Darth Vader Cleans Out His Inbox
A/N: Our favorite Sith Lord uses a Microsoft PC because most of these drabbles are exaggerated versions of day-to-day events in MY life transposed on his.
Darth Vader let out a deep sigh of satisfaction. After a long, boring business trip, he was finally home. And more importantly, finally to his homepage. He hurriedly bypassed the "Wicked" wallpaper and stupid pop-up (how he got pop-ups without being on the Internet, he'd never know) and headed straight for the Outlook Express icon.
"Holy crap!" he exclaimed as the number of unread emails jumped from five to ten to thirty. "Internet Karma has finally paid off!" Internet Karma is the magical property by which one receives a proportionate number of emails as to how much they do to benefit the Internet society.
He waited till the blue "receiving mail" emblem turned into the "no new messages" envelope to check the first email. He skimmed it.
"No, I would not like to a Nigerian widow settle her legal affairs by setting up a wire transfer with American currency," the black-robed figure informed the screen. "What is America, some kind of bank? Delete!" He hit the mighty red X of judgment, and the Nigerian widow was no more. He read on.
"What the Mustafar would I do with a revolutionary new vacuum cleaner?" the Sith grumbled. "Hit people over the head with it?"
"Please download the attachment onto your computer. It will make your machine run up to 7 times as fast," Vader read aloud. He looked at the attachment. "KillerTrojanVirus. Come ON."
"There wuz this guy. He lieked this gurl. But she didtn leik him. So he sh0t himsev.& she gto a nute saying hE sh0t himsev B'cuz he wuz sad he didtn leik him. Then hse sh0t hersev. The Edn. Sedn this email to 10 othre peeps or youll never be l0ved," Vader read silently. He suddenly realized everything Sidious had told him about their citizens being morons was true.