65. Irrational
He stares at his reflection in the mirror, trying to figure out what has made him so repulsive to her, and he thinks that it can't be the scar, the one that blossoms just above his heart in a bitter parody of a flower, all hard, puckered skin and pale flesh, because he's got one between his eyes that she's never had a problem with. His fingers glance over the injury, still sensitive and shooting up tiny sparks when he touches it.
Two inches down, and they'd all be playing harps right now.
The worst thing about it, the very worst thing about the whole event is that the last person he remembers seeing is Kinneas, watching him go right over the cliff, giving up everything as he falls and yet trying to hold onto it all, her face the last thing that he sees, because if he's going to die, he's not going to go without her.
They should have let him drown.
It's pointless to come back, but he had to, because he's SeeD, and that's what they do, that's what everyone tells him that SeeD should do. He's pissed that she made him pass those stupid exams in the first place.
He should have been dead. Hyne knows he was close enough.
Sure, he would leave, turn tail and run, as much as it's lame of him to admit it, because Quistis is about the only thing that kept him remotely interested in Garden after...everything. He stares at his reflection and when he can't find what makes him so repulsive, he breaks the glass.
"Stupid," Fujin says, standing next to him and not even remotely sympathetic as Kadowaki pulls a hundred tiny glass slivers out of his hand, and Seifer has to agree, but it's Quistis, and she makes him do stupid things.