Darth Vader Makes A Totally Awesome Gym Bag
Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, had just graduated ninth grade home economics.
This, as he frequently told his subordinates, was not as girly as it sounded, he had never received a "real" education, he needed easy credits to graduate, and look, he made a totally awesome gym bag! When was the last time they made a totally awesome gym bag?
"Man, this is so much better than my other gym bag," he told an unenthusiastic Palpatine. "I mean, come on. It's bright green. I'll never lose it."
"Or look directly at it," the Emperor muttered, thinking that Vader might take some time off in the future.
"And, it's not too big. I have thirty cubic centimeters of space in this baby. Any more than that and you're just showing off, right?"
"Or you need it to hold something bigger than a lightsaber," he said under his breath, considering the possibility that Vader's upcoming vacation might not be sabbatical so much as hospitalization.
"And it's water-resistant, too!" Vader babbled on, blissfully unaware of Palpatine's open hostility as he wondered how soon was too soon to kill one's apprentice.
"Or, at least, it should be. I had to rip out the seams, like, four times. But one girl in the class had to rip out five (I think she might be mentally delayed, though)"
"OH, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS UNHOLY, SHUT UP, THE BAG SUCKS!"
"But-"
"ON ICE! IT SUCKS ON ICE!"
He escorted a very confused Dark Lord of the Sith to the door, and realized he had just uttered the phrase "sucks on ice."
He reached for the blaster to end it all, then recognized that sometimes, to really communicate, you have to sink to their level.