped around, staring suspiciously at her, silver-blue eyes taking in every one of her features. Ginny stared back at him, noticing that his eyes were slightly watery. He hadn't been about to cry had he?
"Were you following me?" he asked warily. "And why do you care if I'm out of class?" He glared angrily at the Weasley. Ginny narrowed her eyes.
"I'm here because I'm a prefect and I'm suppose to make sure no students are skipping class," she answered smoothly, crossing her arms over her chest. "You have to go to class." Draco glared at her.
"Frankly, I don't give a damn if you're a professor. I don't feel like going to class so I'm not going to. If you've got a problem with that, you can just bugger off!" he hissed at her. "Get lost Weaslette!" All the sadness in his eyes was gone, replaced by anger.
"Oh is ickle Drakie sad that his father isn't around to protect him anymore?" Ginny snapped with a very Slytherin-like sneer. Draco's face twisted in fury.
"Don't you talk about my father Weasley!" he snarled, hand going into his pocket for his wand. Ginny scoffed. "What about yours? The stupid man died as well and it was probably for some idiotic reason!" Ginny gasped.
"Do you know how my father died Malfoy?! He died trying to save your father from Voldemort! That's right. My father, even after all your father's harassment, still had a heart to try and save your wretched father's carcass!" she said, voice raising to almost a yell. "And I'll talk all I want about your father. You can't do anything to me! No one cares enough to back you up. Even your mother doesn't care about you!" Draco stared at her, her words still being absorbed into his brain.
"What would you say if I told you that you were right? Would it break your little noble Gryffindor heart?" he snapped, feeling the lump in his throat return. "Well I'll say it! You're right! No one cares about me! My mother doesn't care and my father was a rotten ass but he was my father!" His voice cracked and Ginny could tell he was about to cry. With one last look in her direction, he turned on his heel and dashed for the boys' washroom, locking himself in a stall as wave after waves of hurt and remorse washed over him. Choked sobs echoed around the room as he leaned up against the door and it took him a second to realize that they were coming from him.
Ginny blinked, completely stunned about what had just happened. Draco Malfoy was crying? Suddenly her body was moving and she was dashing after him. As much as she hated Draco Malfoy, she had to help him. It wasn't right to leave him like that. He was a broken young man. Turning into the bathroom, she looked around, hearing the small ragged sobs coming from the very last stall on the right. Leaning up against the door from the outside, she stood for a second, trying to collect her thoughts.
You are one of God's mistakes
You crying, tragic waste of skin
I'm well aware of how it aches
And you still won't let me in
"Malfoy, open the door," Ginny finally ordered in a stern voice. "Let me talk to you." Ginny heard ragged breathing on the other side and then came the answer.
"N-no…"
"You need help Malfoy," she said, softening her voice. "You can't go on like this. At least unlock the door. You don't have to talk to me or anything." Draco listened closely. The offer was tempting. No, no, no.
"Get away from me Weaslette. I don't need your help," he snapped although the remark held no sting, just sadness. "Leave me alone." Ginny shook her head and pulled out her wand.
"No. No way," she said stoutly. Pointing her wand at the door, Draco watched helplessly as the lock flicked open and the door began to open. "There is no fucking way Draco."
Now I'm breaking down your door
To try and save your swollen face
Though I don't like you anymore
You lying, trying waste of space
The door swung open and Draco practically collapsed into Ginny's arms, tears still running down his face. Ginny was startled but managed to wrap her arms around his shaking body.
"Easy Draco," she murmured. Now that she had used his first name, she couldn't stop using it. Sighing, she looked down at him as his tears fell onto her robes.
Trying to control himself, Draco tried to stem his tears but he somehow couldn't. All the emotions that he had bottled up came rushing out. At least he had enough Slytherin dignity left to pull away from her.
"Stay away Weasley," he whispered, leaning up against the wall. He rubbed furiously at this eyes, trying to stop the tears. "Just leave me alone." Ginny frowned, stung by his coldness.
Before our innocence was lost
You were always one of those
Blessed with lucky sevens
And a voice that made me cry
"Oh give it up Draco. You're in terrible condition and I'm the only one who's offering to help you," Ginny answered. Draco looked over at her and bit his lip, willing away the tears as she hugged him again.
My, oh my
Draco sighed and slowly put his arms around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. All he could wonder was why. Why was she helping him after all the terrible things he'd done to her? Why was she so kind? Why was he accepting her help? Why was he crying? Why? Why? Why?
"You need to let it go Draco," Ginny was whispering softly when he managed to focus on her words. "It's not your fault that your father died. It's not your fault that you weren't strong enough to fight. I didn't fight either. It's not your fault." Draco blinked. No one had ever, ever said that to him in his life
Now I'm trying to wake you up
To pull you from the liquid sky
'Cause if you don't we'll both end up
With just your song to say goodbye
My, oh my
"Do you hear me Draco?" Ginny asked softly, looking up at him and pushing his blond bangs from his silver, still watering eyes. Draco bit his lip and nodded slowly.
"Yeah-" he choked out, holding on tightly to her. In fact, he didn't want her to leave at all. He didn't want her to go away. And right there, in the middle of the boys' washroom, through his tears, he kissed her, hard and passionate. And guess what? She kissed back.
A song to say goodbye
A song to say goodbye
It's a song to say goodbye
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And there it is. I hope that you enjoyed it! Please review. I'm begging here. Anyway, thanks for reading!!!